back to article Expect sales reps' calls if IT wants to ditch Oracle

Oracle executives brief clients against plans to move away from Big Red's technology platforms, it is alleged. A recent webinar by Palisade Compliance heard that it took "guts" for enterprise customers to make the decision to move away from Oracle technology as its senior salespeople would call customer CEOs and board members …

  1. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    Won't someone think of the Oracle sales drones bonuses...

    The end client company I am contracting for is currently and initially migrating all of its standalone databases away from Oracle to inform the wider Enterprise migration. The IT Directors plan is to get all the standalone stuff migrated and stable in in PROD first, and then he said he was looking forward to the look on the Oracle peoples faces when they do the licence audit. It seems as though the business case for doing so has put a large smile on the face of the CEO, Finance and Legal teams.

    Joyous.

    1. Killfalcon Silver badge

      Re: Won't someone think of the Oracle sales drones bonuses...

      Oracle sometimes stiff the sales drones too!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A company to avoid

    They charged our small agency 32k a year ten years ago for a *development* server, because client had mandated Oracle.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A company to avoid

      Presumably that cost got passed on to the client?

  3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    If pitching to a migration from Oracle the best opening to the C-suite would be "Do you want to buy Larry Ellison another yacht or do you want to buy your own?"

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Yacht a bad idea that one...

      1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

        I'm buoyed up by the thought.

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Coat

          You'd have to give them a stern talking to

          1. Fred Daggy Silver badge

            Watch you don't go overboard.

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Ah ha! So Robert Maxwell was trying to disentangle from Oracle then?

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
                Happy

                Downvoted? Too soon?

          2. David 132 Silver badge

            I bow to your superior wit. I'd keel for repartee like that.

    2. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

      No doubt about it, that Ellison is a bit of a w-anchor.

    3. ShadowSystems

      At Doctor Syntax...

      One of my ex-bosses remarked that the company would switch to Oracle "When Satan needs a heating system."

      It turned out that the man had previously worked at Oracle, gotten treated like crap, & had less than complimentary things to say about them.

      A then-coworker joked that it would be cheaper to "just use an Excel spreadsheet", to which my boss replied "And a fuck of a lot less buggy!"

      And Oracle wondered why their sales reps never got their calls returned, emails answered, or allowed to even get in farther than the front lobby?

      "Dear Oracle, You Suck. Fuck off!"

      =-J

    4. Matthew "The Worst Writer on the Internet" Saroff

      To be fair, Larry Ellison buys lots of cars ……… For the women who allege improper behavior.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

    So, going by your thumbnail, the typical Oracle salesmen is a Patrick Bateman clone on a Big Red phone?

  5. Martin Summers Silver badge

    It's never a mistake to move away from Oracle. They are appalling. These tactics just add to the proof.

  6. FuzzyTheBear
    Mushroom

    More dirty tricks ..

    Watch it .. if you suggest dropping us we're going to call your boss .. We're going to call the big wigs .. threats that will certainly work for some .. but the more it's known tactics the less effective they will become. Oracle is a bad company to do business with period. How low. I hope noone falls for it.

    1. DS999 Silver badge

      Re: More dirty tricks ..

      They'll also bring in a team for a license audit to make sure you haven't been underpaying in the past. Which many companies probably have been doing, intentionally or otherwise. They will pull all the levers to make that decision as painful as possible.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: More dirty tricks ..

        "They'll also bring in a team for a license audit"

        Unless you keep the move secret right up to the day you can tell them to "piss off, we no longer have a business relationship, you're not coming in!"

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: More dirty tricks ..

      Additionally, such a huge change of moving to or from Oracle, I'd expect the board and CEO to already be on board with the change. That's a pretty major thing to do in any organisation and likely very costly, whichever direction the company is moving in. I can't see a person in charge of IT at less than board level being able to sign off on a deal like that.

  7. Jay 2

    Currently looking to renew some Oracle Linux subscriptions. Only using that to stop them complaining if we need support for the Oracle DB on top. We've decided no need for Premium any more so have asked for how much Premium Limited and Basic are.

    Strangely enough this didn't go down very well and they almost flat out refuse to give us a quote (via VAR) whilst they keep sending the same pic of the differences between Premium and Basic. Though we don't use the Premium features, which is one reason to switch.

    Also they deliberately ask loads of leading questions about virtualisation and cloud intending to catch us out and screw us over. Unfortunately for them I know what they're up to and also we're running on 2 CPU socket bare metal so we're not going to get caught out on that one.

  8. Wade Burchette

    I really do believe

    I really do believe that Oracle has a factory dedicated to punching puppies and kicking kittens. They are just that evil.

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