Hey, Walkers. What's the difference between crisps and chips? Answer: You can't get either of them

Potato snack maker Walkers has seen the semiconductor chip shortage and raised it a deep fried crisp* between two oily fingers. The company confirmed to The Register: "A recent IT system upgrade has disrupted the supply of some of our products." From container ships stuck in canals, to worldwide shortages of lorry drivers …

[JassMan]

The crisps are sold under the Lay's brand in the US

And in France - but that's OK because I preferr Vico™ anyway

[Anonymous Coward]

Olestra

Can never bring myself to eat Crisps branded Olay after the anal leakage stories of the 90s.

Talking of leaks, any idea what caused the borkage and which software/system(s) they are using?

[katrinab]

Re: Olestra

I thought Olay was a South African brand of moisturising creams?

[Ace2]

Re: Olestra

It’s Lay’s, no O.

[gotes]

Re: Olestra

I believe the brand is called "Frito-Lay" in the USA so I'm allowing it for the purpose of joke making.

[katrinab]

Re: Olestra

The company is called Frito Lay. They produce Fritos and Lays.

[ShadowSystems]

A question for Liam...

A completely off topic question, so please accept a pint beforehand to help lubricate out your answer.

If you decide to name your child in a contrarian fashion, might that child then be called Un Proven?

*Runs away before you club me with a dead fish*

[Noodle]

That headline

Pity the poor New Zealanders trying to parse that headline when we have:

Chips = Crisps

Hot chips = Chips

Chips = (micro) Chips

[Teejay]

Re: That headline

NZ too, being an English language country? I thought only Germany was that confusing.

[KarMann]

Re: That headline

Even worse about That Headline: 'What's the difference between crisps and chips? Answer: You can't get either of them'

That's, umm, how shall I put it, not exactly a difference? The joke format should have been 'What do crisps and chips have in common?', also an established joke template, and with the additional merit of actually describing the situation.

[Liam Proven]

Re: That headline

Yeah, I know. There actually was a reason for that form, but it didn't survive the publication process, unfortunately.

Of course, with _l'esprit d'escalier,_ I could have just said "Dunno -- we can't get either". Ah well.

[Snowy]

Re: That headline

Some also find the joke has things in common with the other two, they can not get it :)

[nematoad]

Happy daze.

"...you're basically stuck with plain or, for some reason, paprika."

Good lord, the thought of paprika flavoured crisps brings back a few memories.

During my time in the Army in the late '60s I was posted to Germany and paprika was the only flavour we could get. If my memory serves me correctly, we didn't even have the luxury of ready salted ones.

Mind you, given the fact that the booze was duty free most of the time we were not in a fit state to know what flavour the crisps were.

[Neil Barnes]

Re: Happy daze.

But, but, paprika crisps are the best, closely followed by salted. But make sure you get Funny Frisch, in the green and red packet, and not their less good competitors in the, er, red and green packet.

[jmch]

Re: Happy daze.

"paprika crisps are the best"

Some people seem to think so. They are wrong. Scientifically proven and all >>>>>

Salt only, or salt and pepper at a pinch.

[Liam Proven]

Re: Happy daze.

I am terribly sorry but this is incorrect.

Salt'n'vinegar is in fact the best flavour. Globus used to do them but they've stopped. I was and upset about that, but I've found sources of British ones now.

(Iceland or Delmart, for any other Bohemiam types.)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Happy daze.

Fortunately Sweden is not quite continental. We have a wide selection of them in the shops, with flavours ranging from "burnt butter and something or other" by way of "sweet chilli and whatever" to the bog standard sour cream an onion. The traditionalists can still get dill, paprika and no flavour plain salted. The more "upscale" selection have truffles, parmesan, etc. Then there is the ones made from !potatoes as well, which are generally plain salted so that you can be certain that sweet potato is about as tasteless as a regular potato once it is deep-fried in slight rancid cheap oil (ok, apparently the palm oil is on it's way out, finally).

Come to think of it it was 4-5 months since the last time I bought any, gone off them lately. I generally buy a few smallish bags in winter: they are a nice treat to have in the car when you get back from a few days ski trip (I generally go for the "fancy" beetroot ones).

[Paul Crawford]

So if you've got a hankering for Monster Munch

You should be sectioned?

[Dr_N]

Only because modern tiny packets of tiny-sized Monster Munch are an abomination.

[bigphil9009]

Hang on, they've been big again for years now! I suggest you try the stand-alone packets, not the ones in the multipacks. And they also now do Giant Monster Munch! Hmm, I might be a bit obsessed by Monster Munch...

[Jedit]

"You should be sectioned?

Failure to like Monster Munch is an anti-proletarian sentiment, COMRADE.

[Teejay]

Totally off-topic

The crisps and chips difference gets ever more confusing on the European mainland, where in Germany the English word 'crisps' is the German word 'Chips', and the English word 'chips' is the German word 'Pommes' (pronounced very un-French). Go figure.

[Liam Proven]

Re: Totally off-topic

Which of course actually means "apples".

[Warm Braw]

Vinegar only goes on salads

It's a long time since I've been in Prague, but, in those days, almost everything was pickled. Including the inhabitants. And the central reservations of the approach roads were full of scantily-clad women chasing after lorries. I can't help feeling that Gary Lineker levels of 'bland' might actually be an improvement and a sign of greater economic security,

[TheProf]

Re: Vinegar only goes on salads

"And the central reservations of the approach roads were full of scantily-clad women chasing after lorries."

Do you have a Google Street View of this location?

Asking for myself.

[Denarius]

so they did a rollout

without a B***i rollback plan ?

[Doctor Syntax]

Waiting for the "Who, me?".

[AlexGreyhead]

TITSUPp

(Total Inability To Supply Usual Potato products)

… sorry… mine’s the one with the cheese and onion-smelling grease stains around the pockets…

[SecretSonOfHG]

False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

Best described as "UK shortages of lorry drivers" Seriously. Those who live in the rest of Europe can asses that there are no shortages of... anything at all, much less lorry drivers. Except computer chips for those customers cheap enough to get them for cheap (automakers). You brits should be honest about what the consequences of Brexit are. Yes, pandemics made the problem worse, but there are no "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers" anywhere in the world except in the UK

[Peter Gathercole]

Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

Um. It's real, but not the only problem.

https://trans.info/en/there-s-a-europe-wide-hgv-driver-shortage-so-why-do-uk-supply-chains-seem-more-disrupted-254524

This is the first I found that didn't come from a British news outlet, although this does look like a UK themed article.

But it poses exactly the problem you ask, and provides some explanations.

[SecretSonOfHG]

Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

Ok, let me rephrase that as: "there are shortages of (lorry drivers/plumbers/painters/crop collectors....) everywhere, but for some reason the only place where these shortages lead to supply chain shortages is the UK. Brexit is they key difference between places where, in spite of having shortages of (lorry drivers/plumbers/painters/crop collectors....) these things do not impact the supply chain so severely and the UK"

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

You brits should be honest about what the consequences of Brexit are.

Downvoted for failing to realise that almost half the UK population voted against it because we were fully able to work out the likely consequences.

Yes, pandemics made the problem worse

For HMG the pandemics were a wonderful opportunity to hide the effects for some considerable time. Cynical? Moi?

[Jedit]

"almost half the UK population voted against it"

If almost half of the UK population really had worked out the consequences of Brexit before it happened, we'd still be in the EU. The vote was 52-48 among people who expressed a preference; as a percentage of the electorate it was roughly 37-35 with 28% not voting. We're seeing more of those 28% come off the fence on the side of Rejoin now the effects of Brexit are being seen and felt, but they were happy either way until it actually did affect them - by which time it was too late.

[SecretSonOfHG]

Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

I did not said that all of the UK wanted to leave the EU, I merely stated that these things are consequences of Brexit. Unfortunately, the remainers are equally affected as the leavers. But the impacts are there, which is what my statement was about.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

" there are no "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers" anywhere in the world except in the UK"

So, those ships queuing up outside some US ports aren't really there because the container ports are not overflowing with containers because all those truck drivers are taking them them away and delivering them like normal?

[Noodle]

Re: False "worldwide shortages of lorry drivers leading to worldwide shortages"

Primarily due to a huge increase in the amount of goods being shipped to the US from China, compounded by decades of underinvestment in the ports themselves so they had no spare capacity, and then the reduced availability of all kinds of staff such as port workers and truck drivers due to Covid-19.

[Jim Whitaker]

Pedantry

Properly known as "Game chips".

[Arthur the cat]

Re: Pedantry

Properly known as "Game chips".

I thought that's what casino give you in exchange for money?

[Santa from Exeter]

Re: Pedantry

I trump your false pedantry Sir.

Game chips are not the same as crisps, they are thicker.

I apologise for the shittypedia link, but in this case it's actually correct.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_chips