back to article US lawmakers give Amazon until November to prove it didn't lie to Congress

US House representatives say they are ready to call upon the Department of Justice to investigate whether Amazon executives, including ex-CEO Jeff Bezos, lied to Congress about whether the internet giant unfairly uses customer data to create and market its own products. Employees in India were accused of keeping tabs on which …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Chop off their limbs, and let them be separate companies.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I see you edited it to read "companies"

  2. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Ugh

    I don't want to destroy Amazon... they're the only people able to take my money for anything then actually ship it to me, and if it's broke or the wrong thing, they actually fix it. No one else seems capable of that.

    I just want to smack them with a stick and make them not be such assholes.

    1. sabroni Silver badge

      Re: they're the only people able to take my money for anything then actually ship it to me

      Fuck me, the bullshit is strong on this site today!

      What a load of bollocks. I stopped using Amazon a number of years ago. Get tat off Ebay, get non-tat from specific online dealers.

      You are the reason Bezos doesn't have to give a shit about his warehouse workers, only concerned about your own inconvenience, never mind the working conditions you knowingly encourage.

      This attitude is why we're fucked.

  3. Danny 2

    Congress should pay for Amazon Prime...

    ...they'd receive their excuse tomorrow morning.

    Alexa, did Amazon lie to Congress?

    Sorry, I don't know that one.

    Alexa, you are under oath, did

    Sorry, I don't know that one.

    Alexa, don't interrupt me. Did Am

    Sorry, I don't know that one.

    Alexa, play Lies by the Violent Femmes

    Lies by Violent Femmes is only available on Music Unlimited. Here is a station based on lies.

    Alexa, play Lies by the Violent Femmes.

    Sorry, I don't know that one.

    Can an AI be convicted of perjury? I think we urgently need a fourth rule of robotics, no fibbing.

  4. b0llchit Silver badge
    Facepalm

    The defense

    We were not informed of any irregularities at any of our abroad enterprises. We have always informed you truthfully to the extent we were informed of any situation at hand. Please be assured, a full investigation is underway and any rogue elements, if present, will be brought to justice.

    ... Do I need to go into other details how the "Boss" never will be responsible for anything? It is hard not to be a cynic in this world.

    1. JDPower666

      Re: The defense

      I was about to say the same thing. A carefully worded statement will be made, with some carefully chosen paperwork to 'prove' they did no wrong. Nothing will come of it cos no government has the balls (or, to a lesser extent, resources) to actually take on any of the tech giants, merely wanting to put on a little theatre and make it look like they have any power in front of their electorate. Except maybe China, but not sure they're quite the example to follow on this.

  5. Brian 3

    the policy prohibit the use of anonymized data, but not de-anonymized data.. so they are totaly legit! they do this in canada too

    They need to be held responsible for "irregularities" regardless of whether they knew or not, they still profited from it.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Everyone knows they piss in the pool

    Its when they got caught (in India) pissing from the diving board that the trouble starts....

    The Committee turned a blind eye the last time they were investigated. They took Jeff at his word - probably dazzled at their temerity, having brought the richest man in the world to their hearing.

    And he lied and they pretended to believe him.

    Now they can't ignore the cheating and the lying any further.

    They need broken up - they have abused their effective monopoly - globally...

    1. UCAP Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Everyone knows they piss in the pool

      ... They need broken up - they have abused their effective monopoly ...

      Are we talking about Amazon or Congress?

    2. Youngone Silver badge

      Re: Everyone knows they piss in the pool

      Why wouldn't Jeff lie to them? There are literally no consequences for him, so he would have to be stupid to admit anything at all.

      Even is there is an investigation and Amazon are found to be guilty of watering their ale or whatever Jeff is not going to be inconvenienced in any way.

      In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets and steal loaves of bread.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    if you are a small business and use Amazon to sell your products, they keep ALL the user data, the business has zero access to it, so does not know their name / address / anything, Amazon slurps all the data and does with it what every web giant does, it makes MONEY

    anon because

    1. doublelayer Silver badge

      "Amazon slurps all the data and does with it what every web giant does, it makes MONEY"

      It's astonishing to me how bad their advertising is. When Google tries it based on some browsing data, especially since I stopped using them for search, they don't have that many data points. Amazon knows everything I ever purchased from them, which I also try to minimize, but it's a lot more useful data. And yet, they don't seem to know how to extrapolate from that. Maybe they would be better if I bought everything from them alone, but that's never going to happen and I somehow doubt they would improve.

      1. Aitor 1

        Terrible suggestions from amazon

        You bought a washing machine from them? well, maybe you want some more!

        It is just bad!

  8. Wolfclaw

    Bezos better get his space station in orbit and claim immunity from prosecution.

  9. Howard Sway Silver badge

    its own-brand coffee grinder, cereal, and vacuum cleaner popped up

    My God, you're the richest guy in history and you're still pissed off that someone else is making money by selling corn flakes, and insist on muscling in on that market too. The end result of course will be lower quality versions of every product on the planet, produced by workers in the worst allowable working conditions, and prices jacked back up as each sector is monopolised.

    The phrase "jack of all trades, master of none" should be kept in mind when tempted to buy any of this stuff.

  10. Jonjonz

    Yes Mr. Bozo Billionaire, we congress folk need a few more dachas and yatchs, just play along and send us some more of your pin money.

    As if any billionaire in the post Citizen's United US as anything to worry about legally.

  11. jngreenlee
    Big Brother

    Liars?

    Great, now do James Clapper.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beyond the rule of law?

    Probably

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