back to article You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?

I am standing in the middle of a supermarket, holding my tool. It's important that the security cameras see that I am waving my tool around. This is to avoid any embarrassment. OK, you've guessed the punchline: I am trying to compare my old folding set of hex keys with a new set I spotted yesterday on the discount aisle. …

  1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    "A screwdriver toolbox that's just a little bit too short to fit my screwdrivers into."

    Argh! This! The tips on my screwdrivers in my mini-toolbox had worn just slightly too much, so I bought a replacement set, and they are all just a couple of millimetres too long to go into my hand carryable tool box. Grrrrr. I'm tempted to get a rasp out and hack a few mill off the handle.

    1. GlenP Silver badge

      I've got a bench sander that would do the job quickly for you, I got it from the middle aisle at Lidl!

    2. Nifty Silver badge

      "I'm tempted to get a rasp out and hack a few mill off the handle."

      You do have cordless IOT rasp for that, right?

    3. VeganVegan

      Smack the box and lid a few tines with a hammer?

      Seems to me the whole point of getting new screwdrivers is that the old ones have worn tips, why would you wear down the tips of the new ones?

      If you are an ocd type like me, you can even make a jig for the hammer smacking, so that the dent on the lid fits the one on the box itself.

      1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

        Re: Smack the box and lid a few tines with a hammer?

        I wouldn't be taking a few mill off the tips, but off the handles - the other end, the plastic bit.

        Also, my "tool box" is a 900ml rigid plastic ice cream tub. :) Just a perfect fit in a small rucksack, and small enough to prevent over-accumulance of extra tools. I'm going to *have* to buy and eat some ice cream to find a replacement box.

        1. $till$kint

          Re: Smack the box and lid a few tines with a hammer?

          Reminds me of the time my wife came home with a Christmas tree a few inches too tall for our hallway. I wandered off to the garage to get a suitable saw, only to amble back in and find Mrs Skint brandishing her secateurs, about to lop off the top 12" of tree.

          This is up there in the Skint family annals with the tale of the sprouts she boiled without water that same Christmas.

          Neither of us drink these days. Life is so much more predictable without the gin.

  2. David Robinson 1

    Bargle nawdle zouss

    Hmmm, sounds like a lot of the stuff you get in Aldi/Lidl. I've yet to see either store beat having a MIG welder as one of their weekly offers.

    1. Mr Humbug

      Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

      I see your MIG welder and raise you a plate compactor (whacker plate)

      https://www.aldi.co.uk/scheppach-hp1100s-plate-compactor/p/012133263416400

      1. Montreal Sean

        Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

        Damn! The plate compactor is sold out!

        I needed one of those to help me close my tool kit.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

        Huh huh huh.

        Wacker.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

          @A/C

          Hmmm, difficult one this is. I can't decide whether you missed out the letter "h" by accident, or you have accidentally used a "c" instead of an "n"

      3. EVP

        Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

        Must. Have. One.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

        An underwater scooter? Saw one recently in Lidl - I might have been tempted if I hadn't stopped Scuba diving 20 years ago (one 5 hour treatment in a hyperbaric chamber was enough, especially as my dive had only been to 14m and everything was well within the dive table limits, etc).

    2. Danny 2

      Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

      Lidl PARKSIDE ® PFDS 120 A2 Mig Flux welding machine Unboxing and Test Fülldraht Schweißgerät 99€

      I go into Lidl-Aldi because they still have the cheapest malt Islay whisky, but I avoid the middle aisle as they often have cool tools at bucket prices.

      1. David Robinson 1

        Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

        Yeah, the Aldi and Lidl whiskies for £17.49 aren't bad for single malts. For when you fancy a whisky but don't want to break out the really good stuff.

        1. Danny 2

          Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

          @David Robinson 1

          You haven't drank enough whisky recently! £16.99 in Scotland, and that is after a year that the £17.49 price was reduced to £16.49. Bear in mind a cheap bottle of crap blend is £14 - I use that stuff as fly-trap. In fact I'm away out after this.

          My dad just died so I was divving up his drinks cabinet among the relatives, and my cousin in law Jim said, "I can't take this. I'm sure he'd want Danny to have it."

          Me and everyone else assured him I was the last person my dad would wish alcohol upon. I would like his booze but I'll respect his wishes and stick to his sweeties and Hibs paraphernalia.

          The iconic Frasers store in Edinburgh has just been turned into a Johnny Walker customer experience site. I have been drinking whisky in Edinburgh, and all around the world, all my life and have never tasted Johnny Walker. It's a Hollywood drink. I used to assume it was a whiskey like Jim Beam. Edinburgh is being Disneyfied. The Aldi-Lidl Islay malts are guid.

          1. Franco

            Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

            Never had Johnny Walker, or Chivas Regal either. For the price of a bottle of JW Blue you could get (at least) 3-4 bottles of a good malt such as Balvenie Doublewood.

            My blend of choice is actually Black Bottle, it's usually no more than £18 in the supermarkets and it's what ALL the pubs on Islay sell. It's what you'll find most of the locals quaffing when they're having a night on the sauce, with the good local produce kept for savouring rather than for serious drinking.

            1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

              Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

              I remember reading about a Chivas Regal knock-off that the manufacturer had decided to call Chivas Renal. Many a true word spoken in jest...

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

                Chivas Renal, as in: if you keep drinking that stuff you'll die of renal failure?

            2. Dante Alighieri
              Pint

              Black Bottle

              two versions though - there's the (to my mind) better international version or the UK variant.

              Fortunately you can get the former at the source. What is served on the island is anyone's guess.

              I've spent a lot of time on Islay and will be back soon. Fond memories of previous Lochside Inn owners, an evening of whisky chat and persuading him to open the Quentin Crisp bottle that he had aquired with a simple "so what does it taste like?". We found out. It hasn't been touched since.

              What's not to like? Decent birding and fabulous uisgea!

              --> nearest

              1. Franco

                Re: Black Bottle

                Couldn't tell you which version is sold on the island, I have hazy memories of some of the trips. We arrived and had a long wait for our lift to Port Charlotte so had lunch in the pub at Port Askaig and made an early start as it was £1 a nip, ended the night drinking the Port Charlotte hotel dry of Black Bottle.

            3. Chris G

              Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

              I can't believe the prices you guys are quoting, that equals about 5 bottles of excellent Spanish wine.

              I have no idea how much scotch that will get you here as I don't drink spirits. (Anymore)

              On a different note, I approve of reduction in price of the (currently) unfortunately named Corona beer, it seems there are those who link it with the Plague™. It's essential to add that slice of lime though, I had had a bottle turn up at the table in a couple of bars with lemon and had to send it back.

              1. Franco

                Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

                Remember though that unless you drink it neat a bottle of whisky will last you a lot longer than a bottle of wine. Malts especially have to try to maintain their premium feel, and Scotland now has minimum pricing, so "premium" blends are a couple of pounds at least more than the supermarket blends, and the cheapest malts are usually around a tenner more at least.

                Gin is very much the same since it became a hipster favouritre tipple as well.

              2. Mage Silver badge
                Pirate

                Re: Corona beer, it seems there are those who link it with the Plague

                I heard the local murder of rooks are urging the Corvids Association to sue the WHO.

                Corvids Press may not be amused. https://www.corvidspress.com/fiction/otherworld-series/

              3. TRT Silver badge

                Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

                At work we always used to joke that budget supermarket wine should be called Coats the Tongue... until someone brought back a bottle from Budgens that was ACTUALLY called Côtes de Thongue.

                It did, by the way.

            4. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

              Bowmore is my usual choice (if one is given) - though nothing has yet beaten the 25yo Macallan I once received as payment for fixing a computer.

            5. hopkinse

              Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

              They changed the recipe for Black Bottle a few years ago and ruined it. Much harsher now :-(

          2. John 110
            Pint

            Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

            "The Aldi-Lidl Islay malts are guid."

            I must have got a duff one then. After finishing off the bottle (not in one sitting!!) I hated it so much that I didn't mind paying for a genuine Laphroaig to take the taste away.

            I did get a nice and cheap 12 year old Islay malt from Tesco some years back, but that batch is long gone (rumoured to have been found in a warehouse and sold to Tesco) and their current cheapo Islay malt tastes like a cheapo Islay malt...

            1. Danny 2

              Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

              I must have got a duff one then... I didn't mind paying for a genuine Laphroaig to take the taste away.

              Aye, you just exemplified the cause of class warfare and Scottish nationalism. I wouldn't turn down a Laphroaig, but I can't afford a bottle every other day. My favourite Islay malt is far better but I'm not going to name it online because that drove the price up so I can't afford to drink it. Wheesht yer mooth!

              When I am elected I will pass a law banning sales of any whisky that the buyer can pronounce. When I become dictator I will ban all whisky exports.

      2. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

        Used to be they had cool but decent tools at affordable prices. Nowadays they have the same bargain isle shit everybody else sells for not THAT cheap prices. I've given up buying tools there because A: They're nowadays universally shit and B, they've apparently fired whomever worked at the office who knew what useful tools are and they rarely have something actually interesting. (And their tool naming/translation to Dutch is hilariously bad sometimes...)

    3. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

      MIG welders - no no no

      I already have an Aldi air compressor, actuallly it is not bad at all, but is due its annual drain.

      1. Ian Johnston Silver badge

        Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

        I've got one of these too. Not the most powerful one around, but it cost me about seventy quid. which is practically unbeatable.

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

          Weld on!

  3. Warm Braw

    My current set of hexes

    If you need advice on replacements, I can recommend Witch? magazine.

    1. Dr_N
      Pint

      Re: My current set of hexes

      Upvote AND beer icon for you, sir.

    2. non_hairy_biker
      Pint

      Re: My current set of hexes

      Seconded!

    3. Flightmode
      Pint

      Re: My current set of hexes

      Oh, wow. I'll happily exchange some liquid gold for the provided comment gold.

    4. Mage Silver badge

      Re: recommend Witch? magazine

      In Norn Iron Which and Witch have different pronunciation.

      It's always the 5mm Hex key that goes missing.

      1. Ian Johnston Silver badge

        Re: recommend Witch? magazine

        Same in Scotland. See also: "Cool whip".

        One of the problems with using synthetic phonics to teach reading here is that many/most of the schemes omit sounds essential in Scotland, like the "hwh" in "which" and the "ch" in "loch". They also tend to think that "four" and "for" sound identical, which confuses the hell out of children.

        1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

          Re: recommend Witch? magazine

          I was always confused in school by the teacher insisting that there/their and they're were homophones. (and to and too).

      2. VerySlowData

        Re: recommend Witch? magazine

        Really? I find that the 2mm hex keys round here seem to vanish into the black hole (that contains biros and single socks) whenever I need one...

  4. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Gimp

    You may have forgotten

    to collect a wetsuit and a chainsaw from the bargain aisle. I mean, in our industry they're both going to be useful sometime soon, right?

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: You may have forgotten

      I am about to go on a shoppoing expedition to my local Decathlon where they DO sell wetsuits and chainsaws. Who knows what their bargain aisle is selling... tomatoes, perhaps?

      1. CountCadaver Silver badge

        Re: You may have forgotten

        You'd love Canadian Tire aka Crappy Tire then Alistair, seriously its the only store I've ever been where you can buy a breadmaker, fishing supplies, car parts and a myriad of other stuff plus Canadian Tire money back (basically you can spend it like cash in their stores)

      2. Dr_N

        Re: You may have forgotten

        Hunting starts this weekend so it'll be useful hunting accessories. Wine, beer, pastis etc

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Discount Aisle/Cardboard Racking at the supermarket

    Have you bought a set of miniature molegrips yet, Mr Dabbs?

    I don't know what they would be useful for, being so small, but they are irresistible at €2.99.

    1. Ozumo

      Re: Discount Aisle/Cardboard Racking at the supermarket

      For gripping very small moles, obvs.

      1. Mage Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: gripping very small moles

        Curiously either Aldi or Lidl was selling Mole Traps in the UK. Sensibly not in the Irish stores.

        But oddly they were in the Northern Ireland stores. Even Unionist gardens don't have moles, at least not the furry kind underground. Other moles AKA grasses can end up underground.

        1. Cian_

          Re: gripping very small moles

          Have to be Lidl then, as for unexplained reasons there are no Aldi stores in Northern Ireland

  6. chivo243 Silver badge
    Devil

    Nude Photos!

    Yes, someone snapped a pic of me (I was less than a year old) just out of the bath, mom holding me, me reaching for the phone! All my glory hanging out for the world to see. My mom loved showing that photo to my g\fs

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Nude Photos!

      MY mum had a photo, taken by her dad in the 1920s, of her and her siblings, skinny-dipping in the lake at ages pre-teen. Tastefully done, no naughty bits showing, and nicely framed. She had it in the dining room, for a long while, then took it down when I was in my teens.

      I asked her why, and she mumbled something about people perhaps not understanding. It's up in my attic. I love it. Children caught in the act of being children.

      It's a shame what people have become, nowadays.

      1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

        Re: Nude Photos!

        Become?

        The Water Rats

      2. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Nude Photos!

        I was in Wales once, waiting on the seafront promenade to meet my father who was driving down for a day out. The beach was nearly deserted, and I had my camera out due to it having an excellent zoom function. I was there for quite a while.

        Then I heard a voice from down below screaming up at me "You pervert! Stop taking photos of my kids you nonce! I'll have you! I've called the police."

        I looked down and this woman was screaming up at me from the beach. There was about a mile of footprints in the wet sand leading back to two tiny pink dots near the water's edge.

        "Huh?" I said.

        "You heard. You're taking photos of my daughters in their cosies and when the police get here they'll have you and your camera!"

        "Ma'am", I said, "when the police get here I'll happily show them all the photos I took of the off-shore platforms that are under construction, which is what caught my eye, along with the service vessels that are building them. I'll be sure to point you out when they turn up so you can explain why you think there's only one thing to see at the seaside. If they can be bothered to spend 10 minutes walking out to speak to you and 10 minutes walking back that is. Sounds like a waste of their time, to be honest."

        Freak. Super protective, but happy to leave them on their own near the sea on mud and sand flats for half-an-hour whilst they went to shout at someone doing nothing more than enjoying the day.

        The only embarrassing thing I was doing was showing possibly too much interest in energy infrastructure.

        1. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

          Re: Nude Photos!

          "You pervert!"

          Soon Apple will have that sorted.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nude Photos!

      @chivo243

      Was this last week?

      "(I was less than a year old)"

      Ah missed that bit. My bad.

  7. taxman
    Childcatcher

    Blind Faith anyone?

    The Nivana album cover was pretty tame compared with the cover of that from Blind Faith. Another child sold for fame by her parents.

    And if you have a copy of said album it might be worth putting it in a brown paper bag in case you get snitched on for, ahem, child pornography!

    Impressive band line up though.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Re: Blind Faith anyone?

      See also the cover of "Virgin Killer" by the Scorpions...

    2. tiggity Silver badge

      Re: Blind Faith anyone?

      Remember that album being on display in my local public library... in public area that all users would walk past on ground floor (adult section on ground floor, kids section was upstairs)

      Back in the days when ..

      Most towns still had a library

      Vinyl LPs were available as items to borrow

      It was one I borrowed (for the music, no the cover)

      On the potentially offensive covers area (but not kids), also remember library had Technical Ecstasy (by Sabbath) & Electric Ladyland (Hendrix)

      1. Rich 11

        Re: Blind Faith anyone?

        Did they draw the line at the Sabbath Bloody Sabbath cover?

      2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: Electric Ladyland

        As that one was a double album it could be turned inside out.

    3. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Blind Faith anyone?

      Diamond Dogs?

  8. WonkoTheSane
    Facepalm

    Should've gone to Specsavers!

    It seems both chivo243 & taxman have completely failed to notice that the embedded video is by "Weird Al" Yankovic, NOT Kurt Kobain & Nirvana!

    1. KarMann Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Should've gone to Specsavers!

      Nonetheless, the article itself went into considerable discussion of the Nirvana original, which was the whole point of including the Weird Al parody. Do you just read The Reg for the pictures?

      1. X5-332960073452

        Re: Should've gone to Specsavers!

        That just makes me wonder, how do you read a picture? (as opposed to looking at one)

  9. IJD

    The Ballad of Lidl & Aldi...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL7jyXCQ2Zc

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Thank you - I was looking for that. A friend used to perform it in Redbourne.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I walked out of Netto once with a trumpet.

    I don't play the trumpet.

    1. Chris G

      But that particular bargain has presented you with the oppurtunity to learn, just as those sets of specialist screwdrivers create oppurtunities to dismantle equipment that previously would never have been touched.

      1. stiine Silver badge

        By 'touched' do you mean 'hopelessly broken'?

        1. Chris G

          Absolutely! The use of 'touched' here is in a similar class as a Brit describing a stark staring mad looney as 'He's a little touched'

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It is interesting how manufacturers put esoteric screw heads on perfectly repairable things.

        A Byron rechargeable wireless door chime needed standard AA Ni-Mh batteries. The compartment door screw required a hex 2mm Allen key.

        That was better than another of their models. It implied the rechargeable batteries were "3 AAA". After a few years the batteries needed replacing. Access was gained by forcing the case apart - when it transpired to need a modular battery pack. Eventually a module of the right spec was sourced - albeit for a totally different manufacturer's product. The new one came with a sensible two-pin connector. However the old battery pack was wired in - so a jury rig connector had to be fabricated to mate with the new battery.

  11. Erix

    "However, Spencer is now 30 years old and a bit pissed off that he didn't make any actual money from the photo shoot. His lawsuit labours not so much on this as the claim that he was a victim of sexual exploitation."

    What a dick move.

    1. Giles C Silver badge

      But he was happy to on never mind the buzzcocks (bbc music quiz) back in 2012.

      https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00yy6wg

    2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Especially given the number of recreations he has done for magazines over the years and the amount of z-list celeb work he has got from it

    3. Red Ted
      FAIL

      I see him…

      and raise Kim Phúc.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Embarrassing Photos

    for showing off embarrassing photos to family and strangers alike

    On a family holiday many moons ago in Great Yarmouth, when I was about seven, I had a photo took in a seaside photographer's shop holding a live monkey.

    I was shit scared of that monkey, because it was all bitey, though the photographer was expert enough not to catch the bitey parts of the whole affair. But my face wasn't, and it looked like a full-length mugshot of someone on the FBI's most wanted list.

    For some reason, we had about 20 copies of that bloody photo, and they came out every time someone came round.

    A favoured line was "which one is the monkey".

    I think I've managed to destroy all of them as time has gone by.

    1. Chris G

      Re: Embarrassing Photos

      It is almost certain at least one copy of the monkey pic still exists and will inexplicably show up at the most embarrassing moment.

      I too hated those bloody photographers monkeys, one on Hastings pier scratched my face and swung on my sister's long blond hair.

      That was in the fifties and I still dislike them!

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

        Re: Embarrassing Photos

        No monkeys involved - but I wandered into a bed and breakfast place in Goathland a couple of years ago, and discovered a picture of my mother and her sister aged eight or so hanging on the wall, taken when the place was a school to which they had been evacuated during WW2.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Embarrassing Photos

          That's a very cool story!

          Did you get a copy of it?

          1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

            Re: Embarrassing Photos

            As good a copy as I could at the time (mobile phone is a horrible platform for a camera). The B&B owner was kind enough to send me a scanned copy later, too.

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Embarrassing Photos

      Monkey? Richard Whitely would have seen your monkey and a still photographer and raised you a ferret on TV.

  13. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Those low costs things are not necessarily low quality ones. I'm quite happy with a couple of things bought at Lidl.

    But for a tool, no way to buy a low-quality discounted one, instead I want to hurt myself when it brakes at first use. For tools I use frequently, I generally invest in Facom ones. More expensive, but never have been disappointed. I never had to test the warranty without time limit yet.

    1. Dr_N
      Alert

      You buy French kit? Brave man.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Chris G

      Facom is excellent kit, my rolling tool box included up to 1" drive with an extended breaker bar that withstood a sound thrashing with a seven pound deadblow quite regularly.

      The box was so heavy I fitted a brake disc to the front axle.

      Lately Lidl seems to be going down the ' offer less for more' road, I assume the bean counters and MBAs have got their teeth into them, so offering quality at a moderate price is being replaced with maximising profits by corner cutting.

      Lidl also have a poor rep as an employer.

      1. tiggity Silver badge

        In the UK Lidl (& Aldi) better pay than the other "high street" supermarkets based on friends of mine who work in local supermarkets.

        All the supermarkets have a bad rep as employers, so if a wage slave in a shit job, may as well, go for the better paid one - discounters the best of a bad bunch in that aspect.

    3. MJI Silver badge

      In the UK Halfords tools are not bad value and have a guarantee.

  14. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    I remember one time there were a lot of compressed air tools which seemed to be quite slow to sell out. No compressors.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      That's because they sold out of the compressors very early on and never got any more in. But they had 10 times many of each accessory.

      The current item I've noticed sitting on the shelves for months on end is electric Churro makers. They just don't seem to be able to shift them, or maybe they just have an inexhaustible supply. Maybe they thought they would be popular with stay-at-home Brits pining for Spain?

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        One of the glories of going to The Fringe in my yoof was that every venue bar sold a different range of malts. I did fall asleep through one or...several productions, mind you.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          I was a regular visitor to our development office in a stately home in Dalkeith. One evening Tom Thompson took me round several of the town's bars for my first taste of various single malts.

          Tormore became my favourite - but only seemed to be sold in Scotland. Many years later - while changing trains in Glasgow - I bought a bottle at the station off-licence. The price did horrify me.

  16. Sam not the Viking Silver badge
    Facepalm

    USB Tat

    It must be some sort of clever microwave radiation beamed through the shop that makes us think "I have to buy that. I wonder why it is so cheap." Somehow, on purchasing these things, the beam phase-inverts and you think "What did I buy that for?"

    Simultaneously, you realise there is no chance of:

    1: Going for a refund (you can see the staff pointing already)

    2: Using it (you know it will break or won't work)

    3: Giving it away (the embarrassment)

    Your only hope is that no-one ever finds out and in the final accounting, you find you have four.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: USB Tat

      Havana Syndrome 2.0?

    2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: If...

      If these bargain shops were to do DIY Christmas Crackers they would make a fortune.

      Just put the unwanted stuff in each cracker and away you go. Christmas sorted. Not sure about that plate compactor though...

      ===

      Never seen these things in the Lidl's I've ever been in. There's hardly any room to socially distance. We must have Lidl Lidl's.

  17. ShadowSystems

    It's a rite of passage...

    Buying more than intended. My mom would send my dad out to buy "Just. These. Items!" and hand him a shopping list with 4 or 5 numbered items. Dad would be gone FAR too long & return with bags of groceries (which mom forgave) but also car suspension buckling loads of utter *crap*. "Honey, what part of ''Just These Items'' came across as a request to buy dog kibble? We. Don't. Own. A. Dog!" to which dad sheepishly announced that he'd brought home a puppy from a family giving up a litter for adoption just outside the store doors. I think mom's eyes nearly shot out of her skull over that one. The dog wasn't the only one sleeping in the (newly purchased) doghouse that night.

    I had to hold a hand up to my face so I could try to ignore the discount items display at our local grocery store, I'd be too tempted to spend my reserved-for-that-month's-rent money on useless tat too. "Hey look! A left handed screwdriver with a blinky light in the handle! GIMMIE!" style stupidity. I know I got it from my dad, mom would rather set fire to such a display rather than purchase anything from it. But then, show her the cookies & you'll have to drag her out with a team of eight Clydesdales while amputating her hands to release the packs of "iced molasses" cookies. *Amused sigh*

    You have my sympathies Dabbsy, we probably shouldn't be allowed to do the shopping at all some times. =-Jp

  18. CountCadaver Silver badge

    Cable Ties and powertools

    Lidl's cable ties are fantastic, strong, cheap and in various colours, ditto their velcro cable wraps. Unlike the blackspur ones I picked up in the Range which I could make fail by lightly tugging on them....

    LIDLs power tools look to be made by Einhell and ALDI seems to source from Scheppach for their bigger stuff (their aircompressor was scheppach rebranded, ditto their bandsaw)

    Don't really rate ALDI for most powertools, too many random battery types still appearing unlike LIDL that seems to have settled on one for the last couple of years (well 1 each for 12 and 18v) I keep being tempted but already settled on Milwaukee and Hitachi as battery platforms...don't really need a 3rd...

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Cable Ties and powertools

      Upvoted simply for the air compressor.

      For me £60 well spent, even if my car spray painting is poor compared to my model spray painting.

      (But then my budget air brush was £45)

      Not enough grunt though to run air tools for long, the best was the air ratchet.

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: air compressor

        Just a reminder that compressed air is not as benign as it seems.

        Pointed in the wrong direction it can kill or cause serious injury.

        1. Ian Johnston Silver badge

          Re: air compressor

          As Anton Chigurh knew well.

    2. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: Cable Ties and powertools

      Most of the tools lately seem to have been bought directly by LIDL themselves from Chinese manufacturers and the quality has taken a noticeable nose-dive.

      Aldi's not much better anymore. A friend recent bought a circular saw there. He now has 3. One of which more or less works (the last one they sent as a replacement), one of which is still a bit wonky but fixed with the application of some mild bodgery and one he managed to make work properly by taking parts from 2 of the broken ones and mashing them together. They didn't even want to take the bad units back for Q&A, he could just keep them and they sent a new unit by mail every time he made a claim.

  19. Mookster
    Megaphone

    Lidl, Lidl, let's go to Lidl, with food on the outside and shit in the middle..

  20. Tromos

    I often set out with the intention of just getting...

    ...the special offer tools, but find myself also weighed down with unplanned purchases such as cheese, pasta, fruit and ice cream.

  21. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Apple Store

    The one place you can't make an impulse purchase is the Apple Store. Nobody says "Oh look, there's a USB adapter going for €80, that'll make a great stocking filler."

    Dear Santa

    As I have been very good this year, please can I have an Apple Monitor stand for Christmas?

    Thank you very much

    Alistair

    1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: Apple Monitor stand for Christmas

      You must have gone to a very healthy school. We had milk monitors and yes there was a certain amount of standing around involved.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I love the middle of Lidl

    A perfectly adequate workmate for £20, surfboard shoes for a couple of quid, cookery stuff, various tools, grips, screws, car stuff, rucksacks....all fraction of amazon prices and never any issues with quality for the price.

    1. herman
      Paris Hilton

      Re: I love the middle of Lidl

      If tools are cheap enough then it doesn't matter if they break after the second use, but in general I haven't had cheap tools break on me - they just bend or deform a little and go out of true, which is much worse - since I cannot get myself to toss a worn/bent/wobbly tool away, I always think that I can fix it and still use it and then end up annoyed when the results are sub par...

      ==> Paris, since she is sub par...

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. Ian Johnston Silver badge

    Since the middle of Lidl and Aldi seem mainly designed to occupy stereotypical husbands while their stereotypical wives buy food, I generally refer to the ares as the "aisle of man", though I have also seen and appreciated the "aisle of wtf".

    1. Swarthy

      SWMBO calls it "The Isle of Shame" - and it's our favourite part of shopping at Lidl or Aldi.

  24. herman
    Devil

    Tools, tools, tools - never enough tools

    I just got back from Hornbach. I went looking for a frost proof garden hydrant and came home with a Makita saw, a dowel jig and drill bit depth stops. As for the hydrant - I'll try again tomorrow at Bauhaus and goodness knows which nice tools I will then come home with and there are still Merkury Market and Obi, to explore also. This is what happens when my SO decides to go on a hen's holiday in the mountains, leaving me unsupervised...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "And increasingly specific screwdriver sets supporting obscure screw types that no normal person would be aware of."

    Which are needed when someone presents you with a repairable thing that has such screw heads.

    It is known that I went to a UK Secondary Technical School (12-18) and worked in IT. It follows that I am assumed to have all necessary wood/metal working, plumbing, electrical/electronic, and IT skills (and materials). As well as more academic areas backed by my 2000 book library. If neighbours' kids have a school project then my door bell rings - usually the day before their submission deadline.

    The only thing I haven't been able to provide for a neighbour is a bolt cutter - when one had lost her bicycle lock key. I am sure I saw bolt cutters in Aldi once - must have been in a hurry that day.

    A neighbour recently asked** me to renovate her garden seat. Unfortunately the nuts on the slat bolts were rusted in place - and no room to get a hacksaw blade in. Hey presto! - the nut splitters bought in 1972 for a task on my 1956 86" LandRover.

    **The neighbours ask to borrow a tool - and it soon becomes obvious they have no idea how to do the job. Usually they send a kid to ask for "a screwdriver" or "a spanner" with no indication of what variety. Renovating the bench started as a request to borrow "a saw". Eventually the job required two types of saw, the nut-splitter, electric plane, electric sander, wood chisels, screwdrivers, rule, tri-square, and digital caliper. The latter was an impulse buy from Aldi and has proved invaluable on many occasions.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  26. Alistair Dabbs

    Nearly 100

    I note there are 98 comments at the moment. This comment I am typing will make it 99. Could somebody agree/disagree/call-me-a-fascist so we can make it a round 100, please?

    Much obliged.

    1. Dr_N
      Thumb Up

      Re: Nearly 100

      This is blatant post-count whoring.

  27. fpx
    Pint

    I also suffer from occasional impulse purchases. What saves me most of the time is asking myself, "where would I put it?" Given that all rooms and the basement are already full of stuff that I *might* need but never do. This question is most effective with kitchen utilities. Yeah, a rice steamer would be nice to have, but the kitchen ist just too damn full already!

    Ok, so I wrote this comment with little to say just to be no. 100. Although I'm sure that others are writing comments at the same time so that I'll end up #105.

  28. bob_a_builder2

    Hardly anybody's impulse purchase !

    A while back strolling thru an Aldi I came across one of their weekly specials which made me chuckle - Wheelbarrow Wheels - there must have been 30 or 40 of them - does anyone know anyone ever who has worn out their wheelbarrrows wheel ? - Quite an atypical Aldi product - low value yet took up significant space - not boxed either so a nightmare to stack in the aisle -

    1. Sam not the Viking Silver badge

      Re: Hardly anybody's impulse purchase !

      I suspect you have never needed to obtain a spare inner-tube for a wheelbarrow wheel. They are difficult to source, expensive unlike the wheel, complete with tube and tyre.

      Even if you have no garden and live high in a multi-story, I suggest you get a few in stock. You never know you will need one.

      Must dash, I'm off to Aldi. Thanks for the tip.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hardly anybody's impulse purchase !

        My wheelbarrow tyre and tube had split from standing in one position with a load for months. It proved impossible to find a replacement complete wheel. Eventually bought a tyre and tube of the same size as fitted to the wheelbarrow. Unfortunately my hub was slightly bigger than the original tyre size suggested - being 8" rather than 6". A long struggle to get the tyre and tube onto the hub. In the end much brute force and levering was required - not as easy as a YouTube video had shown with a 6" hub.

  29. Blackjack Silver badge

    I have two shopping styles, one when I go to the close Supermarket, a place I don't like, were I shop at the speed of "I need to use the toilet soon" and the other when I go to the supermarket I like , but that is freaking far away, were I take a long time looking to see if there is something in discount I may want because is really far away and I don't go there a lot

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