back to article Not a baaa-d idea: Embracing the eunuch lifestyle slows ageing – for sheep anyway

If you're a gentleman looking to counteract the effects of ageing, a new study on sheep may have the answer – but you're going to have to say goodbye to your family jewels in return for a slowdown of your DNA's ageing process. "Both farmers and scientists have known for some time that castrated male sheep live on average much …

  1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Unhappy

    El Reg disavows any responsibility...

    Oh bollocks! Now you tell me!

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: El Reg disavows any responsibility...

      If you did what I think you did, I admire your courage. Seriously, it must have taken some balls.

      1. Little Mouse

        Re: El Reg disavows any responsibility...

        I found the whole thing hard to swallow.

        1. BebopWeBop
          Facepalm

          Re: El Reg disavows any responsibility...

          Ahh - the 'Praire Oysters' defence

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Facepalm

            Re: El Reg disavows any responsibility...

            I can understand Stone Age man eating raw oysters but Stone Headed man eating Prairie Oysters is beyond me.

  2. Little Mouse

    How about...?

    Does a vasectomy at age 43 count?

    Just askin'.

    1. Allan George Dyer
      Alert

      Re: How about...?

      Well... they are linking the effect to mail hormones, so, no. A vasectomy cuts and ties the vasa deferentia, so the testes are unaffected, and still happily produce testosterone. You'd need to give up your balls, and probably your sex drive, to get the ageing benefit.

      1. Allan George Dyer
        Coat

        Re: How about...?

        Which reminds me of the old joke...

        If you don't drink, don't smoke and don't mess around with women, you don't live longer, it just feels like it.

      2. S4qFBxkFFg

        Re: How about...?

        "mail hormones"

        I remember, in those terrible times before adblockers, seeing adverts for those all over the www.

        1. Ken G Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: How about...?

          Does IBM need HRT instead of HCL?

        2. Allan George Dyer

          Re: How about...?

          mea culpa

  3. ShadowSystems

    What a ba-aa-aa-ad article!

    Ewe should know that we hate it when you try to pull the wool over our eyes, so ramming your love of Unix down our throats is just in poor taste. You shouldn't go out on a lamb, chop it off early & we might tallow you to keep posting these attrocious puns. I swear, I've not herd such flocking punnery as what I read in these threads!

    *Dodges the shears & runs for the hills*

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: What a ba-aa-aa-ad article!

      Let's do what one shepherd said to the other shepherd ..... and get the flock out of here!

    2. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: What a ba-aa-aa-ad article!

      Kiwis invented the condom using sheeps' lower intestines.

      Aussies improved on the invention by taking the intestine out if the sheep.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Humm...

    Interesting, I would whether these boffins have spoken to the fairly underground "nullo" community about this and ask about their health. For those who don't know, these are a small group of predominately gay men who have voluntarily completely castrated themselves, so they have a completely flat pair of underpants.

    Anon, because I don't want you becoming blind and monkish by this.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: Humm...

      Dear. God.

      1. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: Humm...

        Which deity would you prefer, Sir?

        1. W.S.Gosset

          Re: Humm...

          There used to be a Russian religious sect which achieved closeness to God by lopping off every vestige of (male) sexual organs. And making a point of doing it badly, so that all they had between their legs was scar tissue.

    2. UdoGoetz

      $$$

      All of these mutilations of healthy bodies make a nice profit for the Medical Industrial Complex.

    3. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Humm...

      I have a vague memory that castrati used to have long lives. However, they usually had a fairly privileged life as well.

      1. Richard 12 Silver badge

        Re: Humm...

        Yes, teasing out the effects of decent food and low-risk labour from sharp, hot scissors is a difficult one.

    4. hoola Silver badge

      Re: Humm...

      One would assume the same would apply for those that have gone done the mail->female trans-gender process.

      As far as I know all the essential bits that make up a male are lopped off.

      Maybe they are just not old enough yet. That is the problem with these sorts of studies, humans just live too long for a quick result.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Clarkson's Farm

    Anyone who's seen Clarkson's Farm now knows that sheep nads are taken off by the application of a rubber band soon after birth.

    Given the current state of the world this mayn't be a bad idea to apply more generally.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Clarkson's Farm

      This does not, however, extend their lives. It just leads to a quick trip to the - err - knacker's yard.

    2. Ken G Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Clarkson's Farm

      I think it would improve Amazon Prime programming immensely but I'm not sure he'd go for it.

    3. UdoGoetz

      Re: Clarkson's Farm

      You go first and we have at least one problem less.

    4. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: Clarkson's Farm

      To Clarkson?

    5. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: Clarkson's Farm

      "Given the current state of the world this mayn't be a bad idea to apply more generally." When the YN published Agenda 21 the likes of Clarkson termed it an infringement of human rights, socialist/commie globalisation etc. and now the same people are bleating about the problems it was solving. Maybe they didn't like the idea of educating females and helping bloody natives!.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There you go, Incels!

    Chop, chop!!!

  7. Chris G

    I wonder if the boffins have taken into consideration the frequency and annual range of tupping in domestic sheep breeds? Typically sheep are bred in the autumn as shortening of daylight is one of the main triggers to oestrus in ewes, so sheep only get their oats for a short period each year.

    Wild breeds often breed according to not only seasonal daylight but conditions such as drought or temperature.

  8. chivo243 Silver badge
    Coat

    Why does Mel Brooks spring to mind?

    Eunuchs? Sexy dances... I can't think of it, must be lost in history...

  9. EricB123 Bronze badge

    No Knives Are Used in Sheep Modification

    I lived in Idaho once, and had a few sheep in the back of my property (for tax purposes, I could do without the forthcoming jokes). No one in his right mind would castrate a sheep with a knife, that could easily lead to an infection. A glorified rubber band around the scrotum does the trick safely.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: No Knives Are Used in Sheep Modification

      "had a few sheep in the back of my property"

      Did they have to go in via the rear entrance?

      " I could do without the forthcoming jokes"

      Ah. Soz.

  10. Sirius Lee

    Correlation is not causation

    Anyone who has been on a sheep farm (or watched The Yorkshire Vet TV series) will know that farmers have to limit the amount of time a tup (ram) spends in field of ewes because the tup will keep servicing the ewes to the point of exhaustion, dehydration and starvation. So, with rams, yes this research is probably valid, maybe even rabbits but does it really have anything to say about humans? Even teenagers like to take time out to eat and drink.

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