back to article ‘Fasten your seat belts, raise your tray table, and disconnect your Bluetooth headsets from the entertainment unit’

US-based mega-airline United Airlines has announced it will purchase 200 new planes — a mixture of Boeing 737 Max and Airbus A320 Neos — and equip the lot with in-seat Bluetooth. United has promised its new fleet will boast “the industry’s fastest available in-flight WiFi that lets customers stream video from online services …

  1. Really Anonymous Coward

    Bluetooth for at seat entertainment is going to be interesting with 200 people pairing all at once - how will they make sure people pair their own device to their own seat?!

    1. JetSetJim

      They will, for a small fee, lend you a pre-paired set of headphones?

      1. john.jones.name
        Holmes

        qantas never crash

        Qantas gave up on in seat entertainment

        they simply equip users who want a screen with a managed iPad and wired headphones

        people who already have an iPad/android/windows simply can connect to the Wifi and download the entertainment app

        everything is an app...

        the App simply is a HTML interface to the onboard server which can stream movies or audio (podcasts)

        basically like a netflix in the sky

        WTF are United Airlines thinking ?

        1. Dale 3

          Re: qantas never crash

          I hope the seat in front at least has something the iPad can slot into. On the one hand having it loose gives more options to avoid glare from the neighbour's window, but on the other hand I wouldn't want to have to hold it up for three hours straight given the cramped space available. And where to put it when the "food" comes?

          1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
            Happy

            Re: qantas never crash

            Perhaps, watch the food and eat the iPad?

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Use NFC: you hold the headphones up to some kind of tag. Lots of headsets have been doing this for years.

      1. User McUser

        If only it were that easy.

        Obligatory XKCD comic - https://xkcd.com/2055/

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Still ain't going if it's a Boeing

    1. seven of five

      Only in a Boeing you can be going

      like there will be no tomorrow.

  3. Potemkine! Silver badge

    This order of A321Neo is the death warrant for the Boeing NMA.

    PS1: The information I have is United Airlines ordering 270 planes, 200 737 MAX and 70 A321 Neo

    PS2: No MAX for me, thank you!

    1. Chris G

      Just make sure if you fly Max not make it the same week you give up smoking, glue sniffing, amphetamines etc, although having good blutooth cans and watching a good movie may improve your experience towards the end of the flight.

      1. elsergiovolador Silver badge

        Would you not want to knock at the heaven's door completely clean though?

      2. Evil Scot
        Pint

        Surely you cant be serious...

        1. Ochib

          I am and don't call me Shirley

          1. DJ

            Roger...

  4. the Jim bloke
    Alert

    the evil that is the american airline industry

    by guaranteeing a slot in an overhead bin for every passenger. ®

    how much extra do you have to pay, to get to travel in a seat?

  5. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
    Mushroom

    F**k bluetooth for the in-flight entertainment. In fact, f**k in-flight entertainment: Just give me a few more inches leg room.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      F**k bluetooth for the in-flight entertainment.

      and popcorn, gimme popcorn, price equivalent of gold popcorn.

      ...

      soon, to fly undisturbed, you'll have to wear an all-embracing helmet to muffle the outside world and supply your own, popcorn-free oxygene. Or rather: forced to rent it from the airline. But hey, need to pay to save this planet, you know!

      1. Snow Hill Island

        Re: F**k bluetooth for the in-flight entertainment.

        "popcorn-free oxygene"

        I had no idea there was a mashup with a BBC Radiophonic workshop tune.... My copy is already popcorn free.

  6. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Fly the unfriendly skies

    IIRC United were one of the last hold outs of central aisle-mounted TV screens and those horrible rubber-tube pneumatic headsets. They were also one of the first to charge for any alcohol, even the plastic mini wine bottles, on transatlantic flights. I stopped flying with them years ago, and won't be back.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    endorsement of its post-pandemic resilience

    plain English: people can't wait to shit on this planet EVEN MORE!

  8. T. F. M. Reader

    Something to look forward to

    Good to see a major airline being bullish on the prospects of renewed travels. I am especially looking forward to enhanced in-flight entertainment, what with every Tom, Dick, and Karen pairing their personal smartphones to the screens and/or to the entertainment system at large, quite possibly to the screens / earbuds of other seats on the plane, and then disembarking without wiping all the synched contacts, intimate WhatsApp chats, nude photos...

    Hilarity will ensue...

    1. DS999 Silver badge

      Re: Something to look forward to

      Why would it have to sync anything with a person's smartphone? It is just acting like an internet router and at most a place to share your screen. You don't need to sync photos for that, you don't need to sync contacts for that, so why would it support doing so?

      You'd probably need to plug in and treat the display as HDMI, there's no way you could have a planeload of people trying to wirelessly share their display and expect it to work at all.

      Seems more likely we'd see United make a deal with someone like Disney or Paramount to have them as the exclusive streaming option on their in flight system for "free", with ads. Then people wouldn't even use their phone at all, just their bluetooth headset / earphones. Might not even really be streaming, you could cram a lot of Disney's streaming catalog onto a single hard drive.

      1. wub

        Re: Something to look forward to

        >You don't need to sync photos for that...

        Yeah, that's why the photo gallery app that I can't uninstall from my phone won't work unless I allow it access to my Contacts, Calendar and network status. Needless to say, I don't use that one. Just to display an image file stored locally?

        I agree with the comment that this is almost entirely in service of advertising. And I'm certain they are going to do far more probing of your connected device than any of us would be comfortable with.

        1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          Re: Something to look forward to

          And I'm certain they are going to do far more probing of your connected device than any of us would be comfortable with.

          In that case I see a multimillion dollar fine looming up (GDPR). It takes only one EU-citizen or EU-resident passenger complaining for a serious investigation.

      2. T. F. M. Reader

        Re: Something to look forward to

        @DS999: "... why would it support doing so?"

        Oh, no good reason at all. You are describing a very reasonable proposition. But no one has promised you that reality will remain reasonable.

        I suspect people will find a way, and even if not then some competitive airline will offer passengers to view and listen to whatever content they have on their phones through the entertainment system, play their favourite games, etc., etc.

        And it will all go down the slippery hill from that moment on.

  9. Mike Lewis

    They can buy as many new planes as they like

    I still won't fly with them. For the last four years, I've been counting good and bad news stories about airlines and they are right down at the bottom of my list at -89. Personal experience confirms that.

    1. Cynical Pie

      Re: They can buy as many new planes as they like

      Same, thats why our family trip to LA next year is being done a) via Calgary and b) at increased cost just to avoid flying United.

      As a bonus going the way we are we also get Premium Economy rather then bog standard... so better legroom and extra baggage allowance for all the tat my offspring will want to bring home

  10. elsergiovolador Silver badge

    Unconscious

    Given the low quality of entertainment that is being produced, they might as well give out sedatives, so that you will wake up upon landing.

    And in case Boeing 737 MAX, when the flight won't go according to plan, you won't know.

  11. Yet Another Hierachial Anonynmous Coward

    United inflight entertainment

    Just make sure you don't let them handle your guitar.....

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo

    (true story)

  12. My other car WAS an IAV Stryker
    Thumb Down

    Bluetooth? Thank you, no.

    Long story short, I'll stick with my wired headphones thankyouverymuch. I travel with both the "good" ones for music (better passive isolation and sound reproduction) and the smaller "dry" ones for actual phone calls (better noise isolation on the mic even though the "good" ones have a mic also).

    Now, offer me a seat with a built-in charging cable, with a guarantee it's power only and won't harvest my data, and I'll be willing to buy a splitter again to use that.

    1. jtaylor

      Re: Bluetooth? Thank you, no.

      How are wired headphones superior in this situation? They're just devices that pair over bluetooth and exchange an ID, right? It's not like my personal data is involved.

      Totally agree about that power-only USB cable, btw. You should pack one for travel. Don't plug an untrusted device into your phone or tablet.

  13. JacobZ
    Facepalm

    10 inches of screen?

    So 10 inches of screen room and 8 inches of legroom.

    1. DJ
      Coat

      Re: 10 inches of screen?

      8 inches?!

      Very funny.

      For an extra fee, you won't have the person in front of you sitting on your lap.

      Mine's the one with the D.B. Cooper edition parachute in the pocket...

  14. Dave559 Silver badge

    "plans to give ’em ten inches of entertainment"

    Oh, behave!

    If there wasn't an airline-based Carry On film, there really should have been: "Carry On, Cleared for Landing", "Carry On in the Cockpit"…?

  15. RobThBay

    by guaranteeing a slot in an overhead bin for every passenger...

    Sounds like they're getting rid of the seats.

    Will there be different size bins for big vs small passengers or are they using a one size fits all scheme?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Ooh, NEO

    I seem to recall that the 737 MAX had some issues.

    But now has an A321 Neo.

    It's a new number and it's called Neo. What could possibly go wrong?

    1. legless82

      Re: Ooh, NEO

      It's not a new number though. The A321's been around for the best part of 30 years now.

  17. Sherrie Ludwig

    Give me six inches more legroom, keep the screen and I'll bring a book.

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