An actress, an internet billionaire, and Tom Cruise walk into a space station ... not necessarily at the same time

Internet clothing mogul Yusaku Maezawa on Thursday said he and an assistant will take a 12-day trip to the International Space Station in December. And Russia's space agency said actress Yulia Peresild and film director Klim Shipenko will blast off to the orbiting platform in early October. Incredibly, Tom Cruise and director …

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Cruise Control!

...given that the SpaceX flights are fully automated

[Chris G]

Anyone care to predict when the first porno in space is made?

Though how they will organise the pizza delivery is beyond me.

[Khaptain]

With no gravity to provide resistance it must be a really interesting experience..

[Ken G]

Yes, a special magnetic base and matching electric pizza wheel are needed.

[Anonymous Coward]

Dibs on "Bungee Banging" as the title...

[Anonymous Coward]

In space no one can hear you cream?

[Anonymous Coward]

It'll never happen. The astronaut training centrifuge will end up with silicone all over it.

[Anonymous Coward]

December 28th 1973

[Anonymous Coward]

Presumed reference to the Skylab strike?

[ravenviz]

Have you never seen Flesh Gordon?

[Anonymous Coward]

Nothing there...

Surely there's something better to use the ISS for?

This is even worse than the crappy Mars copter.

[bombastic bob]

Re: Nothing there...

maybe we could send up a few "hotel" modules with piano lounges, restaurants, fully stocked bars, and other typical guest accommodations.

Space tea, space coffee, and space croissants at 7 AM, every day for the interplanetary breakfast bar.

And every lounge with a "stellar" view of the, er, stars.

[Wexford]

Re: Nothing there...

7am comes around every ~93 minutes on the ISS. That's a lot of croissants.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Nothing there...

Surprisingly large number of people are happier to see it run as a kind of upmarket B&B than a scientific research establishment..

[Anonymous Coward]

Tom Cruise

Will no doubt insist on being strapped to the outside of the rocket with nothing but goggles on.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Tom Cruise

I'd want at least a jock strap as well...

[The Oncoming Scorn]

Re: Tom Cruise

That's no way to talk about Simon Pegg*.

*Yes I know hes not Scottish.

[Little Mouse]

Re: Tom Cruise

"strapped to the outside"? Pfah!

The real Tom Cruise would hang on with just his bare hands, and hold his breath until they dock.

[I ain't Spartacus]

I'm very disappointed

How could the Russians let us down so badly!

If you're going to send an actress into space, the other person should surely be a bishop.

As in, "that's a might big rocket, said the actress to the..." Well, I'm sure you get it - and yes I'm getting my coat.

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Re: I'm very disappointed

...if their visit coincides with that of Cruise, isn't he very high up in the Church of Scientology to warrant him being sort of a "bishop"?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I'm very disappointed

Don't bash him

[paul10]

Pizza from space

You can't do without pizza!

A solution will certainly be found.

The idea of a special magnetic base is a good one!

But you also need a good pizza chef.

Good luck and ....... bon appetit!

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: Pizza from space

The US military have a pizza option in their field rations. It's heat in the bag with a three year shelf-life. What more could you ask for?

[Down not across]

Re: Pizza from space

A pizza.

[PerlyKing]

Re: a good pizza chef

I don't think you can make real pizza in microgravity. Not with that part where you throw it up in the air to stretch the base....

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: a good pizza chef

It's the act of spinning it that stretches is. If you can spin it sufficiently fast, some of the dough moves to the edges and stretches the rest - you've created your own "gravity". Just like the space station in 2001.

Can we make a pizza large enough for astronauts to both live on, and eat? We'd have to site it close enough to the Sun to cook it, but the astronauts could live in a shelter made of pineapple.

[AndrueC]

An Englishman, an Irish man and a Scotsman walked into a bar..

They weren't badly bruised but the building site foreman had to fill out an H&S incident form.

[nojava]

ISS is a bit old.

Time for a new Space Station.

The old one should be turned into a Hotel and Tourist attraction like the Queen Mary now parked at my birth place.

The ISS will probably get more traffic than the QM does.

[Little Mouse]

Re: ISS is a bit old.

But beware the Vermicious Knids!

[ShortLegs]

Re: ISS is a bit old.

+1 for Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator...