OK, so we don't have a flying car yet, but this is possibly even better: The Internet of Beer

Forget all those interminable IoT gadgets gathering dust in the drawers of the world. Brewers may soon be able to breathe easier after signing up to what we're going to call the Internet of Beer. The keg-tracking tech has arrived as the UK's publicans have been given the green light to open up their outdoor spaces and brewers …

[Anonymous Coward]

empty keg value

So if you buy a keg, the price also includes a deposit on the keg itself, which you get back when you return the empty one.

Kegs are sometimes the source of beer at underage parties held in remote outdoor locations. According to and old college roommate, the sheriffs near his hometown had a unique way to deal with breaking up underage parties: shoot the keg. Literally, they'd use their sidearm to blast a hole in the keg.

I suppose they couldn't just leave it there, and siezing it was more trouble than it's worth. Shooting it means nobody can sneak back to drink, plus the lawbreakers lose their deposit.

[Version 1.0]

Re: empty keg value

So you imply that the police do not enforce the law, they are the law - that's why they shoot people in the US.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: empty keg value

I'm implying nothing, I'm simply relating the story and speculating as to the reasoning of the officers.

You may be inferring that I'm condoning or endorsing the actions, that's dependent upon your reading of the post.

[onemark03]

... the police do not enforce the law, they are the law.

That's exactly what they do believe ("The law is what I say it is.").

Some of them even believe that they're both.

That's what's wrong with the idea of city police forces in the US.

A more viable alternative would be a single, radically reorganised state police force along German lines. But it'll never happen.

But I digress.

[xyz]

Re: empty keg value

American beer kegs are black?? Who knew.

[chivo243]

I grew up in a college town

Drunken frat boys would throw the kegs in the yard of Animal House, we picked a few. Once at the liquor store, we needed a name... Just mentioned the 3 letter frat... profit! End of an era!

[DarkwavePunk]

Re: I grew up in a college town

I'm not entirely sure how far I could throw a standard (for some values thereof) British pub empty beer keg/barrel. My guess is "not very far".

[chivo243]

Re: I grew up in a college town

You would be surprised, we used to have the "keg toss" contest after it was empty, before the sheriff shot it full of holes! A friend to tipped the scales at about 270lbs always won! My best just missed my foot!

[chivo243]

Re: I grew up in a college town

They would toss them off the balcony... should have clarified that.

[Doctor Syntax]

I remember an outfit that was stealing them and melting them down for scrap. I don't think the tracker would help with that. The cheeky bit was that the forensic lab started out as a wing of an industrial lab and they were bringing the ingots in to the industrial side to get an analysis to show when they were sold on.

[Paul Kinsler]

OK, so we don't have a flying car yet ...

As I looked out of the window today, at the bright cloudless skies of London, it occurred to me that some part of the Future *was* here. After all, a little way down river, in the vicinity of Tilbury, this was true:

“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

That is, bright blue :-)

[TRT]

Re: OK, so we don't have a flying car yet ...

Did it have diagnostic data written in the clouds? Oops. They’ve run The Matrix on Windows again.

[Red Ted]

That’s one big battery

I suspect you have read too much in to the “10 year battery life” and the 2min tracking mentioned on their web site. To marry those two up is going to take one big battery!

Also given the way I have seen publicans handle the barrels they have paid for, never mind the handling they will get by the people stealing them, it needs to be quite a robust package!

[Timbo]

Re: That’s one big battery

...not only that, but the barrels I've seen in the UK are metal (aluminium?) which no doubts makes for a very good Faraday cage...

So, one assumes the "tracking device" must be external to the main metal barrel and perhaps could be easily identified (and hence the thieves could choose to nick a different non-trackable barrel) or they could be armed with a "lump hammer" to bash the "tracking" section and make off with it anyways.

OTOH, the maker(s) of the barrels could use a more "cost effective" solution and just put a large label on it saying "GPS Tracker Installed" and hope that this puts off the "crims" and they select something else to nick?

[Alan Brown]

Re: That’s one big battery

the "people in question" have gps jammers in their vehicles.... you know who they are (and yes, they're stealing them for the scrap metal value)

[Intractable Potsherd]

Re: That’s one big battery

Is that a thinly veiled maintenance of the "evil Travellers" trope?

[Intractable Potsherd]

Re: That’s one big battery

Hey - what am I supposed to think? There's a reference to "know[ing] who they are" and scrap metal, both of which tend to be code for Travellers.

[MarkSitkowski]

Re: That’s one big battery

Unless the body of the keg was the antenna?

[Gene Cash]

IoT?

Internet of Taps?

[Anonymous Coward]

10-year battery

Stick a couple of electrodes into the beer—no battery needed. Well, maybe a small one to last while the keg is empty.

[John H Woods]

When I was helping the Mrs run a pub ...

... back in pre-pandemic times, I noticed many of the kegs did have tracking devices of some sort on them already. Anyone know how that technology worked?

[David 132]

Re: When I was helping the Mrs run a pub ...

Maybe just RFID for in-brewery inventory tracking?

[TRT]

Re: When I was helping the Mrs run a pub ...

RFID tags can be quite small. I expect these are a bit lager.

[David 132]

Re: When I was helping the Mrs run a pub ...

But not too big, they still have to be porterble.

And yes, I did see what you did there. And you should be ashamed of yourself.

[TRT]

Re: When I was helping the Mrs run a pub ...

I thought it was quite mild really. Hope it hasn't made any stout fellows bitter!

[Pete 2]

Dreams dashed

And here was me hoping that an Internet of Beer would, after all these years, actually turn out to be a "series of tubes"

Just imagine 10 mega pints a second to the home.

[David 132]

Re: Dreams dashed

10 mega-pints a second?

You lightweight. What are you, teetotal?

[jake]

Re: Dreams dashed

Ten megapints per second would be a trifle more than my bottling line can handle. Besides, I'm not greedy ... I'd be perfectly happy with ten millipints per second, assuming it was 24/7.

[John Brown (no body)]

"The device and software provide real time location, temperature, humidity, tilt,"

Tilt? Does that mean "Game Over Maaan!" if that happens?

[David 132]

Re: "The device and software provide real time location, temperature, humidity, tilt,"

I wondered about that too. I can only imagine it’s to help detect when a keg has been shaken too much...?

[TRT]

Nice

Now apply the same to catalytic converters.

[Lusty]

IoB

I wrote a presentation about Internet of beer once for a pub and restaurant chain. The loss of barrels is a very low value part of what this could do. Improvement in beer quality and creating a community around beer was the primary goal. Just like the fetishisation of coffee the extra info about origin and treatment would drive interest. The ability to show new beers arriving at a pub can lead to events for beer lovers and tracking cellar conditions against beer quality would allow patrons to choose when best to enjoy their pint.

[Anonymous Coward]

English beer in kegs

Simple, they should just use infra-red to track the heat signature.

Anon 4 this comment...

[Anonymous Coward]

Tilt...

Measurement ill be for casks not kegs, kegs contain pressurised muck, real ale is delivered in casks, which are laid on their side and tilted as the beer is drawn down. that's why casks are fatter in the middle, where as kegs are straight walled. You can however use a "caskwidge" which allows you to draw from an upright cask.

Even 10 years ago the industry had moved to stainless casks and kegs to avoid the aluminium thefts by Intractable Potsherd's friends. Stereotypes, by definition, are created by reason.