back to article Delayed, overbudget and broken. Of course Microsoft's finest would be found in NASA's Orion

Getting astronauts to the Moon or Mars is the least of NASA's problems. Persuading Microsoft Windows not to fall over along the way is apparently a far greater challenge. Spotted by Register reader Scott during a visit to the otherwise excellent Space Center Houston, there is something all too real lurking within the mock-up …

  1. gerryg

    Slide Rule

    It's no problem. Just channel your inner Neil Armstrong and bring your slide rule.

    1. ClockworkOwl
      Angel

      Re: Slide Rule

      And back that up with trig and log table tattoos...

      1. harmjschoonhoven
        Thumb Up

        Re: Slide Rule

        You do not need a tatoo to remember 10log2=0.3010 and 10log3=0.4771 and from that you can calculate everything.

        BTW, the astronauts of the Apollo project used an (upgraded) HP-25 programmable pocket calculator. I used it many years to fill my annual tax form.

    2. Bill Gray

      Re: Slide Rule

      At 56, I'm about as young as you can be and still have used a slide rule. I have a couple, plus a few books of log and trig tables from my teenage years, on a shelf near my computer. I keep meaning to put them in a glass-fronted case with a hammer and a sign : "Break Glass in Case of Power Failure."

      1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Slide Rule

        might be fun at work to steal the caculators and replace them with a book of log/trig tables......

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Slide Rule

        You're probably right. I'm 51, and only saw my dad's and he showed me how it worked, but I never USED one.

      3. jake Silver badge

        Re: Slide Rule

        I still use an abacus and slide rules on a daily basis :-)

        The abacus in the feed barn is used to calculate nutritional requirements for the various critters (more modern calculators don't last more than a couple weeks in that environment). And I use my[1] old Sun[2] Engineering slide rule for back-of-the envelope calculations (decking needs, fencing, roofing, DG, roadbase, beam loads, and the like), and I have a circular slide rule in each of the aircraft.

        [1]My Dad's, actually, it helped get him his Electrical Engineering Masters at Berkeley in the '50s. Helped me with mine a couple decades later.

        [2] No, not that Sun! This Sun: http://sliderulemuseum.com/Hemmi/S071_Hemmi_255.jpg

    3. swm

      Re: Slide Rule

      When I taught "history of computing" I made everyone use log tables and slide rules. I only posed simple problems (What is 2 X 3) but everyone got a working slide rule (courtesy of xeroxing a circular slide rule image on a transparency and a piece of paper and a push pin so the two could rotate). I also handed out complete 5-place log tables (generated by a C++ program).

      It was really an easy class - I just wanted people to get a feel about how things were done 60-70 years ago.

  2. 0laf
    Terminator

    I can see it now, heroic astronauts on the dark side of the moon trying to reach the environmental control console to turn on the O2 (moved for the 563th by MS, now nested 14 layers down in the "Breathing console" of the new "Comfort" section) only to get....."unable to contact licensing server".

    1. Paul Herber Silver badge

      What do you want Oxygen for? Oxygen's for losers!

      1. David 132 Silver badge
        Go

        Confidence, what did you do with Paranoia?

    2. Dr Scrum Master
      Headmaster

      Given that the dark side is often facing the Earth, presumably you mean the far side.

      1. John Robson Silver badge

        Dark has always been a description our understanding, not the luminosity.

        In the same way the dark ages weren't characterised by the sun being extinguished, but the (relative) lack of historical record.

        1. Fungus Bob
          Devil

          And the (relative) abundance of Spanish Inquisitions.

          1. John Robson Silver badge
            Trollface

            I could never have expected that comment...

      2. jake Silver badge

        "There is no dark side of the moon, really. Matter of fact, it's all dark. The only thing that makes it look light is the sun." —Gerry O'Driscoll

    3. Lon24
      Coat

      Avoiding activation issues is easy - go with MS's greatest - Win 2000. Maybe NASA could persuade Redmond to produce a customised 2001 edition for the next lunar flight.

      I'm the one sporting a 5.75" floppy in my spacesuit ...

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
        Coat

        Well that's not going to fit, is it?

        https://www.floppydisk.com/5point25

      2. swm

        Or 8" floppy.

        1. very angry man

          I've had an 8 inch floppy for some time now, and on the 4th floor windows ain't going to help at all.

        2. hnwombat

          Pfft. Newfangled contraptions prone to failure. Install a card or tape reader for real reliability.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Jacques Custard already discovered the consequences in 2000

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvgqiDAXefg

  3. ClockworkOwl
    Facepalm

    Wrong documentation?

    It's clearly not read "Windows for Dummies" yet...

  4. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    Agreed that sending a space mission out with Windows on their computers (and other devices) is asking for trouble.

    Linux (and other *nix derivatives are the answer) as these will not hog the bandwidth, and can be modified to suit the mission.

    Of course, the lowest common denominator for all of the Operating Systems in the world (galaxy?) is any of the following : a dead CPU, faulty RAM or a self-scrambling storage device.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Facepalm

      On the ship's computers, definitely a Linux OS.

      But, unfortunately, Linux support of touchscreen tablets is still iffy.

      Unless you count Android as a *nix derivative in which case your bandwidth problems will go through the roof and they can only be modified to support Google.

      1. Caver_Dave Silver badge
        Boffin

        And I can assure you that everything crawling on Mars, almost everything orbiting it, and most stuff down here that really needs to work is running VxWorks!

  5. Blofeld's Cat
    Coat

    Er ...

    "Open the pod bay doors please, Cortana"

    "I'm sorry Dave, but you should have read the EULA more carefully ..."

  6. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Windows for Spaceships ?

    As far as I can see, the notion of Windows in space is stillborn. DOA.

    Windows is an OS that cannot function properly without a regular connection to the mothership (pun intended). On top of that, if ever have to reinstall a PC on the other side of the Moon, Windows Activation is going to be a right nightmare.

    Don't go telling me that you can install a Windows Activation Server or other such nonsense. It is not a solution, it is nothing but a Band-Aid.

    Linux is the only OS that deserves going to space. It's modularity and frugality are legendary, and it does not phone home.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

      >Linux is the only OS that deserves going to space

      VxWorks and QNX would like a word with you

      1. Bitsminer Silver badge

        Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

        ...and OpenBSD, FreeBSD, NetBSD...

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

      Linux is the only OS that deserves going to space.

      You want to trust your life support to systemd?

      1. Steve Foster
        Facepalm

        Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

        I'd be happy to trust Lennart Poettering's life support to systemd...

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

        I don't know about your version of Linux, but my version of Linux doesn't come with the systemd-cancer.

    3. swm

      Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

      I remember the first Jovian satellite designed by JPL. They said that the radiation was 10 times what they expected and that the radiation kept flipping bits in the active registers in the computers. This caused the computers to be slower. They did not fail because of robust design!

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

        JPL designed Callisto? Who knew.

    4. FrankAlphaXII

      Re: Windows for Spaceships ?

      I find your lack of knowledge disturbing.

      Do some research. You'll find there's very little of the Toy OS variety involved with anything important in Spaceflight. No Linux, No Windows, no macOS. Its mostly (like nearly all) purpose built RTOS like VxWorks.

  7. fidodogbreath

    And let's face it, "Houston, we've had a Blue Screen of Death" just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

    Not so sure about that. Depending on what spacecraft systems are running on the Windows box, it could literally be a Blue Screen of Death.

  8. hittitezombie

    Senate Launch System is not going anywhere

    It's OK, Orion will never make into space on top of an SLS so the world is safe from the windows crashing.

  9. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Windows

    Fortunately, the tablet in question is only a part of a mock up which appears to have been built for PR purposes. An assignment was probably handed to an intern to put together a PowerPoint type slide show. And they go with what they know.

  10. chrisw67

    It is all relative...

    By the time the SLS puts Orion into space the current versions of Windows will look every bit as old as the one being displayed by Mannequin Skywalker... and be just as creatively broken.

  11. Unicornpiss
    Flame

    Deal breaker

    I would love to be one of the first colonist on Mars, but if any Microsoft software was involved in mission-critical systems, you couldn't get me near the spacecraft.

  12. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    What I wanna know is...

    What Time Zone do they set up? ...and do they tick the Daylight Saving box?

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: What I wanna know is...

      They maintain Coordinated Universal Time (UTC +0). Roughly, the same as Iceland. No, that's not the same as GMT ... they don't use so-called "daylight savings" time (which should be taken out behind the barn and shot as the perverse, ugly, feel-good bullshit that it is).

      1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: They maintain Coordinated Universal Time (UTC +0)

        Thanks Jake.

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