Being The IT Guy
In the late 90s/early 00s, I was known as 'the IT guy' at my squash club, and did a lot of fixes for people there.
One time, someone asked me to go and have a look at their sons' computer, which had stopped working. It was a very old Pentium machine from one of those pop-up builder/seller outlets you used to get back then (they usually only lasted a few years before going out of business).
It was dead. So after the usual basic checks, I replaced the PSU - and you remember how under-powered THEY were to keep costs down - with one of my spares, and it fired up. It took about 20 minutes to boot up and become usable, and once I'd managed to overcome the wiggly tentacles of the Undersea Theme people insisted on having, and all the other flashy animated customisations, a quick scan showed it to be infested with various spyware and malware. The kids, who were the only users, had also installed that bloody BonziBuddy thing (spyware in itself), and so underpowered was the machine for what it was being asked to do, as BonziBuddy leapt around the screen (in slow motion), he left a trail of unerased sprites everywhere.
As 'an IT guy' - as opposed to being THE GENUINE IT guy - my favoured solution in these cases was to ask if there was anything they wanted to keep - there never was - and then do a complete format/reinstall, so they effectively had a new computer. They readily agreed to this.
So, after several hours, I left them with their 'new' machine, all working fine, connected to the printer, nice new AV software, and warned the kids not to install things they didn't need or mess needlessly with the settings, because the machine wasn't powerful enough for it.
A week later, I got a call from one of the kids (they were young teenagers), who informed me they were having trouble printing and it had all gone slow again.
I went round, and had to wait 20 minutes while he finished 'printing off his homework' (it was the entire and unedited Wikipedia page about Shakespeare). Once it finished, BonziBuddy again started slowly bounding across the screen as a continuous smudge!
I slapped my hand to my forehead, and said 'What did I bloody tell you? This machine is too old for all that crap, and it doesn't help you with anything anyway.'
After restoring a clean image, they didn't do it again after I had a word with their parents.