Microsoft celebrates undead MS Paint with festive knitwear

Microsoft has once again unleashed some iffy knitwear on the world with an MS Paint-themed sweater to ring in the festive season. The company previously flung Windows XP and 95 incarnations at its favoured fans (we note Vulture Central has remained jumper-free) but the MS Paint version is the first to be sold to the general …

[wolfetone]

I prefer the £7.99 branded Lidl christmas jumper really.

[Dwarf]

@wolftone

The big question - will you still fit into the Lidl jumper after Christmas or will you need a bigger one ?

[MiguelC]

To match with your $ 9 999,00 Lidl branded sneakers?

[Dave K]

Packaging

I presume there'll be a couple of dead flies and possibly a cockroach included in the packaging? After all, it wouldn't be a true Microsoft product without a few unexpected bugs.

Maybe also make the neck holes square as well so that they look "more modern".

IGMC...

[Steve Davies 3]

Re: cockroach

A live one naturally. After all, they can survive a load of radiation so a bit of MS wool (being pulled over their eyes) will be child play won't it?

[Sgt_Oddball]

Re: Packaging

No, surely it'd be moths. Bugs busy making holes in the product over time.

[logicalextreme]

Re: Packaging

I was going to make a remark about "unexpected bugs" in a Microsoft product till I saw the icon.

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

GirlsWhoCode

Not wishing to question fluid gender identities in a post #me2 era but ....

The gentlemen at the back might be in the wrong photo shoot

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: GirlsWhoCode

Don't worry about him - he ticks the "Ethnic" box, so is excused.

[needmorehare]

Re: GirlsWhoCode

Perhaps he had his PE excuse in hand and it worked a little too well...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: GirlsWhoCode

Aha! There was me wondering what was up with the 'tache on that lassie.

[BrownishMonstr]

Re: GirlsWhoCode

One has to ask what sexual assault/harassment has to do with gender fluidity.

But, yes, why. Maybe his penis was too long so, as per NTFS and FAT32, had to be cut and stored elsewhere (for, er, backwards compatibility*).

*ahem. Gives a whole new meaning to backwards compatibility.

[logicalextreme]

Re: GirlsWhoCode

Huh. Imagine having to sit through a defrag just as things had gotten spicy.

"I swear it's never happened before! Honestly, it's usually ext4 but I had too much to drink and reformatted…no, don't go!"

[chivo243]

Just stop

There is already too much crappy clothing out there... it all takes lots of resources, what a waste.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Just stop

There is already too much crappy clothing Microsoft software out there... it all takes lots of resources, what a waste.

I agree. I think that's proven by the fact that they want to remove mspaint, but keep the .NET/overly-bloated other thing (Photo 3D or something... nobody cares). Then again, maybe they need room to install yet another .NET runtime.

[logicalextreme]

Re: Just stop

No .NET runtimes needed anymore! Just half a gig of DLLs bundled with the executable.

[RM Myers]

$69.99 seems to be a reasonable amount

to pay to be allowed to not wear the sweater.

What? That's the amount to be allowed to wear the ugly sweater? Ah, well, ah, I'll pass.

[Howard Sway]

with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

Far be it from me to suggest that this may be the only size required for this demographic.

Talking of demo graphics, why isn't there a service available yet where you can do your own custom design on a simple Paint style grid and have it auto knitted for you on a machine? This would be easy : after all punched cards were originally developed for the Jacqard loom and subsequently made their way into the computer industry by way of Babbage.

I'd get an Ada Lovelace / Charles Babbage one done and out-geek the lot of you.

[Robert Carnegie]

Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

Searched for (computer design sweater)

I think this is one:

https://www.wildemasche.com/en/Design-a-knitted-sweater/

Other cases design the *shape* of a sweater. Apparently. Do they actually have shapes?

[BrownishMonstr]

Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

MS paint has lost functionality when the ribbon was introduced, replaced with stuff for amateurs. Yes the application was for amateurs, but you were able to do quite a bit with it, like setting the page colour.

[logicalextreme]

Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

To be fair, it's now great for what I mostly use it for — cropping and saving. It's even been defaulting to lossless PNG for a while rather than BMP, or JPEG at the "mutilation" quality setting.

[tiggity]

Re: with only sizes for the larger fanboi available

The software and hardware used for high volume commercial knitwear manufacture is impressive (obv the design is sent down digitally, no cards needed), but they will typically be decent sized product runs.

It would be easy for such services to be offered, but whether or not its worth their while is a different matter altogether.

A lot of domestic flat bed knitting machines still use punch cards though, as do some of the low end more low volume production commercial focused machines.

[Andy Miller]

Dumpster?

I don't know about a dumpster, I'm seeing Terry Jones as the nude organist from Monty Python.....

[Sequin]

Gogh is pronounced like 'khokh', not "go"