Welcome back
We've missed you (13th March.....really?...)
My private parts are private, for sure, but I never thought about giving them a passcode. But it appears in fact you can slam your whole todger into its own private trouser vault that can be opened only by your partner's smartphone. Not so much block-and-tackle as lock-and-tackle. Who'd have thought the hackneyed line "There's …
Ah, Mr Dabbs, we've [not] been expecting you [back]
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I'm pretty much isolating so haven't bothered to get one yet but I seen some 3d printed mask frames that do the job and hold the mask away from your mouth and nose making breathing far easier - you inhale through most of the mask rather than just the bit that isn't sucked onto your face.
I hope the company gets sued, as face masks are designed to stop surgeons/nurses, and the rest of humankind from spluttering their diseases onto everyone else. They are not suitable as a defence against infection. A Cellmate is probably far more useful in that respect, especially if worn on the outside of your trousers, as it will be almost like wearing a "Make America Great Again" baseball cap, for the effect of keeping people several metres away from you.
And welcome back Dabbsy. You have been sorely missed. For the first time in a long while, I can truly state the weekend has officially begun.
I think I've seen professionals wearing their mask with tape across the edge to make it closer to airtight. Not all the way or you can't breathe at all obvs.
They may have been professional actors in "Holby City" or something but I'm counting it.
As for the intriguingly named "Cellmate" product, I read that the problem is overstated, you just need to pop the end off with a screwdriver. (Do not throw it away, you may want to re-attach it.)
I thought the whole thing was a joke - then I followed the link.
Dear. God.
They actually made a todger tackle. And made it to be unlockable by an app. Meaning connected to the Internet, no less. There might be a bit of fun to be had there, for a bored blackhat tired of blackmailing companies and hospitals with ransomware.
Funny, I guess nobody is going to go all high and virtuous about the use of the word 'slave' on that page.
Polycarbonate proving difficult? This https://www.theplasticshop.co.uk/plastic_technical_data_sheets/chemical_resistance_guide_polycarbonate_sheet.pdf has a useful looking table of possible solvents and non-solvents although all the possibles seem even less attractive than the problem.
Somehow the whole story reminds me of a reported episode from student days when a particularly obnoxious denizen of halls was pounced on by several others after a party and treated with contact adhesive (who had that handy, I wonder; was there really glue-sniffing going on in those far-off days?). Subsequently taken to the local hospital and greeted by the doctor with "Christ, is this some new perversion?".
I was going to say that Dido Harding is probably playing CEO Simulator, then I discovered that there really is a game called that:
"Please enter the name of your new company":
"TalkTalk"
"Sorry, you lost all your customer's data, your customers all left and you no longer have any operating income. Congratulations on receiving a massive pay rise and payoff"
From the gameplay video it looks like they're preparing NHS staff for post-privatisation healthcare.
Like everybody else, very pleased to read you again. Have one (on expenses).
those who post inspirational quotes or virtue-signalling tales of how fantastic their working lives are.
That's it, we must be connected you and I. Now I don't troll them (at least not using my official account) as you never know who might hire you in the future, but these make me cringe, they're almost on par with the smurfs who keep informing you on Faecebook how wonderful the BA VIP lounge at Heathrow is (insert your favorite airline and trendy airport). With pictures of the complimentary cocktail and awesome snacks.
Where is the "love" icon ?
"a graphic designer who realised she could skip queues for COVID-19 tests and avoid enforced quarantine when travelling abroad simply by Photoshopping her own laboratory reports with 'Negative' marked at the bottom."
That is not the story. The story is about Frenchies living on La Réunion and being refused on their booked flights home, because the overwhelmed labs are too late sending test results. They are only allowed to fly with a test result max 72 hours old and get results four, five, sometimes seven days after the swab.
So while I still don't condone falsifying medical test results, this is not people going on holidays and not wanting to quarantaine, or wanting to skip queues, this is people not being able to return home because of failing laboratories.
I loved your trolling on LinkedIn about the guy happy to find a kid willing to work for free. You make LinkedIn a fun place to visit, at last. LinkedIn is way too syrupy, tasting like a cake made of sugar only. It's good to see some social distortion there ^^
I know that lots of Reg readers have their Web browsers set up to block ads, vids, JavaScript, electrons etc so I want to be sure you are aware that my closing music video this week is a charity single, raising money for health workers.
I am not asking you to contribute - God knows, I'm sick of being asked to give money - but I recommend you watch the YouTube vid so that YouTube might give them money. You can buy the song at The Mission's website and the money goes to the charities etc yadda but don't do this unless it's the best song cover you've heard all week.
Just so you know, it's like Band Aid (it even begins with Midge Ure) but everyone else on the song is 80s-alt-rock-new-wave. Even Kirk Brandon's on it and I thought he was dead.
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"LinkedIn Tourettes"
This very much made me laugh. Self-aggrandizing twats are pretty much standard on LinkedIn but they are particularly vocal at the moment. It just makes me think of Kevin Bridges and his new idea for a celebrity chat show called "Did Ye, Aye?" NSFW.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBLGy0kStjs