Given the ISS is a space station, the first beauty product I'd stock would be the M41A1 Pulse Rifle. Looks beautiful, after all.
Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of 'Advanced Night Repair' skin cream helping NASA to commercialise space
Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of "Advanced Night Repair" skin serum and the suitable-for-zero-G “CosmoSkin” cosmetics-in-space project. No, The Register has not set its calendars to April 1st – this stuff is real. Cosmetics house Estée Lauder last Friday announced that “the brand’s iconic Advanced Night …
COMMENTS
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Monday 21st September 2020 10:30 GMT DJO
Re: Who wouldn't
Not sure about that story line but I did notice in the Starship Troopers documentaries no mention was made of the combat beauticians and hairdressers.
No matter how bad the battle, the lady warriors would emerge while sometimes tastefully dirty but always perfectly made up with pristine hair. The only logical explanation is they have teams of heroic make-up artists who work under fire.
.... Would you like to Know More?.....
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Monday 21st September 2020 08:32 GMT Glen 1
Re: Time to hit the retros
Its the disposable income of the gullible that is ultimately paying for the trip.
While I'd prefer the commercialisation to be a high-tech thing, if NASA can reduce their costs through sponsorship, I can only see a problem if it starts interrupting/interfering with the space work.
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Monday 21st September 2020 09:16 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Time to hit the retros
While I'd prefer the commercialisation to be a high-tech thing, if NASA can reduce their costs through sponsorship, I can only see a problem if it starts interrupting/interfering with the space work.
There is an high price to be paid for this sort of sponsorship. Space travel doesn't seem nearly so exciting when it is just another advertising vehicle, especially as it becomes beholden to those sponsors.
Memo from the management - you can't do X because it will piss Y off and they might reduce their marketing spend with us, but if you do Z instead then it will showcase further sponsorship opportunities for other commercial partners. And we really need that money now more than ever because the Government has already cut our budget because of what we are getting through sponsorship.
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Monday 21st September 2020 10:13 GMT Glen 1
Re: Time to hit the retros
That would come under the heading of "interfering with the space work".
Think of it as a sports sponsorship. You know the team, you know the game. Having a sponsor try to interfere with the game will piss off a lot of potential customers.
"you can't do X because it will piss Y off ... Government has already cut our budget "
Governments/space agencies have their own objectives separate from the commercial sector. If they actually want to get stuff done, they have to pay for it. Contributions from sponsors are greatly appreciated, thanks, but if an advertiser pulling funding jeopardises an actual mission, was the mission viable in the first place?
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Monday 21st September 2020 08:51 GMT jake
Re: Time to hit the retros
Concur.
My 105 year young Great Aunt takes great care to explain to all the young ladies in the family that they have been advertising crap like that for longer than she has been alive, and yet somehow her friends who use and swear by the stuff have always been ugly as sin ...
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Monday 21st September 2020 13:08 GMT Kubla Cant
Re: Time to hit the retros
Its the disposable income of the gullible that is ultimately paying for the trip.
While I'd prefer the commercialisation to be a high-tech thing, if NASA can reduce their costs through sponsorship, I can only see a problem if it starts interrupting/interfering with the space work.
Sadly, it's actually the disposable income of NASA that is bankrolling this absurd venture.
According to New Scientist (paywalled, unfortunately), NASA is paying more than $70,000 to ship each kilogram of supplies to the ISS, but is charging $10,000/kg for commercial payloads like this. So it's a loss-leader to the tune of $60,000/kg.
The other commercial payload planned is "luxury goods and memorabilia" such as a “Flown to the ISS” sticker for €199, a bookmark for €299 or a postcard featuring a classic NASA photo for €499. I don't know which is the most ludicrous.
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Monday 21st September 2020 08:27 GMT Detective Emil
Smoother and less lined?
Sounds like just the thing for sealing that tricky leak in the ISS' skin that has yet to be tracked down.
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Monday 21st September 2020 09:07 GMT jake
Re: Smoother and less lined?
One wonders if they have talked to Aeroseal about Aerobarrier ... Worked wonders on a friend's leaky Victorian farmhouse. During the morning installation, they put a piece of screen over a 4" dryer vent hole. The screen was completely plugged by their product. Cleanup was minimal, and we continued working in the house that afternoon. Recommended.
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Monday 21st September 2020 12:07 GMT Dave 126
'Greasy coloured slime' is foundation, which yes, most women look better without. If a woman does look better with it, it will be because she has applied it so judiciously that no-one can tell she is wearing it.
The cream in the article is night cream, which is designed to moisturise the skin at night, when appearance is largely a non-issue.
Then there is day creme, which is can be made non-greasy and, depending upon the woman's complexion, contain UV blockers.
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Monday 21st September 2020 12:00 GMT Dave 126
If you want to remain younger looking for longer, the main thing to avoid is UV light, especially for those of us with paler skin. A hat is a good idea, since it also protects against rain (okay, rain is more of an issue in the UK than on the ISS). Failing that, moisterisers with sun blockers do work.
How does this translate to the environment on board the ISS? I don't know - I'm assuming that the portholes may block some UV light (so as not to degrade equipment on board, if for no other reason), I'm assuming that basking in the naked sunlight isn't the done thing. There are of course ionising particles in orbit that no face cream (or skin!) can block.
Overly dry air can be an irritant (again, I don't know the situation on board the ISS), and using some lip salve can be a boon to comfort.
Ultimately, if you want to stay young looking, avoid a prolonged stay in orbit. However, when it comes to attracting a mate I suspect that honestly claiming you are an astronaut will bear you in better stabding than a perfect complexion.
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Monday 21st September 2020 12:10 GMT Anonymous Coward
Once the glamour shots are done...
Will we be finding out how Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Synchronized Multi-Recovery Complex with “Chronolux™ Power Signal Technology” survives re-entry? At $186 for a 100 ml bottle, it seems to me that you should be able to slather it on your heat shield and your ship should look better upon recovery than it did at takeoff!
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Monday 21st September 2020 12:57 GMT Glen 1
Re: Once the glamour shots are done...
Oh No! The wrinkly panels are there so they can freely expand and contract under thermal changes.
"The heat would have caused a smooth skin to split or curl, whereas the corrugated skin could expand vertically and horizontally and had increased longitudinal strength."
IGMC
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Monday 21st September 2020 13:13 GMT Anonymous Coward
Gwyneth must be weeping
"Advanced Night Repair Synchronised Multi-Recovery Complex will launch into space"
and
“Chronolux™ Power Signal Technology".
Sorry Gwyneth. You have been totally annihilated in the bullshitspeak world.
Your only comeback (in my nonbullshitspeak world) is to straddle the space station and hump the fucking thing. But please make sure you don't scratch the paintwork with the rocks, gems or whatever bullshit that you have shoved up your twat.
Cheers… Ishy
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Monday 21st September 2020 14:53 GMT Mike 137
"Advanced Night Repair Synchronized Multi-Recovery Complex" with "Power Signal Technology", and “deep- and fast-penetrating hydrating serum” .
Baloney supported by brilliant marketing. I'm surprised (although maybe not as surprised as that) at NASA falling for it. It wouldn't have in their Saturn days.
There's a delightful essay in The Wine of Life & Other Essays on Societies, Energy, & Living Things by Harold Morowitz (St. Martin's Press, 1979) in which he roundly debunks "protein enriched" shampoo. Well worth reading if you feel inclined to believe in "fast-penetrating hydrating serum", particularly as Morowitz had a long consulting association with NASA.
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Monday 21st September 2020 16:46 GMT jmch
Real applications?
Given that one of the hazards of deep space travel is how solar radiation could affect the human body, perhaps a cream that helps the skin repair itself very quickly could actually be a useful, practical application?
Given how expensive stuff is that's specifically developed for space, $180/100ml isn't even that much.
That's assuming it works as advertised of course
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Monday 21st September 2020 19:08 GMT Hurn
Atmospheric Contaminant?
It would seem that the ISS, like (nuclear powered submarines) should be worried about atmospheric contaminants.
The CO2 scrubber (and CO-H2 burner, on a sub) can only remove so many compounds (especially volatile organics), many of the rest are "scrubbed" from the air by human lungs (which are almost as good as activated charcoal, assuming the humans are later able to breath "clean" air and hack up the crud).
One hopes the skin cream has a minimum of scent / volatile organics, and that no one has a bad reaction (asthma? allergy?)
Who's the next customer to foul the ISS air?
A tobacco company, with zero g vape pens (quite the engineering challenge)?
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Tuesday 22nd September 2020 13:51 GMT Prst. V.Jeltz
"NASA likes the idea, saying it demonstrates its newfound openness to commercial opportunities."
Give us some money and we'll whore ourselves out jump on board with your pseudo science bullshit , shitting over our reputation as scientists.
After all , Garnier has some of the finest Laboratoires in the world
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdHFmc9oiKY