It looks like you want a storage appliance for your data centre. Maybe you'd prefer a smart card reader? Welcome to another in The Register's series of computers behaving badly. Today's instalment is a little different to the usual run of blue, and may reassure those concerned that the machines will one day rule the world. Sent in by Register reader Dave S, this bit of borkage comes from the department of "you recommend what?" …
I wanted a new heavy duty face guard for when I'm using my table saw, big angle-grinder or chainsawing down trees. Narrowed my search to the DIY and tools section but was offered page after page of cheap nasty PPE medical visors. Totally useless, but you can see what Amazon are shifting at the moment. I'll wait until I can get a proper one from B&Q or Wickes.
>but was offered page after page of cheap nasty PPE medical visors. Totally useless,
Yea, the irony being that your 'table saw, big angle-grinder or chainsawing down trees' really matters.
On the other hand, who gives a toss what useless crap doctors, nurses, paramedics, cleaners etc. are forced to use. Lucky their crap is really cheap, since they're having to pay for it themselves. Even stranger times.
And back towards topic: Amazon search has always been useless. It's impossible to search out the 'slightly better quality' from the dross.
No, no, no.
The LI algorithms are working exactly as intended.
Since you didn't get the job you applied for, it has determined you can't be suitable for any other similar jobs. It therefore filters them out and only shows you completely unrelated jobs.
Obvious really.
But yes, I agree, the Amazon search functionality is dire.
Amazon search has always been crap but together the marketplace and sponsored results have made it almost useless thanks to click bait descriptions (don't describe what it isn't) and questionable sponsoring of terms.
A couple of months ago I searched for "ball pein hammer" on Amazon. Got a couple of novels back in the sponsored results... Daddy's Little Angel and Stepbrother with Benefits. I think you can imagine the genre. Although I did wonder who would pay to place those in a search for hammers.
eBay is as almost as bad. Maybe three hits and then an almost unnoticeably small caption introducing items with fewer words followed by a list from the wild blue yonder. Or an equally overlookable intro to ads from international vendors when you've specifically clicked UK only because you don't want to wait for whatever it was to arrive on a slow boat from China.
Are they different hits? If so, they're probably beating Amazon. My searches often go like this:
Enter search terms: Random things that don't match what I was looking for because the descriptions specify what something has but not what it can do.
Retry search terms: Some actual results pop up. Well, three things. These must be three very good things because they each appear at least four times in the results list. Sometimes this is because there are four different colors and the sellers don't understand how to use the item color selector on one product page. Sometimes, they seem to be identical including identical prices and I have no clue why they're listed multiple times. The rest of the list consists of sponsored unrelated things and refurbished items, which often are not very desirable for many of the things one might want to buy online. Often, the three possible results are all overpriced, which leads to
Sort by price: I think that, for every possible set of search terms, someone has made a product to show up first on a sorted price list. The most frequent tend to be cases or straps. If it's electronics, it can at times be components, but never the kind of component you want to have extras of. Even when there's no real need for a case for something, somebody has made one and published it on Amazon. I don't know if anyone ever buys them, but I wouldn't recommend it as I have no proof the case will actually fit the thing it's being advertised for, assuming they actually tried to advertise for a specific product rather than a class of products. So I realize that I'm just going to have to use the price filter until I am at the lower end of possible prices and see what those look like, which leads to
Price filter: I don't know what Amazon's frontend office looks like, but I know it must have someone there (I imagine it as two laughing interns) whose job it is to monitor my searches and make sure there is never a price filter option on the page when it would be useful. I've seen it on other searches where I didn't need it, but for some reason it will disappear off the page from time to time, and that always happens when I've reached sufficient frustration. I try to find the set of parameters I can append to the query string to put a filter in place, and if I can remember it, it tends to work, but often I give up around now and go elsewhere.
"Sometimes this is because there are four different colors and the sellers don't understand how to use the item color selector on one product page."
Oh, they understand exactly how to use it.
Just like they understand "listed only once" vs "listed a half dozen times".
Just to head off the Americans pointing out the 'error', sorry, "error", as I was about to do myself, 'pein' is the British spelling, "peen" the American. I thought the apparent typo might have influenced the results, but it's not a typo after all, but it's still possible that its closer resemblance to another word from that genre could have influenced the suggested items, typo or not.
I wanted a new heavy duty face guard for when I'm using my table saw, big angle-grinder or chainsawing down trees.
There's a story about the late President Reagan and protective equipment. Whilst still president he was on his ranch enjoying a few days of holiday. He announced he was going to do some work in the woods and his head of detail, a couple of other secret service agents and the Whitehouse photographer went off with him and his tools. He'd used his chainsaw, an axe etc. with no problem and they headed back to the house. Head of detail says to the photographer he must have got some good images of the President. Photographer says yes but can't use any of them as Reagan wasn't wearing the correct protective equipment.
Photographer says yes but can't use any of them as Reagan wasn't wearing the correct protective equipment.
When I was on the editorial team for a festival newsletter we had exactly the same issue. Someone would say, "I've got a great picture of X doing Y!" We'd immediately reject it due to incorrect PPE, bad working practice, etc.
It was the opposite of that when we lived in France, the DIY programmes on TV there often had presenters covered head to toe in muck and dust from using power saws, angle grinders, ripping down old ceilings etc and no masks, eye protection etc. A total disregard for personal safety; I've seen some really gung-ho use of chainsaws too with no respect for what damage they can do to flesh within a split second.
Farmer neighbour (I live very rural in the boggy end of Brittany [*]). He offered to chop our wood down to size as the stuff we'd sawn up (by hand) was still too long.
He arrived with a large chainsaw, no protective gear whatsoever, and flip flops. He then stood on top of the logs and swung the saw down between his legs.
He managed to cut them, quite nicely too, so we thanked him, gave him a bottle of red, and accepted that as a practical demonstration of how never to use a chainsaw.
My god.
It was nearly twenty years ago and I still shudder thinking about it.
* - That doesn't narrow it down! ;)
I'm a Contract PM who manages a variety of projects including technical infrastructure projects. I've also managed a number of projects starting or transforming service desks.
I do include the architecture stack I've worked with in my CV but there is no claim to be a technical consultant. Probably half the enquiries I get about availability are about technical consultancy roles, and 10% are for service desk agent.
The local labor government in Victoria has a ad up at the train stations with the typical "we are sorry for the delays" while patting themselves on the back for spending our money. There are 4 people in the picture of "rail construction" and 3 of them are doing things that should get them kicked off a worksite. The other one is just standing around looking like a supervisor.
Long ago, when mail order catalogues were a thing, my mum ran a Grattan's agency. One of her friends at work ordered a keep net for her husband's birthday present; an ideal choice for the guy, seeing as he was a keen angler.
Anyhow, the package arrived, with a note saying the exact model was out of stock but they'd substituted it with a similar item of comparable quality. Mum's friend took it home, gave it to husband, who, without opening the thing, took it on his next fishing trip with his mates. Got to the bank side, unpacked his tackle, opened the box and took out his brand new... air rifle. Oops.
Before anyone doubts this, back in the 1960s, mail order catalogues very definitely sold air rifles, pistols, and even - upon seeing the appropriate certificates - shotguns.
"We've contacted TigerDirect to find out just how in blue blazes this is a replacement for that. As Dave drily observed: "I hadn't realised the two items were so similar."'
Then, you're out of league for working in BUSD companies' IT procurement dept from previous employers, I'm afraid.
They've proposed me quite similar "better deals" :)
Anon, do I need to explain why ?
Amazon have some weird suggestions; I recently bought a new cordless drill and under their heading "Customers who bought that item also bought" and suggested a salacious novel. The mind boggles.
I expect there was plenty of "drilling" going on in that novel, if you catch my meaning. (wink wink, nudge nudge}
Searching for Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Prime didn't have it (at least, not in France) so rather than you dare to wander over to Netflix, they offered two alternatives that might be of interest:
1. The Goldbergs (season 2)
2. Natural Born Killers
Italicised bold because... what the actual fuck? Did they watch the same Ferris Bueller that I did way back when (with the cheesy as hell Chicago Parade dance routine), or did I somehow miss an 18 rated version where the sister blows away Principal Rooney at the end?
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