That's not a comet...
...It's an invasion fleet. They know we've seen them and are now splitting up to flank us.
Stargazers hoping to glimpse a comet close to Earth next month are in for a disappointment: it fell apart en route. The comet C/2019 Y4, commonly referred to as ATLAS after its discovery by the Asteroid Terrestrial-impact Last Alert System in Hawaii, broke off into as many as 30 shards – each one the size of a house – judging …
About all we could agree on was that milk in the teapot was an abomination and anyone who thinks otherwise should be carefully examined in padded rooms whilst wearing fetching straight jackets.
No, just par for the course.
Just when we think an asteroid might come and make some adjustments to the housing market (by removing large amounts of houses) it just fizzles out into tiny* chunks like a disappointing snowball that dissolves upon impact rather than having a satisfactory thunk from the ice core inside.
* tiny on a cosmic scale.. Also depends upon the measure of a house. Any Register measurements bureau standards for a house?
"The real invasion fleet is coming sneakily from behind the sun."
You may jest, but most "previously unknown" earth-grazing vistors do EXACTLY that and are only seen once they've gone past us.
Something to do with being very small and grey-to-black, against a very large, very bright object more or less directly behind them....
It's mostly due to everyone leaving their lights on at night, when we were kids you could see an entire sky full of stars, even the milky way almost every cloudless night. But nowadays there so much light that you can only see the moon and Venus most nights, occasionally a few other objects delivering Internet service. It's hard to even see the meteor storms most years - I haven't see a meteor in 20 years since I spent a few days camping in the middle of nowhere on the Mexican side of Rio Grande.
April 6th - Trump signs executive order establishing U.S. policy on the exploitation of off-Earth resources, a couple of weeks later a comet breaks up. I expect an immediate launch of Space Force (now in Supermarionation) armed with picks and shovels. Got to mine it before the Mytsterons get it.
It was just minding it's own business out in the peace and calm of the Kuiper Belt when some bloody great object came along and knocked it off course ever so slightly. Slowly but surely, at an ever increasing rate, it approached the maelstrom known as the inner solar system. It was just rocks in a big ball of ice, sort pf like a hot fudge sundae. But don't worry, it'll miss us. Then it started to break up, the parts diverging from their original course. This year, Hot Fudge Sundae falls on a Tuesdae.
(Sorry if I messed up Larrys story)