From Amanda Holden to petrol-filled water guns: It has been a weird week for 5G

Amanda Holden is not an epidemiologist. She holds no degree in electrical engineering or physics. Her time is spent judging the (often self-contradictory) Britain's Got Talent, or sitting next to Phil Schofield on the couch of This Morning, where she earned notoriety by asking Brit astronaut Tim Peake if he stole any moon rocks …

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

conspiracy

I'm beginning to think that my other source of real news Newsthump is true.

All these conspiracy posts are part of a government plot to track down and identify idiots.

What's not clear is why. Possibly for future cabinet posts, or to build up a strategic moron reserve

[BebopWeBop]

Re: conspiracy

Morons to the Left of them, Morons to the left,] of them, Morons in front of them Volleyed and thundered etc etc etc

[Mark 85]

Re: conspiracy

You forgot morons to the Right of them. There's morons everywhere including the rear. Regards to Tennyson.

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: conspiracy

It's for the sake of efficiency. Don't waste NHS resources on treating them when they go down with COVID-19.

[Evil Auditor]

Re: conspiracy

All these conspiracy posts are part of a government plot to track down and identify idiots.

What an encouraging thought! But do you seriously trust the government to draft and execute such an elaborate plot?

[DJV]

"But do you seriously trust the government to draft and execute such an elaborate plot?"

Well, as we have a government filled with morons and complete idiots, I think they're doing a splendid job!

[MJI]

Re: "But do you seriously trust the government to draft and execute such an elaborate plot?"

She makes Raaaab appear bright.

[logicalextreme]

Re: conspiracy

Oh darling, you simply must check out The Onion — they know what a semicolon is!

[TheRealRoland]

So many comments possible on this story...

- monty python's 'She's a witch' while have a 5G mast on the scale

- can we do Woody Harrelson next? He's showing similar confuddlement

- or how about Dr. Naomi Wolf

[macjules]

"Hey look everyone, I just burned down a 5g mast!"

"WTF, why can't I post this on social media?"

"It's a conspiracy - they have shut off my mobile coverage!"

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually very close. Around here some stupid person started a campaign to block a new street mast in their road back in the 4g days. The picture of the demo showed a load of women + kids holding mobile phones. They were worried about the radiation from the mast affecting their children.

The problem they were having was that their phones were not working in that location, and they didn't know why.

[Doctor Syntax]

The radiation was affecting their children. Not the radiation itself but the garbage it was carrying.

[Boothy]

Quote: "Hey look everyone, I just burned down a 5g mast!"

"WTF, why can't I post this on social media?"

"It's a conspiracy - they have shut off my mobile coverage!"

That's probably why it took them the hour mentioned. before they could upload the video!

[tip pc]

Nut jobs

They probably get to call mum and dad uncle and aunt.

[TimMaher]

Re: Nut jobs

Hence the old joke “Get off me uncle dad. You’re crushin’ ma smokes.” Spoken in a deeply rural accent.

Let’s hope the roz nick the arsonists and put them in a cell with somebody harbouring a nasty cough.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Nut jobs

Destroying, attempting to destroy or inciting to destroy national infrastructure during a time of national crisis is terrorism, plain and simple. If people can be charged with being in possession of articles likely to be useful in terrorism, then we can charge people encouraging burning down 5G masts and lock them up for potentially a very long time.

[96percentchimp]

Re: Nut jobs

Then they'll become martyrs to stupidity, and if there's one thing stupid people love, it's a martyr.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Nut jobs

Oh, but then you introduce the concept of "accountability" ! That was deprecated about a century ago.

[John 73]

Who'd have thought

It's all of a piece with the "people have had enough of experts" nonsense. It's no surprise that, when those who are supposed to lead us instead start deliberately destroying the beliefs and institutions that sustain our society, people point their new non-expert opinions at all sorts of random targets.

[ThomH]

Re: Who'd have thought

I've spent a lot of time trying to understand those I disagree with so that I can blend in to any Wetherspoons across the land:

But surely the metric martyrs gave their lives so that Brexit could save us from 5G? At least we've got that extra £350m a week for the NHS now that we really need it. 150 years ago we had an empire, therefore we do not need cost-effective trade with Europe now. Freedom of establishment is health and safety law gone mad, and peace in Northern Ireland is just more red tape. Thank goodness those Eurocrats can't stop me from labelling my bananas as chocolate now.

[BebopWeBop]

Re: Who'd have thought

Like you, I bask in those freedoms won, comfotable in the knowledge that no one can actually tell me what they were of the positive differences they will make.

[BebopWeBop]

Re: Who'd have thought

Is 5G only manageable in imperial units? I ask because then it reopens, people in Wwethersppons might be interested....

[Disk0]

Re: Who'd have thought

Have you gone completely chocolate because I can't make bananas out of what you are saying...

[Sorry that handle is already taken.]

Re: Who'd have thought

Which icon did you intend (and forget) to attach to this post?

[steviebuk]

Re: Who'd have thought

I fear 7 people didn't get your joke

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: Who'd have thought

They did and didn't agree with the premise.

[NeilPost]

Re: Who'd have thought

Michael ‘who needs experts’ Gove branding anything like Cell Tower burning as ‘’dangerous nonsense’ whilst having a fair bit of responsibility for Brexit - the irony is not lost on me.

[martinusher]

Re: Who'd have thought

Its to be expected. We've been regularly casting experts as villians in movies for 40 years or more. Another common character is the single minded technologists whonly care for their systems and not the disasters they visit on society. (Jurassic Park, anyone?)

Keep this up for a generation or two and its not surprising that those who never managed to absorb any significant amont of STEM at school are vandalizing phone masts -- and worse.

[Pentacon]

Re: Who'd have thought

The irony of 'People have had enough of experts' Gove now demanding the internet companies & social media platforms do something about 5G conspiracy nuts is beyond parody. I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that meeting.

Gove: 'It's Part of your corporate responsibility to ensure ignoramuses such as these are denied the oxygen of publicity on your platforms. What are you doing about dealing with this matter expeditiously?'.

Social media exec: 'Well Chancellor Gove, we are closing down accounts that are spreading the nonsense as soon as they appear & to underline how serious we take the matter, we have also posted rejoinders urging these people not to listen to the ignoramus, semi-literate magoos who convinced their fellow ignoramuses that they should be done with & ignore experts'.

[batfink]

Re: Who'd have thought

How about: "Well, Chancellor Gove, how about you improve the UK education system so people have the skills to detect bollocks like this"?

Although TBF then they'd also be able to detect politicians' bullshit as well, so that's probably an undesirable outcome...

[Fading]

Re: Who'd have thought

The full quote is "people have had enough of experts from organizations with acronyms that have got things so wrong in the past" - puts a different slant on the whole thing wouldn't you say?

[Holtsmark]

Re: Who'd have thought

ou mean acronyms like UKIP and ERG right?

[Pentacon]

Re: Who'd have thought

The context in which he was speaking related to the Bank of England BoE (acronym) projection on the impact a 'No' vote outcome would have on the UK economy. He used the fact that the projected impact was for a recession which did not occur. This was used as proof of experts getting things wrong in the past, omitting to mention that the reason the projection turned out to be wrong after the fact was that the BoE & treasury had taken steps, in the interim, to ameliorate the impact of the said 'No' vote. Yes, the full picture does put a clearer slant on things, l agree. Oh & another organizations who agreed with the BoE analysis included the Confederation of British Industry CBI (another acronym). Experts are so called for a reason, but being human beings can get things wrong from time to time. A politician playing to populist sentiment with such cheap gags is nothing but an ignoramus if he then turns to experts to bail him & the country ( the people) out of a difficult situation for which he is partially responsible for laying the foundations of.

[Stoneshop]

Re: Who'd have thought

A politician playing to populist sentiment with such cheap gags is nothing but an ignoramus if he then turns to experts to bail him & the country ( the people) out of a difficult situation for which he is partially responsible for laying the foundations of.

I'd call that being a hypocrite, not an ignoramus. Although people, and especially politicians, can easily be both.

[Danny 2]

No smoke without a burning mast

The PM approved Huawei 5G and now he's in hospital, cos their pagodas are built out of pangolins.

My first house had a 1930s bakelite rotary phone and a three digit number, and this was the late '80s so it was valuable. One day while I was at work my guinea pigs chewed through the cord and so British Telecom 'engineers' broke into my home, stole the phone, and replaced it with a plastic push button.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Wife. Both the "guinea pigs" and the "engineers" were the wife. Cos she wanted a shiny shiny?

[Or parents, they also do things like that :( ]

[BebopWeBop]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Ahh - gloat. I still have a rotary bakelite phone. It is connected and even works properly. Of course we have not used a landline in more than 5 years, but that is a different matter!

[Richard 12]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

How do you know it still works?

[Rich 11]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Because the phone still rings when there's a lightning storm in the vicinity.

[Sgt_Oddball]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

I got an upgrade to one of the first button press BT phones. The ringers stopped working but the pulse dial still works a treat.

Its almost the prefect phone unless I need to call anything with an IVR system.

[jake]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

"Its almost the prefect phone unless I need to call anything with an IVR system."

Graft a DTMF circuit into it. Most phones have plenty of space to hide the circuitry, or build it into an in-line box.

[Sgt_Oddball]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

I might do that later, but right now the FttP connection still works with it (it surprised me as well) so I'll leave it be for now.

Other idea I had would be to use it as a Raspberry Pi case for shiggles and figs.

[Stoneshop]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

In the early days of DTMF there were these handheld thingies that you could hold against the mouthpiece to bleat the appropriate frequencies down the line.

[jake]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Even before DTMF was common there were these handheld thingies that you could hold against the mouthpiece to bleat appropriate frequencies down the line.

[jake]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

My Father's early 1950s Model 500 Western Electric rotary dial telephone is at my elbow, and still works just fine. It is my primary office telephone. Yes, my local telco still supports pulse dialing :-)

Before you knee-jerk a "luddite"[1] comment, where will all the money you have spent on telephones be in 70 years? Down the toilet, that's where. Think about it.

My grand daughter discovered the thing when she was about 5 years old. I gave her one of her own for her 6th birthday ... complete with a switch & circuitry to convert from pulse to DTMF as insurance for when her local CO drops pulse capability. She thinks it's wonderful ... and her friends think she's weird, which she also thinks is wonderful. Mission accomplished.

[1] I do cop to being a neo-luddite ... I use tools because they work, not because they are flashy or because the marketers or my peers insist that I should.

[Stoneshop]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

I have a rotary phone that connects to the house DECT setup. Yes, via DECT.

It's a white bakelite mid-1950's model.

[Ian Johnston]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

I'd love to be able to do that - I had two rotary phones in use until I went FTTP/VOIP/DECT last year. Can you give any pointers?

[Stoneshop]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Siemens Gigaset TAE1000.

I also have a FritzBox VDSL modem that offers 2 POTS lines for internal use even when you don't have POTS service, but the TAE1000 is a box on the wall (or behind the cupboard) near Ye Olde Analogue Phone, actually talking DECT to the base station. You do have to scour eBay and the like for them.

[Ian Johnston]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Thanks very much. Let the scouring commence/

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Dial phones were all rented. You didn’t own it and they didn’t steal it.

[Danny 2]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

No, I got that. I didn't realise they could just break into my house without even informing me for a problem that wasn't a problem to me.

Plus, who let the guinea pigs out - who? Who?

[Jellied Eel]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

Dial phones were all rented. You didn’t own it and they didn’t steal it.

But.. old rortary phones created one of the first conspiracies-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trimphone

The luminous dial or betalight contained the mildly radioactive element tritium*, which later caused some concern about safety. In June 1991 the United Kingdom Atomic Energy Authority at Harwell was fined £3,000 by Wantage Magistrates Court for accumulating radioactive waste, having collected several thousand Trimphone luminous dials in a skip

The good'ol nuclear phone. One of those strange things that may end up inhabiting any future waste repository and doom us all. Or not. I did my first dialing with a Trimphone and have since been complemented on the ability of my bifurcated finger tips to do detail work.

*Shame about the cost, otherwise it'd still be a fine form of low energy lighting. And winding up Greens.

[Captain Boing]

Re: No smoke without a burning mast

"British Telecom 'engineers' broke into my home"

although a "statutory right of entry" existed back then, It wouldn't be executed without the owner being present (and/or police) - the legal implications are mind-boggling... Having been an "engineer" (thanks for belittling my trade with quotes btw. tosser) for many years, I never even heard of it being done, ever. I suspect this is embellishment to make a story.

"stole the phone" the phone wasn't yours. End user equipment was rented back then

who leaves guinea pigs running around the house?... dirty man.

[Anonymous Coward]

Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

And suddenly the Social Media Addicted Numpties in the UK population start torching cell towers.

If I was the boss of Voda or whatever, I'd be tempted to send said 'Z' list celeb the bill.

Every Action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Don't you just love Newton at a time like this.

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Could we harness this power for good?

Suppose we picked a national "dumb blonde" and had the people follow his/her every pronouncement - however stupid. What could go wrong ?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

I think the Americans have tried that.........

It will all be over by Easter and everything will be back to normal.

[Steve Davies 3]

Re: It will all be over by Easter

Which Easter?

Come on now. Be honest. It is less than one week to Easter and BoJo is in intensive care.

So... Which Easter?

[Rich 11]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Suppose we picked a national "dumb blonde" and had the people follow his/her every pronouncement - however stupid. What could go wrong ?

The national dumb blond would probably do something daft like tell everyone in the country to stay two metres apart while himself boasting about still shaking hands with strangers in hospitals, then end up in ITU three weeks later after having infected his pregnant partner and most of his senior medical advisers.

[Mr Sceptical]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Why don't they just kill off their mobile service as punishment?

I think they'd soon realise 5G =>= internet =>= adoring minions: "Oh, maybe 5G is OK after all?!?"

Paris, because she looks like Einstein in comparison to these airheads =>

PS. May I suggest "Furgatory" to describe the purgatorial sense of daily life caused by most of the country being on 'Furlough'.

PPS. Also, "Weaponised 5G Bats" as phrase of the week.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Turn off all social media services (for everyone in UK) for a week per tower destroyed would be my plan.

[Rich 11]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

There'd be rioting in the streets. But, on the plus side, at least it would be uncoordinated rioting.

[Gordon 10]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

My thoughts exactly make the celebutards pay for their stupidity.

[Yet Another Hierachial Anonynmous Coward]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Maybe her "employers" would consider terminating whatever contracts they have with her? Seems fashionable these days to make previously employable people into toxic waste when they say/do something that is no longer deemed politically correct. As she obviously relies upon technology (TV, Twitter, facebook) or whatever to reach her air-headed vacuuous adorees, then not only should the TV companies terminate her contract, perhaps her mobile company and social media providers should consider likewise. Then she might understand that propagating stupidity and ignorance has its consequences.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Or.... While there is an absence of sport...

Amanda Holden Vs Piers Morgan

No holds barred cage match. Only one comes out alive.

It may not save a 5G phone mast but it will likely increase the average UK intelligence by a few IQ points.

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Could perhaps put a tax on stupid remarks? We would need a properly calibrated scale in a properly approved El Reg Bureau of Standards unit of course (the Holden, perhaps, as in: the remark was stupid in the mega-Holden range)

[Francis Boyle]

In this case

I think it would be like capacitors where all the common values are in the micro and milli ranges.

[Rich 11]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

It could be called the Halliwell-Holden-Hopkins Scale.

[Intractable Potsherd]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Thumbs up for the alphabetical listing!!

[Rich 11]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Thanks, though I hadn't noticed. I was thinking only of representatives who would reliably represent the spectrum from ignorant to stupid to vicious, which coincidentally is also alphabetic. Hmm.

[Stoneshop]

Re: Unqalified 'Z' list Celeb talks rubbish

Could perhaps put a tax on stupid remarks?

The proceeds of which to be going into the NHS.

[anthonyhegedus]

I've had it with the stock response from these utter gimboids being "do the research, find out" when their definition of research is finding a youtube video made by someone with the word "avocado" in their name. My stock response to them is always "you're a bit simple, aren't you?"

[jake]

Congratulations.

"you're a bit simple, aren't you?"

You've just won the Understatement of the Week Award.

Have a beer.

[Anonymous Coward]

Document your sources

I was challenged yesterday by an American who disputed my claim that you cannot 'buy Hydroxychloroquine over the counter at any chemist' as he was claiming or that we were all guzzling the stuff to avoid Covid 19. I had explained that such drugs are only available on prescription and are either low cost or free in the UK due to our wonderful NHS. They really do not understand the concept of either facts or universal health care.

I declined to respond.

[joeW]

"I'VE DONE RESEARCH"

"OK, can you send me a copy of your collated findings, with all appropriate citations and references included? Because if you haven't done that, then what you're doing is 'reading', not 'researching'. Or more likely 'watching', but I'm feeling charitable today".

[Persona]

Consequeneces

No doubt after they torch the mast they will soon be complaining bitterly that the internet on their phone isn't working.

[Mr Sceptical]

Re: Consequeneces

It's quite hard to upload from your mobile when you've torched your local mast...

Still, no one's accusing them of properly thinking things through.

[Bitsminer]

Re: Consequeneces

No wrongo. They don't have "internet" on their phone they have "facebook". And You Tube.

Don't believe me? Just ask 'em.

[steviebuk]

Re: Consequeneces

And this is why I feel the clapping for support staff is *pointless. Not because I'm a heatless arsehole (we donated to two NHS charities instead to provide them food and PPE equipment) but because the same people coming out clapping for the NHS are the same people that are burning the masts. And the people like the cunt yesterday who walked up to the local Post Office depot with card in hand with his son. Then proceeded to kick the door with force several times shouting out "Fucking wankers" cause he couldn't get his parcel. "Fuck the safety and wellbeing of the workers, I want my parcel".

*Not totally. I understand some can't afford to donate and it's their only way to give support, which is a nice touch. Just can't stand knowing half of them are probably knobs that were moaning about the NHS before this, and are just taking part so they can stick it on their social media pages to say "Look at me".

[Pen-y-gors]

Re: Consequeneces

Just can't stand knowing half of them are probably knobs that were moaning about the NHS before this

And, more to the point, knobs who voted Tory but fail to make the connection between that and an under-resourced NHS

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Consequeneces

Pen-y-gors, all Labour's splurging billions "extra" on the NHS seems to do is add more mid-level managers, more "equality" legislation that discriminates against the taxpayer, more support for minority groups at the expense of the general populace, increasingly uncommon translations of all paperwork in case someone wants something in a dialect that hasn't been in common usage since dinosaurs walked the earth, education sessions for anyone (almost invariably born male and still has the gall to "identify as" male) who dares to question the latest gender redefinition propaganda, more paperwork for medical staff to "prove" they are not discriminating against minorities, etc, etc, etc...

Labour like to portray themselves as the only hope for the NHS but the truth is they are no better than the Tories, they just waste more money in different ways.

Posted as Anon, because I have family who work in the NHS and have witnessed first-hand the "improvements" brought on by Labour meddling.

[AlbertH]

Re: Consequeneces

And, more to the point, knobs who voted Tory but fail to make the connection between that and an under-resourced NHS

Not quite. From 2001 - 2003 Bliar and McDoom came up with the wheeze of "employing" people from the extensive dole queues to "administrative" posts in the NHS. They employed over a million of them to do nothing useful. They're still "employed" at the NHS, doing nothing useful.

[cantankerous swineherd]

nice picture though

[cornetman]

I'm a bit confused. WTF is 5G fibre?

And what has that Facebook woman been smoking.

No wonder that poor network engineer looked confused.

Are we absolutely sure that she wasn't taking the p*ss?

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

>what is 5G Fibre?

Recommended daily allowance?

[cornetman]

That was so funny it might just break the internet :D

[Tom 7]

The B Ark.

Its England isn't it?

[eswan]

Re: The B Ark.

And Europe is going to be wiped out due to a lack of telephone sanitizers.

[Tom 7]

Re: The B Ark.

That may have been the case until recently - there are now a lot of youtube videos on how to sanitize your phone. Its post-imperial countries that have difficulty doing this stuff for themselves.

[Huw D]

Re: The B Ark.

I'm sure the Welsh and the Scots would be happy for it to just be England...

[Tom 7]

Re: The B Ark.

I'm not sure if they are escape or garbage pods. Time will tell.

[genghis_uk]

As I am only a few miles from the pitchfork wielding attackers of Paediatric Doctors this does not come as much of a surprise.

The cult of stupid is very well established in the UK and does not appear to be getting any less stupid

[Anonymous Coward]

Just recently watched Idiocracy. Not as funny as fans make out, a bit depressing as it seems to be coming true....

[Intractable Potsherd]

Idiocracy

I watched "Idiocracy" for the first time recently, too. Some parts were almost too painful to watch because of the accuracy, the rest was quite boring (which I think the commentard @Kiwi told me on here a couple of years ago).

Speaking of Kiwi - I don't seem to have seen you on the boards recently. Hope you are okay.

[Anonymous Coward]

average

You have to remember though that 50% of the population have below average intelligence.

[Chozo]

Re: average

and half of them are stupider than that

[Stoneshop]

Re: average

You have to remember though that 50% of the population have below average intelligence.

Sorry, that's the median. What you think of as 'average' is the mean.

[BebopWeBop]

Holden - doing her best to fly the Union Flag in a confusing sea of simpletons and fuckwittery. You see - we can do as well as the US in general moronacy. (OK it is not a word - but it should be one to capture the behaviour of this halfwit).

Moi - despairing - shurely not. It needs to be beer or stronger time. Paris because she probably has more sense in her little finger (and remember we are talking homeopathic levels here).

[jake]

"we can do as well as the US in general moronacy"

Having lived in Blighty about 20 percent of my life, and about 75% here in the US, I can assure you that it's a wash.

[Claverhouse]

Assume the Conclusion

Separately, Vodafone chief Nick Jeffrey has described attacks on 5G antennas as a "matter of national security".

"It beggars belief that some people should want to harm the very networks that are providing essential connectivity to the emergency services, the NHS and rest of the country during this difficult lockdown period," he wrote on LinkedIn.

However repellent these loonies are, I find such unctuous condescending appealing to maudlin self-interest equalling appalling.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Assume the Conclusion

Donning the old tinfoil hat..

You could argue that by making this statement, Nick Jeffrey has let the cat out of the bag apropos 5G, that the primary function is 'National Security', it's required for the surveillance state they're planning to implement over the next decade, they need the bandwidth for all those wireless monitoring devices.

Sure, they'll be selling it to the great unwashed as 'Netflix on the go' and bad 80's CGI AR dancing robots...

tinfoil hattery is such fun..

[Kane]

Re: Assume the Conclusion

"However repellent these loonies are, I find such unctuous condescending appealing to maudlin self-interest equalling appalling."

The irony dripping off this statement is...unctuous.

[NullNix]

Re: Assume the Conclusion

Well, he's right-ish. 5G towers don't *just* have 5G on them: some of them will also contain the 4G for the area too. Burn them down and you will (if you pick the wrong/right tower) lose mobile coverage completely. The emergency services *do* rely on that, as do people making 999 calls. *National* security, perhaps not, but local safety? Sure.

[Monty Cantsin]

Re: Assume the Conclusion

"However repellent these loonies are, I find such unctuous condescending appealing to maudlin self-interest equalling appalling."

You find people burning down comms infrastructure on the grounds of a completely nonsenseical conspiracy theory and someone asking that people not maliciously disrupt the same comms infrastructure that we all rely on for daily life "equalling appalling (sic)" ?

You need to get your fucking priorities straight, bud. Because at the moment, you're one of the repellent loonies.

[Mage]

SM platforms need to be regulated!

Well meaning comment from the New Statesman:

"Platforms such Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram could delete these posts themselves, listening to warnings from users on cases of misinformation and introduce a specific tool to report fake news on coronavirus." -- https://www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/social-media/2020/04/how-celebrities-became-biggest-peddlers-5g-conspiracy-theory-coronavirus-covid-19

Add WhatsApp, LinkedIn, YouTube.

That doesn't work. Accounts need to be PRE-MODERATED by humans till they prove trustworthy and then a link on EVERY post to report to Moderators. Just like every decent Forum.

But SM sites hide behind "Safe harbor" [sic] because they are not really providing a service like Forums, but purely monetising personal information to sell adverts. So they will not do anything that reduces posting volume or requires human labour without being forced to by law.

[Stork]

Re: SM platforms need to be regulated!

Freudian Slip(?) - I thought "how do sites for Sado-Machocism come into this?"

Or is social media just another form of SM? THB, I am not much into any of these types of SM.

[Huw D]

Just remember that the spread of Covid-19 is based on 2 main factors.

1) How dense the population is, and

2) How dense the population is.

[mark l 2]

I think the easiest way to tell who the gullible idiots are is to start a Facebook group saying that spreading raspberry jam on your face can stop COVID 19 infection, bounce the harmful 5G radiation into space and stop the governments being able to read your brainwaves.

Then just go around and round up all those with walking around with flies buzzing around their jam covered faces and stick them all on some remote island for the good of the rest of society.

[Sandtitz]

good idea, except...

Unfortunately - for those of us who enjoy raspberry jam - you couldn't find any in the shops since it would be one more hoarded item.

Also, us legit buyers would need to don at least sunglasses and fake beard (or just Groucho glasses) before approaching the jam shelf. One might as well buy a whole 6-pack of toilet paper since you're already camouflaged.

[Kane]

"I think the easiest way to tell who the gullible idiots are is to start a Facebook group saying that spreading raspberry jam on your face can stop COVID 19 infection, bounce the harmful 5G radiation into space and stop the governments being able to read your brainwaves.

Then just go around and round up all those with walking around with flies buzzing around their jam covered faces and stick them all on some remote island for the good of the rest of society."

4chan (that wretched hive of scum and villainy) have several times in the past run campaigns like this, two off the top of my head, iOS 7 update making your iPhone waterproof and Bald for Bieber. I'll leave you to google-fu the details.

I may take a wander over their later today, you know, for research purposes.

[Anonymous Coward]

Personally, I preferred the introduction of a new form of wireless charging with iOS 8 - as I recall, you could just pop your phone in the microwave for 90 seconds and get a whole day's charge!

[Jimmy2Cows]

Re: ...stick them all on some remote island for the good of the rest of society...

Given the ever-growing levels of fuckwittery in the UK, I think that ship docked here long ago.

[Spanners]

"stick them all on some remote island"

OI! I come from a remote island (or group of them anyway) and we don't want them.

[jake]

A cautionary tale ...

Hopefully I don't have to point out to all y'all that petrol-filled SuperSoakers are not a good idea?

A kid in my hometown decided to try it back in the early 1990s. The tip of the barrel caught fire. So he shook it to put it out. Spreading fire in every direction, including all over his clothing. He managed 1st degree burns over about half his body. But that wasn't what killed him. He inhaled the flames and torched about a third of his lungs. It took the resulting pneumonia almost ten days to drown him.

Don't become a statistic. Please.

[Disk0]

Re: A cautionary tale ...

shhhh

[Stoneshop]

Re: A cautionary tale ...

shhhh

Why piss on a moron like that?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: A cautionary tale ...

I do feel the need to point out that they apparently only used the super soakers to douse the masts etc with petrol, which they then ignited.

If similarly minded idiots out there interpret that as 'ooh, super-soaker flamethrowers...what a good idea' and flambé themselves whilst experimenting, then sorry, but hell mend them.

[Chris G]

Re: A cautionary tale ...

"Don't become a casualty please"

Or support crackpot theorists like Darwin, you are the products of intelligent design!

[SVV]

emitting towers use all the oxygen in the atmosphere

I'll just leave the thought here that if this were true, then setting fire to them would not be a very practical way of solving the problem.

Has someone got horribly confused because a phone company decided to call itself O2 and someone complained about the signal not being very good?

[Dazzadooby]

Not even 5g

It's also worth highlighting that the mast vandalised in Birmingham wasn't even a 5g mast, it was 4g. Utter morons.

[Henry Hallan]

Re: Not even 5g

The same modulation scheme is used for 4G and 5G. The same frequencies are used (and were used by analogue colour television for decades at thousands of times the power.) Don't tell the tinfoil hat brigade, but burning down 4G is consistent -- nowadays it's all OFDM.

[Stoneshop]

Re: Not even 5g

The same frequencies are used (and were used by analogue colour television for decades at thousands of times the power.)

Nope. Telly used (and DVB-T does still) carrier frequencies roughly between 60MHz and 850MHz, with a few gaps. Mobile phone networks used 900MHz at first, but have since moved to 1800MHz for 2G, and 2100, 2300 and 3400MHz for 3G, 4G as well as the 5G networks currently being rolled out.

[Henry Hallan]

Re: Not even 5g

What do you think the reason was for switching from analogue TV to DVB-T? It was to sell all that lovely bandwidth to the mobile phone operators.

http://niviuk.free.fr/lte_band.php

Notice the bands at 450, 700 and 800? Not all of those are used in the UK, but 800 certainly is.

Either way, it's all UHF. Your body is unlikely to be affected by 900MHz and not by 800MHz -- unless you fold your tinfoil hat very carefully!

[MJI]

Re: Not even 5g

I wanted DVB-T HD or at least a really good SD bit rate like we had originally.

I have had DVB-T since 1999.

I am also sure the original BBC bit rates made Sky look poor.

I even tried the OnCAM for a while at £3 per month.

[The Nazz]

Calm down, it'll soon pass.

Once upon a time, there came this beguiling (of some) political entity with the catchy slogan "Education, Education, Education."

And once, where children had learned to play together in nurseries, occasionally sociably, was then foisted upon them the "National Curriculum".

Together with £100's bns in welfare payments. And student loans.

This policy will be bearing fruit massively any day now, so surely such moronic behaviour will soon be a thing of the past?

ps Miss A. Holden may be the typical dumb blonde bimbo but i wouldn't say no to a session, or more, with her.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: but i wouldn't say no ...

She might, on the basis of the available evidence, indeed be very stupid, ... but I suspect not quite *that* stupid. :-)

[MJI]

Re: but i wouldn't say no ...

Dress up as Bob the Builder or the Milky Bar Kid and you will be away.

[jake]

Re: Calm down, it'll soon pass.

"but i wouldn't say no to a session, or more, with her."

I would. I have no idea where it's been. Same for every other celebretard.

[Chris G]

Re: Calm down, it'll soon pass.

During your session you would have to be careful not to damage or break anything.

You do know , her nipples are insured for something like £2,000,000?

[Jellied Eel]

Re: Calm down, it'll soon pass.

You do know , her nipples are insured for something like £2,000,000?

That's just the insurance industry collecting an idiot tax. £2m cover? No problem, premium will be £50k a year. Policy to include exemptions if pasties are attached with superglue, and dating anyone with a severe palsy.

[MJI]

Re: Calm down, it'll soon pass.

Pasties, why would you glue them to someone rather than eat them?

Were they Pork Farms?

(They make Ginsters look like high quality ones)

[sabroni]

Re: but i wouldn't say no to a session, or more, with her

That is fascinating!

I wonder if there are other celebreties that you might deign to have sex with? Please, could you list them all in order of hotness?

[Stoneshop]

Re: but i wouldn't say no to a session, or more, with her

Please, could you list them all in order of hotness?

I'm getting all these spams for contactless thermometers, so if you want to have a scientific method for rating them I can forward you a bunch.

[Disk0]

So it's ALL the telly's fault then

Mine's the one with the neighbour's clicker in the left pocket...

[Anonymous Coward]

The barbarians are at the gates it seems.

[Anonymous Coward]

At the gates?, the barbarians nicked the gates a while ago and sold them for scrap...

[baud]

No, the politicians sold the gates and outsourced the gatekeeping process to a telemarketing company in India

[Anonymous Coward]

Batshit crazy 5G ideas

There really are some nutters with batshit crazy ideas, and apparently people are expected to believe them

e.g. "Vodafone chief Nick Jeffrey has described attacks on 5G antennas as a "matter of national security"

Barking mad or what?

Our cellphone company uses social media to tell us 5G will cause self driving cars, and turn the streets into a swirly AR video game, which somehow would actually be considered an improvement over god knows what.

Yeah I know, bloody certifiable. How are they allowed to keep spreading these lies?

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Anti-Social Distancing

Keep Your Distance (2 posts above/below)

[jake]

Re: Anti-Social Distancing

::hugs::

(Someone had to. Have a beer for your trouble.)

[eldakka]

Indictment of education system

The fact that so many people believe these conspiracy theories, that they are so easily swayed is an indictment of the education system, the curriculum, the people who set the curriculum, the people who choose the people who set the curriculum, and the (lack of) financing of said institutions.

The total lack of the ability to perform discerning thinking for such a large portion of the populace, the ability to assses, research, analyse, to critically think about what they are hearing is all down to the deducation systems in the anglo-countries at least (not sure about other cultural blocks).

A large part of this can also be placed at the foot of religious institutions who, by their very nature, eliminate any sort of true analytical thinking and reveal the 'truth' by dictate rather than logical, analytical assessment of the evidence. To do otherwise would destroy their religious institutions, eliminate any moral authority they claim to have because some mythical figure said so. Therefore it is in their best interest to destroy any sort of true analytical training from the sheep, the masses, as to do otherwise would end their institutions.

The same can be said of the political class as with the religious class, Labor, Conservative, all the same, they want people to believe what they say absolutely to maintain their own power. Just look at some of the 'leader's of the world Trump, Boris Johnson, Bolsonaro, Putin, Orban. Even many of the so-called liberal leaders are no better, Corbyn, Hilary Clinton, et al. And the fact that people believe them, Oh - My - Fucking - FSM.

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: Indictment of education system

You forgot to name check the former Educaton Sec & current minister for the Cabinet Office, right at the centre of government.

[Dr_N]

Re: Indictment of education system

Doctor Syntax>

You forgot to name check the former Educaton Sec & current minister for the Cabinet Office, right at the centre of government.

AND his trusty weirdo advisor sidekick.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Indictment of education system

Its worse than that though, its not even to do with education level. My cousin, an Oxford graduate with a first class degree (ok, in English Literature), who teaches A level English, posted some "helpful covid-19 info" to our family whatsapp* that said that we must eat alkali foods in order to kill the virus. Her list of "alkali foods" included oranges, lemons, mangos, tangerines, dandelion... each one had its ph level next to it, avocado (15.6), pineapple (12.7), garlic (13.2), dandelion (22.7)...

The internet should have meant unlimited access to unlimited knowledge. Instead it is unlimited access to nonsense and idiocy.

BRB, just going to clean the drains with some avocado.

* I agree, but I am not in charge of what applications my family choose to use to communicate with each other; I can either participate or not.

[jake]

Re: Indictment of education system

Dandelions have a PH of 22.7? No wonder my lawn refuses to grow ... And here I thought it was California's perpetual drought, and me refusing to water it ...

I hope you publicly ripped the idiot a new one so nobody in your family listens to her about anything even vaguely scientific ever again. Dumbasses like that kill people.

(Just as a side-note, spring dandelions are a mostly forgotten delightful salad green. Try 'em, you might like 'em. They get bitter after they flower, so act fast!)

[96percentchimp]

Re: Indictment of education system

I was reassured by the volume of righteous commentards who leapt on Holden's tweet, and do sterling work to fight the fires of other idiocy, such as anti-vaxxing, AGW-denial and Brexitteering (some on these very pages). There are many bright minds out there.

The problem is that the idiots won't shut up, there's always a small fetid corner of the interwebs where they can find other fools of their ilk (some of them pushing more sinister agendas for which regular stupidity is an excellent shill). They reassure each other that the fight must be fought, recharge and return to poison the well for everyone with a gram of common sense.

Over time, it's like a drip of water cutting into the bedrock of sensible thought, until one day a fucking great sinkhole opens up, and you realise the whole edifice has been undermined and you're all teetering on the brink of national, regional or global stupidity.

[Russell Chapman Esq.]

The mental breakdown of society

All the institutions people used to trust no longer really work for most people and hence in times of crisis quickly lose any trust they did have. Added to this the huge complexity of the world, there used to be big ideas about how to make change, today at best, all governments are able to do is try and manage outcomes.

Many people are no longer really coping, they either make themselves go numb and simply try to get through each day or they become very angry using anything to vent their frustration at the sense of hopelessness in their lives, hence the 5G thing.

I think this quote is quite apt: ‘Confused by chaos, infantilised by ignorance, refugees from complexity flee to fanaticism and dogma.’

[IareFlash]

People who demonstrate an IQ lower than that of their garden (or pot plant on the balcony)....

Should not be allowed on social media.

D minus for the fucktards allowing this rubbish to be published too.

Britain is a nation of bored shopkeepers who love to stand in queues complaining about how long the queue is, and this is another classic example.

Get a hobby.

[Greybearded old scrote]

Re: People who demonstrate an IQ lower than that of their garden (or pot plant on the balcony)....

That _is_ their hobby.

[Greybearded old scrote]

Re: What about

Oh yes, because we're not sleep walking into a totalitarian state fast enough are we?

Be careful when advocating censorship. You might find yourself the one being censored.

OK, maybe a bit harsh responding to just you like that. There've been so many, and your post finally crossed the threshold.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: What about

5 downvotes for that? Seems a bit excessive.

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: What about

At a guess such actions could already be classified as acts of terrorism. I'm not sure adding capitals makes much difference.

[DavCrav]

Re: What about

It clearly is terrorism.

A weirdo inexplicable leader tells their moronic followers a pack of lies and they go and set critical national infrastructure on fire as a response.

[Conundrum1885]

Re: What about

There's a lot to be said for handing over full control of social media to the Government, in terms of controlling the flow of information during a global crisis so people aren't misled or given blatantly incorrect advice that might (and some cases will) do actual damage.

Case in point someone died because they didn't understand the difference between aquarium grade chemicals and ended up taking 100* too much, which could have been easily avoided.

I for one would cheer when the anti-vaxxers, 5G conspiracy wingnuts and suchlike are locked away en masse as they should be to protect everyone else.

[Justin Case]

Re: What about

Fantastic. So the official line is the only one that gets out. What could possibly go wrong with that?

[Big_Boomer]

A Masters Degree in Advanced DumbFukerie (Madf)

I have recently been having a discussion with a colleague on the subject of conspiracy theories with specific reference to the 5G drivel. He is well educated and well travelled yet he still believes this conspiracy garbage and even when categorically proven wrong still spouts guff like "there's no smoke without fire". If people like him are believing and forwarding this crap on anti-social media then what chance do the toilet-roll hoarders have?

[Doctor Syntax]

Good ploy by HMG

This idea such obvious bollocks that it could only be believed by celebrities and the utterly stupid (I'm not claiming there isn't overlap). It's a conspiracy by HMG to identify the utterly stupid so as not to waste resources on treating them when they go down with the virus.

You heard it here first. Spread the word.

[M. Poolman]

Dowsing a mast, or any other large object with petrol, especially by *spraying* petrol FFS sounds like a great way to get yourself a Darwin award.

As Frank Zappa said:

"Physicists say that hydrogen is the more abundant than anything else in the universe; they're wrong - it's stupidity"

Obvious Icon

[James Anderson]

Tell them not to worry

Placing a plastic bag over your head will ensure you do not receive any harmful 5g radation.

Please do this at home to avoid littering the streets.

[Spanners]

A brilliant British understatement"

Michael Gove may have proved himself a twat but calling it that proves he is definitely British.

For people outside the UK, those "celebutard" claims are total bollocks and BS.

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny thing is that the people who complained about 3G back in the day (or UMTS as it sounded scarier), are now complaining when they drop down to 3G speeds instead of 4G.

People are so stupid. Using up all the oxygen, I mean who with a brain cell would fall for that????

[hup hup hoo]

Simple

Take away their phones, take away their internet connection, take away their television. They want to deny our access to technology, let's see how they get on without it.

[Wobbly World]

More worrying than 5G...

In trying to find the truth about 5G on the web I came across something far more dangerous than 5G a substance that those burning down 5G masts should avoid at all costs!!! DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE (DHMO)

Why has the government not banned this highly dangerous substance!!

Listed below, from the site, are some of the dangers associated with DHMO?

Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

• Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.

• Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.

• Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.

• DHMO is a major component of acid rain.

• Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.

• Contributes to soil erosion.

• Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.

• Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.

• Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.

• Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.

• Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.

It is obviously an American site and is moderated, so it must be true? Meaning it’s not conspiracy, tin hat, propaganda. Now how can we get Amanda Holden to spread the message across to the confused numpties torching 5G masts!!

It would solve the problem very fast, assuming her followers abstain DHMO for around five days, the problem would be resolved. ຈل͜ຈ

[jake]

Re: More worrying than 5G...

It gets worse! There are detectable levels of Di-Hydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) in all alcoholic beverages produced in the UK. DHMO is a well-known industrial solvent and coolant, and is used in virtually every commercial food growing operation in the UK. This chemical is adsorbed into all foods during production, and even after a thorough cleaning it is still present. It exists in all UK produced foods, even if they are gluten free, dairy free, non-GMO, unfiltered and organically grown with no tree or ground nuts.

Ban all food and alcohol produced in the UK before it's too late! Write to your MP demanding the banning of DHMO before it becomes so common you drown in it!

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Re: More worrying than 5G...

It's worse than acid rain, with its percentage composition in rain water reaching a much higher figure

[Anonymous Coward]

Finally ...

It really is time we did something about Liverpool. Maybe set everyone there a basic reasoning test, then let the 5% who pass out and nuke the rest in situ.

[Anonymous Coward]

Consequences of arson in terms of sentencing

I vaguely remembered that arson is considered fairly dimly by the courts. Depending on the context it appears to go up to 5 to 12 years with the starting point being 8 years. Of course it can be a lot less. If the torched transmitter carries emergency service calls, say someone trying to call to say there's a bloody huge fire next to their house, then one would hope the culprits wouldn't get off with 6 months and a community order.

Aggravating factors; Use of accelerant (check), Significant degree of planning or premeditation (check), Multiple people endangered (possibly but certainly the participants), Significant impact on emergency services or resources (right now, check), Established evidence of community/wider impact (check, our phones don't work).

Factors reducing seriousness; Age and/or lack of maturity (maturity, check), Serious Medical condition requiring urgent, intensive or long-term treatment (check, surely blind trust in 'but I read it on the internet it must be true' needs treatment, like no social media for you ever again).

I hope they catch these people and put them under house arrest seeing that we're emptying most prisons right now.

https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/crown-court/item/criminal-damage-arson-with-intent-to-endanger-life-or-reckless-as-to-whether-life-endangered/

[Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese]

Of all those people recording videos of them torching 5G masts, I wonder how many were frustrated that it took so long to upload the footage from their phone to InstaTwitFaceTube?

[Anonymous Coward]

Product of the Troll Factory

https://allianceforscience.cornell.edu/blog/2020/04/anti-vaxxers-and-russia-behind-viral-5g-covid-conspiracy-theory/