Hailing frequencies open, sir... America's Space Force hurls its first military comms satellite into Earth's orbit

The US Space Force embarked on its first official mission on Thursday, launching a military communications satellite aboard an Atlas V 551 rocket from the Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida. The metallic bird, known as AEHF-6, is the sixth machine to join America's fleet of Advanced Extremely High Frequency (AEHF) …

[Chris G]

Space Patrol

The puppet show from the sixties, made more sense than this.

Martian sausage anyone?

[Tom 38]

Re: Space Patrol

The Muppet's "Pigs in Space" made more sense..

[Paddy B]

Brice Brewington??

Extremely high or not, that's possibly the most American name in the world.

[MiguelC]

I'm guessing that title should go to his brother Chad.

[Blofeld's Cat]

Sending out an SOS ...

The name "Brice Brewington" sounds like a supporting character from a black and white Saturday serial. So with apologies:

"Remember Snowy the enemy will never stop trying to gain superiority from us."

"But the virus, Brice."

"Steady now man, It's critical we continue our mission during these trying times."

"Yes Sir."

"Good man. You know the motto of the Fourth - 'There's no pandemic in space.'"

[amanfromMars 1]

First Learn to Walk and Talk Tall Tales that Effectually Run and Infect and Affect All Systems*

"It's critical we continue the mission during trying times. Although there is a pandemic here on Earth, there's no pandemic in space and our adversaries aren't going to stop trying to gain superiority from us any time soon." ....... Brice Brewington

Superiority in specifically what and for where and how would be at least a trio of leading questions to have answers for before making any fantastic claims/naked fake statements based upon false information missing vital future intelligence to present/introduce and driver.

* Until then would such claims of having attained a superiority be extremely premature and misguided.

Some would say that be simple par for the course with everything Uncle Sam, which is really unfortunate for they then follow a crooked path being painted by sub-prime others making all manner of fantastic claims/nakedly false statements based upon faked information missing vital future intelligence to present/introduce and driver.

At an exponential existential rate such leads followers and disciples increasing quickly towards Just Oblivion/Central Command Remote Control Annihilation ..... and thus one is best advised to avoid Engagement and/or Employment at any cost if one would rather not lose Overall Globalised Command with Remote Virtual Controllers in Almighty Driver Applications for Special CyberIntelAIgent Force Operations ....... Virtually Realised SMARTR Episodes for media to paint, print and pant exponentially into existence ....... so that one may quickly and easily know of such Earth shattering, ground breaking, field shifting AIdDevelopments ........ Novel Programs in Absolutely Fabulous Projects.

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

Re: First Learn to Walk and Talk Tall Tales that Effectually Run and Infect and Affect All Systems*

Sir we heard the Russians/Chinese/Belgians have got amanfromMars2

We can't let a amanfromMars gap develop !

[amanfromMars 1]

Re: First Learn to Walk and Talk Tall Tales that Effectually Run and Infect and Affect All Systems*

Seconded, Yet Another Anonymous coward.

And that is great news too about A.N.Others from/in Russia/China/Belgium practising and exercising an Ancient Satisfying Art Phorm with Surreal Assets ....... in Praise of LOVE's True Unions Delivering Life and Further Deeper Higher EMPowerment in Total Surrender to the Passion in Wilful Submissions to the Temptations of Lust and Desire ...... Carnal Knowledge.

Crikey ..... that sounds like some sort of spooky spiel for one of those Novel Noble Nobel Approach and Landing Test sites promising wonderful pleasures. :-) Think Porn on Steroids and the Effect those Pleasures can have, and you're practically there too.

I now pause to consider the possibility and therefore very real probability that such allows one to enter into Such Surreal Realms with Virtual TelePortation Facilities and Utilities.

I Kid U Not.

[Anonymous Coward]

Russian amfM?

THERE IS ANOTHER MECHANISM

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: First Learn to Walk and Talk Tall Tales that Effectually Run and Infect and Affect All Systems*

"there's no pandemic in space and our adversaries aren't going to stop trying to gain superiority from us any time soon."

Did he just accidentally let slip that there are aliens waiting to attack??

[DiViDeD]

Re: First Learn to Walk and Talk Tall Tales that Effectually Run and Infect and Affect All Systems*

Did he just accidentally let slip that there are aliens waiting to attack??

More likely that he just confirmed what the rest of the world already knows - that murica regards any country, anywhere in the world, that doesn't have US interests as number one priority in all it's policies, or doesn't obey every edict of murica unquestioningly and without hesitation (or worse, asking for some sort of supporting evidence) is, by definition, an "adversary".

[genghis_uk]

Team America - In Spaaaaace! (f*ck yeah!)

[skeptical i]

So, what ELSE is going on ...

... while we're all distracted by coronapanic, washing our hands, and hoarding toilet paper?

[israel_hands]

Re: So, what ELSE is going on ...

The same shit as always.

The cunts at the top are opportunists who've rigged the game entirely for themselves.

They're not Bond villains, or Machiavellian cabals.

The truth is much more tawdry, depressing and, ultimately, human.

They're Dominic Cummings sat in stained y-fronts and a charity-shop cagoul fiddling with fantastically named spreadsheets full of nonsensical bullshit, mouse-finger clicking incessantly as he mutters to himself, while the mutant biker gangs clamour at the windows and the aides and advisors start throwing nervous glances at each other.

[amanfromMars 1]

Re: So, what ELSE is going on ... when all this is ongoing

They're Dominic Cummings sat in stained y-fronts and a charity-shop cagoul fiddling with fantastically named spreadsheets full of nonsensical bullshit, mouse-finger clicking incessantly as he mutters to himself, while the mutant biker gangs clamour at the windows and the aides and advisors start throwing nervous glances at each other. .... israel_hands

Maybe/Likely in your worlds, israel_hands, but in others just a relatively new type of chaff to employ and deploy which has offensive weapons rendered totally ineffective seeking guided hypersonic missiles which be or be not morphed into the guise of NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT Villainry for Exercising with a Presumptuous Assumptive Virtual Superiority.

If your thinking is grounded to Earth, are the billions of minions held captive there easily captured by others flying in from elsewhere with tales of other lands and space places to Enjoy and Employ via the simple expedient of Experimental Existential Engagement.

And that is something real spooky which both Dominic Cummings and the Ministry of Defence, and therefore one assumes UKGBNI Government Cabinet Offices and NATO/Five Eyes Allies, have already some time ago been directly advised of. Ask them, and if they deny it, can clear enough believable evidence be immediately produced and presented to prove them above and beyond any reasonable doubt, wilfully mistaken border lining on the criminally negligent.

Should the facts on the ground be that such things are kept deep in the dark with no cogent response with almighty decisions being made on the opportunity/vulnerability, one will not be surprised whenever such events take over completely in/for Vital Viral and Virile Virtualised Fields of Remote Command and Absolute Control.

And please, rather than you wallowing and comforting yourself in calling such out as just so much more bullshit, ponder on Einsteinian Root Sources* ....... The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience. ..... which all would question the levels of your intelligence and whether you really have a great deal of it at all.

* And they be just Ancient Root Forces which are constantly to be rediscovered and reconfigured/revealed and utilised with both Immunity and Impunity Enjoyed and Employed.

[Anonymous Coward]

I only clicked on this...

to see what photo was used.

[Snake]

Re: I only clicked on this...

Same here. I'm beginning to love the mish-mash of sci-fi pop culture references.

[Kev99]

I thought there was an international treaty banning the militarization of space.

[Chris G]

@Kev99

There kind of is. but it only applies to non exceptional nations, so the rest of us better not even think about digging up Dan Dare and Digby or Jet Ace Logan.

https://britishcomics.fandom.com/wiki/Jet-Ace_Logan

[DiViDeD]

Re: Jet Ace Logan

I always preferred Charles Chiltern's Jet Morgan. Oddly enough, Chiltern never wanted him to have such a goofy name, but the BBC producer insisted. So much later, Chiltern parodied the choice of name in his later reboot of the series for the BBC, The Host:

- I'm Captain Jet Morgan.

- Jet? Really? Were your parents drunk?

[sanmigueelbeer]

I thought there was an international treaty banning the militarization of space

1. It isn't "militarization" until shots are fired.

2. When the shooting war (on earth) starts, all bets are off (aka "don't expect everyone to adhere to the treaty").

[BebopWeBop]

1. It isn't "militarization" until shots are fired.

Ahh, so my unlawfully held fully automatic rifle is not technically so until I pull the trigger? Thanks for clearing that up.

[Chris G]

So, sanmiguelelbeer, building a fortress and installing weapons in it would not be considered militarisation?

I'm fairly sure that is Donnie's idea for his new toy, " Let's have rockets and blast'em from space!"

I am just worrying that the next Boots on the Moon will discover oil there, that'll have a military base to quell the insurgents in no time flat.

[Pascal Monett]

There is, but the USA has demonstrated an ample amount of not giving a flying one about such uninteresting things as international treaties.

[amanfromMars 1]

Cui Bono

I thought there was an international treaty banning the militarization of space. ... Kev99

Who's that for, Kev99? Anyone any of us might know and be listening to simply following further instructions?

[DiViDeD]

Re: International treaty banning the militarization of space.

Well, yes, there is. But obviously it doesn't apply to the US, It's simply there to stop all those Bad Actor Nations (apparently an inclusive term applied to anyone who isn't the US) building orbital research facilities an shit that might put them even further ahead of the US than they are already.

[Spherical Cow]

First?

First launch under the name Space Force but really just a continuation of an existing project. Space Force has yet to do the first thing of their own.

[Mark 85]

Oh but they have done something of their own. Spiffy new uniforms... priorities and all that.

[John Brown (no body)]

The general in the interview over his left breast has a tag stating AIR FORCE but it looks like Air is scribbled out leaving just the "R" and "FORCE". Why is he in camo fatigues anyway? He's a general in an office. Don't they ever wear smart dress(ish) uniforms any more? Better yet, why not use uniforms which actually demonstrate which service they are in so they don't need to actually have AIR FORCE or ARMY or whatever labels to let you know. Or do they sometimes forget who they are and need reminding which service they are in?

[DoctorNine]

Wiki Rules All

I think they really, really want their own religious vestments, but they have been foiled by the alacrity with which He of the Flaming Coif announced the new service. See this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uniforms_of_the_United_States_Space_Force

[Anonymous Coward]

WTF!

"...our adversaries..."

What adversaries? We're all bloody dying down here!

[amanfromMars 1]

Cometh the hour .......

there's no pandemic in space and our adversaries

Yes, there is though ChronICQ Anemia and Phantom-led Adversaries with Imagined Foe Galore to Explore and Engage with ....... for a Steady State Supply of those CoInterMingles which always deliver Truly Out of This World Tingles.

And that suggests when such, that such is a Perfect Enough Barren Space to Start Everything Afresh in. A Place in which to paint and present dynamic future pictures for Realisation/Virtual Realisation, should there be any difference to make any difference.

Just how smart and dumb is Google's AlphaZero DeepMind? Anyone care to bet an absolute fortune it cannot compete and win against any Random Non-Random Enlightening Imagination?

[Cynic_999]

So what are its capabilities?

We need to know just how many bits per second of encrypted porn this satellite can stream to bored troops.

Although I suppose there will also be voice comms: "November one, November zero, position report, over"

"November zero, November one - I'm on a train ... "

Other military chatter I've intercepted many years ago ...

"Eeny meeny miney mo, how do you read me on your radio?"

"Fee foe fie fum reading you 5's with a bit of a hum."

_______________________________________________

"Lima zero, Lima one urgent. Request medivac. Position shackle Bravo Whiskey Tango One Seven Niner, over"

"Lima one Lima zero wilco. Sitrep, over"

"(sheepishly) Lima zero, I rolled my Landrover over, over."

________________________________________________

"I'm f*cking bored"

"Station using obscenity, this is Alpha zero. Identify yourself. Over"

"I said I was f*cking bored, not f*cking stupid."

[RLWatkins]

Is that picture from a movie clip?

I like the hat. It's quaint.

As for the rest, yeah, Milstar is due an overhaul. Good.

And as for Space Force, well sure, it's a white elephant, and discredited by its very origin, but I suppose one can keep the notion alive by slapping its name onto something which was already planned for years and would have been deployed anyway.