back to article El Reg tries – and fails – to get its talons on a Brexit tea towel

There's good news and bad news for those seeking to commemorate the UK's departure from the European Union on 31 January. You too can own a "Got Brexit Done" tea towel, courtesy of the Conservative Party. Sadly, you cannot do the drying up with delight on the big day itself. Deliveries of the collection (which also includes a …

  1. Korev Silver badge
    Trollface

    >The product is, after all, "PROUDLY made in the UK" so we can't imagine that shipping it in would be a problem.

    Like the Blue passports -->

    1. Omgwtfbbqtime

      "... so we can't imagine that shipping it in would be a problem."

      That depends...

      is Yodel the box-tosser of choice?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "... so we can't imagine that shipping it in would be a problem."

        >box-tosser

        Is that the new insult for Dominic Cummings?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "... so we can't imagine that shipping it in would be a problem."

          >>2 thumbs down

          Sorry Dominic.

          And Dominic's mum.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The repeated claim that the blue passport was forced on the UK by the EU is itself a lie. The choice was made by the UK government of the time to voluntarily adopt the standard EU template passport.

      They didn't have to, and indeed Croatia has blue passports.

      That said, I'd be wary of implying that- had this not been the case- it would otherwise have been fine to piss away the political future of the UK over the colour of some fucking passports or other twee inconsequential shite that I suspect 99.9% of Little Englanders didn't give a toss about until they adopted them as an excuse for^w^w symbol of leaving the EU.

      1. Martin Gregorie

        Do you really not know that the New Blue Passports are being Fabrique en France rather than Built in Blighty?

        1. H in The Hague

          Haven't got time to check the details but I think they will be produced by a French or Dutch company, at their plant in the UK.

          1. JimmyPage Silver badge
            Mushroom

            RE: Haven't got time to check the details

            spoken like a true Brexiteer ....

            And you're wrong too. Thales have outsourced it to Poland.

            1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

              Re: RE: Haven't got time to check the details

              It's worth remembering the Daily Wail fuss about our passports being made by the Germans. It was actually a privatised arm of the the old HMSO in the foreign land that is Oldham.

        2. JimmyPage Silver badge
          Stop

          RE: New Blue Passports are being Fabrique en France rather than Built in Blighty?

          Actually they're not. Thales (the French company that won the gig) took the decision to further outsource it to Poland, as it's not something they regard as a big deal.

          https://www.connexionfrance.com/French-news/Brexit/French-firm-defends-UK-passport-jobs-in-Poland

          The Daily Mail did briefly try and run an outraged story about poor working conditions in Poland, before it dawned on them what they were really saying. Normal service has been resumed.

    3. SVV

      You mean to say you're not actually proud of the Great British Tea Towel Industry?

      Shame on you! Our tea towels are the envy of the world, and Brexit will give us access to new worldwide tea towel markets, now that Brussels can no longer dictate the size and colour of our dinnerware drying implements. If the future means just selling stuff to each other within our borders, then selling Brexit mugs to Brexit mugs is surely the prefect metaphorical souvenier.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

    In other post-Brexit news:

    Box of 240 "Yorkshire" Teabags now £35.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

      Box of 240 "Yorkshire" Teabags now £35.

      Are they actually growing the tea in Yorkshire?

      1. H in The Hague

        Re: Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

        "Are they actually growing the tea in Yorkshire?"

        Not yet. But they are in Cornwall:

        www.tregothnan.co.uk

        Time for a cuppa.

        1. PeterK13

          Re: Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

          And even in Scotland, though Brexit will need to be an even bigger shambles than it already is for it to compete with any other tea on price

          https://www.pekoetea.co.uk/products/kinnettles-gold-scottish-grown-tea

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

        growing the tea in Yorkshire?

        No - but they've got *lots* of rhubarb leaves that they can dry to make *proper* Yorkshire tea.

        (Don't try this at home - rhubard leaves contain some pretty nasty chemicals!)

    2. Sgt_Oddball
      Coat

      Re: Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

      I can see the headlines in a fortnight already...

      and in other news around a third of Yorkshire folk have now officially died of thirst since Yorkshire tea surpassed the average monthly wage in some areas, more on this at 10....

      Mines the one with the emergency teabags sewn into the lining...

      1. Rol

        Re: Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

        I call into Lidl most days, on my way home from work, and buy whatever I can carry home to add to my stockpile.

        I see one of two things happening - rationing or cannibalism.

        Since it's the Tory party in charge of this mess, I've been stocking up on Chianti and fava beans.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Got Brexit Done = A Tea Towel now costs £12

      Does a lot of tea come from the EU then?

  3. big_D Silver badge
    Coat

    Tea towel?

    One word too many...

    The conservatives are obviously not cool froods. I bet the lapel badge isn't an electronic thumb either, to flag down a lift on the next passing Vogon ship.

    Mine's the one with Bayern München towel in the pocket.

    1. Fading
      Joke

      Re: Tea towel?

      Bayern München towel in the pocket you say? Surely it will be adorning the choicest sun lounger at some holiday resort?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Tea towel?

        Nah - my uncle-in-law specialises in coming back to the hotel from the pub late at night, and chucking any towels lying on sun-loungers into the pool.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Tea towel?

      You only sing when you're winning!;-)

      Mine's the one with the Fortuna Düsseldorf patches on it.

    3. macjules
      Unhappy

      Re: Tea towel?

      lapel pin - Made in China with a warning that you might contract Novel Coronavirus should you accidentally prick your finger.

      mug - the handle is inside the mug.

      a magnet - designed by James Dyson so fails to attract at all and is as much use as one of his vacuum cleaners.

      1. RegGuy1 Silver badge

        Re: Tea towel?

        Are his vacuum cleaners any good? I've never been able to afford one.

        [That's not strictly true, I can afford one, but refuse to pay for stupidly over priced utilities. Then again I have an iPhone, but only because my employer paid for it.]

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Tea towel?

          "Digital motor" should be enough to put you off...

          1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

            Re: Tea towel?

            Personally, I refuse to buy anything associated with mister "ordinary fans chop the air".

            Though I suppose we can thank that particular con for a typically entertaining Wonderella comic.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

    Damn, I'll have to find something else to wipe my backside with in the meantime...

    1. Rich 11

      Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

      Allow me to recommend suitable replacements.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

        I wouldn't wipe my arse on that "news" paper. It would involve someone having to have bought it in the first place, and given them the money. I'd only touch a copy in order to hide it in Smiths...

        1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
          Megaphone

          Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

          The Grauniad is annoying but, let's face it, it's not top of the lift of publications to avoid or are you going to pretend you can read the Mail or the Express without questioning the sanity of any who choose to read it,

          And it's worth remembering by all that it was founded by a businessman to help uncover the Peterloo massacre. Worth remembering to those on the left that not all businessmen are bastards, and those on the right that free trade was once the cry of the working class.

          1. H in The Hague

            Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

            "Worth remembering to those on the left that not all businessmen are bastards, "

            Quite, and most of the businesspeople I meet are keenly aware that they need good people and treat them well in order to have a thriving business.

            "... founded by a businessman to help uncover the Peterloo massacre. "

            And the FT is still running articles on things such as modern slavery in the UK, underpayment of garment workers in the North of England, Captain's Club scandal, etc.

            1. Martin-73 Silver badge

              Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

              By and large, the bigger the company, the more removed from reality the top dogs are. There are wonderful exceptions however, I cherish them

            2. Alan Brown Silver badge

              Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

              "And the FT is still running articles on things...."

              The FT was one of the first "respectable" outfits to start spamming in the 1990s and they refused to take the many clues they were handed that cost-shifting their advertising was a spectacularly bad idea.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

            Corporations on the other hand...

          3. werdsmith Silver badge

            Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

            I consider the guardian to be of the same status as the mail, just on the other side of the political fence.

            Both gutter rags.

            1. Robert Grant

              Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

              That's just silly.

            2. Martin-73 Silver badge

              Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

              It's on the other side of the fence to be sure, and not averse to a little hornet-nest poking, but it's a subtle poke, compared to the daily fail's 'whack it like a piñata'

            3. codejunky Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

              @werdsmith

              "I consider the guardian to be of the same status as the mail, just on the other side of the political fence."

              Just want you to know that upvote is from me.

              1. don't you hate it when you lose your account

                Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

                Just want you to know that down vote is from me.

              2. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

                > Just want you to know that upvote is from me.

                Just want you to know I consider that virtue signalling shit from the right wing.

                1. codejunky Silver badge

                  Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

                  @AC

                  "Just want you to know I consider that virtue signalling shit from the right wing."

                  To consider the daily mail and guardian to be on par with each other? Ok

            4. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

              @werdsmith given your opinion of both the Guardian and the Mail I am genuinely interested in what your idea of reputable news source is.

          4. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

            Also worth remembering that it's owned by a Trust that is not averse to holding assets in the Cayman Islands for redons its never been willing to explain to Private Eye who tend to ask questions of them whenever the Guardian runs one of their "rich people using tax havens to avoid paying the money they owe" campaigns

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

              full stops.

              use them.

              1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

                Re: Deliveries [..] won't start until the week commencing 10 February

                Eh, full stops would have turned a mildly entertaining rant into a feeble and pointless one.

                In its present form, I have a nice mental image of AC gasping and clutching his1 side, having just run a mile to deliver this urgent news to us in a single sustained, gasping outpouring of barely-discernible words.

                1Going with the most probable pronoun here.

  5. heyrick Silver badge

    A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

    Commemorating the biggest dumbest most far reaching political decision in a lifetime with...

    ...a tea towel...

    ...that will turn up, maybe, two weeks later.

    (you couldn't make it up)

    1. codejunky Silver badge

      Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

      @heyrick

      "Commemorating the biggest dumbest most far reaching political decision in a lifetime with..."

      If you think thats dumb you should hear the cry babies about a new 50p coin

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

        It’s all ok. Once all the old crusties have died off ,the more enlightened generations that follow will grow the rejoin movement to repair the damage.

        1. martinusher Silver badge

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          >Once all the old crusties have died off

          Speaking as an apprentice crusty I think you're looking at the wrong demographic. I'd say its 'class' but that's not right either. I suggest reading Orwell's book "The Road to Wigan Pier" to discover the true nature of the beast. (I'm not too optimistic myself since Orwell failed to convince the Labour leadership in London of the true nature of the people they claimed to represent.)

          1. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

            "I think you're looking at the wrong demographic"

            I grew up on the other side of the world in one of the colonies.

            Britain has a long history of breaking deals, demanding special concessions and screwing its trading partners over - one of the things that virtually all members of the commonwealth have in common is that they got shafted by Britain at least once - and the ones that stuck with up to 1973 ended up facing 20-30 years of serious social and financial upheavals when they were unceremoniously dumped into the Big Bad World as the UK tore up its last vestiges of empire to join the Common Market.

            The Empire itself really ceased to exist in 1940 - Churchill handed everything over to the USA - the gold reserves, control of the high seas, the international trading currency, etc etc as part of the terms of the Lend-lease agreement (one of the biggest peaceful power transfers in history) and it was locked in with Bretton Woods after WW2. Brittania got the reminder rather forcefully chiselled into her forehead that nothing happened without USA permission with Suez and TSR2 (even the Falklands wouldn't have gone off if the USA had said no)

            As a colonial, what we saw was a very long stream of underqualified, overentitled brits showing up on our shores expecting to be paid more than qualified locals, for doing less than locals - and usually to a far lower quality and with a piss-poor attitude attitude to customer service whilst expecting us to be grateful that they'd come over to gift us with their mighty British Presence - which you can imagine gets short shrift most places. (There are a lot of decent people too)

            British Exceptionalism and "Superiority" has been drilled into the national psyche - It's why Britain is tolerated but not _liked_ (and why "Made in the UK" became a warning label synonymous with "utter shit inside") - the USA is simply doing it bigger and better these days.

            With that kind of Jingoism and constant running down of Johnny Furriner it's no wonder the poorly educated believe they're better off out of the EU. Having lived through "Small country has to try and establish itself in the Big Bad World", I KNOW how bad it's going to get - and am making plans to hit the eject button, or put a few Brexiters in the freezer.

        2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          As one of the old crusties with children and grandchildren to think about I hope to live to see that rejoining. However, as an alternative they all have their Irish passports and hence EU citizenship on account of said children having been born in NI.

          In the meantime, stuff your ageism where the sun don't shine.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          the rejoin movement to repair the damage.

          Without particularly revealing my own thoughts on the matter I think it would take more than a few old codgers moving on to convince most Brits that rejoining the EU 20 or 30 years after leaving it is a good idea. We would have to pay full fees - without Thatcher's 'rebate' - have significantly less clout in EU institutions than we do at present and likely as not be required to accept other things for which we currently have exemptions such as certain parts of agricultural policy and the Euro. Companies that have relocated during the hiatus will not be in any particular rush to return.

          And that doesn't consider that whatever trade deals we have been able to make unilaterally will have to be discarded, which could easily sour relationships with important trading partners such as China, New Zealand, Australia and the US.

          In other words rejoining would not return us to the position we were in before 2016 - we would be much weaker and have less autonomy.

          Mind you, if going it alone has even half of the downsides some people are predicting, maybe we will be so desperate by then for a bit of help that we will admit defeat and return with tail between legs.

          1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

            Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

            Starts with Without particularly revealing my own thoughts on the matter and then In other words rejoining would not return us to the position we were in before 2016 - we would be much weaker and have less autonomy.

            In other words conclusion based on speculation. No one really knows where Britain will be in 5 to 10 years or what the EU will look like, but we can assume the debate about membership will continue.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

              No one really knows where Britain will be in 5 to 10 years or what the EU will look like

              I was trying not to reveal my own thoughts about the current situation and then went on to speculate about the future. I think the EU moves so slowly that we can be reasonably sure that the conditions for re-entry in 20 or 30 years will be similar to the conditions for entry now and these are - as I understand it - pretty much as I stated.

              In other words by leaving we are giving up our few exemptions and perks in the expectation of getting a better deal elsewhere. If we rejoin, those perks will not be on the agenda so a UK rejoined to the EU would be in a weaker / less advantageous position than the UK has been up until now.

              What happens in between is unknown but it is unlikely to affect the conditions the EU would put on our re-entry.

              1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

                Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

                I was trying not to reveal my own thoughts about the current situation

                But you did and you still do… especially concerning pros and cons of membership and all those potential free trade agreements waiting out there. Many of these are going to require alignment with EU norms not to invalidate existing agreements. The US being a notable exception, of course, because it does not yet have a bilateral trade agreement with the EU.

                But, while I might be pessimistic, I don't know how things will turn out. However, as a citizen with dual nationality I'm now of the opinion that the EU should take a hard line in negotiations with the UK, which is increasingly the opinion of my anglophile friends.

          2. don't you hate it when you lose your account

            Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

            In 20 or 30 years I can see country's like Poland objecting to England rejoining the EU due to the impact of low wage uneducated workers flooding their jobs market.

            I say England because the rest of the UK will have woken up and left by then.

          3. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

            "which could easily sour relationships with important trading partners such as China, New Zealand, Australia and the US."

            China TOLD the UK it was better off being in the EU.

            New Zealand and Australia (plus Canada) cacked themselves laughing at the suggestion of CANZUK, stopped laughing when they realised it was a serious suggestion and then doubled down on the howls.

            The UK might have been an important trading partner once - but there's a solid reason that landrover went from 90% of the 4WD market to less than 2% in 18 months when Australians could get their hands on Landcruisers, or why British cars went from ~40% of the NZ market to under 3% in the same period when Japanese cars were able to be imported with the same tariff as British ones (and they were still significantly more expensive than the British ones) - or why when GM tried to relaunch "Vauxhall" in New Zealand, not even company reps would be seen dead in the cars until the entire shipment was rebadged as Opels (2 out of a shipment of 1000 Vectras were sold as Vauxhalls....)

            The UK is a tiny country, with very little of interest (that it makes itself) to sell Australia or New Zealand and it's STILL using its position in the global Copyright Cartels to make certain items imported to those countries cost 3-20 times as much as they do in the USA or EU, whilst US magazines can take 8 months to arrive (or not arrive at all) due to being forced to travel via London. It's not seen in the best light as it is and that's not going to change in a hurry without some major refoms that are unlikely to happen whilst the British hold onto the whole "Brittania" and exceptionalism myth.

            The UK pays out ~72% of its net tax income in state pensions and pension top ups with another 8-10% going out in other welfare payments. Business is sufficiently spooked that a good chunk of the ones who contribute to the taxation bottom line are moving out (the car industry is pretty much gone, and financials are looking about 60% moved out). Johnson has already (quietly) announced what amounts to a 25% cutback in state pensions for couples and I expect it will get a lot worse. I'm pretty sure that virtually all EAMA HQs will move out of the UK too.

            Welcome to North Elbonia. Please try our delicious Mud and pay no attention to the McElbonians.

        4. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          @werdsmith

          I think you upset some old crusties there. Enlightenment sounds great but isnt it something that is applied retrospectively? Children think they are enlightened until they meet the real world, some university students take it to wonderful degrees of self delusion.

          All these budding young socialists who would do it different this time and especially communists who would do it different this time all consider themselves and their opinion to be enlightened. Mud huters who feel the only choice is to destroy civilisation to save the earth think they are enlightened.

          So yes I am sure once some old crusties have died off the generations following will continue to be enlightened by the world that is, not as they dream it to be. And as always its for the newer generations to clean up the mess of the older ones. But also to build on the backs of those who came before and advanced our lives.

          And I would need some convincing that refusing to use a new coin because in a democracy they couldnt get the result they wanted is enlightened. Guess I will have to wait for that one.

        5. SundogUK Silver badge

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          By the time we have died off the EU won't exist anymore anyway.

          1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

            Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

            Holland will be the big fishing argument then, the EU will be preventing the Leavers boats from fishing over Enschede.

        6. Apprentice

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          Oh bore off. The EU will have imploded up its own backside by then.

      2. Martin-73 Silver badge

        Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

        We're not mad about the coin. We'll just donate every one we get to refugee charities matey

        1. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          @Martin-73

          "We're not mad about the coin. We'll just donate every one we get to refugee charities matey"

          If that is your view cool. But the reaction to it by some people willing to look like idiots in public is a lot over the top. And its their choice, they are free to reject the coin because they now hate the country or whatever but it shows a serious lack of maturity on their part.

        2. don't you hate it when you lose your account

          Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

          Just want you to know that upvote is from me.

      3. BebopWeBop

        Re: A perfect demonstration of eccentric British understatement

        I prefer the Daily Mash's chearful 'news' - Brexit 50p coins ‘can be sharpened and thrown at the rats trying to steal your last potato’ https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/brexit-50p-coins-can-be-sharpened-and-thrown-at-the-rats-trying-to-steal-your-last-potato-20181029178799

      4. Stoneshop
        Facepalm

        The commemorative 50p coin

        It's your own bloody Oxford comma, not one you had to import from the continent (which, until now, you wouldn't have had to pay duties on anyway, only postage)

  6. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Got Brexit done?

    That's like saying the the application you've been writing for three years is now ready for release because you finally managed to get it to compile with no error reports.

    Coder: It's compiled, it's ready for release!

    Sales: That's great, we'll get it posted on the website, what's it do?

    Coder: It trims your toenails.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Got Brexit done?

      It's a shame no-one has put on a big public Brexhibition somewhere, like maybe that large and once-controversial venue in North Greenwich.

      Then we could at least say that we had "Got Brexit Dome" :-D

      /runs away

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Got Brexit done?

        A Great Brexhibition is a fantastic idea.

        Think of all the Great British innovation that could be put on display to show the whole world we're open for business.

        Showcasing British Industry, Agriculture, Maritime prowess etc etc.

        Jacob Rees Mogg could head-up the steering committee!

        1. macjules

          Re: Got Brexit done?

          Great idea: we would only need a room in a small hotel somewhere. Should be a smash!

        2. Stoneshop

          Re: Got Brexit done?

          Jacob Rees Mogg could head-up the steering committee!

          If they have any sense the steers would strongly object.

  7. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Sadly, you cannot do the drying up with delight on the big day itself.

    Sort of somes it up, doesn't it. Johnson's big project fails to deliver and all I got was this lousy tea towel.

    1. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Sadly, you cannot do the drying up with delight on the big day itself.

      " Johnson's big project fails to deliver and all I got was this lousy tea towel."

      He's an unhip non-frood who doesn't know where my towel is.

  8. Anonymous Custard
    Trollface

    Lesson learned?

    They've probably learned from the Royal Mint and their commemorative 50p's.

    I'd expect that all that tat won't actually go into production until Monday after they're sure of the fact and that the date is correct this time...

    1. JetSetJim

      Re: Lesson learned?

      Quite possibly, although I'm planning on refusing those coins if I see one on the rare occasions I don't use plastic

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: Lesson learned?

        If you wanted to protest, you should probably collect every Brexit 50p coin you find and keep them at home out of circulation.

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

          Re: Lesson learned?

          Send them to me, I'll keep them safe.

      2. Ken Hagan Gold badge

        Re: Lesson learned?

        " I'm planning on refusing those coins if I see one"

        It's legal tender, so if someone owes you 5 quid and offers it in Brexit 50ps and you refuse, the debt is cancelled.

        1. DavCrav

          Re: Lesson learned?

          "It's legal tender, so if someone owes you 5 quid and offers it in Brexit 50ps and you refuse, the debt is cancelled."

          Before this edit, there previously was an incorrect statement here. I thought in the event of legal tender being refused the debtor had to go to court to have the debt discharged. It appears as though the creditor has to sue to recover, and would lose because legal tender was refused.

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
            Joke

            Re: Lesson learned?

            So, this "brexit bill" we have to pay the EU. Should be sending it lorry loads of 50p "brexit" coins?

            1. JetSetJim
              Headmaster

              Re: Lesson learned?

              Only if the Brexit bill was less than £10 (and presumably owed to a UK institution...)

              1. codejunky Silver badge

                Re: Lesson learned?

                @JetSetJim

                "Only if the Brexit bill was less than £10 (and presumably owed to a UK institution...)"

                Unfortunately the brexit bill is money already spent by the EU that the UK committed ourselves to paying. There is some amusement that the EU wants money for guarantees it made that it may never have to pay out. And then of course there is the potential question of share of the assets so if you really wanted the UK to be owed something you could look toward that argument.

          2. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Re: Lesson learned?

            Coins are only legal tender up to limits set in the coinage act 1971 (20p for 1&2p coins) and there are limits in law on the maximum "debt" any given denomination can be used to pay (for a payment, cash can be refused entirely)

            Above those limits a creditor can refuse it - this has been upheld in court on several occasions and the debtor ordered to pay using more suitable currency

            https://www.royalmint.com/help/trm-faqs/legal-tender-amounts/

            "Coins" in this context are also banknotes.

        2. JetSetJim

          Re: Lesson learned?

          Good job nobody owes me 5 quid then.

          "Legal tender has a narrow technical meaning which has no use in everyday life. It means that if you offer to fully pay off a debt to someone in legal tender, they can’t sue you for failing to repay." Bank of England

          End of. Shops can refuse to take the coins, similarly customers can refuse to take them in change (might lose the sale in the process, but whatever).

          1. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Re: Lesson learned?

            "Shops can refuse to take the coins"

            Shops can refuse to take cash, fullstop - and some do (card only)

            Legal tender is only required to be accepted to settle a debt, not as payment for a transaction.

      3. This post has been deleted by its author

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Lesson learned?

        Wouldn't it be more constructive to figure out a way to deface them- preferably in a manner that appropriately skewers the obnoxious triumphalism- then send them back into circulation?

        Unless they're going to keep remanufacturing new ones to replace them, the defaced coins will either remain in circulation as a constantly visible "fuck you" to the Brexiteers and their ilk that foisted them on us- and who'll have to keep using them- or they'll be removed from use.

        Which would be sad. *cough*

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

          Re: Lesson learned?

          Drill a small hole through them. Though I believe that should you do that, and then try and spend 'em, you'd be guilty of uttering false currency.

          Bitter? Why yes, thank you, at all those who have so kindly screwed up my plans for retirement and the next forty years or so.

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Lesson learned?

            IIRC, the act of drilling the hole is already a crime of defacement or something.

          2. H in The Hague

            Re: Lesson learned?

            "Bitter? Why yes, thank you, at all those who have so kindly screwed up my plans for retirement and the next forty years or so."

            I feel your pain. Mrs H and I are in the same boat :(

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Lesson learned?

          figure out a way to deface them

          Which is (still) a criminal offence.. defacing the cion of the the realm..

          1. Martin-73 Silver badge

            Re: Lesson learned?

            Well, since the brexshit, the rule of law means little. There was no mandate to strip people of their EU citizenship. So I will deface what I like (probably only pennies though, as stated elsethread, the brexshit 50p's go to eu based refugee charities.

  9. Warm Braw

    Maybe it's just because I saw 1917 at the weekend, but it does look like Boris is surrounded by a garland of barbed wire and that a stray flagpole entered at the groin exiting just behind his collar bone.

    1. Rol

      We can but dream.

  10. Dr_N

    Tea Towel

    Is there a commemorate Brexiteer teatowel holder they can jam it into?

    1. Rich 11

      Re: Tea Towel

      Other than Farage's gob?

  11. taxman

    FTFY

    Still, we have ours on order anyway (£2.50 postage is not included). While it won't be here in time to mop up the spilled Champagne/floods of tears (delete as appropriate by the end of the month), hopefully it will survive to the end of 2020, when the real excrement will start.

    Then it will be a bit damp, sport a few distressing stains and suffer a little fraying at the edges.

  12. Richard Parkin

    Mug

    Seems to me a mug with ’got Brexit done’ is remarkably appropriate, have they thought this through — the mug I mean, not Brexit ... oh wait ...

  13. Stoneshop
    Pirate

    Deliveries of the collection (which also includes a lapel pin, a mug

    Whose?

    Bozo himself? Tempting.

    Rees-Mogg? Doesn't need dry-pressing, a plus.

    Cunnings?

  14. chivo243 Silver badge

    this towel

    will most likely end up being thrown in by many. Seems governments are making people miserable for their own good?

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: this towel

      " Seems governments are making people miserable for their own good?"

      Please disambiguate "their".

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