back to article US court rules: Just because you can extract teeth while riding a hoverboard doesn't mean you should

Since Marty McFly swooped into pop culture on a hoverboard in 1985, the wheelless wonders have cemented their position as a litmus test for living in "The Future™" alongside other sci-fi paraphernalia like lightsabers, jetpacks and flying cars. And now they're here! Well, sort of. Back To The Future apologists will point out …

  1. STOP_FORTH

    Alaskan treats

    Do they even have Creme Eggs in the US?

    1. Flip
      Thumb Up

      Re: Alaskan treats

      Yep...

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadbury_Creme_Egg

      1. Peter X

        Re: Alaskan treats

        Ahhh... but do they have Argos?

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge

          Re: Alaskan treats

          Fortunately not (At least not here in Canadaland).

        2. jake Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Alaskan treats

          "Ahhh... but do they have Argos?"

          Sure. Example: Argo fuck yourself.

          (An example, not directed at you personally, Peter X ... have a homebrew :-)

      2. My other car WAS an IAV Stryker
        Thumb Down

        Re: Alaskan treats

        NOT the same.

        Cadbury licenses the recipe to Hershey*, who modifies it to be cheaper (sure TASTES cheaper). The colors on the wrapper are different, and the sizes have often been different also.

        * Hershey also licenses KitKat from Nestle. Again, the US version tastes cheaper. I can tell the differences in either brand when my sister-in-law brings them from Scotland, and boy do I prefer the "imports"!

        Hershey, fast food companies, and major beer brewers: giving the US the cheap crap it wants because it just doesn't know any better. (Does Disney belong in this list too? They're not as cheap but it is often crap...)

        1. imanidiot Silver badge

          Re: Alaskan treats

          Hershey doesn't use chocolate. What they produce is chocolate colored wax! I can only recommend staying far away from what the average chocolate in the land of the "free".

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Alaskan treats

            To be fair, Cadbury Kraft Foods Mondelez International doesn't make chocolate eggs, either. They make an overly sweet milk confection egg that almost, kinda tastes like pseudo-chocolate. On a fair day. If you squint.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Alaskan treats

        But do the yanks cover them in batter and deep fry them?

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Alaskan treats

          I'm sure somewhere in this vast country[0] you can find somebody who deep fries that kind of thing. There are mentally disturbed people all over the planet.

          [0] Probably New York City. Git a rope ...

          1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

            Re: Alaskan treats

            I think of "deep fry everything" as a cultural touchstone of Midwest and Plains state fairs, not the Northeast.

            In NYC I'd expect a deep-fried Creme Egg to be rejected for being gauche and insufficiently "ethnic". In New England it would likely be considered sinful. In Indianapolis or Lincoln, though, you could probably sell them all day long.

            (That said, I've been to the Nebraska State Fair, and deep-fried sugar would be an improvement. The county fair I go to in Michigan is bigger and more entertaining.)

    2. John 104

      Re: Alaskan treats

      Cadbury, as noted. And dang, those things are SO gross.

  2. IGotOut Silver badge

    Sedation for tooth extraction?

    That would most likely get you get stuck off in the UK as well as you need an anesthet... anethner.. the person that knocks you out.

    Usually these days (I've had to have it done) it is performed in a hospital.

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

      Knocking someone out (anesthetically!) is a fine line between the patient being awake and the patient being dead. That's why it's done in a hospital with a s**t load of medical backup.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

        The never forget lesson in anaesthesiology is that it's best described as "controlled poisoning".

      2. AdamT

        Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

        I think it was only about 2002 that general anesthetics at the dentist (in the UK) were banned...

        1. Willy Ekerslike
          Unhappy

          Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

          Reading this as my mouth is just unfreezing after a tooth (lower molar) extraction. Took three syringes of anaesthetic to fully freeze it and the dentist around an hour of drilling, prodding and pulling to get it out. Now a dull ache after paracetamol and ibuprofen. At one stage she was considering stopping and referring me to the dental hospital as the roots wouldn't budge - but she persisted and succeeded - full marks.

          I'd asked, before starting, if I could keep the tooth, once out, as it was crowned. Not possible as it had to go in medical waste - besides, it had to come out in several pieces. But, she let me keep the crown (palladium alloy, I thing - not one of my gold ones) - for the tooth fairy!!

          1. veti Silver badge

            Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

            You wanna make sure the tooth fairy gives you a decent price for that. Palladium is worth around $100 per gram, currently.

      3. Jay 2

        Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

        Indeed. I know a consultant anesthetist who said that that sort of thing was keeping someone slightly above death.

    2. Tom 38

      Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

      You should be thankful that you do not have painfully impacted wisdom teeth that need extracting. My dentist took 3.5 hours to take them out.

      I wasn't under a general, it was more like a date rape drug where you are completely zoned out and forget almost everything. My one memory is of the dentist slapping my face because I was going a bit too far under.

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

        Extracting impacted molars is better done by a proper dental surgeon, not a run-of-the-mill DDS. All credit to my dentist, whom I quite like; but that's a specialty procedure. Which is why she referred me to a dental surgeon to have my impacted supernumaries1 removed.

        And a good thing, too; one of them was bent in a full 180-degree arc. Took some work getting it out. The surgeon said it was one for the trophy case, but alas it turned out he was just kidding, and didn't have a trophy case.

        1Extra molars behind the "wisdom" (third) set. I still have my third molars, but the fourths had to come out.

    3. Sgt_Oddball
      Coat

      Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

      It could have been worse. No sign of a hanky on his head, nor woollen tank top, rolled up sleeves, braces (no, the other kind for keeping trousers past the navel), Wellington boots and a wooden mallet, all to shouts of 'Operation!' and 'Anesthetic!'.

      Would never have happened under the watch of Lemming of the BDA...

      Mines the one with the pocket book... On dentistry...from the BDA....

    4. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

      . the person that knocks you out.

      A Chav?

      1. MrDamage Silver badge

        Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

        Not quite. A chav just says "Oi! You!" before trying to knock you out roughly. The anesthetist often asks you your name, and to count from 100 downwards, before knocking you out gently.

    5. GBE

      Re: Sedation for tooth extraction?

      That would most likely get you get stuck off in the UK as well as you need an anesthet... anethner.. the person that knocks you out.

      The article mentioned IV sedation. That's not general anesthesia. With IV sedation the patient is conscious and responsive the whole time — they're just very, um, "relaxed". Often, the patient has a gap in memory after they sober up. That said, IV sedation still isn't without risk: it suppresses respiration, and you need to keep an eye on O2 saturation.

  3. Outski

    What on earth...?

    "If you were awake and not sedated when Dr Lookhart came into the operatory on a hoverboard, what would you have said to him?"

    What on earth is an operatory?

    1. DJV Silver badge

      Re: What on earth...?

      "came into the operatory"

      Obviously, a Tory who likes sex whilst at the opera!

      1. Rich 11

        Re: What on earth...?

        It ain't over until the fat lady comes.

        1. Aussie Doc
          Pint

          Re: What on earth...?

          Coffee, meet keyboard.

          You know the drill.

    2. MJB7

      Re: What on earth...?

      Well according to Merriam Webster, it means "a working space (as of a dentist or surgeon)"

      Must be left-pondian.

    3. jake Silver badge

      Re: What on earth...?

      "What on earth is an operatory?"

      Specifically, a dentist's surgery. According to the OED (second dead tree edition) the word has been in use in this meaning since the mid 17th century. Later, any surgery was known as an operatory. From the Latin operatorium, meaning workshop.

  4. DJV Silver badge

    I was once about to have a filling done...

    ...and the idiot dentist* managed to inject the anesthetic into the back of his hand instead of my mouth.

    The way he managed to do that was that he was holding the syringe in his right hand and his left hand was resting on my chin, holding my mouth open. However, before doing the injection he was more interested in yakking about water skiing with the nurse. So, while he was waffling, he was gesticulating with the syringe holding hand and the back of his left hand happened to get in the way. At least he didn't poke the needle in me! Well, not until he'd replaced the bent needle and injected me in the correct place, anyway.

    * He left the practice not long after - well, I was certainly going to let him treat me ever again. I suspect I wasn't the only victim who refused to be seen by him again!

    1. Lintfordpickle

      Re: I was once about to have a filling done...

      you mean you let him continue and finish the operation with his floppy hand?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I was once about to have a filling done...

      A couple of years ago I had the snip: Just that it's not a "snip" but a cauterization. All the relevant tubes are cauterized using a small electrically heated device. The doctor kept on electrocuting himself with this device.

      1. Zarno
        Gimp

        Re: I was once about to have a filling done...

        It may not have been accidental zappage...

        Non-anon because icon was too good to pass up.

        1. Zarno
          Facepalm

          Re: I was once about to have a filling done...

          I should note, based on further review of the wording of my comment, after the timeout window, that I am not the above AC.

          Makes me wonder how the AC's with icons do it...

          1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            Re: I was once about to have a filling done...

            I suspect the choice of icon is in the UI layer, so they're probably using fiddler to chuck json at the comments API.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Black Helicopters

              Re: I was once about to have a filling done...

              I found out how to do it.

              And no, I can't tell you, the black helicopter is coming...

      2. Psmo

        Re: I was once about to have a filling done...

        Sounds like he should have paid you...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "If you were awake and not sedated when Dr Lookhart came into the operatory on a hoverboard, what would you have said to him?"

    Nothing your honour, as I had his tool in my mouth.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Misread the title at first

    At first I thought both patient and dentist were on hoverboards. (Not that this is not bad enough.)

    1. MOH

      Re: Misread the title at first

      No!! That would be madness!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Misread the title at first

        I'm imagining a fanfare, then twirling spin screen wipe to Munch's "The Scream", followed by a slow dissolve segue into a scene of dental hygienist lemmings going over a cliff...

    2. Giles C Silver badge

      Re: Misread the title at first

      As did I, someone with good photoshop skills ought to be able to mock that up

  7. chivo243 Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Dislike dentists anyway

    As someone who has logged many hours in the dentist chair, I can safely say this makes it even worse. I'd rather see the chiropractor.

    1. Chris G

      Re: Dislike dentists anyway

      I feel I should warn you, chiropractors are not very good at manipulating teeth.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear America...

    ...hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction. Please stop using the word unless Marty McFly is involved. Thank you.

    If a board with 2 wheels on it is a hoverboard, then by the same reasoning I'm just about to pop down to the shops in my flying car. And no, it's not a DeLorean...

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

      There ARE hoverboards, though not retail. Very noisy and very short battery life demos.

      1. ibmalone

        Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

        Ref: this nutter. Though it requires getting more intimate with kerosene than you might like.

        1. Mage Silver badge

          Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

          The "flyboard" is more an insane jetpack than hoverboard. Possibly saner than the backpack as early ones needed asbestos lagging on bum and legs.

          1. ibmalone

            Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

            There are sane jetpacks?!

      2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

        To be fair, the only two things standing in the way of proper hoverboards are the invention of safe portable pocket-sized nuclear-reactors and reactionless thrust*. Both are things that, judging from the sheer amount of magical thinking that seems to be employed in running the world, I'm postiive are just around the corner.

        *or possibly room-temperature superconductors; technically you could have an "antigravity" device right now based on existing superconductors, except you'd have to bathe yourself in liquid helium, run a ridiculous current through something just underneath your feet, and follow the Earth's magnetic field lines around, which would only really be practical at the equator.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

          All you need to do is paint the bottom of the board with Cavorite.

          1. hplasm
            Unhappy

            Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

            "All you need to do is paint the bottom of the board with Cavorite."

            I opened my tin of Cavorite, and it all buggered off into the sky.

          2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

            and hold your breath

          3. MrDamage Silver badge

            Re: .hoverboards do not exist outside of fiction

            No, just a piece of buttered toast, strapped butter side up, onto the back of a cat.

            Insert combined cat/toast module into a suitable container, and you suddenly have a hoverboard.

  9. Sean o' bhaile na gleann

    I can't see that anyone has posted it yet, so I will...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF_C3bO8WZ0

  10. jake Silver badge

    I've seen "hoverboard" tooth extractions ...

    ... but they didn't target a problem tooth, and I rather think that they weren't actually intended.

    I also saw a dude face-plant on a Segway once. Came up spitting blood and Chiclets like an NHL player.

  11. Laura Kerr

    Steve Martin is obviously his hero:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM

  12. W.S.Gosset

    Richard Currie

    As with a very pleasing percentage of ElReg's articles, I rather wish I could give a big thumbs-up to the article, and by implication to the author.

    This one's language in particular had me grinning like the old days, sufficiently to finally prompt me to actually say something explicitly.

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