back to article Want to live long and prosper? Avoid pirated, malware-laden Star Wars free vid streams – and pay to watch instead

Movie fans eager for an early peek at the new Star Wars installment are putting themselves at risk of malware infection. This according to the crew from Kaspersky Lab, who warn that criminals are disguising malware as free streams of The Rise of Skywalker in hopes of scoring a few easy infections on unsuspecting users. The …

  1. Charlie van Becelaere
    Thumb Up

    Kudos

    for the mixing of franchises!

    No doubt it will cause great angst and pain much as the below-referenced shirt:

    https://www.computergear.com/1a023-r2d2-dalek-loved-star-trek-t-shirt.html

    1. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: Kudos

      That's absolutely hilarious. That site reminds me of ThinkGeek in the pre-2005 era.

    2. BebopWeBop
      Happy

      Re: Kudos

      Hmm - the militant wing of the R2D2 gamily

    3. Erebus_77

      Re: Kudos

      So say we all!

    4. Kane
      Thumb Up

      Re: Kudos

      Frell, that shirt made my eyeballs twitch!

    5. MisterHappy

      I have that t-Shirt

      It's always fun to see the double take followed by a smile

    6. jelabarre59

      Re: Kudos

      Kudos for the mixing of franchises

      I thought they should have tossed in some "U.F.O." or "Space 1999" there. Maybe even "Uchū Senkan Yamato" ("Starblazers" for the American audience).

  2. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Terminator

    Install Dr. Daystrom's video codec to continue? Sure, why not!

  3. Stuart Halliday
    Facepalm

    Why the pictures of Star Trek?

    1. Mephistro

      The first comment in this discussion gives a nice hint

      Nuff said.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      >Why the pictures of Star Trek?

      That's another thing JJ Abrahms should have been let nowhere near.

      1. mihares
        Pint

        JJ Abrahms

        Seconded. Have one of these —>

      2. israel_hands

        I'm pretty sure JJ stands for Jar Jar. He's the only other cockwomble who's done as much damage to the franchise as Abrahms.

        1. Wade Burchette

          I don't know ... what Rian Johnson did to the last one made me miss Jar Jar. The only thing worse in the Star Wars universe was the Holiday Special.

          1. tip pc Silver badge

            "The only thing worse in the Star Wars universe was the Holiday Special."

            don't bother watching Rise of Skywalker then.

            its truly that bad.

            It's like they took inspiration from return of the jedi, phantom menace, holiday special and mashed them with the worst bits of 7 & 8.

            complete waste of time and money. In this day and age its a waste of carbon.

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              "The only thing worse in the Star Wars universe was the Holiday Special."

              Ewoks the musical, on ICE

              1. Vector
                Happy

                Whell...

                They are owned by Disney now.

          2. jelabarre59

            I don't know ... what Rian Johnson did to the last one made me miss Jar Jar (Abrams).

            Seeing "Disney Wars" made me miss "Revenge of the Sith". Probably made me miss "Plan 9 From Outer Space" too.

        2. jelabarre59

          Jar Jar Abrams

          I'm pretty sure JJ stands for Jar Jar.

          That's what YouTuber 'Nerdrotic' refers to him as.

      3. Alister

        Yep.

        Fucking lens flare dickhead

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Childcatcher

      Why the pictures of Star Trek?

      lol no spyllers.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's because the new Star Trek film, "The Rise of Skywalker" is out.

  4. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. beep54

    I'm safe

    I gave up on all things Star Wars after I wasted perfectly good money on The Phantom Menace

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm safe

      >I gave up on all things Star Wars

      Yep, they should have stopped after Return of the Jedi but Dollarwood just can't resist milking a dead cow, The Empire Strikes Back was the best of them.

      1. James O'Shea

        Re: I'm safe

        Rogue One was pretty good. It's probably second best, after Empire. For one thing, it revealed that Annie Skywalker was, at best, the third most evil bastard in the Empire after the Emperor himself and Grand Moff Tarkin.

      2. Halfmad

        Re: I'm safe

        Lucas didn't involve his (ex?) wife with the script for these and she's the only reason the original trilogy wasn't a complete bloody mess.

        1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          Re: I'm safe

          I've read that Joseph Campbell also did a lot of script-doctoring, at least for the first film.

        2. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

          Re: I'm safe

          @Halfmad : "Lucas didn't involve his (ex?)"

          I didn't realise Lucas had been shagging Akira Kurosawa : -)

    2. _LC_
      Thumb Up

      Re: I'm safe

      Exactly, Star Wars is a bad example. I wouldn’t watch any more of that crap. Not even, if they sent me a Blu-ray disk along with the player for free.

    3. FuzzyWuzzys
      Facepalm

      Re: I'm safe

      "I gave up on all things Star Wars after I wasted perfectly good money on The Phantom Menace."

      I often have this discussion with my teenage daughter ( I'm mostly pushing her buttons )...

      Me: "There's only 3 films in the Star Wars franchise, IV, V and VI."

      D: "Dad, there's 9 and the last 3 have been the best. Why won't you watch the last three?"

      Me: "Absolute codswallop! There has and will only ever be three SW films. The other supposed 6 films are not true SW films and never will be."

      D: "They tell the story after the Empire fell, the real story so we get find out how the Rebellion fared post revolution. The characters are deepers and more meaningful, it's not all gunfights there human interest."

      Me: "There! Right there! We don't want girly lovey-dovey stuff in SW, we want incest, vengeful family members with axes to grind, camp robots and we want people shooting and hitting each other with dangerous laser weapons! If I want to watch naff love films I'll watch films written by Richard Curtis and starring Hugh Grant!"

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Simpsons did it!

      y u no read hints in comments above? tribbles on the brain?

      1. Carpet Deal 'em
        Joke

        Re: The Simpsons did it!

        I'm thinking a failed Goa'uld takeover left one rotting in there.

  7. quartzz

    swim searched for Formula 1 streams... swim came across some sites that said "enter card details for registration, these won't be touched". swim closed the window.....

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    malware-laden Star Wars streams

    You mean they managed to make it even worse ? I think some kind of medal for exceptional achievement is in order then.

    Went to see it yesterday. It wasn’t as bad as Phantom Menace and its ilk, but that’s about it.

    1. jelabarre59

      Re: malware-laden Star Wars streams

      You mean they managed to make it even worse ? I think some kind of medal for exceptional achievement is in order then.

      Nah, the malware rewrites the script, removes the lens-flares and fixes the pacing.

  9. getHandle
    Happy

    The troll is strong with this one

    lol

  10. OssianScotland
    Flame

    There have only been three Star Wars movies...

    Just imagine if George Lucas had, say, sold out to Disney, and the disaster they would make of it. Let us be thankful that never will happen!

    1. jmch Silver badge

      Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

      To be fair, the Disney 'trilogy', while not a patch on the original 3, is far better than the utter shite in episodes 1,2 and (to a lesser extent) 3

      1. Wade Burchette

        Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

        Nope. The Last Jedi is, by far, worse than anything in the second trilogy. The only thing worse would be the Holiday Special. The Last Jedi was so bad that I decided never to see Solo or this latest one -- I don't even know the name of it.

        1. Quantum Leaper

          Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

          The Reviews are coming in, the current is all FAN service without a Story.

        2. not.known@this.address

          Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

          Wade, if you think of anything post acquisition by the House of Mouse as a vaguely similar, but totally unconnected, set of stories then it's not quite so bad - a bit like if Luke fell asleep in the shower and woke up 7 years later to be told it was all a dream and Lucas is buying it all back when he sees what a mess the Mouse has made... (could the real fans do a crowdfunder to get it back for what the Mouse paid him? And get films based on the Expanded Universe, not the current... offerings)

          Solo was actually quite good, especially in light of the Mouse-ified 'trilogy' (Farce Awakens, Lost Jedi and the latest, if the critics are right) so I'd recommend it, and Rogue One as well (although the CGI'd Tarkin and Leia aren't as good as many seem to think)...

          1. Robert Helpmann??
            Childcatcher

            Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

            ...although the CGI'd Tarkin and Leia aren't as good as many seem to think.

            I thought the brief appearance of Leia strayed deep into the uncanny valley and didn't make it out intact. Tarkin was... better.

          2. whitepines
            Unhappy

            Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

            As someone who has had to repeatedly clean mice and their associated mess out of electrical gear (long story, the little buggers have a taste for control wiring) I have to say:

            What else would anyone expect when the House of Mouse moves in, other than excrement all over what was previously there?

            This is why we need limited copyright. So that the next generations can start expanding on existing culture without fear of lawyer mice...

            1. jelabarre59

              Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

              What else would anyone expect when the House of Mouse moves in, other than excrement all over what was previously there?

              What else would you expect from a company that would outright rip-off the Godfather of Manga (Osamu Tezuka), and then have the balls to turn around and try to get an injunction against Tezuka's studio's film based on the *original* property? (see "Kimba the White Lion" vs "Lion King").

              1. Mephistro

                Re: There have only been three Star Wars movies...

                These Disney guys make Nazghouls look like honest and charitable gentlemen, indeed.

  11. Tom 7

    Or just wait till its on TV

    I doubt there will be any spoilers - there haven't this millennium falcon.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fake torrents too.

    Some simply copy your search term and add a .mp3 or .mpg tag at the front.

    How did I discover this? Well, my cat did. It walked over the keyboard and several torrent sites responded with that exact string of 20 characters, with

    "-live version.mp3"

    "-full movie.mpg"

    embedded at the end. The odds of having that exact name, 20 or 30 characters long? Only a Shakespeare Monkey can answer that.

    Blocking those IPs increased tremendously the odds of finding a clean copy.

    A preview feature in my torrent client allows to peek at the chunk you downloaded. If you can't see it, fake it is.

    PS. I don't care about Star Wars anymore, they ruined it. That Rey chick is a freaking Mary Sue that dominated the Force when Luke took some 10 years and YODA to train him. I didn't even bother to download this one.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Mary Sue

      That Rey chick is a freaking Mary Sue that dominated the Force when Luke took some 10 years and YODA to train him

      I've heard that said a thousand different ways by militant star wars fans , seems to be the main objection to the film.

      I've come to the conclusion - i dont give a fuck. I can learn to accept that Rey is a natural with the force, and can force-skype Kylo or whatever intuitively. It dosent look that hard anyway: "*feel* the force , use your mind , think .. blah blah

      Ahhh . that feels so much better , now i can enjoy the film without being a bitchy militant manbaby.

      1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: Mary Sue

        I've come to the conclusion - i dont give a fuck. I can learn to accept that Rey is a natural with the force, and can force-skype Kylo or whatever intuitively. It dosent look that hard anyway: "*feel* the force , use your mind , think .. blah blah

        But.. but.. a female jedi is empowering. And enriching given she can perpetuate the franchise and create new jedi! Which could be amusing or just messy potty training jedi baby. Toy available now for only $99 from your nearest Disney store. Plus turning Rey into a breeder would no doubt make sections of the Internet explode.

        On the plus side, Disney having their own streaming means it'll be a long while till it appears on Netflix or Prime, meaning I won't be tempted by the dark side. Which also means I won't have to <shrug> at Emo Ren, who IMHO just isn't as convincingly dark as good'ol Vader.

      2. Carpet Deal 'em
        Facepalm

        Re: Mary Sue

        Ignoring that you basically just agreed with her being a Mary Sue*, Rotten Tomatoes doesn't rate this one much better than The Phantom Menace. So either scores of professional critics are "militant manbabies" or it's as bad as your need to dismiss criticism implies.

        *Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mary Sue

          you basically just agreed with her being a Mary Sue

          ok , ture , but ... when a man is a Mary Sue no one cares. It just seems to be term invented for hating women if there isnt another obvious excuse to do so.

          If a mans a chiselled jawed hero everyones like "what guy"...

          Hence theres no male equivalent term.

          1. Carpet Deal 'em
            FAIL

            Re: Mary Sue

            A) Yes, people care about male Mary Sues.

            B) "Mary Sue" was the name of a character in a Star Trek fanfic that parodied the trope; there's no such male prototype to use thusly.

            C) Despite the lack of such a prototype, there very much exist terms(plural) to use for male Mary Sues: "Gary Stu", "Marty Sue", etc.

            1. Mage Silver badge

              Re: Mary Sue

              A female Wesley Crusher?

              I always suspected Wesley was the script writer either trolling the studio or the fans. My theory is that he was meant to be annoying to distract from fact too many ST-TNG episodes were just Soap in Space.

              1. jelabarre59

                Re: Mary Sue

                I always suspected Wesley was the script writer either trolling the studio or the fans.

                Actually, he was specifically created by Eugene "Gene" Wesley Roddenberry. Notice the middle name...

          2. jelabarre59

            Re: Mary Sue

            ok , ture , but ... when a man is a Mary Sue no one cares. It just seems to be term invented for hating women if there isnt another obvious excuse to do so.

            If a mans a chiselled jawed hero everyones like "what guy"...

            Hence theres no male equivalent term.

            Actually, according to TV Tropes the term is 'Marty Stu/Gary Stu'. And it's just as much of a valid complaint for male characters.

      3. Luiz Abdala

        Re: Mary Sue

        She could be "one with the force", but the movie director gave no background to her. There is one specific youtube video where the guy discuss this, and I agree with him, they gave no justification for her to be so attuned with the force.

        They gave it to kid Anakin, where his mid-chlorians were "off the chart". He could have empowered Rey to his heart's content, but he should have given more of a background story. No such thing happened.

        And Princess Lea, all of a sudden, "woke" in the vacuum of her exploded ship and propelled herself back into a vessel. What the flipping $deity. BUUUUUT, she was the daughter of Anakin, just as Luke.

        They said Rey was "a great pilot". That could be further explored, like her "dodging" stuff in a manner only Jedi do, just like the pod racing with young Anakin, as the young Rey pulled her shenanigans to get her hands on the Millenium Falcon, for example...

        I blame budget.

        As it is, she is a god-damn Mary Sue, she can do no wrong, she is flipping perfect, with no story to back her up.

        1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

          Re: Mary Sue

          I blame budget.

          As it is, she is a god-damn Mary Sue, she can do no wrong, she is flipping perfect, with no story to back her up.

          I blame Hollywood. Or possibly Abrams. Or possibly all of the above, plus focus groups. And lens flare. But it can't be easy helming a blockbuster franchise or 3, and keeping everyone happy. I've not seen the new film, and no real plans to, but sounds like it suffers the usual style over substance. Skip character development, suspend disbelief and look! Space battles! And roll credits!

          But I guess that's been part of the struggle. Original (+/- slot in the series) movies had a simple and classic premise. Simple farm boy seeks adventure, finds it, discovers himself along the way, redeems baddie & roll credits... Which seems a lot like Rey's story, with less backstory and a helping of insta-Jedi midichlorian shakes, and less listening to old boomers. Da yoof generation emerges fully-formed and able to save (or defeat) Empires. The original trilogy wasn't exactly Shakespeare, but the latest batch just seems to borrow heavily from those that came before instead of taking it in a new direction.

          And it has ewoks. Fricking ewoks! I guess because they're easy to have made into soft-toys in a sweatshop somewhere. Somehow, I doubt this will be the last jedi.. but that depends on the accountants I guess.

    2. DropBear

      Re: Fake torrents too.

      That "we have the random string you have searched for" bullshit is not new at all - it's likely older than our Sun. Been seeing it basically forever. I'm avoiding it practically subconsciously by now...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Living dangerously

    I've often watched movies and series on dodgy streaming sites (and downloaded some software from torrents and other dodgy file sharing servers); I don't think I've been infected by malware, but sometime I wonder if it's just because I've not spotted it yet (especially since I've stopped using any anti virus when I switched to Win10).

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Re: Living dangerously

      same here.

      all you have to do is not install downloadhelper.exe

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Living dangerously

      I've often watched movies and series on dodgy streaming sites (and downloaded some software from torrents and other dodgy file sharing servers); I don't think I've been infected by malware, but sometime I wonder if it's just because I've not spotted it yet (especially since I've stopped using any anti virus when I switched to Win10).

      That's what I use the command-line "anime-downloader" for, just pull down the entire run at once (or at least the first 4 episodes of "Martian Successor Nadesico" when I could only find DVDs 2-6). Still prefer watching on legal sites when possible, but a lot of older shows aren't being streamed on legitimate sites.

  14. David Roberts
    Trollface

    Live Linux distro?

    If you just want to try and watch dodgy streams of dodgy movies, why not just fire up Linux from a Live CD or a memory stick?

    I am assuming that most malware won't find anything to infect.

    Or are they just phishing for people who are too low tech to grasp the concept?

    There should be a market for a "safe streamer" where you just load the CD/DVD or memory stick and torrent away.

    I'm waiting for it to take off then releasing some fake "safe streamer" devices at budget prices.

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Re: Live Linux distro?

      "too low tech to grasp the concept?"

      Of course thats who they are aimimg at - only 1% of people can "fire up Linux from a Live CD" ?

      in fact im not sure i can, i can "fire up" (run as opposed to install?) Linux from a stick or CD , but - whats a "Live" CD?

      1. DropBear

        Re: Live Linux distro?

        You can "run as opposed to install" Linux from a CD _because_ what you have is a live CD, meant to let you do exactly that, roughly since data CDs were a thing. Otherwise you'd be stuck staring at a text prompt asking you onto which disk you want your Linux installed, instead of just firing it up fully in RAM.

    2. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      "safe streamer"

      "safe streamer"

      isnt that a smart TV?

  15. tkioz

    Ugg. I wish that more movies did day 1 legit streaming. I don't pirate, but I loath going to the cinema, it's loud, expensive, and full of rude assholes. I just want to sit on my couch with a few friends and eat food that doesn't taste like cardboard while enjoying it. So yeah I can totally understand why people pirate.

    1. tip pc Silver badge

      most people just don't want to pay the fee.

      cinema release means the film can earn twice, once in the cinema again on home release (stream, dvd,bluray etc).

      1. tkioz

        You're likely onto something with the double dipping, but I'd strongly dispute the people don't want to pay thing simply because as more and more legitimate convenient options opened up, so did the rate of piracy.

      2. Muscleguy

        If you wait it will end up in your local charity shop. Some nice folks buy the DVD/BR then rip them and then donate the disc to their favourite charity. People donate absolutely new stuff, get an unwanted present? donate it. Too embarrassed to send something back or don't want the hassle/aggro? donate it.

        I volunteer in a BHF charity shop so I know. Don't wait too long though, it isn't clear how long it will be before it isn't worth stocking DVD's, old games and CD's any more. Though some hip youngsters will go through the CD's looking for interesting old stuff they don't know about.

  16. NonSSL-Login
    Holmes

    Tell me something new...

    Seems every so often around the launch of a new movie or tv series, an AV company or publication runs a story about how Kodi boxs catch fire (real story is some some Chinese box's dont have a CE certified power adapter) or trying to watch x, y or z on a pirate site will lead to your bank account being emptied.

    Almost as if the MPA (piss artists formally known as MPAA) chucked them a loads of money to come up with some anti-piracy words. Carnegie Melon seems to enjoy the yearly grants from them and continue to have weirdly biased reports for an 'independent' report.

    No real story from Kasperky who I usually respect for their malware breakdowns and general work, except the usual <something popular> gets more attention from malware authors or controllers. Whatever is popular gets more attention and has always been the case.

  17. TheVogon

    No malware in the BitTorrent releases..

  18. a_yank_lurker

    Another Option

    Given the problem quality (more accurate lack there of) there is the option of not watching it at all.

    1. NonSSL-Login

      Re: Another Option

      You mean the fake 4k because it is upscaled from 2k or something similar?

      Or the fact they put it in a HDR container to get your TV in HDR mode but none of the Star Wars movies seem to have authored for HDR properly and the nit difference between stuff is not much different from SDR?

      Star wars movies thrown on Disney+ as 4K HDR and it's anything but. Same as their TV series The Mandalorian.

      1. a_yank_lurker

        Re: Another Option

        No, not watching it all no matter how or when it is released or what format it is released. If you do not watch it ever you are invulnerable to accidentally getting malware from the version you are watching.

        I have not watch any of the Star Wars farces since the first three even when they are free on the idiot box. And almost certainly will not watch the latest farce any time soon if ever.

  19. Cynic_999

    Here's a safe Starwars download

    Telnet "towel.blinkenlights.nl"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Here's a safe Starwars download

      I've always preferred http://asciimation.co.nz/

      Much cleaner streaming, although it's not QUITE finished.

      1. Cynic_999

        Re: Here's a safe Starwars download

        How can loading via a web browser be "cleaner streaming" than getting it via a direct Telnet port? Besides, having it play on a command-line window or text-only terminal (or a DOS OS) is Wa-a-a-y cooler!

        1. NonSSL-Login

          Re: Here's a safe Starwars download

          No encryption on Telnet so the packets can be easily MITM'ed. At least HTTPS is TLS and can be secure from that so theoretically cleaner and safer /Pedantic

  20. TomPhan
    FAIL

    Troma, Full Moon, Kanopy, Brown Sugar, Boomerang

    Given the ever growing number of legit streaming services, and the exclusives each one has, it's easy for someone to search and not know the link they're trying is dodgy.

  21. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    simple

    Simple... if the movie stream claims you need a plugin or extension, it's fake and just trying to load spyware on your computer. If it claims you have to sign up, fake, they're getting your info to sell to spammers or whatever. They always redirect from a (fake) video-specific page to a generic, site-wide "signup" page, that's what tells you they don't even have the video.

    Of course with Star Wars not being out there will be no real streams yet.

  22. jelabarre59

    movie ticket

    Or, you could always just buy a ticket to watch the movie in a theater...

    OR I could wait until it's on my regular streaming services (no longer have CableTV, and we're in a dead spot for broadcast TV), and a day where I'm SEVERELY bored and have no other thing to watch.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    wasted bandwidth

    For that matter, sometimes torrenting something is just wasted bandwidth.

    Consider Series 11 of "Dr. Whatever" (I won't insult the show it's supposedly part of by using the name). I torrented the whole season, then after watching a few episodes just deleted the remainder.

  24. onebignerd

    Have zero interest in seeing the new Star Wars movies. Pretty sure Spock is not in them.

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