Christmas in tatters for Nottinghamshire tots after mayor tells them Santa's too busy

The age-old deception that is Christmas has been unravelled for a bunch of tots in Nottinghamshire after an ill-conceived comment by the Mayor of Rushcliffe. According to the BBC, Mayor Christine Jeffreys told assembled kiddiwonks at a festive lights switch-on event in West Bridgford on Saturday that "Santa was too busy to …

[macjules]

I have it on good authority ..

.. that Jeremy Corbyn is now en route to Nottinghamshire in his Leave Campaign Labour Battle Bus to play Santa to the poor children*.

(* providing that none of them are of Semitic origin ... not that Labour is antisemitic in any way you understand. Right?)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

It's OK, with Corbyn's amazing budget skills he'll undoubtedly buy presents (not bribes at all) for all the children in the land and pretend that he is Santa.

Obviously he'll fund this by taxing everyone but claiming that he's only taxing the rich (good news everyone, we're all rich now!) yet somehow still have to borrow billions to make up the shortfall (which is OK because it'll be down to a future government to pay it back).

Oh, sorry, did I get political there?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

They aren't funded by taxes, they're funded by bonds! Bonds that not only fund todays presents but also pay the bearers of the bonds interest. Everybody wins!

See? We don't have to borrow anything

[Wellyboot]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Who's going to buy these bonds?

[veti]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

I want to say "whoosh", but to be honest I'm not sure which poster was first to miss the point.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

I'm a member of the Labour shadow cabinet - it wasn't sarcasm.

[Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

I'm a member of the Labour shadow cabinet, and so is my wife!

In addition, I am also Brian, Spartacus and Gilbert.

[KittenHuffer]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Um .... Basildon?

[Lazlo Woodbine]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

You might want to inquire where all the hundreds of billions the Tories borrowed has gone while they've been cutting public services to the bone.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

those billions of cut have been made to decrease the national debt which was (is?), what else, snowballing. Or to make it grow just a tiny bit slower. Guess how this respectable plan has gone? Cause I stopped hearing about it along the time Osbourne gave up on the idea and went back to media. As to "cuts", miraculously / who would have thought, continue...

[Lazlo Woodbine]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

So what you're saying is, the Tories have borrowed hundreds of billions to pay down the national debt?

Isn't that kind of like using a credit card to pay your mortgage?

[DontFeedTheTrolls]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Austerity - less spending.

The responsible way you ensure you can continue to pay your Mortgage.

[Kay Burley ate my hamster]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Except they have increased the mortgage.

[genghis_uk]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Because, despite the general reporting we have not really been living under austerity...

We tightened our belts and reduced spending but at no point have government spent less than they have been receiving (i.e. producing a surplus to pay down the debt). The debt has just grown more slowly.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

“Except they have increased the mortgage.”

Remember the “sorry, we spent all the money” note?

Austerity has reduced the government deficit (difference between annual income and expenditure) from ~£50bn in 2009 to ~£100bn in 2010 when the Tories came to power.

Since then, the Tory austerity program has reduced the deficit to ~£19bn but each year has run a deficit and so debt has grown.

BUT debt has grown more slowly than if the deficit had not been cut, reducing annual interest payments from what they could have been with funding cuts.

The question is whether any government would run a surplus to reduce debt - based on the manifestos of the three main parties but ignoring the SNP due to devolution (and a lack of familiarity with their manifesto), none of the options provides a balanced budget and a reduction in debt.

[Terry 6]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Remember, that note was a traditional joke that has been passed from one chancellor to the next for a long time. It was a sign of things to come that they made use of it like that.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Joking or not, it serves as a useful reminder for the state of the finances at the time.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Austerity, you understand, is not for the people demanding austerity. They're fine, thankyouverymuch.. Austerity is a thing that other people should have.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

To pay the consultancy firm contracts that stipulate they get a percentage of the cuts they propose/help implement?

[LucreLout]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

You might want to inquire where all the hundreds of billions the Tories borrowed has gone while they've been cutting public services to the bone.

YAWN. There have been NO CUTS. Its a union myth and a lie. Public spending has risen year on year every year - that is a fact. There's no more left to spend, contrary to what your labour candidate may tell you.

Where has the money gone you ask? It's gone where it always goes - on public sector pay and pensions. Where it now also goes is on interest payments on the national debt, which is really just money we spend on what we 'want' today that our children pay back for us tomorrow.

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Public spending has risen year on year every year

Let me introduce you to a little thing called 'inflation'. Of course spending has gone up but I can tell you that, working in a public body as I do, that our spending has gone down. And, if you adjust for inflation, gone down fairly precipitously.

The Tories say that they have 'increased spending on xxx' without mentioning that they were the ones that cut the budgets in the first place (and yes, I know that the Blair and Brown governments were guilty of that as well).

I'm no fan of Corbyn though - I fully agree that neither he nor Boris are fit to be PM. Mind you, I'm not sure that *any* of the party leaders are..

[LucreLout]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Let me introduce you to a little thing called 'inflation'.

Yes, Blair & Brown dumped money wholesale into public services way ahead of inflation year on year for more than a decade. Prudent public bodies would have used that money to restructure and become more efficient as it is obvious to all that on a long run timeline the public sector cannot consume more than an inflationary amount of money for existing bodies or no new agencies can be formed without it sucking in a greater share of GDP year on year leaving less and less money in the pot for the productive sector of the economy.

The Tories say that they have 'increased spending on xxx'

And they'd be right. We currently spend more than £50 billion annually than we did in 2010 on public services. That's an extra billion pounds a week! You do realize there's only 30 million income tax payers right? And of them fewer than 4 million higher rate tax payers that put in more than they take out?

There's no magic money tree/forest. The public sector already consumes record amounts of money and tax rates are already about as high as they have ever been as a share of GDP. There's no more money left to come. From this point on the public sector is all about efficiency, because there's no alternatives, no matter what your labour candidate or union rep tells you.

Edited to add:

The fact is that once base rates rise, the 6% of public spending that makes up interest on the national debt (more than the defence budget) will have to rise with it, thereby forcing reductions everywhere else in spending. It cannot be otherwise. Of course, if Corbyn and McMao get in and let rip, the country literally won't be able to afford an NHS by 2021 because the debt pile will be taking over its share spending. There's no free money - what is borrowed must be repaid and the interest paid constantly until it has been.

[Mooseman]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

NO magic money tree? Of course.

And I'm sure the struggling services, local councils and NHS are just making it up, right?

[Martin-73]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Yes but not very sensibly

[Evil Harry]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

He's probably on his way to Nottingham to get away from Andrew Neil after the dumpster fire that was the BBC interview ...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Palestinians are "of Semitic origin". Most Ashkenazi Jews are either not, or not identifiably so.

You really need to disentangle Semitic origin and anti-Semitism, which was originally a name coined to describe people who were anti-Jewish but has now, sadly, been extended to people who are merely anti-settlement. Dr. Mirvis seems unable to make the distinction.

Does the Labour Party have an anti-Semitism problem? Well, yes. It's very deep rooted in British society, and most likely much more so among Conservatives.

Did your comment contribute anything? Nope, factually incorrect, unfunny, crude.

[Hollerithevo]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

I think you will find that Ashkenazi Jews and all other Jews are of Semitic origin, because they came from the Middle East. 'Diaspora' is a word you might want to delve into.

[Carpet Deal 'em]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Presumably this is a reference to the theory of Khazar descent which crops up from time to time. My understanding is that the evidence is just ambiguous enough to avoid shutting it down completely.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

No, it isn't. You presume without evidence.

Heck, there have even been articles in Commentaryon the subject. The belief that Jews, unlike just about everybody else, have managed to pursue an exclusive genetic heritage for over two millennia is all part of the "they're different" that has been used in the past as an excuse for anti-Semitism.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

I think you will find genetics says you are wrong.

There are plenty of blue eyed Ashkenazis; there are black Jews. There have been times in the past when Jewish groups have actively recruited members, something conveniently forgotten or never known by some Orthodox groups. Your little sneer is misplaced. I suspect I have been into the subject a little more deeply than you may have - and indeed as I taught in a Jewish school for a number of years I suspect I know more about both the Shoah and the Golah than you do.

The post I responded to was ignorant, thinking Jews are a distinct genetic group. You are ignorant; you think that all Jews "come from the Middle East". It isn't actually surprising that anti-Semitism is a very real thing in this country when the level of ignorance about Judaism is so great and people rely on soundbites and special interest groups.

[Cederic]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Is it deep rooted in British society though? I didn't know anybody when I was growing up that was anti-semitic, nobody I've ever worked with has been, none of my friends are, the people I socialise with don't express such views.

The only people I've heard criticising Jewish practices are two female friends. One was a Jewish lady decrying the religious constraints she was forced to comply with when growing up and at the Jewish school she taught at, the other is an Irish Catholic deeply disappointed that the family of her Jewish boyfriend refuse to accept her as an appropriate wife for him, even if she's willing to convert faith.

Just where the hell do Labour keep finding all these people, because I don't see it coming from the Britain I grew up in.

[Terry 6]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

The "hold my beer moment".

As a teenager Jewish kids getting beaten up at school for being Jewish, by kids they didn't know.

Jewish " jokes "Why do Jews have locks on their dustbins....

A voice calling "Here Jew, I've dropped a penny" from the back of a classroom.

Want more?

Then unconscious antisemitism, the teacher colleague that accidentally called me Mr. Goldstein ( not my name)

Casual antisemitism "You've got to watch them Jews when you do business"

Antisemitic businesses. My uncle applied for jobs with his real surname and got no responses. They changed the name (anglicised it) applied again with the same letters and got the interviews

Conspiricism: "The Jews/Rothschild/Soros/Israeli money controls the govt/newspapers etc."

Leftwing Antisemitism. People who know nothing of Jewish or middle eastern history but are focussed on boycotting Israel ( the Jewish national state) and "defending Palestine" while being uninterested in Uighur Muslims in China, or Kurds or Royhingas or any one of the hundreds of populations who genuinely are being terrorised and murdered - because "no Jews no news".

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Leftwing Antisemitism

I wish I could give you more than one upvote. The irony is that a lot of the seminal left-wingers (Marx et. al.) were Jewish. I think the attitude was (to an extent) inherited via two routes - the Russian/Eastern European origin of manifested leftwing politics (and Russia was and is deeply anti-semitic) and the fact that, post 1948 (the foundation of modern Israel) things changed so that the Jews were no longer the 'oppressed minority' but percieved as the oppressers[1] - partly because a lot of the early Palestinian resistence organisations were communist/socialist as well as muslim. And most of the nations Israel was fighting were supported (directly or indirectly) by the Soviet Union.

(The thing about money - the irony is that, for large parts of the medieval and post-medieval history, Jews were forbidden many professions. The various states did not allow 'Christians' to be money lenders so that role was pushed onto the Jews. Which had the fringe 'benefit' that, when the loans were due to be repaid, a quick pogrom could be whipped up to remove the problem)

[Terry 6]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

You got a downvote for stating known facts! Pathetic isn't it.

I should add that those fringe Communist Jews have tended to be the offspring of successful, middle class Jews.

There's always some - in every minority community, see the Coopers in Goodness Gracious Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2h-t8vVi0zc - who want to go one step beyond economic success and join "society" by disavowing their own community and their ( in our case) "Ghetto Jew" origins.

Historically though it doesn't often end well. As the Dreyfuss case identified.

Sometimes their offspring move to the Left, in a rather extreme way. Still rejecting their Jewish cultural roots.

[Wicked Witch]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

The Palestinian business mostly comes down to a simple case of the enemy of my enemy's friend is my friend. Israel has strong ties to America, especially the American right, so if you hate America and the right wing, there's an obvious common cause to make with the PLO and its successors.

[Terry 6]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

That's part of it. Countries that voted for and supported the re-establishment of the Jewish State in 1948 have realigned since for all sorts of reasons. A big part was the question of access to oil. And within that, political influence in the Middle East and North Africa.

Anti-Imperialism/Anti-Americanism was built into that manouvering.

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Is it deep rooted in British society though?

Yes. Very.

because I don't see it coming from the Britain I grew up in

Then you had a very sheltered upbringing.

[Cederic]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Possibly the opposite. People working hard to avoid poverty don't have time for -isms.

[Mooseman]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

"Is it deep rooted in British society though?"

Sadly yes it is. From the Daily Mail fulminating against jews "swarming" here from Europe (funny how the same phrases keep cropping up isn't it?) to pathetic name calling and general unpleasantness whn I was growing up it is still here. Not as bad as in Eastern Europe by any means, but its still a "thing"

[katrinab]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

He just needs to explain that this is what happens with Tory cuts.

https://youtu.be/WOEsjRGK_ck

Is from the Thatcher era

By the way,you don’t stop antisemitism by voting for literal nazis, like the complainants are suggesting.

[paulf]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

+100 for the Spitting Image video ("Santa Claus Is On The Dole"), which I don't remember from the first time around. That made me all misty eyed for the days of decent telly satire - it was a sad day when Spitting Image was snuffed out. Shesh - even the self satirising politics of today still needs the weekly kick up the arse that Spitting Image used to dish out.

On a slightly related note it reminded me of one of my favourite Spitting Image songs: Spitting Image - The Christmas Singles although for some reason that version has edited one of the best bits which was:

#Take Every Christmas Single; Take every Record back; Load them onto an Aeroplane; and dump them on Iraq# (it was televised in 1990 I think)

Now it makes lyrical reference to Milton Keynes instead of Iraq despite still having the footage of Saddam Hussein getting a vinyl deluge. Perhaps Saddam lived in Milton Kenyes because he had a particular love of round-a-bouts and the grid system?

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

" it was a sad day when Spitting Image was snuffed out."

There's talk of it coming back. My fingers are crossed!

[SundogUK]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

You don't have a fucking clue what 'literal nazis' actually are do you, snowflake?

[Mooseman]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

"You don't have a fucking clue what 'literal nazis' actually are do you, snowflake?"

Wit, eloquence and tolerance encapsulated in one simple post. Grow up.

[SundogUK]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

I'm quite capable of wit and eloquence but I am real short of tolerance when some stupid arse starts saying people are 'literal nazis'. You may not like the Tory's but to claim they are OK with murdering millions is bullshit.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I have it on good authority ..

Fuck off with your Labour bashing especially on a non political thread

[Anonymous Coward]

Wot, Santa is not real?!!!

Wot bollocks is this?

P.S. "He then asked for some money." Chip off the ol' block, sira?

[Chris G]

Re: Wot, Santa is not real?!!!

I knew Santa was not real from the age of about four and never had a problem with that, you can negotiate or pressurise parents, Santa not so much.

[Flywheel]

"If they hear a noise in the middle of the night on Xmas eve, don't worry it's just 'mummy and daddy'"

Oh, maybe it's a burglar, in which case they'll be nicking your presents. Sorry about that.

Lessons will be learned, I'm very remorseful, no stone left unturned. Etc.

[Phil O'Sophical]

"If they hear a noise in the middle of the night on Xmas eve, don't worry it's just 'mummy..."

Kissing Santa Claus?

[KittenHuffer]

But what all want to know is 'where' is she kissing him?!?

[John G Imrie]

Under the mistletoe !

[Psmo]

That what we're calling it these days?

Grumble grumble kids grumble

[KittenHuffer]

As long as he gets to empty his sack I don't see any issue!

[KittenHuffer]

I seem to remember my Mum telling me that he only comes once a year, but when he does he fills your stockings!!!!

['s water music]

As long as he gets to empty his sack I don't see any issue!

Issue tends to be seen only [some time] after a sack has been emptied

[KittenHuffer]

Does he kiss her back under the cameltoe?

[jmch]

"Oh, maybe it's a burglar, in which case they'll be nicking your presents"

Or the Grinch?

[Anonymous Coward]

What self-respecting burglar steals the Grinch?

[iron]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

I know I'm not supposed to assume these things nowadays but I'm pretty sure that Mayor Christine Jeffreys, mentioned in the article, is female. I have no idea if SHE has kids.

[veti]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

Disappointingly, the Mayor of Rushcliffe apparently doesn't rate her own Wikipedia page.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: doesn't rate her own Wikipedia page

Nothing to stop you from creating one now is there eh?

Do you warrant your own page on Wikipedia?

You could create one so that you can boast about it to your friends over drinkies at Crimble. (sic)

Before anyone asks, I don't want one, don't need one and... (you can guess the rest)

As for Social Media... the sooner that dies a messy death the better.

Yours Grumpy (who delights in getting out of the bed on the wrong side)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: doesn't rate her own Wikipedia page

Yep, I checked and the Anonymous Coward page redirects to anonymous post.

[lglethal]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

Wait, so politicians only know how to lie right? So that means Santa is real!!!

Hooray! Everything's fine kids! Christmas isnt cancelled after all...

[A K Stiles]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

She didn't say Santa wasn't real, just too busy, so on that basis Santa is just a lazy fiction?

[Denarius]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

Parents lying necessary ? Seriously ? Not with my children. Took a while to get them to understand the TV lies, pollies lie, their school mates exaggerate and not to be too confident in what they think they know. No wonder you poms usually elect fraudsters and liars. Regrettably the rest of the world is worse or the same

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

Bare-faced lies etc.

My SWMBO is a teacher in a Catholic primary school. The contradiction between "you have to be dead before you can become a saint" and "Saint Nicholas delivers crimble pressies" is always a tricky one to navigate.[1]

[1] He's allowed out of Heaven one night a year!

[jmch]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

I guess it's also difficult at the point when kids discover that Santa isn't real, but they want to try convince them that all the other Catholic bollocks they indoctrinate the kids with aren't???

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: "Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of parenthood."

You mean like the parents praying to God for help with their child's imaginary friend.

[DavCrav]

Alternative headline:

Politician apologizes in telling-the-truth scandal.

The Mayor of Rushcliffe is under fire today after evidence emerged that in unscripted remarks at a recent gathering he told statements that he knew were true. The accusation was levelled by shocked onlookers, who had never heard such utterances from a politician before.

[Lazlo Woodbine]

*they* told statements that *they* knew were true

it's wrong to assume a gender, but fairly certain someone called Christine would be unlikely to want to be referred to as male, so best to use non-gender specific pronouns...

[Anonymous Coward]

May be old fashioned, but I thought a female Mayor was called a Mayoress. Like actor and actress for example.

[Alister]

May be old fashioned

Yup.

All actors are Actors, and all mayors are Mayors, and all chairpeople are Chairperson.

[MAF]

Ahem - Chairper-thingies to avoid any male-specific words FTFY

[veti]

You mean "chairperoffspring"

[Solarflare]

Actually, I believe it's spelt "chiropractor"

[Hollerithevo]

what's with -ess

It seems really old-fashioned to use the ending '-ess' unless referring to empress. Perhaps only still used in the animal kingdom (lioness, tigress, etc)?

[bpfh]

Re: what's with -ess

Wine press?

[DavCrav]

Re: what's with -ess

The wife of the Master of Disaster is the Mistress of Distress.

[OssianScotland]

Re: what's with -ess

Playmobil required, to confirm she is Dis-dressed

[KittenHuffer]

Re: what's with -ess

So is a female imp and impress?

[KittenHuffer]

Re: what's with -ess

Don't you hate it when your speel chucker doesn't understand what you're trying to say, but just says that each individual word is in the dictionary!

So is a female imp an impress?

[Wellyboot]

Re: what's with -ess

With you all the way on auto incorrecting speel chuckers.

This fashion for genderlessness gets right on my lactation glands

[bpfh]

Re: what's with -ess

Ohhh, That reminds me of Word 6 for Windows 3.1 :D

[Aussie Doc]

Re: what's with -ess

Thanks autocorrect.

My kids think they're getting a visit from Satan this year. -->

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: what's with -ess

>>Perhaps only still used in the animal kingdom (lioness, tigress, etc)?

Cougar?

[Phil Endecott]

Mayoress is the Mayor’s wife, and always has been.

[OssianScotland]

Re: Mayoress is the Mayor’s wife, and always has been.

So if the mayor is female, what is her husband called (assuming she has one etc.)

(I'm Brian, and so is my wife....)

[Wellyboot]

Re: Mayoress is the Mayor’s wife, and always has been.

It's 'Mayors Consort' only ladies get an honourific based on their husbands title, marrying 'up' doesn't give a chap any uplift in official status.

[Wincerind]

Re: Mayoress is the Mayor’s wife, and always has been.

It's a shame really that Hillary didn't win the last US election. I was looking forward to Bill being First Lady.

[Kubla Cant]

I'm not a local government wonk, but I think the Mayoress is the Mayor's, er, consort, not a female Mayor.

I'm also fairly sure that you can expect a lot of trouble if you use the term "actress".

[OssianScotland]

Only if you are a bishop, Shirley?

[DavCrav]

Whoops. I didn't notice the name. Sorry about that. Too late to correct it.

[Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse]

Hmmm... not so fast Tonto. It can get confusing. We had a Chris in our office that literally and suddenly overnight became "Christine". I have no issue with this per se, but claiming suddenly to be a woman on the basis of wearing a dress and slapping on some lipstick does sit somewhere between delusion and a fancy dress party.

[A K Stiles]

or is, in fact, one of the stages of transitioning? (At least it used to be a part of the process)

[SundogUK]

No, it's delusional.

[DavCrav]

At least the diminutive Chris is applicable in both scenarios.

[OssianScotland]

How do you know how large he/she is?

[Anonymous Coward]

Truth be Told

Too bad she didn't go on and mention that god was too busy to answer prayers so the kids will have to work it out for themselves. In my, admittedly grumpy, thinking we could do with less magical thinking in the world.

Top tip - kids should put their wish lists on Amazon where Santa Bezos always has time for them.

[Blockchain commentard]

Do ya reckon it's cos he dresses up in leftie red the mayor was trying to tell the kids that Labour won't be around this Christmas? Get the voters when they're young.

[Anonymous Coward]

A work chum of my old man was bemoaning the fact that his eldest had sussed Santa was actually mummy & daddy and had leaked that little tidbit to his young brother.

My dad asked for a list of what they word be getting and what his chums phone number was. Cue Christmas day and older offspring was reportedly wide eyed when he got a personal call off Santa, "just checking" that his (correctly identified) list of pressies had been safely delivered.

I even had the immense satisfaction of doing much the same for one of my own work chums, many years later.

Anon cos, well, I really AM Santa.

Try it yourselves if you can. Made my day, it did.

[Mike Moyle]

For years, children's letters to Santa were dropped in a special mailbox at the post office in the small town where we lived and, at home in the evenings, my mother and her co-workers would answer them, put them in envelopes addressed to the child and put them in the appropriate mailbox (or give them to the route carriers) when sorting the mail out in the morning. Being that it WAS a small town, there was a good likelihood that they knew the child, or at least the family, and could personalize the letters in a way that enhanced Santa's omniscience.

Damn. Where'd that mist come from, all of a sudden...?

[spold]

In Canada you can write to Santa Claus, North Pole, H0H 0H0, Canada and get a letter back :-)

https://www.canadapost.ca/cpc/en/our-company/giving-back-to-our-communities/write-a-letter-to-santa.page

[Anonymous Coward]

Top tip for those in the UK who are thinking of encouraging their youngest to write to Santa.

Just address the envelope "To Santa Claus" and the Post Office will reply, pretending to be Santa. If you write the address as "Santa Claus, Lapland" then they are obliged to send it to Finland and it will get lost.

[Cynic_999]

Just tell the kids that mummy and daddy self-identify as Santa. Problem solved!

[Hollerithevo]

Another solution

I remember being read an article from some magazine or book when I was old enough to understand about Santa about the history of St Nicholas, the 'creation' of the actual Santa in the hearts and minds of parents and children everywhere, that stays real when you are under six years old, but which then flows out and becomes you: that you have a bit of Santa Claus in you when you understand that the real joy of Christmas is giving. And that parents are filled with this love of giving when they make Christmas as special as they can for their kids, even if they can't afford gifts.

Well, I'm a sucker. I believed it and I still do. The greatest gift my parents gave me was the lesson of the joy of selfless giving. Thanks Mum. Thanks Dad. I miss you both.

[The Nazz]

Problem solved? really?

What about all the mummy-mummy and daddy-daddy offspring? Not to mention the they-they's.

And countless numbers, who for a number of reasons, only have the one parent.

[Ordinary Donkey]

Oh, come on

Surely you don't still believe in the Mayor of Rushcliffe at your age?

[Brian Miller]

Better "busy" than "dead"

The mayor could have claimed that Santa was shot down by a Buk missile over the Ukraine-Russia border.

[OssianScotland]

Re: Better "busy" than "dead"

And here I thought it was the USAF. You know, the "unfortunate incident" involving Rudolph, an unidentified "red spot" and a pair of F4s armed with Sidewinders, that led to the formation of the NORAD Santa Tracking Wing.

[MAF]

Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of politics.

FTFY

[IGotOut]

So much for commentard being enlightened here...

...the Mayor is a SHE, not a HE, as so, so many have automatically presumed...I know a woman Mayor...what a fucked up world we've become.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

"Commentards in 'didn't bother reading whole story' shocker"...

[AndrueC]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

If we take the time to read the entire article we miss our chance to be the first to comment.

[Natalie Gritpants Jr]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

More likely they assumed a crusher of young dreams wouldn't be female.

[Arthur the cat]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

More likely they assumed a crusher of young dreams wouldn't be female.

Come on, don't most male commentards remember having their young teenage dreams mightily crushed by females?

[Hollerithevo]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

And vice versa.

[DavCrav]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

"So much for commentard being enlightened here...

...the Mayor is a SHE, not a HE, as so, so many have automatically presumed...I know a woman Mayor...what a fucked up world we've become."

Or, heaven forfend, I made a mistake?

I guess the fucked-up world is where people get roundly jumped on by twats for making tiny errors (or, as they are now labelled, micro-aggressions) in speech. I would prefer a world where people are just a little less automatically outraged about every little thing in their lives but, you know, I just have this one.

While we are criticizing people, how about this?

"So much for commentard [sic] being enlightened here...

...the Mayor [sic] is a SHE, not a HE, as so, so many have automatically presumed [sic] ...I know [sic] a woman [sic] Mayor [sic]...what a fucked up world we've become."

It should be 'commentards', and 'mayor' (it's a job here, not a title). You don't need 'automatically' as that is part of the presumption, so this should not be there. It should be female mayor, not woman Mayor. There are other errors in your child-like sentences, but I do not have the time to correct you further. What a fucked-up world we now live in, where people cannot string together a few simple sentences.

[IGotOut]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

Oh boo boo.Did I upset you because you didn't get all the way down the article without feeling the need to mash away at the keys? Is it because so many others noticed your mistake? Here, have a lollipop.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

Saying "heaven forfend I made a mistake" would be a lot classier without going into a mental rant about The World and that and calling people "child-like" (which for the record is not the same as childish and not generally offensive to adults)

Yes, you skipped the article to post - it happens. A mea culpa was all that was necessary.

But you've made a meal out of a simple fuckup you could have avoided very easily.

[Carpet Deal 'em]

Re: So much for commentard being enlightened here...

Women are allowed to be mayors? Next you'll be saying they have the vote!

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, we've had the Corbyn knocking

Can I point out that the Mayor's comment was in effect "there's no magic money tree."

After Boris's Bridge, the hybrid buses that weren't, the Heathrow bulldozers and the "we are definitely leaving on the 31st October", I think that the Conservative Party at least has form in the unreality stakes. But denying Father Christmas as a present giver and believing in Boris Johnson? Now that's cognitive dissonance.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Well, we've had the Corbyn knocking

Um, Mr Cycle? You might want to remember who stopped us leaving on the THREE dates stipulated by EU law under Article 50. But in case you have somehow missed the obvious, it is the REMAIN-VOTING members of Parliament who have blocked it on all three occasions.

You can have the bridge, the buses and the bulldozers though - it is Christmas, after all!*

*Other non-Christian holidays are available. Anyone who thinks Christmas is 'wrong' and "Happy Holidays" is a suitable alternative had better not be having any extra time off between 23rd of December 2019 and 2nd of January 2020 - you wouldn't want to look like a two-faced opportunist hypocrite, would you?

[Mooseman]

Re: Well, we've had the Corbyn knocking

" it is the REMAIN-VOTING members of Parliament who have blocked it on all three occasions."

Yes, damn those REMAIN VOTING members of the ERG, Boris Johnson, etc who all voted against May's (rubbish but hey) deal...…

Stop spouting leave nonsense on here please.

[Pascal Monett]

My wife is an elementary school teacher

Every year in December, she has to deal with the kids who absolutely want to tell the "truth" to the littler ones.

Once the tears have dried, she tells them : "They don't believe any more, so of course Mum and Dad place the presents. Santa does not come for the kids who don't believe."

Works every time.

[Aladdin Sane]

I've checked my contract

There ain't no sanity clause.

[Commswonk]

Re: I've checked my contract

There ain't no sanity clause.

Pity the Marx Brothers beat you to that joke in A Night at the Opera in 1935.

[John G Imrie]

Re: I've checked my contract

I thought we all believed in recycling these days.

[Mike Moyle]

Make it a Teachable Moment

"Our little girl turned and said 'Is that true Mummy?'"

"No. dear. She's a politician and they all lie!"

[Anonymous Coward]

That's terrible, some of those kids could now grow up to be rebels without a claus.

[GrumpenKraut]

> ...rebels without a claus.

*LOL-groan*

Have an upvote and a cold one -------->

[Anonymous Coward]

Local mum Nina Hudson took to Facebook

I soon expect to see the screaming headlines:

LOCAL MUM FAILED TO POST TO FB ABOUT THE LAST SEC CALAMNITY! Click here read on how the dramatic events unfolded...

[bpfh]

Re: Local mum Nina Hudson took to Facebook

SMALL TOWN MAYOR TURNED ON THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

['s water music]

Re: Local mum Nina Hudson took to Facebook

AIBU?

[MJI]

Dress up the Ex MP since BoJo the Clown sacked him

In 80s, not thin, add white beard and he might do

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Dress up the Ex MP since BoJo the Clown sacked him

what

[MJI]

Ruddington and Rushcliff

This is why I know of the place

https://www.125group.org.uk/

[Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese]

I remember meeting a couple at a mutual friends' dinner party a few years ago, and in conversation they mentioned that they had, that very afternoon, decided that their daughter was getting quite grown up now and it was time that they told her the truth about Santa.

So they broke the news to her and she was devastated. Properly upset....legs gone from under her, crumpled-on-the-floor crying type of upset.

Now you might think that there's nothing especially unusual about that, but there's one detail I didn't mention...

....she was 16 years old.

[Anonymous Coward]

Does she still believe in god?

What about homeopathy?

I’d love to know how correlated it is.

[Anonymous Coward]

G K Chesterton's comment that when the average person stops believing in orthodox religion they don't become atheists, they start believing in anything to fill the void, seems to be uncomfortably true.

Anti-vax, the greatly increased status of Santa Claus, Goop, conspiracy theories, the list is endless.

[Kubla Cant]

Chesterton

Is there any empirical evidence for Chesterton's smart-arse comment?

Try substituting "magic", or "pantheism" for "god" (the word in the original quotation), and it sounds a lot less convincing. This suggests that the force of the statement is rather dependent on a prior belief in "god".

[Trilkhai]

My assumption then would just be that the girl was cognitively disabled or developmentally delayed or something.

[Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese]

My assumption then would just be that the girl was cognitively disabled or developmentally delayed or something.

Not at all. From what I remember, I think it was the fact she was going to be leaving school and starting 6th form / A-Levels that made he parents think it was time to break the news.

[TJ1]

"Lies to Children"

Should have told them about the Hogfather. Brings back warm memories of Discworld. Thanks PTerry.

[OssianScotland]

Re: "Lies to Children"

When mine ask about the tooth fairy, I always mention the pair of pliers - to make sure the books balance

GNU pTerry (we need a proper icon for him, also for Douglas)

[Inventor of the Marmite Laser]

Re: "Lies to Children"

As a family, we are into a second generation of children blessed with tooth faries inspired by Sir PTerry. Ours seem to be Fat Mick and Bert, who are Tool Fairies, plus Fairy Fred, who moved into a tree in the garden of two grandchildren, to "look after them" following their move to a new home in a new county.

The tooth faries manage tooth rewards as you'd expect but all the fairies will occasionally drop little personal notes to the (grand) children to mark the odd momentous event in their lives. Strangely, any letter sent from fairyland appears to go through some kind of dimensional transformation and always appear in mirror writing, much to the (grand) children's fascination.

I have fond memories of our youngest son, who by that time knew full well it was mum & dad, but kept the whole thing going as it was a cash cow and fun. He appeared in our bedroom one morning with his latest tooth dividend, the accompanying note from Fat Mick and Bert and a silly grin. For about five minutes all we could get out of him when we asked innocently "oh, have you got something there?" Was an absolutely continuous fit of the giggles.

Happy days.

One day I hope to start the same for great grandchildren - or at least be responsible for someone else kicking it off.

Thank you Sir PTerry, thank you. Without your inspiration Fat Mick, Bert and Fairy Fred would have never been born.

[Terry 6]

Re: "Lies to Children"

My kid were little in the days when the internet wasn't rapacious. I had a Toothfairy email address and domain name ( something like [e-mail]) set up with one of the free sites, so that they could send and receive messages from her.

I did something similar for some of the kids in our support unit. ( [e-mail] or something of that sort ) so that they would write and read messages.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Conservative Party politician proclaims that there is no Santa Claus"

"In other news, water seems rather wet."

[Dan 55]

Re: "Conservative Party politician proclaims that there is no Santa Claus"

"Conservative Party politician shatters innocent children's hopes for the future."

"In other news, the Conservative Party shatters a country's hopes for the future."

[fidodogbreath]

Santagram Googlebook

Santa will still come -- as long as each child has registered in advance with a verified email address, postal address, cell phone number, demographic info, and installed the Santagram Googlebook app that collects naughtiness / niceness data in real time 24/7.

Children and their parents should rest assured that Santagram Googlebook cares about their privacy. In accordance with industry best practices, all PII and behavioral tracking data will be carefully stored in an unsecured AWS bucket that can be easily found on Shodan.

Merry @#$% Christmas, rugrats.

[Anonymous Coward]

Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

The religious make up of Nottingham is:

44.2% Christian

34.4% No religion

8.8% Muslim

1.5% Hindu

1.4% Sikh

0.7% Buddhist

0.3% Jewish

0.1% Atheist

[Joe W]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

No Jedi?

[OssianScotland]

No Jedi?

They saw Nottingham, and went back home.... the Return of the Jedi

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: No Jedi?

and all they got was that light-sword proof tee which says "I'm Jedi, get me out of here!"

[Phil Endecott]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

> No Jedi?

1,231

http://localstats.co.uk/census-demographics/england/east-midlands/nottingham

[the Jim bloke]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

Jedi is just rebadged Taoism - so dont tell anyone

.. provided by the fat, bearded one (George Lucas)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

Jedi - the hoary old "religion" for dullards everywhere, the kind of people who write YES PLEASE on a form next to Sex

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

What’s the difference between the 34.4% “No Religion” and 0.1% “Atheist”?

(Where are those numbers from?)

[veti]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

I would guess, from here. The numbers don't perfectly match, but that might be just transcription errors.

And the difference between "no religion" and "atheist" is like the difference between voting Monster Raving Loony versus not turning up at all. It's all about how much effort you're willing to put in.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

(grossly simplified...)

An atheist believes that there is no god.

Someone with no religion just doesn't believe. Also referred to as 'agnostic' or perhaps 'undecided'

It gets interesting when you start to define 'god' - not just 'God', 'Buddha', etc - would 'mother nature' count as a god, or perhaps the laws of physics? (and if not, then who/what created those laws?)

[Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

Regardless of what you think of Richard Dawkins (who does have a tendency to polarise opinion somewhat) he does give a very good definition of agnosticism versus atheism in 'The God Delusion'. IIRC he has a scale of 7 grades from full-fat belief to fully-leaded atheism, but I can't remember much more because it's yonks since I read it.

[Phil Endecott]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

> Someone with no religion just doesn't believe. Also referred to

> as 'agnostic' or perhaps 'undecided'

No, I don’t think that can explain those figures. It says 34% “no religion” and 0.1% “atheist”. I can’t believe there are 340 times more agnostics than atheists in Nottingham.

[katrinab]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

Atheists believe that Jesus didn’t exist despite all the evidence to the contrary, therefore it is a religion.

[sbt]

"Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby" -- Penn Jillette

Gods that don't exist can't have sons. These are questions of history, not faith. There may be evidence for the existence of a man of that name, but frankly a lot of the other details of his origins, life and death are implausible and unlikely.

If there was such a person, I'd say it's more likely he was suffering from a mental illness that made him say and do irrational things, perhaps including willingly martyr himself. Certainly not the last case of seriously deluded egotism or making stuff up. L. Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith have form, here. Given the long history of human culture, societies and mythology in particular, 99% of which is now no longer taken seriously by anyone, it's more likely that gods are inventions of man, not the other way around.

[katrinab]

Re: "Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby" -- Penn Jillette

That there was a very charismatic preacher called Jesus who lived in the province of Judea around 2000 years ago who spread the ideas that we now call Christianity is not disputed by anyone who has had a serious look at the evidence, including people who think he was a fraudster and charlatan.

The virgin birth, the resurrection, the miracles, the general validity of the things he preached; that is very much disputed, and there isn't much if anything in the way of evidence to support it. As for the Three Wise Men, even a lot of Christians dispute that one.

It is perfectly possible to hold the position that Christianity is a load of rubbish, and also that Jesus was the person responsible for inventing the rubbish. But for a lot of militant atheists, there position seems to depend on them proving that Jesus didn't exist, and someone else made up the rubbish.

Also, all the evidence points to the fact that Joseph was a 90+ y/o man who had been given guardianship of a 13-15 y/o Mary after her parents died. I wonder if that might be a factor in the virgin birth thing?

[sbt]

Christians are close to atheists...

...rejecting all gods but one; atheists reject all the same ones you do, plus one more.

Not sure why you'd focus on the not-particularly-controversial existence question rather than the significance one, unless you were worried that it's massively more open to doubt. Then again, not sure why you're worried about what atheists doubt at all, given that christians can't even agree amongst themselves on the simplest of doctrinal questions.

Log in your eye, and all that.

[Mooseman]

Re: "Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby" -- Penn Jillette

"Also, all the evidence points to the fact that Joseph was a 90+ y/o man who had been given guardianship of a 13-15 y/o Mary after her parents died"

Sorry, there's evidence of some random pensioner looking after a teenager 2000 years ago where exactly? Parish records? Births, deaths and marriages column of the Judean Times?

I've never met a "militant atheist" yet. Plenty of rabid religious people who think shouting the same dogma endlessly is the same as "proof".

[Mooseman]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

"Atheists believe that Jesus didn’t exist despite all the evidence to the contrary, therefore it is a religion."

Evidence? I suspect most atheists do not specifically believe Jesus didn't exist, but that he cannot by definition be "the son of god" (I won't get into the whole convoluted mess here), in the same way that jews believe he existed, as muslims do.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

Atheists believe that Jesus didn’t exist despite all the evidence to the contrary, therefore it is a religion.

Not quite. I can believe in the physical existence of the Mango Mussolini, but not believe it is an object of worship, as one third of the USA seems to. Jesus of Nazareth a real person? OK, quite possible. Jesus as a diety? Well, that is up to the individual.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

You can get a pretty good Mango Mussolini in the fancy neon overpriced cocktail bar over the road from work. (I've heard.)

[Brangdon]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

Some people take "atheist" to mean someone who doesn't believe in god. Others take it as meaning someone who believes there is no god. The 34.4% are the atheists who avoid the word because it leads to uninteresting arguments about terminology.

(Proving non-existence is impossible, so if you think the word means that then there are no atheists and the word becomes useless, and we need a new word for non-believers. "Agnostic" doesn't really cut it because it would be like saying you were agnostic about whether the tooth fairy is real.)

[Terry 6]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

That you can believe in (a) god, without joining up to any of the religions ( one being a subset of the other).

[MrMerrymaker]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

Could be that Atheist is a definite belief: "No"

No religion could be "don't know (agnosticism), "don't care"...

Granted, it would make more sense to lump it ALL under No Religion, but yes, atheism is distinct simply because it is a definite "belief" in an answer vs not knowing / caring / identifying as something.

Three distinct groups then:

Is there a God:

Yes

No

Arsed, mate.

[Medieval Research Council]

Re: Geez I wonder what's up Squire?

No Pastafarians?

Solipsists seem to be missing too, but maybe that's because they ask the question as well as answering it.

[Terry 6]

The reason why is the interesting questionm, surely.

"Of course, she could have also done it out of pure spite."

Saying something disappointing or hurtful by accident still requires a reason - some prompt or motive. It doesn't just happen. Unless this mayor has some sort of unfortunate condition there was absolutely no reason for her to refer to the matter of Santa's reality at all. None. It's not part of her role. It's not why she was there. It has no real relevance to the occasion - which was to add a bit of seasonal jollity and switch the lights on. That was her only job. "click".

[rg287]

Re: The reason why is the interesting questionm, surely.

This. Someone does it every year and it's hard to imagine that it could be entirely accidental. "Don't mention Santa, don't mention Santa". It's not your job, just come in, flick the switch and say how beautiful everything looks.

It takes a particular type of humourless sad-sack wanker to tell other people's kids that he doesn't exist and:

1. Saddle the parents with a hard evening because of it.

2. Deprive those kids of a valuable opportunity for self-discovery and critical thinking by slowly working out for themselves that their parents and society have been lying to them.

[Aladdin Sane]

Re: The reason why is the interesting questionm, surely.

Deprive those kids of a valuable opportunity for self-discovery and critical thinking by slowly working out for themselves that their parents and society have been lying to them.

Plenty of opportunities for that to happen.

[Mark 85]

The Grinch Lives!!

In Nottinghamshire.

[Ian Johnston]

I never, ever believed in Santa. What sort of weird kids wants the idea of some judgey old man in the sky watching their every move. Bah. But no humbug, because knowing that lots of real, genuine people like you enough to give you presents is far nicer.

[Dan 55]

What sort of weird kids wants the idea of some judgey old man in the sky watching their every move.

It's the basis of many religions too.

[Anonymous Coward]

I apparently made by decision fairly early on, by arriving home from school aged 5 and announcing that I felt sorry for my teacher because she still believed in santa claus and god.

[Blackjack]

Better to start early

Otherwise kids grown up.into stupid adults who believe [INSERT NAME HERE] lies.

[Scott Marshall]

The Grinch Scrooged up...

The Night Mayor Before Christmas.

Mayor left red-faced even more than Rudolph is red-nosed?

Icon because of the kiddies.

[Hugo Rune]

Of course santa does not exist.

In the UK we have Father Christmas.

[Wincerind]

West Bridgford. One of the posher areas on Nottingham. Used to be referred to as Bread and Lard Island, cos the occupants spent so much looking posh that's all they could afford to eat (that's the idea anyway).

[The Basis of everything is...]

Santa is always watching

For the last few years I've reminded the kids that the little red light on the alarm sensors really mean that Santa is checking up on them to make sure they're being good.

Another good one for Crimbo Eve is if the ISS appears, sorry I mean Santa's Sleigh. It's too early to get a predicted time from NASA just yet though.

[JoeySter]

Wrong time of the year mate.

April's Fools was months ago. A politician telling the truth? Pull the other one. It's got bells on it.