back to article Gov flings £10m to help businesses get Brexit-ready with, um... information packs

Just months before the omnishambles deal-or-no-deal uncertainty of Britain's exit from the European Union, the government has a cunning plan to help businesses prepare: information packs! The £10m Business Readiness Fund will support events, training and the production of advice packs to assist businesses in making sure they …

  1. Duffy Moon

    I think I'll apply

    I wonder if I can get some funding to produce an accurate information pack, containing all the currently-available information. So that's a blank sheet of paper. Got to be worth a least a few thousand, surely?

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: I think I'll apply

      Agreed, but you're the cousin and you don't have the connections.

      This is all just another trough exercise for the snouts in the know. There will be hand-waving, reassuring noises, some cocktail parties, and when B-Day comes, everyone will disappear like a flock of pigeons scared by a cat.

      Then, you'll be on your own.

      1. NoneSuch Silver badge
        Stop

        Re: I think I'll apply

        Instead of "Brexit Day," read "Drink the poisoned Kool-aid."

        It makes a lot more sense that way.

      2. Roland6 Silver badge

        Re: I think I'll apply

        >Agreed, but you're the cousin and you don't have the connections.

        However, suspect you will improve the chances of your bid being accepted, if you mention that you will have "the blank sheets of paper" printed in France (well to avoid doubt they probably need something to the effect "deliberately left blank" printed on them), folded and encased in a blue cover.

    2. Fading

      Re: I think I'll apply

      To paraphase a great comedy:

      Melchett: [giving a scroll to Blackadder] Farewell, Blackadder! The foremost economists of the land have prepared this for you!

      [Blackadder unrolls the scroll] It's a... brexit readiness plan of the trading conditions you'll be traversing. [Blackadder inspects the apparently blank scroll]

      They'd be very grateful if you could just fill it in as you go along. Goodbye!

    3. SVV

      Re: I think I'll apply

      Good idea. As there are 27 working days left, I feel that getting a bid together, sending it off, getting approval, producing the information pack and then distributing it to large businesses so that they can then utilise it to prepare their business for the huge opportunities of having all the UK's trade deals torn up and WTO tarrifs imposed may not be possible in that generous timeframe, so I'm choosing the easier podcast route.

      "Hello, and welcome to the Great British Trade Off. As your current company will shortly become insolvent, consider it not as a problem, but an opportunity! That's the sort of optimism that will soon make us much more successful than when we were suffering under the yoke of a huge single market to trade in and all that oppressive tarrif free trade! If you need skilled staff, they'll need to earn at least £30,000 a year to get a work visa, but consider that this will still be worth about 450 euros a month, so your Polish receptionist probably won't leave! Anyway, chin up, blitz spirit and the best of British to you all!"

      1. H in The Hague

        Re: I think I'll apply

        "UK's trade deals torn up and WTO tarrifs imposed"

        It's not even the cost of the tariffs that is the main problem, but trying to figure which one applies to your products and if there are special arrangements or quotas (which may be based on volume or value). You really need specialist expertise for this, which most small businesses used to trading with customers/suppliers in other EU countries are unlikely to have.

        Try for yourself to figure out the tariffs on your favourite products:

        https://www.wto.org/english/res_e/res_e.htm

        I'm usually pretty adept at dealing with gov documents, but this is way beyond my ken. My ex-brother-in-law is based in England and trades extensively with rEU. This is a real threat to his business, so we're now looking for options in Ireland or NL. All this takes time, energy and money which would be better spent on other things. Seems Mr Johnson's 'F*** business' policy is being implemented. V. depressing.

  2. NerryTutkins

    protect and survive 2.0

    Turning your couch upside down and covering the windows with sheets can help protect from devious and vengeful foreigners forcing on us their common hairdryer standards and controlling the bendiness of bananas too.

    1. Tom 7

      Re: protect and survive 2.0

      Duck and Grovel?

  3. Locky
    Flame

    Almost as useful

    As firefighter desperately trying to put out a burning petrol station by throwing their third and final banana at it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Almost as useful

      A bit like this, then: https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.seabreeze.com.au%2FImg%2FPhotos%2FOther%2F3554967.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.seabreeze.com.au%2FPhotos%2FView%2F3554968%2FOther%2Ffunnyfailpicsapartmentfirebucketofwatertotalstupidityfailure%2F&docid=jvwTNSXlGtSj-M&tbnid=b3581Rn4Y5FowM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwi4gsPTh6jkAhUEQUEAHelkBeoQMwhHKAMwAw..i&w=500&h=503&bih=596&biw=1210&q=funny%20pics%20bucket%20fire%20fight&ved=0ahUKEwi4gsPTh6jkAhUEQUEAHelkBeoQMwhHKAMwAw&iact=mrc&uact=8

  4. Wellyboot Silver badge

    Govt. Leaflets...

    After three years of being told, If there are any companies out there that havn't identified where everything they buy comes from and where everything they sell goes then I see little use for these packs now unless they are soft & absorbant.

    1. LHGFLICOD

      Re: Govt. Leaflets...

      until about a week ago the government didn't know how EORI numbers work. for example.

      If you export to France you need and EORI number, so does the business receiving the goods on the other end, if your moving stuff between bits of your own company you need a GB and a French EORI number.

      then you need to either understand the whole customs process of find a customs agent to manage it for you who can take on your business.

      For a lot of small businesses its not going to be worth preparing for this if you only send goods to other EU countries.

      If you sell services cross border your screwed.

      1. H in The Hague

        Re: Govt. Leaflets...

        "until about a week ago the government didn't know how EORI numbers work. for example."

        Is that really true?????

        I'm currently based in the Netherlands. Although I mostly deal in services I decided to get an EORI just in case. Took a quick visit to the NL tax department website, about 30 seconds. I would be interested to know how it works in the UK.

      2. Tom 7

        Re: Govt. Leaflets...

        Don't worry, your ERP vendor will have an upgrade ready for the price of your company,

      3. Martin-R

        Re: Govt. Leaflets...

        They keep telling me to register for an EORI number despite the fact that these appear to relate only to goods and we only sell services. Now we’re to get one automatically as so few businesses have registered for one - I wonder how many of those that have not registered are in the same boat as me?

        As best I can tell, remote IT services won’t be too badly affected but $deity help us if we need to go on site (visas?) or if you’re doing something that requires recognition of qualifications

        1. katrinab Silver badge

          Re: Govt. Leaflets...

          They send that to everyone who has ever put a number other than £0 in box 8 or 9 of their VAT return. Probably you bought something from an EU supplier at some point and put it in Box 9.

        2. nsld

          Re: Govt. Leaflets... @Martin-R

          As best I can tell, remote IT services won’t be too badly affected but $deity help us if we need to go on site (visas?) or if you’re doing something that requires recognition of qualifications

          ====

          Unless you are hosting or processing data for anyone except UK nationals, then you have a very significant problem.

          Without an adequacy decision then you will need to put in place BCR/MCC for all your EU clients, and then they might not survive the latest Schrems ECJ fun fest. And thats assuming your clients agree to trust the UK gov not to crap on that.

          You might also want to check with your insurers if you will still have liability cover for work with non UK businesses, several business insurers have started turning down renewals if you have significant exposure outside the UK.

          But don't worry, if it all goes wrong and you have to sell up plenty of Tory and Brexit party supporters will be happy to purchase your distressed assets for a significant discount with all the money they will make betting against the £ and UK PLC!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Govt. Leaflets...

      Don't underplay the value of soft and absorbent paper, post Brexit.

      it might not be worth as much as petrol but it'll trade for wool socks.

      1. TimMaher Silver badge

        Re: Govt. Leaflets...

        Or “Soft, absorbent, Labrador puppies”.

        1. BebopWeBop

          Re: Govt. Leaflets...

          I declare that a tissue of lies

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    to ensure "our businesses are fully prepared for Brexit day,"

    Which Brexit again ? No-deal or any deal that is not known today ? Magical thinking.

    The only way to kinda get prepared is to setup everything for no-deal and hope either there's no deal or the deal will mean same access EU->UK and UK->EU as today, in which case the said setup won't be activated.

    And pray $DEITY no-one will think about a deal Brexit with changes vs. today.

    1. Jedit Silver badge
      Stop

      "Which Brexit again ? No-deal or any deal that is not known today ? Magical thinking."

      Unless the government know now that it will be No Deal, because they have no intention of trying to negotiate a deal. Which is the case.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

    Yet during the recent Tory leadership contest, Hancock said the idea of suspending Parliament "goes against everything those men who waded onto those beaches fought & died for – and I will not have it."

    That discussion referred to the prorogation of parliament through the 31st October Brexit deadline. Nothing of the sort is being proposed in reality. Don't forget, the 3 week party conference recess, which will happen anyway, has been included in the 5 weeks prorogation period, so it doesn't even set an extraordinary precedent.

    Besides, precisely what useful debates are going to occur in those few days between such deeply divided MPs, that couldn't or haven't happened in the last 3 years? The meaningful vote debacle proved that there isn't any sort of agreement for anything other than kick the can down the road in the hope that Brexit gets killed off eventually. That right there is the true betrayal of democracy and is symptomatic of a parliament that voted 74% in favour of Remain. Simply put, parliamentarians cannot be trusted to implement the will of the people.

    1. BigSLitleP

      Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

      This nonsense again. Let me get my bingo card out.....

      "Will of the people" - Not according to all the recent polls, but whatevs - Check

      "Not an extraordinary precedent" - longest prorogation in history, but whatevs - Check

      "Occur in the next few days that couldn't....." blah blah blah - I dunno, a no confidence vote? But whatevs - check

      "...of a parliment that voted 74% in favour of Remain" - no such stats available, but whatevs - check

      This definitely fills a lot of my "Brexiteer Obfuscation" bingo card, I just need "Brexit means Brexit" and i'll be able to call house! What's my prize?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

        "Will of the people" - Not according to all the recent polls, but whatevs - Check

        The will of the people comment was in reference to the result of the 2016 referendum, which has yet to be implemented. That's how things work in a democracy. We get a vote and the result is enacted. Waiting for an extended period of time and referring to polls which say the mood of the people has now changed does not constitute a valid mechanism for overturning what was the largest largest democratic exercise of all time in the UK. Anyway, I seem to remember that prior to the referendum every poll indicated it would be a shoo-in for remain. So much for polls!

        "Occur in the next few days that couldn't....." blah blah blah - I dunno, a no confidence vote? But whatevs - check

        A no confidence vote could happen right now, or in fact any time since Johnson became PM. The reason it hasn't and won't is because the opposition is hopeless and would lose it. A few extra days will not change this fact.

        "...of a parliment that voted 74% in favour of Remain" - no such stats available, but whatevs - check

        What a bizarre comment and clearly one from somebody heavily afflicted by an extreme case of Brexit Derangement Syndrome!

        MP's voting intentions most certainly were declared well ahead of the referendum. Each campaigned for leave or remain, remember?

        http://home.bt.com/news/uk-news/how-mps-voted-in-the-eu-referendum-11364110245462

        1. BigSLitleP

          Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

          Remember that bit when i said "Brexiteer Obfuscation"......

          A non-binding referendum is just that. Non-binding. There is nothing saying the referendum has to be listened to or followed or even done again. We have general elections because people change their minds. It seems (note: seems. There is no absolute proof at the moment) that people have changed their minds. Another referendum is required, or a general election.

          You can't just say "right, i want a no-confidence vote". You actually have to organise people, talk it through, make sure you have the numbers or else you are just shooting yourself in the foot. These things take time, hence BoJo rushing things.

          I don't know if you've read the article you posted, but those are probable stats not definite. Strangely enough, when an MP votes it is in private. Just like everyone else. There is no way to know how they voted.

          So as i said, "Brexiteer Obfuscation". It could be called Trumpism. It's that schoolyard bully that tries to yell at everyone and talks utter bull$hit until people just walk off. Then they claim victory because no one can be arsed to talk to them anymore.....

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

            "It's that schoolyard bully that tries to yell at everyone and talks utter bull$hit until people just walk off. Then they claim victory because no one can be arsed to talk to them anymore."

            There's a Dilbert for that: https://dilbert.com/strip/2019-08-04

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

            A non-binding referendum is just that. Non-binding. There is nothing saying the referendum has to be listened to or followed or even done again. We have general elections because people change their minds. It seems (note: seems. There is no absolute proof at the moment) that people have changed their minds. Another referendum is required, or a general election.

            Ah the old, non-binding referendum canard! First of all it was politically impossible to just ignore the result since the government sent a pamphlet to every home in the land stating, and I quote:

            "This is your decision. The Government will implement what you decide."

            However, the argument became totally null and void as soon as parliament voted 498 vs 114 in favour of triggering Article 50. At that stage it was absolutely crystal clear that, should a deal not be reached at the end of the 2 year negotiation period, the default legal position was to leave without one.

            There is zero evidence in any polling data that people have changed their minds in significant numbers. In fact the exact opposite is often the case - positions have become entrenched through frustration. The 2016 Remain campaign consisted of Project Fear and the same doomsday messaging that failed to work the first time has only been amplified since then. Couple it with the metropolitan elite arrogance directed towards predominantly working class Leave voters ("they didn't know what they were voting for!"), I really think it would be a close run thing.

            Anyway, let's assume, for arguments sake, that a second referendum did lead to a narrow Remain victory. Do you honestly think that would settle anything?

            A fresh general election is certainly a more democratically sound way forward and I believe that BoJo, perhaps in concert with the Brexit Party, would walk it comfortably. Dominic Cummings is rather good at getting what he wants, after all...

            You can't just say "right, i want a no-confidence vote". You actually have to organise people, talk it through, make sure you have the numbers or else you are just shooting yourself in the foot. These things take time, hence BoJo rushing things.

            Any no-confidence vote is doomed to fail because there is no caretaker leader capable of garnering a majority of support from the opposition splinter groups.

            I don't know if you've read the article you posted, but those are probable stats not definite. Strangely enough, when an MP votes it is in private. Just like everyone else. There is no way to know how they voted.

            Are you seriously suggesting that parliament is not composed overwhelmingly of Remain politicians? Just add up all those on record prior to the referendum stating their intentions and you will find a sizeable majority. The fact we are in Brexit paralysis should've given you a big clue as to the true feelings of those in parliament!

            1. Teiwaz

              Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

              There is zero evidence in any polling data that people have changed their minds in significant numbers.

              They decision wasn't made on 'significant numbers' but on a slim margin.

              Which is why a second referendum is needed after what's now been several years.

            2. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

              Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

              You're not actually looking at the polling data, then.

              Polls have consistently shown a swing towards remain. I've just looked again, and that is still the case. However, what I will agree is that whilst the swing has at times been more than statistically significant, it is still not considerable (by considerable, I would like at least 15-20% difference).

              The polls also show that amongst leavers around a third want a no deal. So no deal is not a majority opinion for leavers, never mind remainers.

              For sake of argument, if a second referendum occurred and remain won narrowly then yes, it would change things. The UK would revoke article 50 as fast as it could to remove the Brexit albatross from around its neck and to provide certainty to business.

              What will happen regardless of if Brexit occurs or not is a whole load of political discussion and changes to re-define our relationship with Europe (which is what was starting to happen prior to the referendum, and what should have happened instead), general elections with shifting policy positions, and hopefully improved education of the general populace as to how closely Britain is entwined with other countries (oh look, a flying pig).

              This will continue until there's a 20-30% difference in public opinion, at which point no-one will care about the minority opinion.

        2. ridley

          Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

          "That's how things work in a democracy. We get a vote and the result is enacted"

          Well that's news to me. I have been voting for 40years and my vote has had FA enacted.

          But that's what FPTP does for the majority of the electorate. Democracy in Britain? Pah..

        3. NerryTutkins

          Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

          "The will of the people comment was in reference to the result of the 2016 referendum, which has yet to be implemented. That's how things work in a democracy. We get a vote and the result is enacted. Waiting for an extended period of time and referring to polls which say the mood of the people has now changed does not constitute a valid mechanism for overturning what was the largest largest democratic exercise of all time in the UK. "

          There was a general election in 2017, which was fought largely on Brexit issues. In that vote, 54% of the votes were cast for parties that were explicitly opposed to 'no deal' brexit, and pledge never to do it.

          So that more recent vote Trumps the referendum.

          Worth also mentioning that the referendum was simply about leaving the EU. Theresa May made a deal to leave the EU. An agreement to remain in the single market and customs union while leaving the EU would also comply with the vote.

          It was the 'leave' side which insists that such outcomes are not compatible with the referendum and claimed a simple vote to leave the EU (but without any specifics) as a vote for their own private view of the hardest of hard brexits.

          Johnson made clear during the leave campaign that it was ridiculous to suggest the UK was going to leave the single market, now he claims that's precisely what everyone who voted leave intended.

          People clinging to the referendum and demanding 'no deal' brexit are the ones who are frustrating leaving. If the leave side simply did what they promised, and did whatever was required to remain in the single market, this would have been over months ago. The problem was, they made fairyland promises of keeping those benefits, while paying nothing and stopping EU citizens coming in. And stupid people fell for it.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

            An agreement to remain in the single market and customs union while leaving the EU would also comply with the vote.

            The central tenet of the leave campaign was taking back control. Remaining in the customs union means no new independent trade deals. Remaining in the single market means the continuation of freedom of movement, therefore no control of immigration from the EU. Furthermore, this would lead the UK continuing to be under the auspices of the ECJ, which means we would be bound by the majority of existing and future EU laws, in perpetuity, without any influence whatsoever as to their makeup. UK sovereignty up in smoke, in other words.

            Clearly this proposal would be inferior to our current status as members of the EU while also providing none of the possible advantages of leaving. It's a non-starter, so expecting the leave side to swallow such terms is laughable and can only originate from a Remaniac who hopes to reverse the referendum result. Dream on!

            1. YARR
              Stop

              Agree with the last A/C - staying in the common market and not having control of our borders or the right to make our own trade agreements would make leaving the EU a net loss. That's why a trade deal is needed, so our most vital trade with the EU is not undermined. All major economies have trade deals of some kind, but the deal that would most benefit UK-EU trade is different from just inheriting existing EU trade deals. This will take time to negotiate, hence a backstop position is needed, but that backstop must not be permanent, hence why BJ is trying to renegotiate it with a backstop of the backstop.

              People clinging to the referendum and demanding 'no deal' brexit are the ones who are frustrating leaving

              WRONG. There are no MPs representing a hard-Brexit party. It's anti-Brexit MPs and Labour opportunists who have frustrated the parliamentary votes thus far. Proroguing parliament is an opportunity to stop those self-interested MPs from putting a spanner in the works at this crucial stage in UK-EU negotiations. A good trade deal is better than a hard Brexit, but a hard Brexit is better than a bad trade deal, or staying in the common market without a say.

            2. MJI Silver badge

              Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

              Another Brexshitter.

              Companies going bust no concern then?

              (I do know of a few).

              All brexshitters can do is stand in their room shouting brexit at a wall.

              1. Chris Parsons

                Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

                Don't forget, our honest, decent, principled PM said himself 'fuck business'.

                Anyone who still thinks Brexit is about the 'will of the people' is a moron.

        4. Kane
          Boffin

          Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

          "Waiting for an extended period of time and referring to polls which say the mood of the people has now changed does not constitute a valid mechanism for overturning what was the largest largest democratic exercise of all time in the UK."

          You know what does though? A second referendum!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

            "Waiting for an extended period of time and referring to polls which say the mood of the people has now changed does not constitute a valid mechanism for overturning what was the largest largest democratic exercise of all time in the UK."

            You know what does though? A second referendum!

            Why?

            Surely it would have to be best of three right, if Remain won the second one? It would be 1-1 after all, at that stage. Or is a Remain result somehow more legitimate to a Leave one?

            Can you see the flaw in your logic yet? I sincerely hope you don't code!

            1. Rich 11

              Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

              Surely it would have to be best of three right?

              Why would it have to be? You seemed perfectly happy for the 2016 result to be enough to overturn the 1975 result.

              Can you see the flaw in your logic yet? I sincerely hope you don't code!

              Oh dear. You're going to have to step away from that compiler, unless you want to declare yourself a hypocrite.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

                Why would it have to be? You seemed perfectly happy for the 2016 result to be enough to overturn the 1975 result.

                Yes, holding a new referendum to overturn a previous one is absolutely fine, provided the result of the previous one actually gets enacted.

                Not taking no for an answer is par for the course with the anti-democratic EU.

                https://imgur.com/gallery/bZnoegk

                1. Rich 11

                  Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

                  provided the result of the previous one actually gets enacted.

                  And if the result of that referendum is going to create widespread harm but little common benefit then surely it is better to hold another referendum giving us the option of stopping that great harm before it takes place. Your position is analogous to insisting on cutting off someone's foot because it can always be sown back on later.

            2. Jedit Silver badge

              "Surely it would have to be best of three right, if Remain won the second one? It would be 1-1"

              It's already 1-1. We voted to remain in the EU in 1975.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: "Surely it would have to be best of three right, if Remain won the second one? It would be 1-1"

                It's already 1-1. We voted to remain in the EU in 1975.

                The EU did not exist in 1975 and we most certainly did not get a referendum on the sweeping political changes and dilution of sovereignty brought about by the Maastricht and Lisbon treaties.

                1. Rich 11

                  Re: "Surely it would have to be best of three right, if Remain won the second one? It would be 1-1"

                  and we most certainly did not get a referendum on the sweeping political changes and dilution of sovereignty brought about by the Maastricht and Lisbon treaties

                  That's because we're a parliamentary democracy where it's understood that referenda and elections only ever provide a degree of legitimacy for a limited time. The 1992 general election was won against the odds by John Major and was seen as vindication for his policies, including Maastricht. Certainly Brexiters had no problem claiming that the government brought into being by the 2017 general election was an indication of popular support for the Conservatives and the DUP, united by Brexit (and a billion pounds of taxpayers money, but let's not complicate matters). You don't get to claim it both ways, sunshine.

                  As more information comes to light we have the right to re-evaluate our opinions. This is why the 2016 referendum is not necessarily the last word on the matter. We now have a hardline Tory government which represents only the view of two-thirds of Tory party members, not that of the country as a whole. You can tell that this is true because the new government has decided to manipulate affairs so that Parliament is side-stepped, because it simply dare not put its policy to the test.

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Re: "Surely it would have to be best of three right, if Remain won the second one? It would be 1-1"

                    That's because we're a parliamentary democracy where it's understood that referenda and elections only ever provide a degree of legitimacy for a limited time. The 1992 general election was won against the odds by John Major and was seen as vindication for his policies, including Maastricht. Certainly Brexiters had no problem claiming that the government brought into being by the 2017 general election was an indication of popular support for the Conservatives and the DUP, united by Brexit (and a billion pounds of taxpayers money, but let's not complicate matters). You don't get to claim it both ways, sunshine.

                    It is the Remainers that are claiming things both ways. You were happy to have Maastricht and Lisbon forced upon the UK because it agrees with your federalist, ever closer union vision for Europe. However, you want to overturn the 2016 Leave result, which was confirmed by a majority of MPs agreeing to trigger Article 50 and 80% of the electorate choosing Leave respecting parties at the subsequent election.

                    Presumably at the next or any future general election you will be happy for interminable legal challenges to enter the courts from various elected or unelected minorities, to the point where we have to hold another vote because the will of the people might have changed? Can you not see what a dangerous precedent this sets?

        5. Teiwaz

          Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

          Waiting for an extended period of time and referring to polls which say the mood of the people has now changed does not constitute a valid mechanism for overturning what was the largest largest democratic exercise of all time in the UK.

          What makes me suspicious is the government are never usually that keen to rush though any election promises they've gotten into power on the back of.

          I can only conclude this is of more interest and of benefit to them not to the greater electorate.

        6. nsld

          Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

          Waiting for an extended period of time and referring to polls which say the mood of the people has now changed does not constitute a valid mechanism for overturning what was the largest largest democratic exercise of all time in the UK.

          ====

          No one is talking about overturning the 1992 General Election which had a higher turnout with a smaller overall population!.

          This is the problem with Brexidiot propoganda, they just repeat the mantra's from the Cambridge Analytica programming without even realising it. Its made worse by the fact that generally the El Reg audience isn't composed of complete morons.

      2. ShadowDragon8685

        Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

        > What's my prize?

        The dissolution of the United Kingdom, it looks like - or at least the reduction of it to England and Wales.

    2. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Congratulations for transforming an article about a (wasteful) governmental business funding operation into an argument about Brexit and Parliament.

      Do carry on.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        I'm not sure I can see the difference between a wasteful governmental business funding operation and Brexit and Parliament. In fact I'm sure there must be an Uxbridge Dictionary intro joke in there somewhere.

      2. Andytug

        Farage's Law

        hereby invoked

    3. hammarbtyp

      Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

      If the government decided that they were going to leave Europe by setting off a range of nuclear weapons in all major UK cities, that to would fit your definition of fulfilling the referendum result too. If you agree that this would be madness though you are accepting that in some scenarios a (let us not forget a advisory with a very narrow margin of vistory) referendum can be overturned if it is deemed in the best interests of the population.

      And surely they whole point of a democratic system is that it allows people to change there mind, otherwise the other two referendums that took us into the EU would trump the latest one.

      Also I did not see anywhere in the last one where it specified that the winning party would be allowed remit to commit economic suicide and to suspend normal parliamentary oversight. Maybe they should of put that on a bus

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

        And surely they whole point of a democratic system is that it allows people to change there mind, otherwise the other two referendums that took us into the EU would trump the latest one.

        Let me spell it out to you, because clearly you are either a little slow, deliberately being disingenuous or both.

        Prior to the 1975 referendum to join the EC (not the EU, which it later morphed into without our say so and is a large part of the problem for Brexiteers), we were NOT members of the EC. After we voted to join the EC, we BECAME members of the EC.

        See how that works? Referendum -> Result enacted

        So please explain why it should take one referendum to join, yet more than one to leave?

        You remaniacs are more than welcome to have a second EU referendum but it cannot happen until AFTER we have left. Anything else is simply anti-democratic.

        1. Martin M

          Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

          In 1975, people were voting for concrete, enactable outcomes. Enter a well defined entity - the EC - with well defined rules, or the status quo.

          In the recent referendum, people voting Remain voted for a concrete outcome - the status quo. Leaver voted *against* the concrete outcome but not for anything specific and enactable out of a huge range of outcomes. It is reasonable to assume that at least some of those people voting Leave had in their minds that they would get the version of Brexit being put forward by the leading proponents of the Leave campaign, including open (amongst other things) trade with Europe via the easiest trade deals in history, £350m/week for the NHS, increased parliamentary sovereignty and an intact United Kingdom.

          If the proponents of Leave can deliver that version of Brexit then there is no need for a second referendum. Experience suggests this is unlikely. If not, it is at least plausible that there is no support for the increasing likely No Deal scenario - to suggest otherwise is tea leaf reading without putting it to the vote.

          Also, please define democracy - do you mean parliamentary democracy or direct democracy?

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

            "not for anything specific and enactable out of a huge range of outcomes."

            AKA a pig in a pole. And now the cat's out of the bag.

        2. Jedit Silver badge
          FAIL

          "Prior to the 1975 referendum to join the EC"

          Oh look, a historical revisionist. We were already a member of the EC in 1975, and the question asked in the referendum that year was specifically whether or not we should stay a member.

    4. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

      Re: Looks like el Reg is being as disingenuous as the Biased Broadcasting Corporation

      You're being disingenuous or not looking at the whole picture.

      Yes, prorogation happens regularly and we currently have experienced a long period without prorogation, however :

      Prorogation does not have to happen before B day

      There have been a number of prompts by some MPs to cancel the recess until after B day

      The loss of 4-5 sitting days is still significant in the given timescale

      Parliamentarians are (badly) implementing the will of the people, by trying to find a way to implement the referendum result without causing immense harm to the country, or to unduly compromise.

      Unfortunately this is not possible. It's either harm, or compromise, and the only sensible option is compromise. For the sociopaths that vote for harm, you will have blood on your hands if/when vital services get delayed (the NHS did a 'Brexit trial' of obtaining essential medicines under Brexit no-deal conditions a month or two ago. It failed.).

      The 'meaningful vote' system wasn't a complete failure. It comprehensively voted down a no deal, and it came close to looking at 'Common Market 2.0'. Of course, there's a difference between what Parliament wants, and what the country can actually achieve with the rest of Europe.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    webinars and podcasts

    Praise be, we're all saved. The two most useless inventions known to man unless for entertainment purposes.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All ready

    My employer is fully prepared. All the work which handles European data has been moved to Europe, along with all the jobs. We've already done our Brexit redundancies, so we're ready!

    1. bpfh

      Re: All ready

      I have to give you an upvote for the humour though the situation is downvote worthy but just for the situation you are being put through :(

    2. Tom 7

      Re: All ready

      You fool - after brexit there will be no need to pay redundancy money. We'll have our sovereignty back!

  9. Barry Rueger

    Please explain

    I've been asking, and have yet to get a clear answer, but what exactly are the specific, measurable benefits that Brexit will deliver?

    If you ignore vague nationalism and unspecified "pie in the sky" promises, there doesn't seem to be anything that doesn't feel like a pending disaster.

    1. BigSLitleP

      Re: Please explain

      I would give you more upvotes if i was allowed.

    2. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Please explain

      Popcorn sales in the US are through the roof, and schadenfreude futures continue to be hot.

    3. Roland6 Silver badge

      Re: Please explain

      >but what exactly are the specific, measurable benefits that Brexit will deliver?

      A massive downsizing of the UK economy, resulting in the UK achieving it's climate change targets a few years earlier than committed to... You didn't know that Boris and the Conservative party were actually closet greens?

    4. llaryllama

      Re: Please explain

      As if to mirror the real life situation our pro Brexit friend appears to have buggered off so you won't get an answer.

    5. bpfh

      Re: Please explain

      As James O’Brien would probably say “you are not believing enough. You just have to believe”, as all the Brexit aligned politicians are telling you that you must believe in our Glorious Future.

      If you believe enough, you can ignore cold hard facts and carry on with nationalistic rhetoric and be acceptably xenophobic, and believe that we still have an empire with colonies, and that it did not all fall apart somewhere between the end of WWII and the Suez crisis, and definitely not followed by quasi bankruptcy in the late 70’s...

  10. Mike 137 Silver badge

    <sarcasm>Better late than never</sarcasm>

    It's unlikely anything useful can be created, disseminated and acted on in one month to the deadline, even if the Government (we) pays for it.

    I've been providing advice to our Chambers of Commerce free of charge for more than a year.

    Nevertherless it would have been nice if the article had included a web ink to the initiative.

    1. Tom 7

      Re: <sarcasm>Better late than never</sarcasm>

      Nice but not useful!

    2. NeilPost Silver badge

      Re: <sarcasm>Better late than never</sarcasm>

      Repackage it and get some Govt lolly £££

  11. Christoph

    \We will help businesses get ready for Brexit

    By paying other businesses, who have no more idea than anyone else, to work out exactly what will be needed (without knowing what will actually be happening) and produce information packs to tell other companies what they will need to do to prepare.

    The entire process including that preparation will have plenty of time - a whole month!

  12. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    At least they're helping some businesses. Those getting the contracts.

    1. Rich 11

      Crapita are already drawing up a bid. The bid itself will cost £10m to draft, £42m to enact and 26p for the success assessment exercise. After the bid has been accepted and just before the printing presses are due to be started, Crapita will go cap in hand to government and claim that the entire enterprise is at risk of failure unless the government guarantees to underwrite the scheme at a cost of a nominal £48m. Once the information packs are ready to put into the post the guarantee cost will rise to £64m and the legal battle will start. On 1st November the success assessment exercise will show that the project was an outright success, even though an independent survey indicates that only 17% of the packs were sent out and 61% of those arrived on the 30th October. The legal battle will conclude in 2024 with the government conceding defeat at a cost of £6m to the taxpayer. The £64m will be paid. Crapita will continue to receive further government contracts during this entire period and beyond.

  13. Dr. G. Freeman

    Be nice to have a leaflet to know what to do when Brexit happens.

    Do we paint the windows white, build a shelter under the stairs, and put a bag over our heads, or what ?

    1. Teiwaz

      Do we paint the windows white, build a shelter under the stairs, and put a bag over our heads, or what ?

      grumble..rather out a bag over Boris head...

      1. Jedit Silver badge
        Mushroom

        "grumble..rather out a bag over Boris head..."

        You can't put a bag over de Pfeffel's head. He won't be able to smoke his cigarette.

        1. bpfh
          Devil

          Re: "grumble..rather out a bag over Boris head..."

          Where he will end up, he will be smoking without needing a cigarette...

          See icon...

      2. MJI Silver badge

        Bag on PMs head

        Bag over head.

        Plastic then seal it!

        No more clown

    2. Roland6 Silver badge

      >Be nice to have a leaflet to know what to do when Brexit happens.

      Prepare for Nov-5?

  14. MonkeyCee

    Maybe it's another Boris bluff....

    Given how technocratic Cummings et al have been about it all, they could just take back A50 on October 30th, then send it in again on the 31st.

    Then they claim they're starting the "real" negotiations, starting the clock anew, without any annoying "pre existing deal" to work from.

    If they keep brinking it, the market correction won't be as sudden. So 5-8% devaluation every six months rather than 35% at once.

    They caused this crisis, they used it to get power, and they can make go away with a stroke of a pen. So I'm hoping they are "just" using this as a parliamentary coup rather than actually trying to leave the EU in the manner designed to fuck the UK the most.

    I'm a remainer, I live in mainland Europe. Can totally understand why the UK could leave. It just seems that no deal is worse for the UK than any deal.

    I would also quite like to hear what the UK parliament has to say about the Irish border. I've heard what Eire has to say, what the EU has to say and what the US Congress has to say (please respect the Good Friday Agreement) but exactly what is the sovereign power in the UK going to decide to do? Border in NI, border in Irish sea, agreement to open borders (and thus regulatory alignment).

    In fact, rather than the government negotiating with the EU and then failing to pass Parliament, perhaps Parliament should first agree on a deal. seems to have worked for the EU. I mean, they somehow manged to get 27 sovereign countries to agree on May's agreement (not saying much, largely it's agreeing to existing treaties and current laws and promising to play nice in the future) but the UK can't agree on the Irish border, let alone the rights of it's residents. How hard is it to say "Yes, we'll keep the Irish border open. Because there are about three acts of Parliament specifically about that, nothing to do with you".

    1. Guus Leeuw

      Re: Maybe it's another Boris bluff....

      Dear Sir,

      "but the UK can't agree on the Irish border"...

      The reason that UK can't agree on the Irish border is that there is a part of EU legislation that dictates that borders with non-EU states / nations must be protected. Since the UK would be leaving the EU, it is for the UK to decide what to do. Putting up border forces and fences will cost money ("the Mexicans will pay for the wall" doesn't quite cut it in the UK somehow). So throwing money at something you haven't explained before is not a very wise thing to be doing for a government. Not putting up a border puts the Republic of Ireland at peril with regards to EU legislation, so the problem is firmly in UK's hands to come up with a proposal.

      And the wheels on the bus go round and round...

      Regards,

      Guus

      1. NeilPost Silver badge

        Re: Maybe it's another Boris bluff....

        You also can’t take back control of your bosses... without having the said borders.

        The DUP want Brexit and no change to Trade affecting NI with EU/Eire and UK. It’s like going into Wickes and being upset that you can’t colour match black and white paint.

      2. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

        Re: Maybe it's another Boris bluff....

        Money is not the problem, although seeing as there are a lot of border crossing points including houses straddling the border it isn't straight forward.

        The issue is not re-starting a sectarian war. In addition to not wanting to get bombed (remember, the IRA operated in mainland UK), anything which impacts the GFA affects support for US voters, and thus any trade deal with the US.

        The secondary impact is affecting the confidence and supply agreement with the DUP, considering the Tories are currently a minority government.

      3. MJI Silver badge

        Wheels on the bus?

        No lies on the bus!

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Maybe it's another Boris bluff....

      I reckon in a couple of years we will be able to prosecute a few of these brexshitters for treason.

      Cuntings is first!

    3. Laura Kerr
      Mushroom

      Re: Maybe it's another Boris bluff....

      "exactly what is the sovereign power in the UK going to decide to do?"

      The logical answer is also the most psychopathic. But I wouldn't put it past Borat "Spaffer" Johnson.

      1. Prorogue as planned and then bring Darth Mayder's withdrawal agreement back on 31st October with a simple message: 'this is the only deal available. Vote for it or we leave tonight with no deal.'

      2. Irrespective of whether it gets through or not, engineer a reunification referendum in Northern Ireland and use every dirty trick in the book to ensure a Yes result. Spaffer could help things along by insulting the Irish at every opportunity. He's got plenty of form for that.

      3. Ireland reunites. Bye-bye backstop / hard border.

      And bye-bye Scotland. No way would Holyrood tolerate a referendum in Northern Ireland without our having one here. But both places are a long way outside the M25 and Spaffer might be glad to not have Ian Blackford tearing him a new one every week.

      I could see him trying it, but see icon for what would happen in Ireland if he did.

  15. Nick Kew

    "she who has a personal stake"

    Leadsom having big personal bets *against* Blighty (through Ben Leadsom's hedge fund) while part of government should put her on trial for Treason.

    At least Soros wasn't insider-trading when he made gazillions from Blighty's misfortunes in 1992.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: "she who has a personal stake"

      Another hedge fund, doesn't minister for 1800s run one as well?

      1. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

        Re: "she who has a personal stake"

        Yes, and they've moved all their assets to the RoI. Funny that..

  16. NeilPost Silver badge

    They are so desperate, I’d think any fuckwit who could put a Powerpoint and some bullshit together would get an immediate contract without any (Civil Service) due diligence.

    I don’t have any ferries either, but not like they ever checked that one out.

  17. MJI Silver badge

    Stocking up

    It is surprising how much you can stock up just by buying a few items extra each shop.

    On some non perishables we are already up to 6 months in storage.

    Meat won't be a problem as I can soon find a cow or sheep to eat.

  18. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    So, how's this Brexity thingy coming along, y'all?

    Smooth and nice, with lot's of confidence inspiring planning?

    Got that feeling that those in charge know what they are doing?

    Or is it more like a bus driver is trying to fly the 747 you are actually in?

    1. Nick Kew

      He's not a bus driver. Just someone who advertises on the buses.

      And I think it may be closer to a 737 Max than a 747.

  19. Secondrule

    They need to send it to their own govt departments.

    Riotously unorganised and a lack of fwd planning will cause carnage.

    Get rid of the clown

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