back to article It's Prime Minister Boris Johnson: Tech industry speaks its brains on Brexit-monger's victory

The United Kingdom, incorporating Kingston*, has a new prime minister. That prime minister is Boris Johnson, and tech industry mouthpieces are falling over themselves to tell us what they think of him and his policies. Johnson was elected by Conservative party members, winning 66 per cent of the vote against rival contender …

  1. Dr Paul Taylor

    Disaster

    How is it, in the 21st century, that someone gets to be PM simply because he himself thinks he's entitled to it?

    1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

      Re: Disaster

      How is it, in the 21st century, that someone gets to be PM simply because he himself thinks he's entitled to it?

      Frankly it's his brother I (sort of) feel sorry for. I mean, can you imagine it? Raised in the same household, by the same parents child minder nanny team of governesses, both go in to the same line of work and he turns out to be LESS successful than Boris of all people? That's got to be hard to take.

      1. Oh Matron!

        Re: Disaster

        Define "Successful"

        1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

          Re: Disaster

          Define "Successful"

          Well he is the prime minister, which is more than you can say for Jo, so however you define it, I'd say it was nailed on that Jo was less so.

          1. Adrian 4

            Re: Disaster

            Maybe Jo won. Bo's got the fall guy job.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Disaster

              In Trumplandia there were two brothers named Bush. The idiot brother became president. The much better qualified brother became "his brother", preventing any future possibility of a competent Bush presidency.

              Wonder how many people have changed their names just to have a chance at leaving behind the negative relatives?

              1. Roland6 Silver badge

                Re: Disaster

                >In Trumplandia there were two brothers named Bush.

                Shouldn't overlook David and Ed Miliband... From what they did after the Labour leadership contest, I think David provide to be the more capable and better qualified of the two...

              2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

                Re: Disaster

                Two brothers?

                We've had two President Bushes. The first had two brothers (Jonathan and William, aka "Bucky"), making - let me know if I'm going to fast here - three in total. Bush the Elder was not what you'd call a good president, but he wasn't an "idiot".

                One of his sons became the second President Bush. He's no intellectual, but compared to Twitler, he has a certain cunning and low wit; I don't think "idiot" is justified, if only because we want to save that for the present sometimes occupant of the Oval Office.

                Bush the Younger has three brothers: Jeb, former governor of Florida; Neil, famous for his role in the US S&L scandal; and Marvin, who apparently has managed to behave like a responsible human being and thus mostly escape media attention.

                It's been said [citation needed] that the Bush family plan was to get Jeb, the "smart one", into the White House, but Jeb lost his first run for Florida in '94. That put him in the mansion for 1998-2006, meaning he wasn't available to run for President in 2000. Meanwhile George the Lesser had made it to Governor of Texas in '94, so he was on schedule for the big leagues in 2000.

                But you're right that George's presidency was something of an obstacle to Jeb's candidacy for that position. Didn't stop Jeb from running against the Incoherent Cheeto and the rest of the shitstorm that was the 2016 Republican field, but the anti-incumbency, anti-dynasty political winds were against him.

                1. MJI Silver badge

                  Re: Disaster

                  Two Brothers

                  We had that too with the Smith brothers

                  Ian and Duncan

                  Conservatives answer to the pair of slapheads in Eastenders*.

                  * My wife watches and they are a pair of grunty mechanics or something.

                2. MonkeyCee

                  Re: Disaster

                  "he has a certain cunning and low wit"

                  My view was that it was always a Cheney presidency, with junior being in effect the veep. As long as junior was sound, in a Sir Humphrey sense, then he could do all the dog and pony shows while Cheney ran the place.

                  It's the presidency that expanded executive power the most* which included allowing the veep to act with presidential authority, but also the practical and legal methods of deploying lethal force without involving congress.

                  * followed by Obama. Nothing like a lawyer to make assassinations legal.

                3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

                  Re: Disaster

                  Huh. This one got two thumbs down. I though it was relatively uncontroversial, as my posts go. Interesting.

              3. Tigra 07

                Re: Disaster

                "The much better qualified brother became "his brother", preventing any future possibility of a competent Bush presidency.",

                There's still Jeb Bush...

          2. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

            Re: Disaster

            Who, in their right mind, would want to be PM at this time?

            That's right -no one!

            1. Tom -1

              Re: Disaster

              "Who, in their right mind, would want to be PM at this time?

              That's right -no one!"

              No, that's wrong. Any decent person would make a better PM than the right wing extremist pillock we are stuck with, and such people who are really decent would be willing, unlike oour current PM; to undergo the pain of trying to run a government that would do something useful instead of doing a lot of damage to Britain.

              At least I hope that there are people who would willingly take on the task despite the horrors of putting up with trying to get a couple of hundred spineless idiots and a couple of hundred racist facists and a couple of hundred extremist communists (those three groups constitue the vast majority of our parliament - there are some decent MPs, but they're vastly outnumbered by MPs whose only concern is what's in it for them) to do something sensible in the next couple of months so to avoid the effective destruction of the British economy and the triggering of an almost certain rapid split up of the United Kingdom of GB and NI into two separate states plus plus part of a reintergrated Ireland.

      2. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: Disaster

        Nobody with any talent or decency becomes a politician, there are much more lucrative and rewarding vocations.

        The driver for ambition in politics is narcissism and sociopathy.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Disaster

        >Frankly it's his brother I (sort of) feel sorry for. I mean, can you imagine it? Raised in the same household, by the same parents child minder nanny team of governesses, both go in to the same line of work and he turns out to be LESS successful than Boris of all people? That's got to be hard to take.

        Remember he has another two brothers (and another sister) that are even less successful than Jo and Rachel.

    2. Ordinary Donkey

      Re: Disaster

      I'd guess probably the same way that they did it in the 20th century and before?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Disaster

      Just wait he aims for the king role...

      1. Hollerithevo

        Re: Disaster

        Our current monarchy shields us from the men who would be king.

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Disaster

        >Just wait he aims for the king role...

        He was natively born in the United States .........

        1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
          Mushroom

          Re: Please

          Run for POTUS Boris. You can do far more damage these and we get to see the back of you.

          1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

            Re: Please

            Didn't he give up his US Citizenship in order to simplify his tax affairs?

            1. Jedit Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: Please

              If by "simplify" you mean "avoid paying tax", yes.

            2. Yes Me Silver badge

              Re: Please

              > Didn't he give up his US Citizenship...?

              Yes, but as he was native-born I am certain he can get it back. I wish he would, and renounce his current EU passport. When he ends up forced to cancel Brexit, he'll be stuck with that otherwise.

    4. ThomH

      Re: Disaster

      Nature abhores a vacuum, and the exit from electoral success of the Liberal Democrats created a huge gap sucking Labour leftward, whereas the Brexit Party are doing a wonderful job making the Conservatives look moderate.

      So it's whoever plays well in the shires for now.

      1. frank 3

        Re: Disaster

        Pretty sure it's the right-wing press owned by unpatriotic tax-dodging foreign billionaires that's doing the job of making the most right-wing tory party in history look moderate, but whatevs :D

        Ignore the emotional flim-flam that passes for news in this country and look at the policies of the main parties. You'll find one party is fresh-out of ideas apart from moar tax cuts for the rich (seriously, BoJo has suddenly found a mult-billion magic money tree for this), no-deal brexit and, errr... that's it. Oh no, we have the bonfire of employment rights too (disguised as 'cutting red tape').

        And you'll find the other party full of widely supported, moderate, sensible policies.

        If only their leadership did a better job of selling them. But then, see the opening sentence.

        1. Clunking Fist

          Re: Disaster

          "And you'll find the other party full of widely supported, moderate, sensible policies.*"

          Jeremy: is that you?

          * And antisemitism. But, hey, that other party is the most right-wing tory party in history. You do know that history started before you were born, right?

    5. John Lilburne

      Re: Is there a scammier corporation

      Hey its turned out better than one could hope. The dipshit will destroy the Tories for years to come.

      1. DJO Silver badge

        Re: Is there a scammier corporation

        The dipshit will destroy the Tories for years to come.

        Hopefully true, but the damage he will do to the country will take decades to fix - He's very much like Trump in that respect: completely devoid of any redeeming qualities whatsoever.

        His only concern is to prevent impending EU legislation that will close down tax avoidance loopholes from impacting his wealth.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          EU legislation that will close down tax avoidance loopholes

          This one?

          https://ec.europa.eu/taxation_customs/business/company-tax/anti-tax-avoidance-package/anti-tax-avoidance-directive_en

          Odd how it gets so little coverage in the UK press. Or maybe not.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: EU legislation that will close down tax avoidance loopholes

            Odd how it gets so little coverage in the UK press.

            The Guardian covered it, mostly to highlight the loopholes.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: EU legislation that will close down tax avoidance loopholes

              "The Guardian covered it, mostly to highlight the loopholes."

              Citations welcome. All I know of is a couple of articles from 2017:

              one in the Business section:

              https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/jun/18/european-commission-to-crackdown-on-offshore-tax-avoidance

              "Brussels will publish proposals this Wednesday to force financial intermediaries to automatically disclose any new cross-border tax schemes offered to clients. Those designing and promoting aggressive avoidance structures will have five working days to file details with their local tax authority, according to a leaked version of the proposals, drawn up by the European commission.

              The clock will begin ticking as soon as the scheme has become available to a client. Where there are several intermediaries in the chain, one will be made to take responsibility for disclosure. And where all intermediaries in the chain are based outside European member states, the obligation to disclose will fall to the client. ..."

              and one Opinion article not directly related to the EU legislation:

              https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/dec/07/eu-tax-haven-blacklist-whitewash-west-imperialism-tackle-avoidance

    6. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Disaster

      simply because he himself thinks he's entitled to it?

      Whether you like the outcome or not, that is a bizarre interpretation of the situation. How does a vote by MPs, a vote by party members, and ultimately a request from the Queen equate to "he thinks he's entitled to it"?

      1. Teiwaz

        Re: Disaster

        a request from the Queen

        That is 'meaningless' pomp formality - it's not as if she can refuse with the excuse 'He's a slimey, oafish oik with unkempt hair and moronic ingratiating grin.'

        I expect the conservative MPs know he's got a lot of personality (a lot of the other contenders had none), and the British public makes allowances for a 'bit of a rogue personality'

        1. John G Imrie

          Re: Disaster

          Can she refuse if she thinks he can't hold a majority?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Disaster

            Can she refuse if she thinks he can't hold a majority?

            Yes. Her job is to pick someone who can form a government, it doesn't even have to be an MP. Custom is that she picks the leader of the largest party to give them the first chance at creating a government, but there have been exceptions for past coalition governments.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Disaster

          unkempt hair and moronic ingratiating grin.

          Carefully cultivated. There's a story about how he came out of a business meeting very smartly dressed, and just before exiting the lift to confront the press he intentionally ruffled his hair to get the 'clown' look. People who dismiss him as a stupid buffoon may be in for a surprise.

          1. H in The Hague

            Re: Disaster

            "Carefully cultivated. There's a story ..."

            There's another story about that:

            "... it tells the tale of how Vine was booked to speak with Johnson at two separate corporate events and was startled to witness the former foreign secretary give two wildly chaotic but entirely identical speeches. The experience made Vine wonder whether, as many have done before and since, the Johnson buffoonery is all an act.

            Source:

            https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/why-do-only-men-and-posh-ones-at-that-get-away-with-winging-it-wcwgkcbvv

            Long version:

            https://reaction.life/jeremy-vine-my-boris-story/

          2. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

            Re: Disaster

            "People who dismiss him as a stupid buffoon may be in for a surprise"

            Yes, he might simply be stupid. Of course he is "intelligent", but he is delusional. This makes him stupid, in the way Hitler was stupid.

    7. binary
      Facepalm

      Re: Disaster

      Shall we ask Trump? Surely he knows...

    8. macjules

      Re: Disaster

      Well, he learned how to be a complete and utter self-centred bastard on the playing fields of Eton.

      Further refined by learning how to make a complete twat of himself and treat women like dirt on in the dining rooms of the Bullingdon Club.

      And finally how to further his own finances, yet bring down the economy, in the Westminster kindergarten ... aka ‘The House of Commons’

    9. rcxb Silver badge

      Re: Disaster

      Make enough stupid promises, and eventually people will put it up to you to come through on all of them...

      It's a quagmire. He's set for failure.

    10. tfewster
      Facepalm

      Re: Disaster

      My last faint hope is that Boris is just a figurehead* for a shadowy group that has the UK's best interests** at heart. Remember how he went quiet for a while? I assumed that was his handlers muzzling him to stop him putting his foot in it.

      * Quite possible.

      ** Pretty unlikely.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Coat

        So BS Boris is now Le Grand Fromage. But let us recall the words of the Bard

        "Whom the gods would destroy, they would first make mighty."

        1. PhilipN Silver badge

          Re: So BS Boris is now Le Grand Fromage. But let us recall the words of the Bard

          Or, more recently:

          "The post which he held by this precarious tenure carried with it the title of king; but surely no crowned head ever lay uneasier, or was visited by more evil dreams, than his." (Golden Bough 1.1 Para 3 line 1).

          The following text has equally pithy and disturbing parallels. e.g.

          "such a custom savours of a barbarous age". Really?

    11. Fungus Bob
      Trollface

      Re: Disaster

      "How is it, in the 21st century, that someone gets to be PM simply because he himself thinks he's entitled to it?"

      I hear that a long time ago a guy became king because some watery tart threw a sword at him...

      1. georgezilla Silver badge

        Re: Disaster

        Apparently that " watery tart " was a better judge of character then the current inhabitants of the country.

    12. Dr. Mouse

      Re: Disaster

      While I don't like BoJo and do not think he will be a good PM, there is a massive amount of misunderstanding about how the political system works in this country.

      BoJo did not get to be PM because he thought he was entitled to it. He ran as an MP and got more votes than any other candidate in his constituency. Then, upon TM standing down as Tory party leader (and hence PM), he was elected by the party as it's leader (and hence PM).

      Under our current system, we do not have a vote on who should be Prime Minister. We don't even have a vote on which party should make up the government. In a general election, we vote for one single thing alone: a person to represent our constituency in parliament. That's a person, not a party. The party which forms the government is a side effect of this: it's whichever party (or group of parties) can command enough votes to get their business through. The Prime Minister is just a side effect of this side effect, the leader of the party who forms the government.

      I've seen so many comments about unelected Prime Ministers, and about MPs who resign from their parties. The fact is that none of this has any bearing on anything in our current system. The PM is never "elected", except by members of the party and by voters in their constituency. Those who resign their party are entitled to do so, as they are not there to represent their party, but their constituents, and are elected as individuals. This is how our political and electoral system works.

      Now I know that, in the real world, this is not how voters think. They will mainly vote for whoever is on the ballot who represents the party they wish to support, and the leader of that party will often have more influence on that decision than the policies in their manifesto. However, this doesn't alter how the system works. If you want it changed, campaign to change the electoral and political system, don't just whine about unelected PMs or MPs resigning their parties.

      1. Teiwaz

        Re: Disaster

        He ran as an MP and got more votes than any other candidate in his constituency

        I've no idea what he polled in at, but first past the post makes the above questionable under many circumstances.

        1. Dr. Mouse

          Re: Disaster

          "first past the post makes the above questionable"

          I don't like first past the post, but it doesn't make that statement questionable at all. The whole premise of FPTP is that the candidate with the most votes wins. The most votes could well be only 25%, say, of the votes cast, but to win that will be more votes than any of the other candidates received. Basic maths (i.e. about as much as a clever politician is able to cope with).

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Disaster

          I've no idea what he polled in at, but first past the post makes the above questionable under many circumstances.

          Just over 50% each time, so he had an absolute majority.

          1. MonkeyCee

            Re: Disaster

            "Just over 50% each time, so he had an absolute majority."

            50.8% to 40% for Labour in the last one. About 5k majority in a 70k electorate.

            https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/local-data/constituency-dashboard/

            BoJo is the sitting MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip.

            When he was MP for Henley (until 2008) I'm pretty sure he had a massive majority, It's about the safest of seats, been conservative since... the civil war I guess? They could put up an actual piece of gammon as the conservative candidate and it would win.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Disaster

              50.8% to 40% for Labour in the last one.

              Still a majority, so FPTP or not wouldn't have made a difference.

              It's about the safest of seats, been conservative since... the civil war I guess?

              1910, the end of a brief dalliance with the Liberals.

              1. codejunky Silver badge

                Re: Disaster

                @AC

                "1910, the end of a brief dalliance with the Liberals."

                And back then they were liberals, not progressive liberal authoritarians. They would have been considered right wing today.

              2. Dr. Mouse

                Re: Disaster

                Still a majority, so FPTP or not wouldn't have made a difference

                Only if you assume that everyone votes for the candidate they want under FPTP, which is not always the case.

                For example, only once have I voted for my preferred candidate as, except for that time, they never had a chance of winning. Instead, I voted tactically for my least-worst realistic option. Under a proportional system, this behaviour can change, which can radically alter the results in many circumstances.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Disaster

        "The PM is never "elected", except by members of the party and by voters in their constituency."

        Agreed. I've also felt the need to make this clear in these very forums a couple of times in the past too.

        And yet we still have the media and "people in power" spouting off about Broris having a "mandate" because he got 66% of a vote from a very small group of people. As leader of the Tories, yes, he does have a significant mandate. But as PM he has no more of a mandate than T. May.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Disaster

          >And yet we still have the media and "people in power" spouting off about Broris having a "mandate" because he got 66% of a vote from a very small group of people. As leader of the Tories, yes, he does have a significant mandate. But as PM he has no more of a mandate than T. May.

          IIRC his 66% is less of a mandate than the 67% that David Cameron enjoyed in the last leadership election.

      3. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Disaster

        He ran as an MP and got more votes than any other candidate in his constituency.

        In a safe tory seat. For other examples of policians in safe seats, see also the repellant Kate Hoey, who manages to be a rabid brexiter in the most leave constituency in mainland Britain.

        Then, upon TM standing down as Tory party leader (and hence PM), he was elected by the party as it's leader (and hence PM).

        Out of a candidature of a small number of around 400 tory MPs, after the better choices had been exhausted (if you can consider the victors in the previous two tory leadership elections better choices), whittled down to 2 unpalatable choices from the 8 or 9 who decided they wanted to pick up the poison chalice of brexit, and then selected by 0.1% of the population (those members of the Tory party that actually voted for him).

        I'm not going to claim he didn't go through what are, technically, the correct channels to get the job, but it's no shining example of representative democracy in action.

        1. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: Disaster

          @Loyal Commenter

          "and then selected by 0.1% of the population (those members of the Tory party that actually voted for him)."

          How does this compare with the elections in the EU? Wasnt there an outcry of a lack of democracy for a winner recently? Not speaking for or against Boris becoming PM, its not an enviable job right now.

          1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

            Re: Disaster

            Wasnt there an outcry of a lack of democracy for a winner recently?

            You mean that bit where NF complained about someone winning an election with 52% of the vote, apparently with no sense of irony?

            1. codejunky Silver badge

              Re: Disaster

              @Loyal Commenter

              "You mean that bit where NF complained about someone winning an election with 52% of the vote, apparently with no sense of irony?"

              So the remoaners are also complaining against her appointment from such a small majority? But didnt the outcry go against the back room deals to get this person into a position of power when the EU is already seen as unaccountable and opaque?

        2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: Disaster

          most leave constituency

          Brain-fart there; I did of course, mean the most remain constituency.

    13. hoola Silver badge

      Re: Disaster

      Not quite, Tory MPs did not have to vote for him in the first few rounds of the selection process. If anything they are more to blame for the choice of the two candidates that went to party members. Just like everything else MPs have done recently, they have proved themselves to be incompetent beyond any reasonable belief.

      The only plus to this is that he may get sufficient support to do something and that has got to be better than the last 3 years of crap. If he doesn't and we end up with a General Election then all bets are off. I don't see any party having a majority to govern with out the support of the many minority groups. It is just a total and utter f**kup.

      1. Down not across

        Re: Disaster

        I don't see any party having a majority to govern with out the support of the many minority groups. It is just a total and utter f**kup.

        Perhaps its time to ditch the ancient two party system. Many countries have successful and stable coalition governments, so no reason why it shouldn't work in UK.

        1. H in The Hague

          Re: Disaster

          "Many countries have successful and stable coalition governments, so no reason why it shouldn't work in UK."

          Agree. Obviously there will be tensions between the different parties in a coalition. But the UK now has two main parties with great internal tensions (both the Conservatives and Labour have MPs in favour of and against the EU, etc.) which makes them both ineffective and unattractive to voters. And if after a general election you get a different party in power you get more discontinuity (= inefficiency and expense) than when you get another coalition with a slightly different flavour.

          Anyway, the supply and confidence agreement which the Conservatives currently have with the DUP is v similar to a coalition. The main difference is that the DUP get most of the benefits of a coalition without any of the responsibilities.

        2. Teiwaz

          Re: Disaster

          Many countries have successful and stable coalition governments, so no reason why it shouldn't work in UK.

          Our lot would need significant retraining - the result for a couple of decades is likely to be akin to when the Swedes switched what side of the road they drove on...

          Knife fights in the Parliament bar would need less, they'd only have to change to stabbing in the front.

        3. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: Disaster

          Many countries have successful and stable coalition governments, so no reason why it shouldn't work in UK.

          The most immediate and obvious barrier to this is the FPTP system which unnaturally skews election results in the favour of larger parties, so that minority parties get little or no representation. It's hard to have a "rainbow coalition" with two colours. We need electoral reform to a proper proportional system first, which is not in the interests of the large parties who are the ones who have it in their power to change.

    14. Amentheist
      Trollface

      Re: Disaster

      Same way they did in the 20th centrury with Gordon Brown?

      (just playing devil's advocate)

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Disaster

        The last time I checked, 2007 was the 21st century, although your point stands...

  2. Craigie

    *

    * and the area of Glasgow just by the Kingston Bridge.

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: *

      ....the one that came immediately to mind for me was the one on the north bank of the Humber. After all, we do seem to be going to Hull in a handcart

      1. Spoobistle

        Re: *

        I thought that was the IT Angle: Kingston Telecom.

        Who is this "Ivanka Trump" anyway?

        1. Crisp

          Re: Who is this "Ivanka Trump" anyway?

          The longest and creepiest relationship Trump has ever had with a woman.

        2. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

          Re: *

          Who is this "Ivanka Trump" anyway?

          Ivanka Trump is a made up character, a pun or play on words. You see, since (in the UK at least) "Trump" is another word for "Fart", someone thought it'd be really funny to pretend he really didn't know this (and probably really doesn't in all fairness) so gave his daughter a name which sounded like "I want a" and so just threw some random letters together until they got close to the effect that they wanted. Hence the joke is that Donald's daughters name sounds like "I want a Trump".

          I'm sure it's all a joke though. Even he isn't that stupid.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: *

            I thought that was his wife, Ivana (I wanna) and Ivanka was so that Donald, whenever calling for his daughter would have to say "I Wanker") which sounds an apt description of himself. Cruel for the daughter though.

            1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

              Re: *

              I know, right? Having had to put up with that name, you wouldn't have thought the mother would have allowed it really.

              Frankly I'd much prefer it if the entire family were fictional, but hey ho.

            2. JohnFen

              Re: *

              "Cruel for the daughter though."

              Don't worry about her -- she's pretty much her dad, but physically attractive and with better social skills.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: *

                she's pretty much her dad, but physically attractive and with better social skills.

                What does that leave?

            3. smudge

              Re: *

              Don't ask me why, but I've just checked, and she was actually named Ivana, same as her ma. But has always been nicknamed Ivanka, which means "little Ivana".

            4. georgezilla Silver badge

              Re: *

              I have been told that Ivanka is a childs version of Ivana.

              And that she is, in fact named after her mother.

          2. binary

            Re: *

            YES, he IS that stupid!

        3. Roland6 Silver badge

          Re: *

          >Who is this "Ivanka Trump" anyway?

          Puts a whole new meaning on "The IT Crowd".

        4. georgezilla Silver badge

          Re: *

          " ... Who is this "Ivanka Trump" anyway? ... "

          An American version of a Princess, who if I recall correctly is also known by the nickname of ....

          "Feckless C*nt".

        5. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: *

          "I thought that was the IT Angle: Kingston Telecom."

          I thought the UK had been sold to/sponsored by Kingston Memory ...

          1. MyffyW Silver badge

            Re: *

            It certainly wouldn't be the first time I've managed to squeeze another year or two out of a venerable chassis by stuffing it with Kingston Memory. Let's get the lid off you, UK, and see what those DIMM slots can take.

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: *

              "Let's get the lid off you, UK, and see what those DIMM slots can take."

              Shit! There's only four slots and the BIOS won't see more than two pairs of 4MB SIMMS.

              1. jake Silver badge

                Re: *

                That would be 16 megs ... enough to run EMACS without hitting swap. What more could you possibly need?

    2. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: *

      And there’s a Kingston in Ontario. Legend (in Jamaica) has it that the reason why the Rockfort guarding the north end of Kingston harbour was built of locally quarried limestone was that the bricks for what would have been the fort there went to the Kingston in Canada by accident. Allegedly the Canadian fort had nothing much to do until it was tapped to house some students in the Empire Flying Program. Including, also allegedly, a future Prime Minister of Jamaica.

      Note that I have no idea how accurate any of the above might be.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: *

        "...that the reason why the Rockfort guarding the north end of Kingston harbour..."

        It's spelt Roquefort

    3. Dave559 Silver badge

      Re: * and the area of Glasgow just by the Kingston Bridge.

      …which was largely destroyed by said bridge, a portent of things to come?

      (The Kingston Bridge is, unfortunately, not any ordinary bridge but a high-level 10-lane hulking motorway which ripped through several inner city communities, destroying most of the neighbourhoods that it was built though, and passing, several storeys high, barely metres away from several attractive older buildings, including the Co-op headquarters just south of the river.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: *

      Oddly, an agency has just put me forward for a job in the Thames based Kingston. I would settle for the Jamaican one though.

      As I am an inside M25 dwelling urban type I cannot possibly acknowledge anything outside of said racetrack/parking lot!

  3. 6491wm

    what about the other Kingston in the Uk ?

    "Upon Hull"

    There is life outside of the London Boroughs ;)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @6491wm

      That appears to be a minority opinion.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?
      Joke

      There is life outside of the London Boroughs

      For pity's sake keep your voice down! Don't you know the plan has always been to keep them contained within the M25 and convinced it's an amazing place to live, with everyone crammed on top of one another and no room even to fart? If they discover how nice it is out here, they'll all want to move and that'd ruin it!

      Er..not to worry Londoners, everything north of Watford looks like Newcastle, it's hideous, really!

      1. Caver_Dave Silver badge
        Coat

        Watford

        That's the town, not Watford Gap where the M1, A5, West Coast Mainline and Grand Union Canal are all within 100m (at Long Buckby Wharf).

        So named Watford Gap as it separates the Cotswolds from the Northamptonshire Uplands.

        Won't need the coat today at it is sweltering!

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: Watford

          The grand Union Canal, West Coast Main Line, M1 (and M25) are all in Watford Herts too. The A5 would have been a short distance away in St.Albans if the road numbering system hadn't been messed with.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Watford

            Ealing has 'Three Bridges' where a road crosses the Grand Union which is crossing a railway track. Well, it's not actually 3 bridges, 'cos there's only 2... or only 1 if you count the aquaduct

      2. georgezilla Silver badge

        Isn't that something like those of us that live near Seattle, Washington USA telling everyone that it rains everyday. And then inviting them here during the "wet season" ( pick one, any one, they are all wet. wink, wink, nudge, nudge ) to prove that it does. And then they stay away.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        And everything west of the M25 is like Slough. Sorted.

      4. MonkeyCee

        Only solution

        " Don't you know the plan has always been to keep them contained within the M25 and convinced it's an amazing place to live"

        Perhaps we could build a wall?

    3. Mark Alexander

      But, it's the United Kingstons! All of them!

    4. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      And there was me thinking it was a reference to Kingston-Upon-Thames, which like Richmond and many other naicewest London suburbs is likely to want to declare independence from a post-Brexit England? The Tories are going to bleed orange in all such constituencies in their fruitless chase after Brexit Man.

  4. AndyS

    Any actual content to discuss?

    So, comments from one illiterate biz-speak pressure group, one accountant, and an estate agent. What an informative article!

    Still, I suppose this bag of opinions is no worse than the Vox Populi referendum that got us into this mess in the first place.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @AndyS

      $DEITY, how I hate Vox Populi when it substitutes for news reporting!!

    2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Any actual content to discuss?

      So, comments from one illiterate biz-speak pressure group, one accountant, and an estate agent. What an informative article!

      It's on par with most other articles about Brexit(*). The amount of taurine stercor produced by both (all?) sides over the last three years has been truly phenomenal. If only we could use it to generate power we'd have full energy independence.

      (*) Or about Alexander Boris de Piffle Crickey Whiff Whaff Whaffle Gawdelpus Johnson for that matter.

  5. Aladdin Sane

    TL; DR

    We're fucked.

    1. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: TL; DR

      Well, yes. That should have been obvious, given the choices. You’d have been fucked if the other guy had won, too. The only question is which one is worse.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: TL; DR

        Not sure why, but this made me think of "Death or Mau Mau"...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Death or?

          Ugu shirly?

        2. OssianScotland
          Alien

          Re: TL; DR

          Death or Snu-Snu, Shirley

          (we need a Bender icon)

      2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: TL; DR

        Well, yes. That should have been obvious, given the choices. You’d have been fucked if the other guy had won, too. The only question is which one is worse.

        True. The difference between the two though is that Bojo has stated (in discussion with an EU official - I can't remember which one) that his policy on Brexit is "f*** business". Sadly I'm not paraphrasing.

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

          Re: TL; DR

          his policy on Brexit is "f*** business".

          ITYF that was his policy on letting business decide the political direction of the country. Given that Amazon, Google etc. care about little but their own profits, and love the EUs twisted tax codes because they can abuse them, I can't say he was wrong.

        2. Warm Braw

          Re: TL; DR

          his policy on Brexit is "f*** business"

          He has one talent and attempts to apply it to every circumstance.

          1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

            Re: TL; DR

            He has one talent

            So, better than the Westminster average, then?

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: TL; DR

              But only better by 1. They are all pretty much on par, no?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: TL; DR

        The one who not only fucks you but pours wine on the sofa?

    2. steelpillow Silver badge

      Re: TL; DR

      As a Liberal Democrat living in the fabled wilderness beyond The Last Homely Ring Road, I have to report that quite a few of my neighbours are right at this moment cheering the roof down.

      Do they love Boris? Maybe, maybe not, but they sure expect him to deliver Fibre To The Lonely Mountain at last.

      Fantasy takes many guises.

    3. Len
      Mushroom

      Re: TL; DR

      I am actually quite happy with Johnson winning. At least he now gets to own the Brexit crisis and can go down in history as the shortest sitting prime minister and the last Conservative Party PM ever. We just need to lance the boil.

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: TL; DR

        He'll need to beat George Canning. His short tenure ended because he died.

        Also Andrew Bonar Law was in number 10 for a very short time. He was a Canadian, he resigned because of terminal illness.

        1. Ken 16 Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: TL; DR

          I predict he'll be in office until at least mid November

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: TL; DR

        "the shortest sitting prime minister"

        Not sure if he's the winner of the title, but the Duke of Wellington only managed about a month his second time around (separate from and not contiguous with his first time around). Or does it not count if he had previous longer term?

        Jeez, you create a competition and don't tell us the rules!!!

        1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

          Re: the Duke of Wellington only managed about a month his second time around

          Yeah he got booted out...

          In other news: Boris has taken cntrol of the Beeb and now all it shows is Attenborough held hostage on a desert island.

          https://account.bbc.com/account/error?code=1007&ptrt=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2F

          Tell Trump that: it will be interesting to see how he responds...

    4. Haku

      Re: TL; DR

      The man has a history of being reckless at the expense of others.

      Here's just a small sample: 10 fire stations in London shut down in 2014 to save money, and then he goes and starts a garden bridge project that ultimately failed, costing the taxpayers £43 million, yet no construction work was even started...

      I dread to think how he's going to impact the rest of the country after that little demonstration of his time as mayor of London.

      1. Fred Dibnah

        Re: TL; DR

        From the point of view of Arup, Heatherwick, and the Garden Bridge Trust, the bridge project is probably seen as a complete success, given that the millions were spent on something.

    5. Crisp

      Re: We're fucked.

      On a long enough timeline, eventually we're all fucked.

  6. chivo243 Silver badge
    Unhappy

    I feel sorry for England

    Maybe uncle Donny will share his barber with Boris? Aside from the hair cuts they look like siblings separated at birth! I feel sorry for all of us...

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: I feel sorry for England

      Well, Boris was born in NYC so it's almost possible that they're related...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Born in NYC

        Then he should take Uncle Donald's advice and 'Go back from whence you came'

        Please. Go. go now.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Born in NYC

          We don't want him back. We have our own problems.

    2. chivo243 Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: I feel sorry for England

      Two down votes... One from a trump supporter, one from a Johnson supporter... hehe he said Johnson supporter!

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: I feel sorry for England

        "hehe he said Johnson supporter!"

        Oh yeah! I forgot about that. We in the UK have had great fun taking the piss out of Trumps name. Now the Yanks get to do the same to us over Johnson :-)

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: I feel sorry for England

          I know nobody who uses "Johnson" in that way. We Yanks know of it as slang, yes, but I have never actually heard anybody using it outside the movies. No doubt this will change thanks to current events :-)

          In other news (literally), one of the Talking Heads on a local TV news broadcast this evening made the somewhat surprising statement that Boris Yeltsin is the new PM of GB ... And here I thought he'd been dead these last dozen years or so.

          1. MonkeyCee

            Re: I feel sorry for England

            It was Johnson or Hunt.

            I do feel sad, since the Freudian slips by broadcasters are just fantastic.

  7. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "What is the new Prime Minister's view of IR35 reform"

    I'm sure Boris will look favourably on freelance journalists. Otherwise why would he give a toss?

    1. jon battle

      No, there's only one journalist that Bojo has ever given a toss about, and he's now retired from journalism, although still doing his (very) creative writing (and talking).

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "... didn't mention Boris's pie-in-the-sky comments from last week about rolling out full-fibre broadband across dear old Blighty."

    Not just last week. Repeated in his own victory speech, so defo going to happen as Boris don't lie!

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      And you can write that on the side of a bus.

  9. Winkypop Silver badge

    Stuck in the middle with you

    Jokers to the left of me

    Clowns to the right

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Stuck in the middle with you

      You've mixed your directions, but I wouldn't expect less from a nation that insists on driving on the left.

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: Stuck in the middle with you

        Leave Japan out of this.

      2. XSV1
        Stop

        Re: Stuck in the middle with you

        75 countries drive on the correct side of the road.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_with_left-hand_traffic

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Boffin

          Re: Stuck in the middle with you

          It is said (it's probably a myth) that driving on the right came when the Florentine officials had to regulate traffic on an extremely busy bridge, and was a quite arbitrary decision that spread across Europe. Whereas driving on the left is logical because if someone approaches you who you don't like the look of, you hold the reins on the left and free your sword arm. Those who have gear sticks also get to keep the leading hand on the wheel while changing gear.

          Whatever, the country that makes the best cars drives on the correct side of the road.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Stuck in the middle with you

      "Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize"

      "The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban land mines ... I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirize George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporize them."

      Both by Tom Lehrer

  10. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    We need the aliens

    Now!

    The only thing that can save humanity is an apparent outsde threat.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: We need the aliens

      Where's Rorschach when you need him?

      1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
        Pirate

        Re: We need the aliens

        Where's Rorschach when you need him?

        "I'm stuck on this bloody oil tanker in blazing sunshine having been kidnapped by a rogue government and held off the coast of Gibraltar".

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: We need the aliens

          We need Doc Manhattan back, and fast.

    2. Alien8n

      Re: We need the aliens

      Leave us out of this, even we can't help against this mess.

  11. Rich 11

    Tech giants

    "Why are a number of tech giants able to pay little in UK tax while the smallest businesses are often aggressively and unfairly pursued by HMRC?"

    Because the tech giants have better lobbyists and can afford more lawyers. Don't expect anything to change.

  12. RFC822

    Joining the Lib Dems

    As a lifelong Conservative voter, I've been thinking for some time about joining the Lib Dems.

    Today's the day I'll actually do it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Joining the Lib Dems

      This has happened because sensible Conservatives got disgusted with the EU-obsessed weirdos in their local parties, while the UKIP members joined. It was an internal coup, if you like.

      I'd say we should all join the Conservative Party and wait for the next leadership election, but it'll probably be between Steve Baker and Javid, and another Hobson's choice.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        "the next leadership election, but it'll probably be between Steve Baker and Javid, and another Hobson's choice."

        It'll probably between the two who most successfully distance themselves from a BoJo government and all its doings.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          I think you underestimate the media blitz from the BBC (nowadays about as impartial as a very partial thing, frightened of losing its licence money), the Mail, Telegraph, Express and the Murdoch Press. Johnson won't fail. The wicked EU will sabotage him at every step. When he steps down, the UKIP in the constituencies will demand ever harder Brexiters.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Joining the Lib Dems

      My hat off to you, sir for taking such an uncomfortable decision (like changing football team allegiances) and being prepared to admit in a public forum. The Tories had plenty of opportunities to reform and kick out the militants (as Labour had to do in the 1990s) but they repeatedly shied away from it, and gave ground to the loonies at every turn.

      Of course, reap what you sow. I suspect some people are due for a rude awakening when they see just was a self-centred tool BoJo is. He could drive the country off a cliff edge, if parliament lets him. He could lose a confidence vote and a subsequent election, if Bercow lets it happen. But he's also just as capable of deciding that the Brexit thing was just a means to an end… his becoming Prime Minister.

      1. steelpillow Silver badge

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        "My hat off to you, sir for taking such an uncomfortable decision"

        Not uncomfortable at all I can assure you, dear folks - I made it in the 1970s (can't remember exactly when, ahem, but it was back in the days when we were still just the plain Liberal Party) and I have never regretted it.

      2. Roland6 Silver badge

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        >But he's also just as capable of deciding that the Brexit thing was just a means to an end… his becoming Prime Minister.

        Perhaps someone should tell Boris, that PM's get to be members of a rather exclusive club: The European Council, and as an ex-PM's could be a candidate for President of the Commission...

    3. Haku

      Re: Joining the Lib Dems

      Jo Swinson CV

      • Warned against rises in Minimum Wage

      • Defended Tory Tribunal Fees

      • Scrapped EMA

      • Cut Disability Payments

      • Backed Bedroom Tax

      • Tripled Tuition Fees

      • Voted to bomb several Muslim Countries

      • Backed Austerity

      Lib Dems = Tory Lite ?

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        You've presented the list as if all the policies were her ideas, which they weren't. The Liberal Democrats were the minority party of a coalition with the Tories. Some people fail to understand that coalitions means compromise. What were the alternatives? The Labour Party was discredited after years in government and unable to form a government. A minority Tory government with even more odious policies? Another general election?

        Personally, I think the biggest mistake was not getting parliament to vote on changing the electoral system, but leaving it to a referendum which the two big parties campaigned against.

        And what's happened since? Labour has descended into incomprehensibility and the Tories into bisyllabic shouting.

        1. Mike Pellatt

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          Absolutely. So it left in place the uber-tribal party system with the execrable Whips' offices.

          This is why she voted the way she did - it's the only way to climb the greasy pole.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Joining the Lib Dems

      RFC822,

      "As a lifelong Conservative voter, I've been thinking for some time about joining the Lib Dems.

      Today's the day I'll actually do it."

      Sorry ...... don't believe you !!!

      Long term Conservative voters would never do anything to 'harm' the 'Party!!!

      We are where we are today because the 'Party' comes first.

      The country can go up in flames *BUT* the 'Party' will always be protected from all harm.

      My view is that Bojo has been given the PM role so that the 'Brexit Problem' and its prime supporter/instigator can be associated clearly in full public view.

      Bojo and Brexit will fail in one glorious implosion and the 'Party' can abdicate any connection with the whole mess as it lets him take the fall for the failure.

      I can guarantee that the loyal 'Party' voters will be electing a new Conservative govt within months, with a clean slate and no memory of the problems caused.

      Labour, LibDems, Brexit Party etc etc will not be a problem as none of them are a viable alternative and the somewhat right leaning press will support their friends as usual !!!

      (Note how conveniently the Labour Party has 'self-destructed' (!!!???) to ensure that they are not even noticed as an opposition party and are most assuredly not in the running as a future govt even if Attila the Hun was the only other choice.)

      1. FrogsAndChips Silver badge

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        If that's so they should have picked him up instead of May in the first place and spared us the last 3 years.

        1. Nick Kew

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          He could see the blame that was coming (as I said at the time):

          The master plan was obviously a Boys Own scenario: come to power at the nadir of the the worst crisis since the 1970s (perhaps even the 1940s, at least in his dreams) and turn the country around. But that needed a scapegoat, to take the impossible (but eminently blameable) decisions that will now lead us to that low point. Cameron’s resignation today came too early for the master plan: he’s not going to be that scapegoat. So now it seems Boris has to take over too early and take that blame, or else chicken out at this obvious moment.

          Sadly he successfully sidestepped it.

      2. tfewster
        Facepalm

        Re: Labour Party has 'self-destructed'

        Well said, sir.

        When the Labour Party split itself between Corbynites & Blairites (Full disclosure: Personally I'm left-wing so I guess that makes me a Corbynite, though I don't support him personally) - The outcome should have been that the Tories trounced them.

        When the Conservative party fragmented over Brexit, it was an opportunity for Labour to reunite and bounce back. But they wasted it.

        A pox on both their houses. While they're all pissing about, implementing "the peoples will" needed a steady hand on the tiller to avoid a risky decision becoming a disaster.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Labour Party has 'self-destructed'

          >When the Conservative party fragmented over Brexit, it was an opportunity for Labour

          Labour are even more divided over Brexit than the tories.

          The Blairites love it because you can get some wonderful cheese and the wine in Tuscany is so reasonable.

          The left hate it because it's all a zionist conspiracy run for big business

          Any London MP with immigrant/educated voters love it (or so their focus groups tell them)

          Any Northern MP with a constituency of Sun reading ex-miners hate it (which is easy cos they're foreigners)

      3. Mike 137 Silver badge

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        "The country can go up in flames *BUT* the 'Party' will always be protected from all harm"

        Sounds rather familiar, as in the erstwhile Eastern Bloc. It didn't work there - they're still paying the price 20 years after it folded. Maybe we're in for the same.

        The biggest problem is conceptual, as demonstrated by almost everyone (including the press) referring to the office of prime minister as the "top job". It's not - it's the position of the public servant with maximum responsibility for the welfare of the populace of the nation. The assumption of it being the "top job" takes us right back to the divine right of kings, which we abolished in England in the 17th century. Sadly, the "parties" emerged as a direct consequence of the Commonwealth and Restoration, which just goes to show that the tendency to grab power is deeply embedded in human nature.

        The Americans got the principle right in "of the people, by the people, for the people", but [a] "the people" were very narrowly defined, and [b] even that version of principle didn't persist there either.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          Mike 137,

          "The Americans got the principle right in "of the people, by the people, for the people", but [a] "the people" were very narrowly defined, and [b] even that version of principle didn't persist there either."

          So glad you realised that the "People" originally referenced is no longer the "People" who count as Corporate America has Politics well and truly in its pocket.

          As evidenced by Trump the American version of 'Politics' is pure tribal opposition without any reference to actual policies (Real or imagined). The Tribal contest keeps the 'People' occupied while Corporate America gets on with doing whatever it wants. Now with Trump they have almost reached 'Corporate Nirvana' as he attempts to roll back any 'impediments' to making yet more profits and 'People' be damned in the process. (A few promises of reversed fortunes for a old Industry sector or two and diversions such as the 'Wall' will be all it takes to keep the 'People' occupied.)

          Unfortunately, it would appear he is on course for yet another Term, which is bad for everyone both in and outside America.

          Luckily, the world has a nice diversion watching a country go to hell in a handcart ........ namely the UK fail at leaving the EU. This should mean that the USA will be able to do anything as the rest of the world is too busy ROFL'ing !!!

      4. RFC822

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        Sorry ...... don't believe you !!!

        Long term Conservative voters would never do anything to 'harm' the 'Party!!!

        Well, I joined the Lib Dems last night, and my membership card is in the post, so you're very welcome to pop around and see it when it arrives!

        The Conservative party has changed out of all recognition - May made lots of noises about not being the nasty party and being a party for all the people, but then made the decision to move towards the extremist/lunatic right-wing fringes. A fringe populated by people with little ability and no intelligence (and I include the empty vessels like Rees-Mogg and BoJo who try to disguise their intellectual paucity with a veneer of expensively-purchased private education).

        The Conservative MPs who defected to Change UK said that they had not left the party; the party had left them. I understand how they felt.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          Well done.

          I found my EU vote was wasted though sadly, as I voted for Change UK*. Even got beaten by kippers.

          I find "Pencil in a suit" very punchable and cannot understand how it can be in the same party as people like Heseltine, Major and co.

          * Regional no 1 was local and I have met some of their family.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          RFC822,

          If you have jumped ship then I apologise *BUT* unfortunately it will do little to save the UK from the fallout to come.

          One wonders what else can happen before the year is out !!!

          In comparison, Hong Kong is begining to look like a nice peaceful place to go to for the next decade or two !!! ;) :)

      5. Nick Kew

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        Sorry ...... don't believe you !!!

        Long term Conservative voters would never do anything to 'harm' the 'Party!!!

        The party we knew is gone.

        As a supporter of Thatcher in my youth, I cannot possibly support the charlatans whose agenda is now to lose us her greatest achievement - the European Single Market. It's not at all the same party.

        Libdems are far too lefty for me, but right now they're our least-bad option by a long way. Insofar as they are an option.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          That is what people forget, BoJo party is NOT the Conservative party we knew when young.

          LibDem lefty, can be a bit but with Change UK failing what other choice is there?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Joining the Lib Dems

          lose us her greatest achievement - the European Single Market.

          Maastricht did that, by turning it from a successful free trade zone into an unwanted federalist empire. Brexit may be the first step in getting it back.

      6. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        He said voter not member.

        Most Conservative voters are really anti Labour voters rather than Conservative voters.

        Yes there is a hard core of must vote that way, but I have voted for 5 different political groupings in a year. None Labour. None Brexshit. None Kipper.

      7. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Joining the Lib Dems

        I was a long term Conservative voter. The last time was 1997 - the MP was a decent guy, I liked him a lot, he lost narrowly. Since then we've had a succession of truly awful Conservative candidates, one of whom got in in 2015 with the help of "Lord" Ashcroft.

        Unless Michael Heseltine or Ken Clarke discover the Fountain of Youth and stand in our constituency, that's it for the Conservative Party and me.

    5. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Joining the Lib Dems

      Thinking the same here.

      But it has been infighting since forever, since pencil in a suits dad was an MP.

      Where as to many the coalition put LD off the voting intentions, to many it put them on. My daughter is a LD supporter, she thought they did well in the coalition, so when she was of age, she chose them.

      They understand why I have voted in the past, the older MPs with more individual experience than the whole of the cabinet.

      They are no longer the home of politicians like Heseltine and Clarke and are now the home of idiots like BoJo and pencil in a suit.

  13. Sir Loin Of Beef

    The stupidest person in UK Politics is now PM?

    God help you all.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      He isn't stupid. He has got what he wanted - money and power - by acting an illusion.

      I just wonder what the portrait in the attic looks like.

      1. Hollerithevo

        Attic

        I'd advise you not to go upstairs.

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      The stupidest person in UK Politics

      Oh, I think there's plenty of better contenders for that title.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If you are looking for Stupid check the Mirror 1st !!!

      Sir Loin Of Beef,

      "The stupidest person in UK Politics is now PM?

      God help you all."

      Correction:

      The Stupidest person is each and evey one of the electorate who allowed the fiasco of the last 3 years to go on and on and on .......

      It was apparent from day 1 that the Referendum result was *NOT* going to be actioned.

      The majority of the MP's did not agree with it and it has been stymied at every possible point.

      No one was brave enough to simply say 'NO I will not do it !!!' because of fear of the fall out.

      Now they have a scapegoat to blame the failure on when Bojo fails and they can all pretend that they would have supported the result as that is Democratic But ..... Bojo messed it up ..... what a shame !!!!

  14. jake Silver badge

    Now don't you lot ...

    ... wish you had spent more time and energy putting your own house in order, instead of expending all that hot air on Trump?

    The term "whistling past the graveyard" comes to mind ...

    On the bright side, perhaps all y'all will be rid of him before our own idiot in chief scurries off with his tail between his legs, bleating about fake votes and the like. (We're stuck with Trump until the next election, alas ... because the alternative (Pence) doesn't bear thinking about).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Now don't you lot ...

      We're stuck with Trump until the next election, alas

      Boris is US-born, he might be free when the Republicans are looking for a Trump successor...

      1. Roland6 Silver badge

        Re: Now don't you lot ...

        >Boris is US-born, he might be free when the Republicans are looking for a Trump successor...

        Might? I think if Trump offers, Boris would become free tout suite, just as he did when as Mayor of London he dropped everything to become an MP again...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Now don't you lot ...

      Some of us did try. My father in particular spent a lot of time trying to explain the EU and foreign affairs to what he calls the "fellow inmates" of his sheltered housing.

      As a result, he is now of the opinion that most of the electorate is too thick to be allowed to vote.

  15. colinb

    Wimpy

    Sorry, all i can see when i look at him is Wimpy from Popeye

    "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

    and i suspect that's how he'll run the country.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good grief!

    Saints preserve us. Boris has about as much political savvy as the great orange one across the pond - and the sooner HE'S deposed, the better.

  17. HmYiss

    Puppet #75

    Don't spit out your buttplugs. Nothing has changed.

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As our American friends might say, we now quite literally have a real Johnson for Prime Minister.

    That is all.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ha ha! </Nelson>

    Now you can't make fun of us for Trump anymore, and hopefully we can correct our mistake before you correct yours!

    Seriously though, I guess this means hard Brexit since he won't be able to negotiate anything Parliament will pass any more than May did. The outcome of that can't lead to him being in power very long before he's pushed out like May was. I think a lot of people in government want to see him there because they know whoever is in No. 10 when the effects of Brexit are finally felt will get a lot of blame. Everyone else wants to be the 'white knight' who comes in after them and picks up the pieces (or blames everything on BoJo the clown)

    1. Nick Kew

      Re: Ha ha! </Nelson>

      Of course we can still point and laugh at Trump. The day we stop doing that is time for the padded cell.

      You want rid of him, what you need right now is to knock some sense into the Democrats, and make sure they put forward an electable candidate.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ha ha! </Nelson>

        Whoever the democrats nominate Trump will claim he or she is a socialist regardless of views. His strategy is pretty clear - he knows his popularity ceiling is about 45% so he needs to make enough democrats dislike their nominee and stay home, as he did in 2016. Problem is, he had a 25 year head start from the right in spewing Hillary hate, he'll have to do that in 6-9 months with the 2020 nominee.

        Funny how republicans used to deride democrats as "liberals" but liberal isn't a dirty word outside of hardcore republican circles anymore, so they have to take it to the next level. Having an avowed "democratic socialist" running helps I guess, but it will be hard to paint most of them with that brush. Especially when the "socialist" policies they advocate for like some form of single payer / nationalized health care are now popular with a clear majority of Americans. All the effort republicans spent trying to hamstring Obamacare and insure it wasn't a success worked, but not in the way they wanted.

        1. Nick Kew

          Re: Ha ha! </Nelson>

          Whoever the democrats nominate Trump will claim he or she is a socialist regardless of views.

          That is absolutely not the point.

          Trump will fling mud, but does that mud have substance? If yes, the uncommitted voters will have to weigh up which is the lesser of evils, and *might* pick Trump again. If no then it's a no-brainer: we have an electable candidate and they'll thrash Trump.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Ha ha! </Nelson>

            the uncommitted voters will have to weigh up which is the lesser of evils

            You have too much faith in voters if you think they will "weigh up" anything. Most people respond emotionally, which is why candidates slinging mud and calling names always beat those who talk policy and solutions.

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: Ha ha! </Nelson>

              I rather suspect it has nothing to do with emotions. It's more along the lines of "Policy & solutions is hard. ::turns off brain::" vs "Mudlinging is FUN! More, please!!!!".

  21. SVV

    Latest Johnson tech commitment (yes, he actually said this)

    "insert broadband into every orifice, of every home"

    You may like to go around inserting things into orifices you shouldn't be interfering with, but I'd prefer you to keep your hands off my wifi. I believe that others may have told him to keep his hands off their wifi too, although I might have slightly misheard that.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not from around here!

    Funny that all the people who voted leave due to not wanting people coming into the country, doing jobs that Brits don't want to do and paying taxes now have a PM foisted upon them that was born overseas.

  23. Allan George Dyer
    Childcatcher

    It depends where you stand...

    "Given one-time chancellor George Osborne's untrue promise that a referendum vote to leave the EU would send house prices crashing through the floor,"

    With the GBP falling, UK house prices are looking increasingly attractive, if you've got a pile of better currency and can wait for a decade or two for a return to sanity and recovery. Which doesn't help young people in the UK at all...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It depends where you stand...

      The thing is, they kind of did crash. Estate agents are publicly stating otherwise, but the reality is that at least here in London, prices were still rising until 2016 and then they started falling. I bought a house last year and paid 25% less than the asking price. It wasn't a particularly unusual asking price either.

      The house I had before had also fallen in value. Not as much because it's a smaller house and more in-demand. I decided not to sell and to rent it instead, because while rental costs have also fallen, they're still very high.

      I spent over a year casually looking for houses and a lot of those that were on the market simply didn't sell. On a few occasions the seller pulled the price down a lot, on others they decided to stay put, and a few have ended up on the rental market.

      Of course, this is circumstantial, based on a leafy part of South West London. But while prices in the window are pretty much as they were, the market is stagnant at best.

      1. Nick Kew

        Re: It depends where you stand...

        Whereas I'm in the process of buying right now, far from London.

        Strangely, houses are now more affordable than they've been at any time in my working life. Except for that golden age in the 1990s, when I missed out by being out of the country.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: It depends where you stand...

        "The thing is, they kind of did crash. Estate agents are publicly stating otherwise, but the reality is that at least here in London, prices were still rising until 2016 and then they started falling. I bought a house last year and paid 25% less than the asking price. It wasn't a particularly unusual asking price either."

        Yes, but it it's pretty much ONLY London house prices that are falling. Everywhere else, they are still rising, though maybe not as quickly. Historically, rUK housing prices have followed London prices with a short lag. The lag is longer than ever and still growing.

  24. codejunky Silver badge

    Meh

    Lets see what he does. Hopefully he will get us out of the EU but also I hear he is against HS2 too. Maybe there is a glimmer of hope but I will wait and see.

  25. Daedalus

    Give him his title now!

    PM's are often, but not always, raised up to the House of Lords once they've stopped doing damage.

    The floor is now open for suggestions as to which title the Boris would get. Baron Boris of Much-Binding-in-the-Marsh?

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: Give him his title now!

      "Baron Boris of Much-Binding-in-the-Marsh?"

      Lord Mainwaring of Walmington-by-the-Sea/?

  26. Daedalus

    The Song and Dance

    PM questions typically involve the "let's pretend" shenanigans where the PM gets a grilling on something properly directed at one of his/her Ministers but answers because it's a "follow up" question to something like "Does the PM intend to visit Lower Slurpington cum Chokeberry?". This has devolved into a shouting of numbers instead of the standard questions, like the old story about telling jokes in prison, followed by the odd-to-foreigners "I refer the Hon. Member to the answer I gave previously".

    Will the Boris stand for such nonsense? Will he simply launch himself across the aisle at his interlocutor, or just dismiss the initial approach with "Fwah fwah load of rubbish"? An anxious world awaits the answer.

    1. Nick Kew

      Re: The Song and Dance

      Boris is a performer. He'll put on a show. He'll relish it in 'normal' times (when he has nothing particularly topical to hide), and (on past performance) absent himself at times when it could be embarrassing.

      This could be difficult for the opposition. Put Jo Swinson against him and she'll sound whiny, even when she's firmly in the right about something. Corbyn may do better on occasion (when he has really good material), but probably not often.

  27. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    "rolling out full-fibre broadband across dear old Blighty"

    I'm sure this will follow very soon after completion of the Garden Bridge.

    How does it feel to have an ADHD attention seeker for PM?

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Call me a doom monger but...

    I'm wondering how the holy fsck chaos with Milliband wasn't the better option?

  29. Potemkine! Silver badge

    The show promises to be spectacular...grabbing popcorn

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