license, hell
Always have a large caliber weapon, would be my advice.
If you go down to the woods today, do it somewhere nice like the Forest of Dean* and definitely not Siberia, where a 30-year-old bloke only escaped with his life because he bit the tongue off the bear mauling him. Scrap metal Church roofs? Nyet, say Russian scrap thieves, we're taking this bridge READ MORE According to …
Once the Russian hunting season is over, carrying a gun that would be big enough to bother a bear would not be permitted. A small calbre would likely irritate it, Canadians I know recommend a stout stick and bear spray, both for aiming at the bear's nose.
While I admit to having kissed a moose I would draw the line at exchanging spit with a bear.
Carrying a gun big enough to stop a bear might not be permitted, but being arrested for carrying a big gun out of season would be preferable to wait for a bear to put its jaws around your head so you can have a go at biting off its tongue!
If you are already doing something illegal collecting antlers, adding a second illegal act by carrying a gun doesn't really matter much.
I heard an interview with Ranulph Fiennes about one of his Actic expeditions. Apparently they had to attend a training event by the Canadian government - or the Mounties - I can't remember which. And this was to learn the law on shooting polar bears.
He said that because most polar bear charges are a threat, and so don't lead to attacks, you're only supposed to shoot them if they're actually going to attack you. Being a protected species. And you can tell this from their tail position as they attack.
Sadly of course, the tail is behind the bear, and the big scary teeth and claws are at the front, as are you. And there's a bloody big bear in between the two.
So his argument was that: a) He was going to shoot any bears that got too close, on the grounds that he wasn't hanging around to assess the position of their tail, and; b) As he was an explorer there'd be nobody to see what he'd done anyway.
Given he's a man who cut his own frost-bitten fingers off with a hacksaw, rather than wait for surgery - I don't see what harm a few seconds of waiting to get a nice photo of the tail would do him...
Phew what a looney!
I heard an interview with Ranulph Fiennes about one of his Actic expeditions. Apparently they had to attend a training event by the Canadian government - or the Mounties - I can't remember which. And this was to learn the law on shooting polar bears.
The branch of Canadian government you'd want to be learning about dealing with polar bears are almost certainly the Canadian Rangers, not the Mounties. For many years, their standard weapon was a .303 Lee-Enfield No. 4 rifle. Plus an ax - although I doubt that would be anybody's weapon of choice going against a polar bear.
"...Plus an ax - although I doubt that would be anybody's weapon of choice going against a polar bear."
That's not the weapon of CHOICE, it's the weapon of LAST RESORT! Rifles can jam, spray nozzles can block or fall off. My last-resort weapon is a tomahawk, lighter and faster than a standard axe (and useful for firewood). If it comes down to that, I figure I have one tiny chance to plant the 'hawk in its brain as it charges. If I'm very lucky I'll only be semi-crushed by the bear's momentum as it falls. Most likely the bear wins.
But really, would you rather spend the last seconds before being killed by a large carnivore screaming in empty-handed despair? I'd rather go snarling and cursing and fighting, even if I lose.
"Plus an ax - although I doubt that would be anybody's weapon of choice going against a polar bear."
The most effective way of avoiding attack by a polar bear, or any other angry and dangerous animal for that matter, is a somewhat slower-than-you friend who should be taken along (and kept close to your person) on any excursion where there is a risk of animal attack.
Wasn't there a story within the last year or so, involving a large cat of some type, that reverses this?
The story went that the cat pulled down and mauled the slower person, but was distracted by the still fleeing person, so interrupted its attack on the already brought-down person, and went after the still fleeing one. This person was caught up to and killed, while the person first attacked was able to get up and leave - and hence survived - while the 2nd victim, the faster one, was being killed.
You could just park your suitably-equipped truck outside: there would be a saving in cost, if not in personal dignity.
Actually Baga Yaga's house is a shed. Pushkin says it quite clearly:
<<избушка там на курьих ножках стоит без окон без дверей>>
(There a shed without windows or doors stands on chicken legs)
избушка (izbushka) is a diminutive of изба (izba), a (wooden) hut.
However, the presence or absence of antlers is not reported by Pushkin, who is more concerned to let us know that Baba Yaga flies around in a mortar (and not on a broomstick).
I'm not volunteering but am prepared to hold someone's coat for them.
Pro tip:- Polar bears favour their left arm (which makes them "southpaws", I know, you couldn't make it up). Not sure if this applies to other bears. (Grizzlies and polar bears are very closely related.)
HTH
Bitten the bear's tongue off? I think if the bear can fit his head in its mouth then its tongue is likely the size of his hand. He may have nipped the bear's tongue and even gotten a chunk off but it's likely no bigger than a golf ball. Painful for sure but my guess is the bear still has 95% or more of its tongue. It will make licking the wound a challenge though.
But he didn't take the bear spray, her other advice, having failed to notice that cases of explosion have been in overheated cars, not on hikes. Which is easiest - remembering not to place pepper spray on a rock in bright sunlight, or being evacuated by helicopter with a leg broken in three places? Nassim Taleb has written whole books on people's inability correctly to assess downside risks.
"Which is easiest - remembering not to place pepper spray on a rock in bright sunlight, or being evacuated by helicopter with a leg broken in three places?"
Being evacuated is easy - you just lie there and let everyone else do the work. Remembering something requires actual effort. The question of which is more painful may have a different answer.