back to article Sex and drugs and auto-tune: What motivates a millennial perp?

"Thirty years ago people couldn't imagine online porn." I beg to differ. "Private-interest" bulletin boards existed even back in 1989, and I have a sneaking suspicion that comparing notes on the most effective autoexec.bat sequence wasn't the only reason modem'd PC users wanted access to Usenet from their spare bedrooms. The …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    30 Years Ago

    30 years ago (more like 40 years ago :-( ) I could not work out how anyone in the porn industry made any money, all the X rated mags were bought by a friend of a friend so on that basis 1 magazine had the circulation numbered in hundreds and you could tell - Yuk!

    1. Nick Kew

      Re: 30 Years Ago

      I first got online from home a little over 30 years ago. The only pics I saw back then were ascii art, and even those were rare (and unwanted at 1200 baud max). Yet ISTR the likes of the BBC were already on about the dangers of porn on bulletin boards of the era.

    2. Franco

      Re: 30 Years Ago

      Circulation in the hundreds and usually ended their life under a hedge to be found by teenage boys who were playing football until the person sent to retrieve the ball from said hedge found a jazz mag instead.

      I am also reminded of a Chewin the Fat sketch where cave paintings were invented in prehistoric Paisley, follwed almost instantly by the first drawing of a cock and balls. The point being that almost every new form of media becomes a vehicle to deliver porn.

      1. Huw D

        Re: 30 Years Ago

        You might appreciate this from comedian Duncan Oakley.

        NSFW. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AH7qdhiKZg4

      2. Daedalus

        Re: 30 Years Ago

        The point being that almost every new form of media becomes a vehicle to deliver porn.

        As pointed out by Kurt Vonnegut in "Slaughterhouse-5" where the same pornographic picture keeps appearing, first as a zoophilist daguerreotype.

      3. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: 30 Years Ago

        "almost every new form of media becomes a vehicle to deliver porn."

        like rule 34

    3. storner
      Childcatcher

      Re: 30 Years Ago

      Usenet existed more than 30 years ago. Tiny pictures were posted on alt.sex.pictures in uuencoded form split into multiple posts because the size of posts was limited to a few kB (yes, KILO bytes, not MB), so you had to download each post, strip off the headers and run it through uudecode before viewing a tiny 200x140 pixel image on your 640x480 16-color CGA screen.

      Nowadays 12-year olds post selfie-porn on social media.

      Yup, progress.

      1. ma1010

        Re: 30 Years Ago

        Well, not quite 30 years ago, but when the BOFH's company got a content management system, the disks were quickly filled by the PFY adding the McHenry "service documents" and the RustyNEddie "interactive processing stuff" from the tape archives. No doubt originally downloaded from Usenet in multiple file format. You can find that episode here.

        (With no new BOFH in sight have to make due with re-reading previous episodes!)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 30 Years Ago

        That's about the time a lot of people were scarred for life with pictures of Harold and Madge from neighbours in what must have been one of the first moving porn internet obtained videos. It wasn't even CGA.

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: 30 Years Ago

          I am trying to remember from my memory of the office building the first time a developer gleefully showed everybody an animated 3 second fellatio porn clip. It was based on a Max Headroom coca cola advert called c c c catch the wave or something and must have been contemporary to it.

          Must have made an impression as I can still remember it.

      3. Stoneshop
        FAIL

        Re: 30 Years Ago

        your 640x480 16-color CGA screen.

        640x480? And six-teen colours? Lookshoorey! That was VGA, or EGA if you squinted a bit; CGA was just 320x200, with 4 out of 16 colours. With the best approximation of pink being light red or light magenta.

    4. illiad

      Re: 30 Years Ago

      In the '80s the UK porn industry was mainly ignored by the Govmt, so there was plenty of backstreet stuff going on... The money came from Europe and US, where there was no problem...

      There was even a few good items on broadcast TV...

      then prudish grannies stepped in..

      1. Teiwaz

        Re: 30 Years Ago

        In the '80s the UK porn industry was mainly ignored by the Govmt, so there was plenty of backstreet stuff going on... The money came from Europe and US, where there was no problem...

        Yeah, but anything available in the Uk was a con anyway. Labels like Electric Blue generally promised more than they actually delivered.

        1. illiad

          Re: 30 Years Ago (Electric Blue )

          if you knew the mag that produced it, you would expect the soft core stuff from those vids...

          I found plenty of hardcore vids for rental at a store in kings X station in the '80s...

  2. Denarius

    Dabsy, not just you

    virus and buggy PC sold for money ? I was baffled by that PC "art" A seldom seen brother had a laptop that was slow when I visited. I have no idea where he got so many PUPS, trojans, virus and other hindrances, aside from Windows 8. I could have sold it for thousands instead of considering a serious fire.

    As for millennials, so little makes sense. At Oz fast unfood institutions, they dont even look at physically present humans of prefered gender for partners, just use fondle slabs instead of fondling the wetware near them. Is it to avoid charges of unwanted touching ? Maccas has changed but not its menus

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Dabsy, not just you

      Art is anything made by an artist that sells

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Dabsy, not just you

        Art is..

        .. in the eye of the beholder.

        Much like music (s/eye/ears/*) - even with my famous love of prog music there are various genres (RIO et. al.) that I don't really consider to be music..

  3. Warm Braw

    Only a fool writes for anything other than money

    That's us put in our place. Unless the cheque's in the post.

    1. Nick Kew
      Pint

      Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

      Damn you!

      (for getting in ahead of me with that comment).

      Guess I'll just have to be the double-fool and get the beer in.

      1. Denarius
        Happy

        Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

        does that include writing code ? I do some for fun. Relaxing after trying to fine tune a stroppy chinese made chainsaw. Is there any other kind now ?

        1. Persona Silver badge

          Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

          They Stihl make good chainsaws in Germany

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

            They Stihl make good chainsaws

            According to OldestBrother (he of the tree-monkey habit) they are OK for lay people but serious tree surgeons use other brands.

            Not that I can remember the ones he mentioned - I wasn't *that* interested. My tastes run more to cameras and optical devices..

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

              I find my camera isn't much good for sawing up branches. But then my Stihl doesn't take very good photos.

            2. Stoneshop

              Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

              [Stihl] serious tree surgeons use other brands.

              The tree I saw being surgeoned quite recently was being subjected to one of those Stihls the surgeon apparently shouldn't be using.

            3. H in The Hague

              Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

              Where is your brother based?

              For various complicated reasons to do with a client's project I've recently been on a tree felling course and been hanging out with tree care folk. In the UK and the rest of Europe they mostly seem to use Stihl and Husqvarna, though some folk use Dolmar or Pellenc (French, nice, expensive). And the larger Stihl units are definitely not designed for use by laypeople.

              Incidentally, I went to a presentation by a Stihl trainer. He mentioned that both Stihl and Husqvarna make excellent products, sometimes one brand is in the lead, sometimes the other, and that their personnel and management get on perfectly well. But apparently some of their customers are so loyal to their chosen brand that they're like religious zealots.

              Happy sawing.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Only a fool writes for anything other than money

      Dr. Johnson was wrong about a lot of things. He was also a depressive. Only a fool cites an opinion of Dr. Johnson as carrying any kind of weight.

  4. Persona Silver badge

    S.H.A.G.-13

    45 minutes with a Boston Dynamics S.H.A.G.-13 ?

    If it takes more than 3 minutes I'll want my money back.

    1. macjules

      Re: S.H.A.G.-13

      That would be 40 minutes of, “Then Squirry the Squirrel went... neep, neep, neep!... and they all went home for tea."

      Followed by 5 minutes of, “Now then, how much do you charge for a good hard shag?”

    2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: S.H.A.G.-13

      >If it takes more than 3 minutes I'll want my money back.

      Remember the turbo button ?

    3. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: S.H.A.G.-13

      well I'd like to point out that the desire for robo-sexuality (in general) could be explained with the term '3DPD'.

      You have to ask yourselves _WHY_ the '3DPD' term even exists. A great deal of it comes from radical feminism and the general attitude towards men, the "all men are toxic masculine" (by defining normal male behavior as 'toxic', not simply the rude ass-hattery that's a stereotype of normal male behavior).

      So from THAT perspective, when an overwhelming number of 'available' females are of the "bitch princess from hell you owe me because you have a penis" variety, robots look PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

      Ultimately you can blame Gloria Steinem, Patricia Ireland,Irina Dunn (the originator of "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle") and others who have gone beyond equal rights for women into the realm of outright man-hating and "misandrony".

      So what do men do? ROBOTS! And porn. And hookers. And go to other (non-westernized) countries.

      (for those women who really DO want men in their lives, and not a Big Member 3000, consider NOT listening to those over-the-top radical feminist HARPIES and behaving NORMALLY, like 100,000+ years of human evolution defining the traditional roles and behavior of men and women have people do, and men will not only respect you, but probably not do things that anger you either; otherwise you'll play 2nd fiddle to the Lucy Liu-bots that are only COPIES of you, except without all of the "toxic femininity")

      sad-face icon because, let's face it, this is sad.

  5. chivo243 Silver badge

    Boston Dynamics in the year 3000

    Maker of the Marilyn Monroebot?

    1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

      Re: Boston Dynamics in the year 3000

      Maker of the Marilyn Monroebot?

      Indeed, it's those cute little flaws that keep a guy interested. </Kryten>

    2. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Boston Dynamics in the year 3000

      I'd prefer the Lucy Liu bot

      1. Sven Coenye

        Re: Boston Dynamics in the year 3000

        Just don't mention its Chinese-American heritage as a negative...

  6. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Coat

    Well there might be a bright side

    If indeed the future is filled with wankers, then that means less 1st-worlders using much too many resources and polluting the world.

    It also means that I look forward to seeing how that works when I'm 80 and so full of arthritis I can hardly move. Unless I'm still spry and agile, in which case it's the nurse who's going to wish I was full of arthritis.

    Let's pity the nurse and hope I'll be full of arthritis.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Well there might be a bright side

      I'm 80 and so full of arthritis I can hardly move

      You don't have to be 80 for that. Which is why I have blood tests every two months - to make sure the various toxic anti-arthritis drugs haven't killed my liver and kidneys..

    2. macjules

      Re: Well there might be a bright side

      "The WankoBot (© 2029 Estate of Donald Trump) has a number of settings inline with customer satisfaction demand, which range from gentle erotic massage to having Kim Kardashian pounding on you for 10 minutes.

      It is normal for nurses to switch the WankoBot to its Kardashian setting* and leave the patient for a few minutes: death is always guaranteed and our happy customers always go out with a smile on their face."

      * cleaning and servicing should be carried out afterwards: please see the manual for more information.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Well there might be a bright side

        a number of settings inline with customer satisfaction demand, which range from gentle erotic massage to having Kim Kardashian pounding on you for 10 minutes.

        EEEEWWWWW!!!! That would have me limp within 10 *seconds*, and not from excitement either.

        I think the only reason Kanye West has her around is because she's about the only person in the world with less talent than him.

        1. Huw D

          Re: Well there might be a bright side

          Kim Kardashian has a massive arse.

          But that's enough about Kanye...

          1. MarthaFarqhar

            Re: Well there might be a bright side

            Or more likely that Kims arse is the only thing that could accommodate Kanyes ego.

      2. Mark 85

        Re: Well there might be a bright side

        Tough choice.... upvote for the concept or downvote for the Kartrashian. <sigh> I'll upvote for the concept and hope and pray that the Kartrashian option is just one of many and there's better choices.

        1. veti Silver badge

          Re: Well there might be a bright side

          What sort of taste do you expect, from "the estate of Donald Trump"?

    3. Stork Silver badge

      Re: Well there might be a bright side

      Relax, the trend is that more people live longer and healthier than ever. In particular if you are in the wealthier and better educated part of the population (of course you can have bad luck).

      When I was a kid/teen, people in their 80es were more or less expected to be in care homes. Less so these days, my mum and her friends have very busy lives.

      1. Stoneshop

        Re: Well there might be a bright side

        Less so these days, my mum and her friends have very busy lives.

        TMI

    4. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Well there might be a bright side

      "less 1st-worlders using much too many resources and polluting the world."

      *facepalm*

      Without enough babies being born to create the next generation, nobody is going to PAY FOR your arthritis treatments. It'll become SO expensive to 'take care of' the aging population that any kind of 'austerity' for the 'old and retired' will get shoved under the bus. Run the numbers, you'll see. The only way that you'll get your arthritis treatments at age 80 is if you have private retirement, assuming it's not confiscated and/or taxed out of existence. That is, unless millenials "get busy" and start making babies...

      (but millenials are too busy texting each other on their 4-inch screens)

      If sex weren't so damned pleasurable, nobody would EVER have kids. Then humans would die off. But someone with the attitude as seen in the above quote might actually LIKE that outcome...

      1. Stoneshop
        Unhappy

        Re: Well there might be a bright side

        Without enough babies being born to create the next generation,

        ... other species being driven into extinction now may get some room to stabilise, or even increase their number.

        But I'm not very confident of that.

      2. illiad

        Re: Well there might be a bright side

        you are forgetting artificial insemination , cloning, etc...

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Blockchain commentard

    "some of us will be having "great sex" without human contact within the next six years" - hmmm, doesn't he know prison is full of purveyors of beastility already?

    1. Anomalous Cowturd
      WTF?

      > "some of us will be having "great sex" without human contact within the next six years" - hmmm, doesn't he know prison is full of purveyors of beastility already?

      It's still perfectly legal in six states of the USA. It's a God given right, to fuck anything that can't eat you, or bite your dick off.

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        I heard that certain STDs, particularly gonorrhea, originated with sheep, or perhaps THESE. online research suggests it's just an urban legend...

  9. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "There is a theory that when a business decision or government policy does not make any logical sense, it can be explained by money or sex. "

    Never underestimate the absence of logical thinking combined with the power of ego.

    1. Rich 11

      AKA Chris Grayling.

      1. Montreal Sean

        Or Trump.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Grayling is Trump but losing taxpayers'money rather than that of investors.

    2. veti Silver badge

      I'm confused. If that's what illogical decisions are based on, what exactly drives the "logical" ones?

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Reality.

        1. veti Silver badge

          Sex and money aren't real? I think you'd have trouble defending that.

    3. JeffyPoooh
      Pint

      "does not make....sense"

      "...decision... ...does not make any logical sense..."

      Many organizations provide formally-defined 'Decision Making' processes. Such procedures typically mandate a very careful, explicit, highly verbose, stepwise process. Devoid of any reliance on common sense or instinct.

      The very nature of the stepwise process enables, and in facts makes easy, what would otherwise be nearly impossible... ...bad decisions.

      Here's how.

      Whereas it's very difficult to leap straight onto a bad decision because the incorrectness is too obvious, it's actually quite easy if one takes an overly-verbose, step-by-step approach, gently circling around and sneaking up on the simply-awful decision. It's similar to the old 'slowly boiling a frog' metaphor.

      Corrective actions:

      Senior reviewers should skip over the body of any such 'decision making' report (because it likely contains cognitive contagions), and flip straight to the idiotic conclusion. Makes it more obvious.

      Wise leaders would have such decision making procedures deleted from their business policies. i.e. If you have a brain, then use it.

      If need be, tell everyone that the instinctive decision was made by an A.I. Many seem to trust a 10k synapse A.I. over a trillion synapse class intelligence that's been evolved over hundreds of millions of years. They probably snuck up on that decision.

      1. veti Silver badge

        Re: "does not make....sense"

        One trouble of such systems is that they inevitably depend on the input of many people. Some of those people are aware of what they're doing, others not. Some are consciously or subconsciously trying to manipulate the outcome. Nearly all are manipulating the data, if only to make themselves look better.

        All have subtly, or not so subtly, different ideas of what's relevant to the question.

        Then all this bullshit gets fed into a system designed by a psychopath to solve a problem that is about four orders of magnitude more complex than anyone concerned realises.

  10. ItWasn'tMe

    The Reflex

    Following the Barbarella reference I was expecting a Duran Duran clip at the end.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Reflex

      Electric Barbarella, surely, rather than the Reflex?

      1. Darryl

        Re: The Reflex

        Um, Girls on Film, Shirley?

    2. Teiwaz

      Re: The Reflex

      Following the Barbarella reference I was expecting a Duran Duran clip at the end.

      I'd have thought, some nice wholesome organ music....

      I mean, what have a bunch of 80'a poseurs got in relevance to hands free sexual fulfillment...

  11. lglethal Silver badge
    Go

    " "Only a fool writes for anything other than money." Millennials, on the other hand, clamber over each other in their insatiable desire to have their reporting and expertise published for no financial gain at all.

    Not to side with millenials too much, but for most of those these days wanting to get into the media industry or anything art or industrial design based, you need to have a "portfolio". I.e. a bunch of your sh&t, sorry work that you've posted somewhere. The more popular you can show it became, the more likely you are to be able to get that shitty unpaid internship, which might eventually turn into some gig economy style part time contracting (dont call it employment), which might end up with you eventually getting employed somewhere (no doubt at minimum wage).

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      You have always needed to prove that you can write before an editor will consider commissioning you. In t'old days, you could only do this by writing stuff on spec or reviewing a gig for your local fanzine. It's much easier now to build a personal portfolio via the wonders of blog. The difference is that today's budding writers are willing to have their hard work published in commercial magazines and newspapers FOR FREE or for peanuts on an ongoing basis, thereby needlessly keeping themselves penniless while at the same time queering the pitch for colleagues who have dependents to feed.

      1. Alien8n

        I take the gig economy seriously. For the magazine I write for I literally get paid in gigs. I'll be working in the press tent at Download Festival in a couple of weeks (saves me the couple of hundred quid for the ticket and all I need to do is write up the review afterwards which takes about an hour)

      2. Semtex451

        The difference used to be in the quality, but that matters less and less as the Human IQ approaches single figures. Any moron can get their shyte read simply by trolling these days. There's no need for original thought, insight or profundity.

        1. Alien8n

          I'll agree about the quality, read the BBC, or even any of the main paper's websites and the spelling and grammar are absolutely atrocious. At least at El Reg there's a handy little button so we can point and laugh at the author.

          1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

            Spelling and grammar aren't really a sign of the quality of the journalism. The Grauniad has been known for this for decades, even back when it was a much better paper than the Lefty Mail that it's degenerated into now.

            The lack of checks is a sign of the lack of money the papers have. Which is also the reason why they've lost quality, due to having to do the same with less cash. But I suspect writer's pieces have always been full of typos and such - it's just that in the good old days [TM] you had the sub-editors to sort it all out. Subbies, were one of the first things to get cut.

            Obviously journos now have to produce more articles per day (and updates to previous ones) in order to keep the website constantly turning over with new stuff. And that reduces the quality, by cutting the time on each piece - as well as meaning more deadlines to meet, hence more typos. But I suspect that stuff was always written at the last minute before deadline in the good old days too, because people are people...

          2. Rich 11

            main paper's websites

            *points and laughs*

            *(and pre-emptively drops 20p onto the collection plate for the Great Goddess Tpyos)*

            1. Alien8n

              @Rich11 I'll give you that, but at least all the letters are present and in the right order, it's only the apostrophe that needs shifting to the right (unlike most journalism)

              1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

                all the letters are present and in the right order

                I suggest you take a good look at the name of that goddess, it may be correct, but I don't know her while I am pretty good in the various mythologies. On the other hand, it may also be deliberate.

                1. Rich 11

                  Belive me, freind, we all kno Her.

                  1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

                    I am better acquainted with Muphry and his law.

                  2. Teiwaz

                    Tpyos

                    Belive me, freind, we all kno Her.

                    I thought she was equatable with the Aztec goddess typexwetcoatal

                    1. Stoneshop
                      Devil

                      the Aztec goddess typexwetcoatal

                      She who rips your heart out, uses it as an eraser, then makes you rewrite the sentence using your own blood as ink.

                      1. Rich 11

                        Re: the Aztec goddess typexwetcoatal

                        Your description makes me think her Earthly avatar was Miss McNeish, my primary school teacher from 1968-1970.

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          There's no need for original thought, insight or profundity

          Most of it just seems to scream "look at me, LOOK AT MEEEEEE" anyway. Which is quite wrong - you should be looking at ME[1] instead!

          [1] But not too closely please - I don't want to be responsible for your therapy bills..

        3. A.P. Veening Silver badge

          as the Human IQ approaches single figures.

          I am sorry to burst your bubble, but that just is not going to happen with the current definition of IQ. As IQ is currently defined, the average IQ is exactly 100, so still three digits.

          1. Teiwaz

            As IQ is currently defined, the average IQ is exactly 100

            Are we absolutely sure?

            Theresa Mays recent Brexit deal strategy resembled the act of repeatedly trying to jam the square block through the round hole and expecting a different result each time, and measured against the general population, she's clearly not of below average intelligence.

            Then there's the further evidence of the general population repeatedly voting conservative.

            1. Jim Mitchell

              This phrase has always confused me. Of course you can fit a square peg in a round hole. The square peg just has to be smaller than the matching round peg would be. Sigh.

              1. Stoneshop
                Boffin

                square peg in round hole

                "fit" .nes. "can be inserted into"

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Then there's the further evidence of the general population repeatedly voting conservative

              Which shows considerably more intelligence than voting for Corbyn would.

          2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            "I am sorry to burst your bubble, but that just is not going to happen with the current definition of IQ. As IQ is currently defined, the average IQ is exactly 100, so still three digits."

            Mean, Median or Mode?

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          As proved by your post, which is basically trolling.

      3. Huw D

        Wasn't that the whole push with Web 2.0? You can create a website and get someone else to create the content for you.

    2. alferdpacker

      Municipal Waste! Lamb of God! Another of Slayer's last UK gigs! TOOL!

      Sunday has a hell of a lineup towards the end.

  12. Alan Brown Silver badge

    People were thinking about online porn

    BEFORE online porn even existed.

    Asimov had it covered in the '50s.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: People were thinking about online porn

      Covered in what...

      [Mine's the dirty raincoat. Thanks.]

  13. DropBear

    Believe it or not, "oldschool" sex has (at least) one giant glaring problem: it kinda requires an available and willing partner. Now I do understand those more fortunate of us might find this hard to believe, but for some of the rest of us those are effectively insurmountable obstacles. And most "digital" versions tend to just don't have that problem...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      but for some of the rest of us those are effectively insurmountable obstacles. And most "digital" versions tend to just don't have that problem...

      Perhaps, but knowing my luck I'd get the Megurine Luka sexbot, and she'd reject me and shag the Miku sexbot instead...

      1. Teiwaz

        Rin-chan Nau!!

        Perhaps, but knowing my luck I'd get the Megurine Luka sexbot, and she'd reject me and shag the Miku sexbot instead...

        Not what I've heard

  14. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    APT ACTive Operands for a Greater Virtual Being in AIdDevelopments

    Surely there's not a great deal going on in there worth selling to the forces of criminality unless there is a teeming black market ...Alastair Dabbs

    There's always teeming black markets, AD, .... ergo .........there be honeypots to tender and server.:-)

  15. wabbit347
    Gimp

    Mandatory XKCD

    https://xkcd.com/598/

  16. Crisp
    Coat

    Some studio did a xxx parody remake of Barbarella

    It wasn't that much different.

    1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Re: Some studio did a xxx parody remake of Barbarella

      You mean it, unlike the original, was actually worth watching?

      1. Trilkhai

        Re: Some studio did a xxx parody remake of Barbarella

        I consider it (as well as its cousin Zardoz) worth watching purely for the stare-in-disbelief-at-the-surreal-trainwreck factor.

        1. Long John Brass

          Re: Some studio did a xxx parody remake of Barbarella

          Zardoz was pure awesome. For certain values of pure and certain value of awesome.

          You mileage may vary and settle during transit.

          Mines the one with the Cherry2000 disk in the pocket

        2. Teiwaz

          Re: Some studio did a xxx parody remake of Barbarella

          Inffinitly preferable to most movies produced from the mid 80's all the same.

          I prefer movies that run into the surreal rather than those designed to be understood by the vast masses of hick yokels who resent any expectations toward out of the box thinking.

  17. IceC0ld

    without human contact

    He reckons some of us will be having "great sex" without human contact within the next six years

    six YEARS ................

    I've been donning a glove so I can pretend it's someone else doing the dirty for at least 30 years ffs :o)

  18. herman

    ASCII art on a green Hercules graphics screen - Yeah da!

  19. Jonjonz

    PFP

    I can see it now, once online sex becomes feasible, I highly doubt the services will invest in sophisticated AI to drive the surrogates but instead, other anon players will drive your 'partnet', operating via a highly restricted window of allowed behavior by the server, while the dialog will be supplied by a huge Markovian server farm. Not PVP, but PFP.

  20. bombastic bob Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    politicians and other scammers

    thumbs up for that one

  21. JLV

    >Sex and drugs and auto-tune

    A harsh, and justified, indictment of the Kathy Perry, Ariana Grande and Dua Lipa generation, sir.

    To be fair, reading a Top 40 list from the 60s, my birth decade, shows a lot of stuff that seems equally vapid and insipid. Despite the occasional appearance of the Stones.

    Cage the Elephant, Lana Del Rey and Weezer back to you!

  22. Claverhouse Silver badge

    There is a theory that when a business decision or government policy does not make any logical sense, it can be explained by money or sex.

    Ideology seems a greater motivation for illogical failure; from the liberal idealisms of marxist-leninism or it's brother, Thatcherite Randite libertarianism, neither the USSR or our present governments in Britain escaped disaster, even in their own aims, judged by what they hoped to achieve.

    1. D Stortian

      On the other hand, it was possibly Napoleon who said something like 'Never attribute to malice anything that can be explained by stupidity'

      1. Patched Out

        Napolean's Razor?

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