back to article Set your alarms for 2.40am UTC – so you can watch Unix time hit 1,500,000,000

At 0240 GMT* precisely on Friday, July 14, an epoch-defining moment will happen. And only real nerds – along with Reg readers – will know what that moment is. The Unix epoch will pass its 1.5 billionth second in the small hours. A quick check with everyone's favourite scripting language, Perl, confirms this: $ perl - …

  1. Paul

    UTC is not the same as GMT, although for humans telling the time they're similar enough.

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Damn right. GMT and UTC can be up to 500ms different.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        GMT is clearly and self-evidently the best system.

        1. Swiss Anton

          "GMT is clearly and self-evidently the best system."

          UTC will of course be banned in Blighty after Brexit

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          GMT is clearly and self-evidently the best system.

          Indeed. And we should resist all attempts to get rid of it and move us permanently to BST.

          We invented it dammit! Least we can do is use our own invention..

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. Joseph Haig

        Damn right. GMT and UTC can be up to 500ms different.

        I need that extra time in bed in the morning!

    2. Adam 1

      Also, seconds! Really? I thought this was a tech site. Shirley we should be measuring time in beard metres.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Bard metres (preferably sung since the Late Bronze Age Collapse), shurely?

        That would be epic. And hellenistic.

    3. Missing Semicolon Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Damn right their not!

      For those of us old enough to remember programming with Java1.4, the confusion of GMT and UTC meant that Java programs running in the UK had no DST support. The only +00:00 time zone at the time was GMT, and that (being international) had no summer time.

      In the UK, you had to create a new time zone object that had the UK BST rules in it.

      For. Every. Bloody. Program.

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: Damn right their not!

        Code reuse. There is a reason for it.

    4. Oh Homer
      Trollface

      Eternal Epoch

      We should base a new epoch on copyright date for Mickey Mouse.

      That's pretty much guaranteed to never expire.

  2. Dave Pickles
    Mushroom

    Already??

    It seems like only yesterday that we had the 'billennium', where Unix timestamps went from 9 decimal digits to 10 and broke some locally-developed stuff.

    1. Wensleydale Cheese

      Re: Already??

      "It seems like only yesterday that we had the 'billennium', where Unix timestamps went from 9 decimal digits to 10 and broke some locally-developed stuff."

      More than 20 years ago. May 1997.

      Even VMS, which doesn't use Unix timestamps itself, needed patches to stuff which had its origins on Unix, like X11.

      1. Alister

        Re: Already??

        More than 20 years ago. May 1997.

        I suddenly feel very old...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Already??

          I suddenly feel very old...

          Try this one if you want to feel extremely old. The period of time between the start of the First World War and your birth, compared with your age.

          My age is greater than that. By over 20 years.

          (Of course, that works for anyone over the age of 52)

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Already??

            "Try this one if you want to feel extremely old."

            I prefer to feel overwhelmingly pointless since its impossible for me tontruly be old in a universal sense.

            For example, consider how many possible planets there are out there and how many might have life, how many had life, and how many existed and continue to exist despite life and whether life was necessary in the process of being a planet.

            You at the back there. Put the phone down.

            Nothing matters. We're all going to die and ultimately everything we do amounts to nothing.

            1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

              Re: Already??

              Nothing matters. We're all going to die and ultimately everything we do amounts to nothing.

              On a more positive note - at least that means that all politicians, everywhere, are even more useless than we already thought.

              And I'll leave you with the final comforting thought from Del Amitri:

              #Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all

              #The needle returns to the start of the song

              #And we all sing along like before

              #And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

          2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Already??

            Try this one if you want to feel extremely old. The period of time between the start of the First World War and your birth, compared with your age.

            My age is greater than that. By over 20 years.

            (Of course, that works for anyone over the age of 52)

            Well - that means I'm safe (until next Feb)..

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Already??

            I know what you mean. I still think of the First World War as "living memory", not yet really "history". And I remember when they cancelled the annual get-together of Boer War veterans because there weren't enough of them left to make it worthwhile...

            1. DropBear

              Re: Already??

              "Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn...?"

              1. werdsmith Silver badge

                Re: Already??

                Thinking back to 38 years ago puts you in 1981.

                In 1981 people thinking back 38 years were thinking of 1943. The allied invasion of Italy, the Soviet fightback on the Eastern front and the American Island hopping advance in the Pacific.

                1. jake Silver badge

                  Re: Already??

                  Do you realize that your post was made 74238802 ticks after the event mentioned in TFA?

      2. Thommy M.

        Re: Already??

        $ perl -MDateTime -lE'say DateTime->from_epoch( epoch => 1_000_000_000 )'

        2001-09-09T01:46:40

        $ date -u -d @1000000000

        Sun Sep 9 01:46:40 UTC 2001

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Ugh. Timeghost...

          @Thommy M.; No idea who modded you down; I was sitting looking at the 1997 date and thinking "hang on, twenty years back has to be way more than a third of the way to 1970"...

          @Anonymous coward; Fun fact for baby boomers- Cliff Richard's debut single "Move It" came out in 1958, closer to the final years of the Victorian era and the end of the 1800s than to the present day.

          Obligatory XKCD! Plus this.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Ugh. Timeghost...

            (Same AC as one who posted Timeghost comment, my editing time ran out...)

            @Anonymous coward; Also, at around 61.5 years old, you're still quite a bit younger than my Dad. :-O

            Also, Sgt. Pepper came out closer to the end of the First World War than to the present day...

            Also also also... for those who (like me) remember "You Spin Me Round" by "Dead or Alive" in the charts as kids, it hit number 1 in the UK 32 years and 4 months ago, closer to the release of the first widely successful rock n' roll record than to the present day.

            (Bear in mind that when I was a kid, twenty-year-old black and white footage of (e.g.) The Beatles seemed ancient, and rock n' roll was before that- and to be fair, 30 years *is* a long time, you just forget that "You Spin Me Round" is now that old too... ouch.)

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

            2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

              Re: Ugh. Timeghost...

              for those who (like me) remember "You Spin Me Round" by "Dead or Alive" in the charts as kids, it hit number 1 in the UK 32 years and 4 months ago

              I never got the hang of new-fangled music like that..

              (I jest - currently listening to Transatlantic live in Tilburg. Fine, modern prog[1] music)

              [1] If that's not an oxymoron..

            3. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Millenials

              One of my Granddaughters friends asked who Jimmy Hendrix was.

              My GD sniggered. She's had a proper music education as she's going to study it at Uni.

              The friend thought that 1970 was in the stone age. At least then the musicians actually played their instruments and you knew it if they missed a note (no effing auto-tune then).

              The friend was amazed at:-

              1) That Hyde Park concerts existed then

              2) How little a gig cost to go to and that you didn't have to book a year in advance or pay a booking fee.

              My how times were much simpler then. And the music was better.

              Time for me to get my zimmer frame then.

              1. Loud Speaker

                Re: Millenials

                The friend thought that 1970 was in the stone age.

                NO!

                The 1950's were the stone age - anyone who has ever watched the Flintstones should know that. Check out the fashions!

          2. Colin Wilson 2

            Jesus!

            ... and to think that Jesus was alive less than 40 of my lifetimes ago

            And my Grandad was born in 1888 - he was 11 when Johann Strauss II died- makes me feel practically Victorian myself.

            Strange stuff, time!

            1. HelpfulJohn

              Re: Jesus!

              Both of my parents were young children, just pre-teens, when the last soldier to fight in the USAlien Civil War died.

              That was in 1938. Just before the Second World War really got its skates on and began to involve the "important" countries.

              There was only one long human lifetime between the American Civil War and WWII.

            2. HelpfulJohn

              Re: Jesus!

              "... and to think that Jesus was alive less than 40 of my lifetimes ago"

              Which makes him the ancestor of just about everybody.

              One of them.

              Assuming he had descendants.

              Which, given his age and culture isn't such a stretch of the imagination.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Already??

      Must be logarithmic yesterday.

  3. sequester

    It can go on

    Vernor Vinge has an interstellar trade empire without FTL capability run on those timestamps in A Deepness in the Sky.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It can go on

      That sounds amazing.

      I've toyed with the idea of non-ftl space flight sci-fi and wrote a short story. I skipped commenting on the specifics of space travel, other than the fact it takes 30-60 years for the closest next point of interest (assuming constant 1g acceleration and deceleration to a 1-3ly away star).

      If I ever continue the story, there will be little to no external contact for the life off the colony. With the exception of materials/fuel trade (though in reality any system would hold more than enough of either and never need materials/energy trade).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It can go on

        If you have the ability for constant 1g acceleration you can go anywhere in the universe in your lifetime. Of course if you return, you will find things have changed quite a bit during the billions of years since you left.

        1. MyffyW Silver badge

          Re: It can go on

          Constant 1g acceleration would require a power source that can continually increase it's output, given energy is proportional to the square of velocity. If you've mastered that sort of power plant the universe is, indeed, yours.

          1. Aladdin Sane

            Re: If you've mastered that sort of power plant the universe is, indeed, yours.

            EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE.

            1. HelpfulJohn

              Re: If you've mastered that sort of power plant the universe is, indeed, yours.

              Some political committee is going to authorise at least one, probably with a submarine probe, probably one not totally sterilised. Then our chance of ever knowing if Europan life existed will be gone forever.

              "Europan", not "European". We already know that Brexit has killed the latter.

          2. h4rm0ny

            Re: It can go on

            And then you could begin on the next great technological break though - stopping!

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Up

          Re: It can go on

          Yep. That's why I assume 1g, and why the colonies even exist... for fuel. The only thing limiting space travel is fuel... though while "within your lifetime" is true, 30-60 years does not always leave much left for the rest of it. :P

        3. HelpfulJohn

          Re: It can go on

          Strangely, reaching 1C, (a hair short of) the speed of light takes almost exactly one year at one g.

          It's nice when the universe makes the numbers easy.

          She doesn't do it very often.

          It's also a little spooky that Earth's gravity, Earth's orbital period and the ultimate speed limit are coincidentally related.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It can go on

        With the exception of materials/fuel trade (though in reality any system would hold more than enough of either and never need materials/energy trade).

        Who is to say what the distribution of elements and materials might be across different systems until we start to explore them. Carbon is abundant on earth, but only a small proportion is present as diamond. Helium-3 is mooted as a handy fusion fuel, but in a system comprised only of rocky earth-sized planets would be scarce.

        Good luck with the story telling - there's plenty of scope for fiction out there :-)

        1. DJO Silver badge

          Re: It can go on

          Constant Acceleration at 1G is impossible for more than a few months.

          From stationary in 353 days 19 hours 45 minutes 23.004 seconds at a constant 1G you'd attain c which is not allowed.

          If you had an engine capable of producing a constant 1G which would also provide the illusion of gravity which would be nice for the crew, the trick would be to keep turning the ship around so you oscillate between (say) 0.75c and 0.9c so you'd still be prety fast but the time dilation would not be excessive and you'd have gravity (except when turning the ship) for the entire journey so no bone or muscle wasting.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            @DJO

            Einstein says you're wrong.

        2. HelpfulJohn

          Re: It can go on

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Night's_Dawn_Trilogy

          Good story. Has loads of economics theory but he manages to make it relevant and interesting.

          The ending is a little weak.

      3. Brangdon

        Re: subluminal space flight

        You might also be interested in Karl Schroede's Lockstep, Their spacecraft crew spend the journeys asleep, and the colonists adapt the same technology so they sleep during the period of no external contact. (While they sleep, robots mine the resources needed to sustain them when awake, thus allowing them to survive on marginal outer solar bodies.)

  4. PushF12
    Windows

    Perl? Yuck

    $ date -d @1500000000

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Year 2106

    I use uint32 for my timestamps, making it totally someone else’s problem.

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: Year 2106

      Some system's C time libraries act as if they use unsigned internally so they work fine post-2038, but others are more pedantic or just obstinate and consider the "negative signed" range as invalid.

      Certainly its a simple fix for a while for cases where you have a 4-byte space only (e.g. structures that have to map to a file) or some embedded stuff where 32-bits is still used to avoid the speed/power penalty of emulating 64-bit maths generally.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Year 2106

      Another approach is to officially define your time representation as cyclic: time is recorded modulo 2^32 seconds (or whatever) and disambiguation is left for someone else to sort out using whatever information is available from other sources. I think that approach was adopted for GPS timestamps, with a time period that is considerably shorter than 2^32 seconds, but still longer than any period over which people make precise (military) plans. The disadvantage is that you can never ask whether time A is before or after time B: it's always both.

      1. Colin Miller

        Re: Year 2106

        @AC, Yup, GPS counts the number of weeks since 1980, as a 10 bit unsigned integer. Thus it loops every 19.6 years. Wikipedia. Of course, if you don't know which decade it is, you've got bigger problems.

  6. hellwig

    Signed Integer

    Uh, for an absolute value, why would you store that in a signed integer? In what scenario is a negative time since epoch useful? An unsigned integer would have given 136-some years of reliability.

    I don't think we're talking in quantum terms here, and even then, is negative time/duration possible? Why would Unix dare to challenge the fundamental principles of our universe?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Signed Integer

      Why a signed integer? So you can represent dates before 1970.

      1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

        Re: Signed Integer

        "So you can represent dates before 1970"

        Not really, as many time_t related stuff uses -1 to indicate an error.

        You have to remember that the likes of time_t was created for the computer's sense of linear time (for more general uses where date/time format was commonly used) so UNIX creators cared not about pre-1970 and 1970 was therefore as good an epoch as any since 32-bits (or 31 really) put the range so far in the future that no one cared. Similarly DOS time and FAT file systems don't do pre-1980.

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge

          Re: Signed Integer

          If you use time(), it's never going to return -1 as a legitimate value, but you can still do arithmetic with signed time_t values.

        2. sawatts

          Re: Signed Integer

          Buggers up my time machine then.

      2. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: Signed Integer

        "So you can represent dates before 1970."

        Which would be good if it worked... Many moons ago I wrote some code to deal with ages. It worked fine for me, I was born in '73. My friend can along and broke it (born in '68) and there was no way the library was going to accept anything before 1970. In the end I wrote my own time library counting minutes from 1900 (seconds weren't relevant).

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge

          Re: Signed Integer

          Presumably many moons ago (invalid unit of measurement under Unix by the way) whatever version of libc you were using was in worse shape than now.

          I'm pretty sure if you recompiled it now, difftime() and so on would work.

    2. Gordon 11

      Re: Signed Integer

      Uh, for an absolute value, why would you store that in a signed integer? In what scenario is a negative time since epoch useful?

      Well, I was born before 1970, so it's useful to represent my date of birth.

      And dates BC(E) are also times before a data point.

      1. hellwig

        Re: Signed Integer

        When someone says "time me", do you respond with "Dec 16, 2004"? That's not a meaningful response.

        Time and Date are not synonymous.

        The TIME since Epoch is an absolute. Date is a different interpretation of a fact. And as many others have pointed out, negative time is not supported by the same mechanisms that use a signed integer for time.

        Also, say you were a developer on Unix in 1970, and you wanted to show off your new time feature using Dates, and your 70-year-old boss/professor tried to enter their birth date. It would not have worked. So I can't imagine that negative time to represent past dates was seriously considered. It's one thing to think "no one 68+ years from now will still be using this system." it's entirely different to say "No one will ever need to store a date prior to 1902."

        So, I stand by my statement.

    3. Colin Miller

      Re: Signed Integer

      @hellwing

      Uh, for an absolute value, why would you store that in a signed integer? In what scenario is a negative time since epoch useful? An unsigned integer would have given 136-some years of reliability.

      Using a signed time_t allows you to use time_t for both datetime, and for a duration. This is useful in procedural languages like C, however most OO languages use a separate DateTime and Duration types.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Signed Integer

        Using a signed time_t allows you to use time_t for both datetime, and for a duration. This is useful in procedural languages like C, however most OO languages use a separate DateTime and Duration types.

        That has nothing to do with OO vs. procedural.

        It's just what you want your bit pattern to MEAN.

    4. Loud Speaker

      Re: Signed Integer

      How dare the fundamental principles of our universe challenge the mighty Unix?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But when the unix runs out of bits, can't it just get the real time from the internet like amazon does?

  8. Notas Badoff

    Deep time

    Talk about Easter eggs. Is it possible that the definition of Unix time was influenced by someone French? La Marseillaise anyone?

  9. Alistair
    Windows

    umm

    [noydb log]# date -d @1500000000

    Thu Jul 13 22:40:00 EDT 2017

    [noydb log]# date -d @9999999999

    Sat Nov 20 12:46:39 EST 2286

    [noydb log]# date -d @10000000001

    Sat Nov 20 12:46:41 EST 2286

    well - F25 is not seeming to be a problem. Only reason I checked here is that I thought the int/uint bit would be a wee bit further out than 2038. However I'm on a 64bit fedora:

    Win7. hehehehehehehehe. nope, not going there. Even on 64bit win7. sad really.

    1. Paul Smith

      $ date -u -d @1500000000

      Fri Jul 14 02:40:00 UTC 2017

  10. Kernel
    Pint

    "The Unix epoch will pass its 1.5 billionth second in the small hours."

    So, shortly before beer o'clock for some of us.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      So, shortly before beer o'clock for some of us."

      And for some of us, an hour before sunrise but still about 3.5 hours before my early alarm will go off.

      Sun up is about 0440ish around here at this time of year.

  11. Kernel

    "The Unix epoch will pass its 1.5 billionth second in the small hours."

    So, shortly before beer o'clock Friday afternoon for us lucky few.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "So, shortly before beer o'clock Friday afternoon for us lucky few."

      ""So, shortly before beer o'clock for some of us.""

      Well that time period passed swiftly !

      1. Kernel
        Pint

        '

        "So, shortly before beer o'clock Friday afternoon for us lucky few."

        ""So, shortly before beer o'clock for some of us.""

        Well that time period passed swiftly !"

        Well done! - you managed to sneak in there during an edit. Have one yourself.

    2. Pomgolian
      Pint

      "So, shortly before beer o'clock Friday afternoon for us lucky few."

      < ? php echo date('r', 1500000000);

      Fri, 14 Jul 2017 14:40:00 +1200

      Only downside to early Friday beers is that it's flippin' freezing in NZ right now.

      1. Faceless Man

        About lunchtime round here. And many people see lunch time on Friday as being "beer o'clock" anyway. Not a lot gets done on Friday afternoons.

      2. Kernel

        "Only downside to early Friday beers is that it's flippin' freezing in NZ right now."

        Yes, I have noticed that minor defect - mainly because the cat has spent the last 2 days inside asleep!

        Mind you, freezing or not, I'm still looking forward to a brisk walk to a good Irish pub and a few of the 'black stuff' with appropriate music in about 6 hours

    3. jake Silver badge

      It was at a nice, civilized, just in time ...

      ... for an after dinner toast on Thursday evening in these here parts.

  12. JJKing
    Coat

    Are they cut out for this job?

    And here I thought a Unix was a "medically altered" guy who looked after the harem's ladies.

    I'd best see myself out before the comentards turn nasty.

    1. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Are they cut out for this job?

      No, because in this case the horologists watch over the Unix.

      Yes, yes, I'm right behind you.

  13. Phil Endecott

    Wow that makes me feel old.

    I recommend anyone aged about 31 to work out when their own billionth birthday will be and have a party.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Kids these days ...

      ... some of us are closer to our 2 billionth ;-)

  14. petef

    What self-respecting nerd is going to get worked up about a decimal pattern?

  15. Gene Cash Silver badge

    For the truly bored: "watch -n 1 date +%s"

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      watch: snp module not available: Operation not permitted

      watch: fatal: cannot open snoop device

      I guess it's not portable to FreeBSD

    2. anonCoward24

      Thank you, Gene Cash

      that's it. so.much.fun

  16. Atomsk

    Well shit! I hoped we would be away from this BST nonsense by then :(

    date -d @1111111111111

    Mon 17 Sep 08:18:31 BST 37179

  17. Mage Silver badge
    Joke

    I may have a problem Huston

    perl -MDateTime -lE'say DateTime->from_epoch( epoch => 1_500_000_000 )'

    Can't locate DateTime.pm in @INC (you may need to install the DateTime module) (@INC contains: /etc/perl /usr/local/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/perl/5.22.1 /usr/local/share/perl/5.22.1 /usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/perl5/5.22 /usr/share/perl5 /usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/perl/5.22 /usr/share/perl/5.22 /usr/local/lib/site_perl /usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/perl-base .).

    BEGIN failed--compilation aborted.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: I may have a problem Huston

      Download jQuery

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I may have a problem Huston

        Don't use perl.

  18. Jamie Jones Silver badge
    Coat

    I'm that saddo!

    Our thanks for the tipoff go to Reg reader Jamie (among others), who "thought some other saddos reading may be interested!" There's nothing sad about studying Unix timestamps, Jamie.

    W00T My name is El Reg lights!

    Maybe you're correct, but I'm definitely a saddo for this comment!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    1,500,000,000 GET

    The early penguin catches the GET

    1. enerider
      Happy

      Re: 1,500,000,000 GET

      Knew someone would do this - was not disappointed

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Unhappy

        Re: 1,500,000,000 GET

        I blew it by 1 second (1499999999)

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well that was much more fun than what I was supposed to be doing:

    $ date +"%s"

    1499999998

    $ date +"%s"

    1499999999

    $ date +"%s"

    1499999999

    $ date +"%s"

    1500000000

    $ date +"%s"

    1500000001

    $ date +"%s"

    1500000002

  21. decoherence
    Pint

    Well paint me chuffed and call me a dandy! That was AMAAAAZING! SPECTACULAR! What a time to be alive!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But think of the people who dies just a bit earlier.

  22. hekla

    done

    $ date -d @1500000000 ; date

    Fri Jul 14 12:40:00 AEST 2017

    Fri Jul 14 12:51:05 AEST 2017

  23. anonCoward24
    Childcatcher

    that was raucous good fun, but...

    Aren't we the geek supposed to be unto binary, and look from above our glasses those lower life forms that favor decimal ephemeridae?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: that was raucous good fun, but...

      The last power of 2 was in 2004, and the next isn't until 2038.

      It's all for nothing, because the internet will be destroyed by talking fridges before then.

  24. A K Stiles
    Coat

    Sun 28 Nov 04:35:28 UTC 2032

    That's the date I'm waiting for, in some unconscionable blend of decimal and hex delights.

  25. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Something fishy

    I can actually read that line of Perl which makes me suspect it isn't actually valid. Suggestions for some proper "write only" scripts?

  26. maffski

    BREAKING NEWS

    Non decimal counter stores number which is vaguely interesting when viewed in decimal. More after this message...

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1.5 billion seconds

    Amazing. That's literally 200,000,000 hearbeats of the average hibernating bear.

    1. Glenturret Single Malt

      Re: 1.5 billion seconds

      And how many intestinal contractions?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 1.5 billion seconds

        Depends on the curry.

  28. mikecoppicegreen

    Time, as they say, is Relative....

    What follows is arguably the most famous single sequence in any Goon Show. The show is The Mysterious Punch-up-the-Conker (series 7, episode 18). About 25 minutes in the show, Bluebottle and Eccles are "in the ground floor attic" of a clock repairers. After listening to lots of timepieces ticking, chiming, cuckooing etc. for a while...

    Bluebottle What time is it Eccles?

    Eccles Err, just a minute. I, I've got it written down 'ere on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.

    Bluebottle Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?

    Eccles Well, umm, if a anybody asks me the ti-ime, I ca-can show it to dem.

    Bluebottle Wait a minute Eccles, my good man...

    Eccles What is it fellow?

    Bluebottle It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.

    Eccles I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.

    Bluebottle Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?

    Eccles Ah, den I don't show it to dem.

    Bluebottle Ooohhh...

    Eccles [Smacks lips] Yeah.

    Bluebottle Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?

    Eccles I've got it written down on a piece of paper!

    Bluebottle Oh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.

    Eccles Oohhhh.

    Bluebottle 'Ere Eccles?

    Eccles Yah.

    Bluebottle Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? - 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'.

    Eccles What? I've been sold a forgery!

    Bluebottle No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.

    Eccles Oh dear.

    Bluebottle You should get one of them tings my grandad's got.

    Eccles Oooohhh?

    Bluebottle His firm give it to him when he retired.

    Eccles Oooohhh.

    Bluebottle It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettil, and pours a cuppa tea.

    Eccles Ohhh yeah! What's it called? Um.

    Bluebottle My granma.

    Eccles Ohh... Ohh, ah wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock?

    Bluebottle She's got it written down on a piece of paper!

  29. anonCoward24
    Devil

    hex?

    66 66 66 66 is in 7 years...

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