You'll get a kick out of this: Qualcomm patents the 'Internet of Shoes'

Chip-and-lawsuit designer Qualcomm has drawn up a patent on blueprints for an internet-connected shoe. The semiconductor firm has filed an application with the US Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) for something it simply calls "Internet of Shoes." The abstract of the application describes it as: A connected shoe apparatus …

[Voland's right hand]

They are late to the party

Hi-Tec has been shipping these for at least a year now which means they were most likely developed prior to 2015.

I believe there was even a review on the register of this gadget. While I am fan of Hi-Tec shoes in general, I looked at the price and decided to pass.

[Kevin McMurtrie]

You'd think Qualcomm would restrain over-the-top patent trolling until that lawsuit is settled. (Trolling because it's obvious and not a new idea)

[redpawn]

Tactile possibilities

Since tactile feedback can be given, the shoe could be used to transmit Braile to parts of the foot. Books on feet and advertisements which reach out and touch the soul would naturally follow.

[macjules]

Re: Tactile possibilities

Surely you mean "which reach out and touch the sole"?

[redpawn]

Re: Tactile possibilities

An advertiser not take advantage of homonyms? It would be mundane for shoes to touch the sole but glorious for them to touch the soul, unless you think about it that is.

[Anonymous Coward]

So...

If your GPS tells your shoes you're in a bad neighbourhood your shoes will tell you to pick up the pace ?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hi Dave....

....I've noticed you have overpronation. How about a new pair of Mizuno Wave 12's. Currently on Amazon for £85.99. Jump 5 times to buy now.

[AlgernonFlowers4]

Not So Smart Shoes

Shoes: User Error - Wrong Feet Detected!

Me: These are the only feet I've got!

[ganymede io device]

Was Puma RS patented?

Puma RS Computer Shoe from 1986.

Not quite prior art.

http://uk.complex.com/sneakers/2015/03/puma-killing-it-in-running-science-for-over-80-years/1986-puma-designed-the-worlds-first-apple-compatible-shoe-nearly-30-years-ago

http://www.atarimagazines.com/compute/issue79/IBM_Personal_Computing.php

[jake]

Methinks ...

... Qualcomm needs a boot to the head.

[ARGO]

You can already buy these

It was being demo'd at MWC this year:

http://www.lechal.com/

[Sartori]

Just what we need...

Won't somebody save arseho...... erm..... our soles!!

It's a bit of a shame Sneakernet is already a thing.

[Mystic Megabyte]

Want!

Where can I get those anti-gravity clogs from?

[Captain Hogwash]

Performance specs?

What are the typical boot times of these shoes?

[VinceH]

Disappointment

Imagine my disappointment... image and explanation on twitter.

[I am the liquor]

The latest patent troll strategy

I guess it's the bullshit patent formula of our time. Once it was "business process X, but in software." Then it was "business model X, but on a web site." Now it's "everyday object X, but connected to the internet."

[handle]

A nod to Douglas Adams is appropriate at this point, I feel.

[Flakk]

Obligatory "Red Dwarf" Reference

Lister: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea: no matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home. But he got ratted one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma. You see, the shoes got bored just going from his local to the flat. They wanted to see the world, like, you know. He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down, you know.

Rimmer: Is this true?

Lister: Yeah. Last thing he heard, they'd sort of, erm, robbed a car and drove it into a canal. They couldn't steer, you see.

Rimmer: Really?

Lister: Yeah. Petersen was really, really blown away about it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him... he said it was alright and all that, like, and that the shoes were happy and that they'd gone to heaven. You see, it turns out shoes have 'soles'.

[Anonymous Coward]

Maxwell Smart would be proud...

Is Qualcomm going to invent the Cone of Silence next?

[earl grey]

what's next? computers in your shorts?

You should have gone to the loo back there... ewwww

Change me now!

[JLV]

One hopes a clever USPTO clerk, cognizant of the infinite stupidity of this application, gives it the boot.

In fact EL Reg should file it under Bootnotes as well.

[GrapeBunch]

Imagine

My name in lights. No, not your name in lights, my name in lights.

[John Brown (no body)]

What a bunch of wusses we hav here.

22 comments and not single mention of sneakernet?

I'm ashamed to be part of commentadariat today!!!!

[jake]

Re: What a bunch of wusses we hav here.

John Brown (no body), see this https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/3182776 post, some 14 hours before yours.

It's Friday. Have a beer! :-)

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: What a bunch of wusses we hav here.

Whoopsie, missed that. Thanks for the beer :-)

[Ken Moorhouse]

Fine, now we've all got to be able to Triple Click to go Home

Dunno what I'm talking about? One word clue: Dorothy.

[Anonymous Coward]

What?

Can one really patent such a trivial (and trite) idea in the USA? It doesn't say much for the level of 'intellectual' property.

[BongoJoe]

Logging

Why would I want to know how many steps my right shoe has made more than my left?

[jake]

Re: Logging

To see if you turn right more than you turn left? Cheaper to put a dime-store pedometer in each sock, though ... and just as useful. That's to say "not".

I won't comment on the stupidity of the current iteration of the USPTO as it is self evident. You are quite welcome.

[Public Citizen]

Whole New Meaning

to having your foot in your mouth.

[Milton]

And when hacked ...

In the UK, there will be a Tory bill to allow security services or police to take control of your Internet of Feet. Those suspected of dreaming about thinking of considering possibly doing something that might one day be illegal will be compelled, by a series of electric shocks to the feet, to walk to the nearest police station and surrender for a mind scan.

[M7S]

Would any connected display be....

....interlacing?