back to article King Battistelli's swish penthouse office the Euro Patent Office doesn't want you to see

Very few people have seen the 10th floor of the European Patent Office's ISAR building in Munich since it's been renovated – and for good reason. Although hundreds of staff once worked on that floor, EPO president Benoit Battistelli decided that – at the same time the patent office budgeted €205m to construct an entirely new …

  1. James 51

    Bodyguards are the brake cutilting isn't a bad idea for him. The sooner he goes the better but I think he'll hang onto the bitter end cause he's never going to get another gig like this one.

    1. Matt Ryan

      Being a technocratic placeman, what makes you think he won't be promoted? Next President of France perhaps?

      1. Uffish

        Being a technocratic placeman...

        ... is not a good career choice for being elected President of France; he might try for Mayor of Saint-Germain-en-Laye I suppose. Probably, if he succeeds in getting his successors well and truly hog-tied with red-tape and oversight, he will enjoy a peaceful retirement and the thanks of a grateful nation.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Is there any part of EU governance that isn't courrupt?

      Inquiring minds want to know.

      1. stephanh

        Re: Is there any part of EU governance that isn't courrupt?

        EPO ≠ EU. Different treaty, different membership.

        Perhaps I am hopelessly naive, but I believe the EU is not uniformly corrupt.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Is there any part of EU governance that isn't courrupt?

          >EPO ≠ EU. Different treaty, different membership.

          Also with the UN but the end result is the same (minus the pedophile peace keepers for EPO at least but not EU, ie French).

  2. BebopWeBop
    Joke

    The more

    This saga rumbles on, the more I can't help feeling it is a Cohen brothers farce ( on one of their bad days). Accountability - ha ha ha.

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: The more

      Re: Cohn brothers:

      Dogma...the boardroom scene.

  3. Brenda McViking
    Joke

    Well I think the Americans should learn from this glorious leader's actions - if they can make the USPO as ineffectual as the EPO with just one man at the top, then the rest of us in industry wouldn't have to keep worrying about whether stuff with milleniums' worth of prior art was patentable - after all, you cannot patent "slide to unlock" when everyone at the patent office is out on strike over the content of the last royal decree!

    1. James 51

      I have a slide to lock mechanism on my garden gate. Pretty sure my grandfather has something similar. How long do patents last for?

  4. Steve Gill

    He's doing a great job of pushing the boundaries and proving where the flaws in the system are by exploiting them for his own profit

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Too bad he's not at the USPTO, because then he could patent all his processes for exploiting the flaws in the system!

      (But then, he doesn't look like he's doing too badly where he is.)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Normal For Munich

    Most of what is in the photographs is pretty normal by Munich corporate standards. Despite the Oktoberfest, it isn't all about beer in that city.

    Some of that space is used for "official" entertaining.

    By all accounts, Battistelli is vile, but better not to over-egg stories like this, lest the hyperbole swamps the apparently entirely justified criticism.

    1. Bronek Kozicki

      Re: Normal For Munich

      I would argue that a whole floor for "president suite" is excessive, but even allowing for that the much bigger problem is lack of transparency.

      1. TDog

        Re: Normal For Munich

        There is a huge amount of transparency, just look at all of the windows... Structural changes no less. I don't see who could object for a few million euros to promote top floor transparency.

      2. Uberseehandel

        Re: Normal For Munich

        The space is not solely for the exclusive use of Battistelli, it also has a conference room, and a hospitality suite. I have no truck with the man's behaviour, he is vile. The board of the EPO is demonstrably incompetent as their ineffectual attempts to rein-in or dispense with the man demonstrate.

        Transparency is a relative concept, in much of the world. in this case, some photographs got out, that is pretty transparent by some standards.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Normal For Munich

        I would argue that a whole floor for "president suite" is excessive,

        Standard corporate practice if there is an issue with "C-suite security". You can very easily secure a floor in any building by adding key-card access to the lift. Securing a section of the floor instead is significantly more difficult and quite often more expensive. This prevents unfortunate incidents when the CEO or CTO needs to call an ambulance because he is missing some teeth.

        EPO is not alone here, I can think of AT LEAST one major Silicon valley company which has had to introduce similar arrangements.

    2. Schultz
      Flame

      "pretty normal by Munich corporate standards"

      Except that it's not corporate money paying for this. The patent office is ultimately a body created by the national governments and it might be reasonable to expect it to follow the rough expectations we have for government spending. After all, it's not like you could just spend you patent money elsewhere if you want to avoid paying the EPO.

      But then, they seem to have an "annual budget of around EUR 2bn [...] financed entirely from procedural and renewal fees for European patents. So what is a few millions here and there.

      1. Nolveys

        Re: "pretty normal by Munich corporate standards"

        it might be reasonable to expect it to follow the rough expectations we have for government spending.

        Stuff like this is exactly what I expect when it comes to government spending. Oh well, it's just tax money, there's an infinite quantity of it.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Normal For Munich

      So why ask to take them down? Let the architect be proud of his work!

    4. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: Normal For Munich

      Is that you, Battistelli?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Normal For Munich

        "Is that you, Battistelli?"

        That's "Your Majesty" to you.

  6. Pen-y-gors

    The real culprits

    Clearly any reasonable person would agree that the evidence revealed to date of King B's behaviour means that he should have been out on his arse a while ago, and subsequent detailed audits may reveal other action that needs to follow.

    However, the big question is why he isn't. There have been several attempts to remove him which have been blocked by various national politicians. Why? Who has what on who? Cui bono? Europol must be good for something.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The real culprits

      With almost every European politician - regardless of their party - caught paying family member with taxpayers money for fake assistant jobs, do you really expect more effective audits?

    2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: The real culprits

      However, the big question is why he isn't. There have been several attempts to remove him which have been blocked by various national politicians. Why?

      "One hand washes the other, and they both wash the face."

      It's the old boys' club mentality.

      // No torches and pitchforks icon?

      // how about a guillotine icon?

  7. ChrisJC

    Sounds like a kick up the bottom is required to rattle the Euro Bureaucracy into touch, perhaps a nation deciding that enough is enough.......

    I am sure there are a few Greek or Spanish or Italian unemployed that would have a differing view on spending priorities. Austerity for the King?!

    Chris.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Just as well that he doesnt need to answer to them then..

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "few Greek or Spanish or Italian unemployed"

      There's a reason why Battistelli last name looks to have an Italian origin, or something like that. Not a little percentage of unemployed people would like to live out of someone else money like Battistelli does, with no accountability. It's one of the reasons Italy and Greece are in the actual situation...

      1. Tom 38

        Re: "few Greek or Spanish or Italian unemployed"

        There's a reason why Battistelli last name looks to have an Italian origin, or something like that. Not a little percentage of unemployed people would like to live out of someone else money like Battistelli does

        Nice bit of casual national stereotyping. Unfortunately, he's actually French, so we need to think of him as a beret wearing, cheese eating surrender monkey. Probably smells of garlic.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "few Greek or Spanish or Italian unemployed"

          I'm Italian so I can stereotype Italians. He's French, but his last name has a big chance of being of Italian origin.

          And I very well know how many Italians live of subsidies they commit fraud to obtain. There was exactly the other day an editorial on Corriere della Sera, one of the main Italian newspapers, on the issue. The issue was one of those evidenced in the 'spending review' of Carlo Cottarelli, now executive director at IMF.

          Do not believe all 'common people' are different from guys like Battistelli.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: "few Greek or Spanish or Italian unemployed"

            Doesn't happen in the UK. Generally useless ex-finance ministers are forced to take menial clerical jobs in a declining industry

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "Unfortunately, he's actually French ...."

          Corsican SVP ...

  8. DropBear

    I'm all for tarring this guy at the first opportunity (and how the expense gets justified is certainly a legitimate question), but in this case I don't really see any Olympic pool sized jacuzzis with golden faucets - sure a bit flashy but nothing that would be out of place in any top level management bod's office. Okay, sure, this is a public institution but it's not like anybody has ever seen any high ranking "public servant" sitting on a wooden bench (or an IKEA chair for that matter) at work...

  9. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    Windows

    Contrast

    Post some images of the peons' work area?

    I'll just bet it's rows of "dining table" style work stations.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Abolish patents once and for all

    They've outlived their usefulness as technological milestone markers and are just used as economic weapons.

    If the patent office has so much money to spare, they probably can't make objective decisions anyway.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Re: Abolish patents once and for all

      But.. But.. Think of the large international conglomerates!

      Wont someone think of the large international conglomerates!

    2. Stuart21551

      Re: Abolish patents once and for all

      You are absolutely correct, patents are only for the benefit of the patent attorney industry. And a few megacorps.

  11. nijam Silver badge

    It all looks very stylish, and *so* well-equipped for defenestration.

    1. MrDamage Silver badge

      But think of the poor street cleaners.

      A turd the size of Battistelli would leave one hell of a splat mark to clean up.

  12. Matt_payne666

    How much for some trunking...

    I dont know if its just me... but i really hate the council approach to hanging a telly on the wall and letting the cables dangle down....

    1. Tom 7

      Re: How much for some trunking...

      I would imagine that would be a management 'afterthought'. Having stamped foot and demanded this be done now with no arguments it turns out there is no way of burying the cables or finding matching trunking,

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No jacuzzi?

    While it does look nice, it doesn't really seem to be massively overboard.

    For example, there's no jacuzzi. That generally indicates he doesn't use the place (that often) for "non work" entertainment.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well, if you don't like the EUrocrats...

    You could always vote to leave. Oh. Wait...

  15. Jeffrey Nonken

    It's GOOD to be the king!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "His six personal bodyguards were already viewed as excessive..."

    Given the level of love for this guy, I would have thought six was the bare minimum.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

    If EU governance is so dysfunctional they can't get rid of a guy like this after all this time, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with it either. At least us yanks voted for our "king", and we'll probably be rid of him before this fool is gone.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Re: I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

      Well that's why the US is better then the EU, at least you get some say.

      Had this happened in the States he would of been ousted a long time ago.

      Its by no means perfect, your last election was between a flaming piece of shit and a war criminal, and sensibly most Americans took the logical step and just stayed home.

      But if anything it just means that western nations really need to think about implementing a "None Of The Above" option on votes, meaning that if the people dont like what they see and "NOTA" wins, they start again with with new candidates.... and the old ones are shot into the sea via catapult, trebuchet or other medieval means of propulsion... okay.. okay I know you Americans prefer Canon's its not a sticking point with me..

      1. David 132 Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

        ooFie okay I know you Americans prefer Canon's its not a sticking point with me..

        Use of canons has been superceded by the Vicars machine gun.

    2. Bronek Kozicki

      Re: I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

      EU governance is not too dissimilar IMO, however you need to remember that EPO is not governed by EU. Instead it is an organ (one of two) of European Patent Organization, which is an international organization not bound to EU (and few of its members are not EU states). The other organ is Administrative Council of EPO, and this is where responsibility for keeping (or removing) Battistelli is.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Gimp

        Re: I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

        No what it is is a bureaucratic wet dream, where funding appears to come from everywhere.

        Responsibility is off in a far flung distant land, and even if you get there its a leper colony no one want to touch, you know like most Quango's, where political classes go to cum in everyone faces with no fear of reprisals.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

        That is an oversimplification.

        The EU has observer status on the Administrative Council.

        28 (or 27 post-Brexit) of the EPO member states are also EU states.

        Thus if the EU states took a common line they could command almost three quarter majority on the Council.

        The EPO is also being used by the EU to administrate the Unitary Patent.

        So it's way too easy to say that the EU has no role or responsibility for this mess.

        1. Bronek Kozicki

          Re: I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

          @AC thanks for clarification.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I'm starting to understand the Brexit vote

          So the EU is only an observer and it is run by "member states". So has not much to do with the European Union per se. If all those states were to leave the Union in a Brexit-style tantrum the Council would still continue as normal.

  18. Mr. A. N. Onymous

    I hope he pees on his shoes in that fancy schmancy bathroom.

  19. ecofeco Silver badge

    6 bodyguards?

    A little self important there, is he?

  20. Filippo Silver badge

    Interesting to see that most comments to this article have a single downvote. Makes you wonder if Battistelli reads The Register.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Makes you wonder if Battistelli reads The Register."

      You must be joking. He has a well-paid PR Team do do the dirty work for him.

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