back to article Audi works with Chinese technology companies to develop intelligent cars

German carmaker Audi has signed agreements with Chinese technology companies Alibaba, Baidu and Tencent to work on data analysis, internet connected vehicles and intelligent public transport. Audi China and FAW-Volkswagen – a joint venture between state-owned car manufacturer FAW Group and Volkswagen that makes Audi and …

  1. hplasm
    Devil

    Audi Intelligent cars.

    Lock their drivers out*. Film at 11.

    *After monitoring whether indicators have ever been used or not.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Audi Intelligent cars.

      Wishful thinking. Can they license that one to BMW too (and to Mercedes specifically for Eastern Europe).

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Audi Intelligent cars.

      Indicators? Audi? Never. Audi's are the new Beemers.

      Add to that, there is the blindness of the drivers who seem to think that solid double white lines are there for crossing at all times as the driver of the RS8 as he overtook me on a blind corner last Tuesday afternoon. He was faced with an Artic coming the other way so the Audi ended up in a ditch.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Audi Intelligent cars.

        so the Audi ended up in a ditch.

        Presumably it couldn't have happened to a better person. The problem is that I doubt that he will learn the lesson.

        1. joed

          Re: Audi Intelligent cars.

          Well, he (presumably) was not a total a..e and "responsibly" landed only himself in that ditch. World of intelligent vehicles will be full of close (by human standards) calls. One will have to look the other way and grow thick skin. Bad drivers at least also risk their lives. Computers... relay on

          infallibility of the code.

          1. werdsmith Silver badge

            Re: Audi Intelligent cars.

            Audi indicators get used all the time. Exclusively on Audis, use of the indicator lights in hazard mode exempts the driver from parking restrictions.

            Audi adaptive cruise control code sample:

            if ( dist_to_car_in_front >= ONE_METRES) { accelerate(MAX); headlights_Full_Beam(TRUE); };

  2. MotionCompensation

    We'll need self diving cars

    The drivers will be too busy updating their FB status, posting photos of what they see on Instagram etc to be driving themselves.

    1. hplasm
      Coat

      Re: We'll need self diving cars

      "...self diving cars..."

      Another use for MS Surface tech?

    2. MotionCompensation

      Re: We'll need self diving cars

      Make that driving. I should not have posted that while driving.

  3. 0laf
    Black Helicopters

    "With Tencent, Audi is working on integrating WeChat MyCar services into its cars. The first features to be implemented will be location sharing and music sharing, it said."

    Kindly include an off switch.

    1. hplasm
      Joke

      Will they do one for Rap music?

      In collaboration with 50Cent?

      Spinners optional...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Audi works with Chinese technology companies to develop intelligent cars

    They need to, given the intellectual capacity of most of the drivers.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Audi works with Chinese technology companies to develop intelligent cars

      Nothing wrong with their intelligence; it's all the other idiot drivers not knowing the road belongs to them.

  5. ratfox
    Devil

    The world is changing

    Maybe at some point, people will stop thinking that innovation can only happen in Silicon Valley.

    1. Mike 125

      Re: The world is changing

      Absof'kinlutely. I worked on GSM mobiles, way back when Japan came to the UK just to get the application processor to talk to the DSP. The West now goes East for an order of magnitude higher level hardcore smarts. Wow. How it's all turned around.

  6. nilfs2
    Thumb Down

    Stop putting distractions into cars!!!

    All those gadgets should be banned, aren't drivers distracted enough already?

  7. Mage Silver badge

    Technology Companies? Really!

    Alibaba, Baidu and Tencent to work on data analysis, internet connected vehicles and intelligent public transport.

    That's equivalent to Ebay, Twitter and Facebook running Public Transport.

    Not one of those are Technology companies. They are companies using the Internet for delivery of Marketing, Social Media and Services.

    What are VW/Audi smoking

    1. Robert Moore

      Re: Technology Companies? Really!

      > What are VW/Audi smoking

      Just the exhaust from their diesels. :)

      1. joed

        Re: Technology Companies? Really!

        maybe their vehicle will cheat more intelligently, in fact it will no longer be coded, it'll be learned

  8. s. pam Silver badge
    Angel

    Will they also develop a Feckwit detector?

    For the driver incapable of driving the speed limit, giving way, or driving with any homo sapiens tendencies whatsoever please!

  9. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Coat

    Vorspung Durch T̶e̶c̶h̶n̶i̶c̶ Chinesisch

    as they now say in Germany

  10. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    "...WeChat MyCar services..."

    TheNext BigThing WillBe TheseSilly CompoundWords?

    StuPid.

  11. Yesnomaybe

    "new energy vehicles"???

    What, like zero-point energy and quantum froth and suchlike?

  12. Yugguy

    Tampon cars

    White Audis are like tampons round my way.

    Nothing shows your financial superiority better than having exactly the same car as your neighbour.

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