If The Register made reality music TV, this is what it would look like

Spotify is spending a lot of money on original music-related video content. Some of it is dull and worthy, but some of it has the surreal desperation of Alan Partridge attempting to revive his career. Inspired by this, we invited readers to come up with their own candidates for new music TV shows – and you didn't disappoint. …

[Known Hero]

Some of those are real class, Off to go find the original thread to find the missed golden ones!!

[Alexander J. Martin]

Link's Links: In which Zelda's hero does his best to ease web-travel for netizens, or something, etc.

That's the comment thread for the lazy, is what I mean.

[lglethal]

The thought that came to my mind with Link's Links was the eponymous Hero battling to get a birdie on a wet and windy day at St Andrews!

What do you mean its not Friday yet?

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Sir

Narrowed to six candidates - only 5 available to vote for, hmmm.

[Mark 85]

Re: Sir

We best notify Fox News and CNN.. there's an election scandal brewing here. We'll let them argue if this a conspiracy by the right or the left while the rest of us go have a beer.

[caffeine addict]

Why isn't mine there?

I know that I haven't actually entered a suggestion because I didn't know about it, but deadlines for votes are flexible now, right?

[Michael B.]

Radio Shed - the twist

The twist being once they have assembled their radio they find out that all they can get on their DAB receiver is bubbling mud.

[Mayhem]

Re: Radio Shed - the twist

God Loves New Zealand, he gave us boiling mud.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVcUF5XduEk

[Chris G]

Camberwick Green meets Tarantino

I voted for Oldfields as I think it's a subject for a great deal of conflict and consequently gratuitous violence but I would really like to see a pilot for Camberwick Green meets Tarantino on The Archers (screen version);

Pig and cow heads on rural fence posts along with slo-mo Katana fights in The Bull in Ambridge.

I am willing to provide genuinely sharp pointy things for the show's props as I collect such things, also willing to help cast suitably sexy female Samurai combatants and choreograph the fight scenes.

In order to keep a slightly IT angle to a Reg production, sharpened iPads could be used instead of shuriken.

For the music angle these guys could do the Title theme https://www.reverbnation.com/pastoralmutilation

[allthecoolshortnamesweretaken]

Re: Camberwick Green meets Tarantino

Throw in some Ninjas and we're good to go.

(I'd pay good money to see this. Heck, I'd pay good money to hear a radio version. Used to listen to 'The Archers' when we still could get BFBS* on FM over here.)

^{* "The radio division of the SSVC."}

[ChrisElvidge]

Re: Camberwick Green meets Tarantino

Why not get the podcasts: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qpgr/episodes/downloads.rss

[ChunkyMonkey]

What happened to the morning?

I can honestly say that after reading all of the original posts, the morning has disappeared.

I must stop looking at the user comments!

MUST DO SOME WORK (repeat 10 times)

[Pedigree-Pete]

Cats

Robert Smith in a Vetenarian theamed show involving Cats. YouTube videos optional. PP

[TRT]

I missed the original...

I'd have gone for "Top of the Clash"... a sort of University Challenge crossed with Wipeout challenge that sees schools compete in regional heats before a national final. A sort of team based Krypton factor for 12-16 year olds. Fronted by neopunk rock band The Clash

[allthecoolshortnamesweretaken]

Re: I missed the original...

"Fronted by neopunk rock band The Clash"

Wot? "Neopunk"? The Clash formed in 1976. They more or less started punk singlehandedly. Really, kids these days... Now get off my lawn!

[TRT]

Re: I missed the original...

Neo as in there at the beginning. Or is that proto?

Anyway, scrap that.

Axl's Buns and Roses. In which he visits traditional village tea rooms and bakeries.

[Anonymous Coward]

Herman's Hermit Crabs. A sea cruise insight into the world of crustaceans with Mrs Browns lovely daughter, guaranteed to be something good.

[Chris G]

Sea? Wet! Peter Noone? Wet!

Now if Mrs Brown's lovely daughter was wet, or at least moist, that would be interesting!

I haven't read all of the suggestions for shows so someone may well have beaten me to this idea for a reality show;

Each week round up a few 15 minute celebs, ferry them to some god forsaken place on the planet with a few days supply of food.

Leave them there!

This could run indefinitely as the supply seems never ending.

[Anonymous Coward]

The Alan Parsons Project Parson Project

Where the 70s prog rock band gradually eliminates contestants in the quest for the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

[Spleen]

Muse Mews - property programme with the pioneering stadium rockers as they tour some of the most desirable residential streets in Britain.

[caffeine addict]

Coldplay's cold play - musicians make fat kids run around a rugby pitch in the snow.

Flip and Fill Flip and Fill - Musical duo buy a house. While one of them tries to tart it up for a quick profit, the other tries to fill it with stuff bought from junk shops.

[Unep Eurobats]

G-Spotify

I thought the bad-taste Good Vibrations suggestion was going to be something involving, er, automated self-pleasure, shall we say.

[The real Alfie Noakes]

The Jam's jams - Paul Weller and co. pass judgement on the finest preserves that the country can muster.

[andy k O'Croydon]

I''d be interested in them scrutinising Will Smith's claim that he never made a whack jam.

[Haku]

Aw I missed the original thread, however:

.

Mike and the Mechanics

By day they fix mediocre cars, by night they make mediocre music.

.

Huey Lewis and the News at Ten

The daily news sung in classic 80s rock style.

[Ian Bush]

Re: Aw I missed the original thread, however:

So did I, and given it's El Reg I was amazed that nobody was straight in with Kate's Bush - a horticultural masterpiece in the waiting, surely. (My own name has nothing to so with this observation...)

[DarkLordofSurrey]

I wonder if you'll find that WD drive in the drawer fom the last competition you never picked a winner from :D

[Anonymous Coward]

The Who, Pete Townsend's investigative journalism piece at the house of lords to see if a link between Alzheimer's and paedophilia can be established.

[Anonymous Coward]

This is a rubbish polling system. Why are we allowed single transferable?

[Florida1920]

Hand me down my walking cane

Voted for Oldfield because his was the only musician's name I recognized.

[WalterAlter]

Peanut-headed Appalachian inbreed music concept.

[Chris G]

OK WalterAlter; Banjo Vs Guitar duel.

How about Music Wars, musicians with weaponised instruments battling it out on a Knock-out basis (excuse the pun) week to week, last man/woman standing wins a custom French Horn.

Roy Rogers had a Winchester in his guitar, and I think Antonio Banderas hadsomething similar in one of his films, blow darts in a flute, arrows from a double bass, and of course a real axe in a rockers hands etc.

[WalterAlter]

The Reg is already hip, it doesn't have to rub our noses in it with speculation upon cultural minutiae. Better they get the LOHAN number back on the charts.

[Chz]

Write in vote

I don't care if it's tasteless (Well, actually I do. That's *why* it's fantastic.), I want Good Vibrations.

[lawndart]

I'd not spotted the competition

Otherwise I would have been straight in with:

Farage's Far Rages

A quiz show where the team have to work out what a distant Nigel is throwing a strop about this week.

[Wingtech]

T-rex Bake Off

Imagine, if you dare, a collection of late and near-late glam-rockers competing to cook some fat-containing baked goods.

Additional prizes awarded for Sprinkles and glitter (NO, not him!)

[Anonymous Coward]

Wish you were here, Rogers Waters joins Judith Chalmers for the popular travel show and some psychedelic substances with hilarious consequences.

[Jason Bloomberg]

Gary Glitter Balls

Gary provides sparkling classical dance events for the young debonair.

Gary recreates the 70s disco era for the local school end of term dance.

Gary provides entertainment for the gang with just a bag of Poundland Glitter and a Pritt Stick.

You decide. Mine's the one with a receipt from PC World in the pocket.

[Herby]

I'm surprised...

No title with BOFH in it somewhere. That would make a nice series for El Reg's audience to watch.

One would need an endless supply of No. 2's bosses.

[Francis Boyle]

How about

an hour-long documentary about Shane MacGowan getting his teeth fixed.

I'd try to come up with a punning title but I'm afraid I would get it wrong.

[Phil W]

Choices

It's hard to pick from the available options.

While Radio Shed is an amusing concept in principal, it was spoiled for me by the specification of DAB. Given how long Radio Shack/Tandy have been out of business (and more specifically out of the business of selling electronic components) it seems unlikely the necessary components for more modern DAB technology could be found there. Personally I would amend this idea to say that they have to build a functional and reasonably powerful analog two way set, the effectiveness of which would be tested by dumping them on a desert island with their hand crafted radio kit as their means of calling for help.

Tinie Tempah's Tiny Temper I'm pretty sure is already being made in the form of the new series of Top Gear where he has been inexplicably recruited as guest.

Hugh Grant's Huge Grants was actually by far the best idea, possibly only topped by the similarly alliterative idea's of my own.

Hugh Laurie's Huge Lorries, where Hugh Laurie attempts to drive HGVs of increasing size along improbably difficult routes with no experience or training.

Hugh Laurie's Lewd Lollies where Hugh Laurie reviews and consumes various suggestive or obscenely shaped/themed frozen treats, possibly with the assistance of long time friend Stephen Fry.

If the above two series were both made a further spin off could be made of Hugh Laurie's Lewd Lollies on Huge Lorries, where Hugh attempts to drive HGVs of increasing size along improbably difficult routes while also reviewing and consuming suggestive or obscenely shaped/themed frozen treats, with Stephen Fry in the passenger seat as his navigator co-driver (possibly using some sort of navigation technology which he could utterly fail to correctly explain the operation of to the audience).

[G Olson]

Elton John Uptown Johns

It's karaoke night pub crawl! Don't forget to wear you Blaze Pink Camo so you know who is hunting.