You sure you found him the cultural centre?
I only ask because it looks like one of those towers in Oblivion.
Architecture, eh?
Old Man by Neil Young I am accosted in a shop by an aged gentleman with a posh accent, impeccable manners and a dripping nose. “Excuse me, I have a simple question.” Confession: I am in a suburban Apple Store so you may be inclined to think I deserve whatever I get simply for being there. In my defence, let me assure you I …
I don't know why you're complaining about the Apple connector, Dobbs. Apple has changed the connector only 2 times in the 13 years since the release of the iPod (from Firewire to 30-pin, and from 30-pin to Lightning), and they've used the Lightning connector for 2 years already. Likewise, Apple laptops have changed power connectors just 3 times in the past 16 years. I know you're slowing down in your old age, but I think this complaint is something you should keep to yourself.
In the same time, other companies have gone from proprietary mini-barrels to mini-USB to micro-USB to micro-USB 3, and now they're contemplating USB 3.1 type C. And you almost never can use the same power adapter for 2 different PC laptops, even from the same manufacturer.
What annoys me is that the Apple cord designs seem to be inspired by explosive seed pods. Bring your cable around and use it regularly, and before long the shell is splitting apart and the wires are unraveling. I get around that by exploiting the power-efficiency of Safari and the marvelous battery life, to leave my power cable safely at home. And Apple charges way too much for their cables; you should be buying Lightning cables on sale from an online retailer like NewEgg.
I too have been wary of being accosted by old men ever since that time at a wedding where some old sailor went waffling on about albatrosses for what seems like hours.
An octogenarian friend (genuinely an old sailor) was introduced to computers about five years ago.
I helped him out with some of the basics and he picked things up really quickly.
He still considers himself as incapable but seems to have the same skill level as most people as far as computers are concerned.
The old folk asking questions are not necessarily the ones to be wary of. It's the new accountant at work who asks things like, "You know how to use Excel. How do I add up a column of figures easily? Is there a formula you can show me?"
I've got a lot of time for older people. They helped me when I couldn't walk without their help and now they have trouble walking without mine. What goes around comes around (as the Igors say).
The one which I have the hardest time explaining is, "why does the writing have to be so small?"
Sure, it's trivial to increase the font size but the UI elements don't scale well. Or maybe the heavens align and they do scale but now you've got a jumble of nicely scaled fonts and UI elements cramped and overlapping in a window which hasn't changed size.
While I understand how the underlying clusterfuck came to be but explaining why it is and, more importantly, why it hasn't been fixed is just too dizzying.
"The one which I have the hardest time explaining is, "why does the writing have to be so small?"
Sure, it's trivial to increase the font size but the UI elements don't scale well. Or maybe the heavens align and they do scale but now you've got a jumble of nicely scaled fonts and UI elements cramped and overlapping in a window which hasn't changed size.
While I understand how the underlying clusterfuck came to be but explaining why it is and, more importantly, why it hasn't been fixed is just too dizzying."
Ah, you've switched your attention to the new El Reg interface now. That discussion is actually over here (or here)
'The old folk asking questions are not necessarily the ones to be wary of. It's the new accountant at work who asks things like, "You know how to use Excel. How do I add up a column of figures easily? Is there a formula you can show me?"'
That one's easily solved. Tell them that it's a two-step operation:
1 select the column in question
2 press the 'DEL' for 'DELIBERATE' key. Excel will then deliberate a while and give you the answer. You may have to wait up to a half hour.
You then walk away, whistling "The Guns of Brixton".
No, the ones you really have to watch out for are the beancounters who know how to use Excel and absolutely fuck-all else . They'll use Excel as a spreadsheet, as a database, as a reporting server, as a word processor, as a design tool, as every fucking thing you can imagine through the use of ancient and hideous VB Macros and obscure eldritch data connectors.
Then one day, when the crude OS they've Frankenstein-created from their spreadsheet goes tits-up, who do they call? And more to the point, whose fault do they reckon it is?
As the 'local expert', once you've touched a computer, you are then responsible for all its actions or lack of actions from that point on.
Good advice from an ex-neighbour of mine: Never let anyone on the local Neighbourhood Watch or Church Committee, etc. know that you have a computer and a colour laser printer.
Reminds me of many years ago when I fiddled with cars. The mother-in-law's car radiator started leaking. As I was the only one that family who knew which end of a screwdriver to use, I dutifully set about removing, repairing, and re-installing said radiator. Three months later, a call: "What did you do that killed my radio?". Live and learn. I get asked now about what do I know about.....? and I start mumbling is something that passes for an obscure dialect in Mexico.
> What part of World War 2 took place in Spain? Is history teaching in the UK really that bad nowadays?
The spying part. Based on what I've read, about 2/3 of the population of Spain during WWII were spying, trying catch spies, pretending to spy, on their way somewhere else to go spying, on their way home after spying for one side or the other.
"The spying part. Based on what I've read, about 2/3 of the population of Spain during WWII were spying, trying catch spies, pretending to spy, on their way somewhere else to go spying, on their way home after spying for one side or the other"
Even the dead ones washed up on the beaches were suspect or are you telling me that, that was the man who never was? (1.)
Portugal as well, a veritable nest of vipers.
1. Now accepted as being Glyndwr Michael, buried in Huelva which is quite close to me. His grave stone says it is the body of William Martin. "Y Dyn Na Fu Erioed" = "The Man Who Never Was" .
There were lots of spies. And a lot of Spanish 'volunteers' went to the Eastern Front (and to such vacation spots as Leningrad) as the Blue Division; once it became clear to Franco that the Axis couldn't possibly win (late 1943, showing that he was a lot brighter than the Germans) he ordered 'em back, repeating the order in March 1944 for the hard of hearing. Some wouldn't leave, and became the Blue Legion; a few of them were incorporated into SS Divisions Nordland and Wallonien, and fought alongside the French SS volunteers ('Charlemagne') in Berlin in late April and early May 1945. Nordland and Charlemagne held the area around the Reich chancellory on 1 and 2 May, 1945, and fought hard for the express purpose of denying the Soviets a propaganda victory when the Soviets tried to take the position in time for May Day. (1 May, for the non-bolshie among you. those who don't know the significance of the day are invited to look it up.)
"There was this little incident where the Germans practiced bombing a small Basque town named Guernica? Maybe you've heard of it?"
Yep. I also heard that that particular incident occurred during the Spanish Civil War, which ended 1 April 1939, or roughly five months before WWII began (1 Sept 1939 according to most histories; perhaps yours is different.). The bombing of Guernica itself took place 26 April 1937, or better than two years prior to the beginning of the Second World War.
it is true that there was considerable fighting in China starting in about 1937 and which continued to 1945. It is also true that the Italians went into Ethiopia in 1935. Those incidents, and the Spanish Civil War, and assorted other actions, (Red vs White in Russia, 1918-192whatever, Soviet vs Finland, assorted internal actions in Italy, Germany, Russia/Soviet Union, France, Britain, the US...) are not considered to be part of the Second World War, though they may have led to it or merged with it. (Hint: there's a _reason_ why Dug-Out Doug McArthur was sitting in the Philippines feeling sorry for himself in December 1941. And why the only VC every won by a member of the King's African Rifles was won in Ethiopia. And why the Italians in Ethiopia kept fighting until _after_ the rest of Italy gave up, including being the _only_ Italian force in the entire war to actually take and hold allied territory without Germans to hold their hands. See further 'KAR solider wins VC', above.)
Now, if you can produce a good reason for saying that the Second World War in Europe started prior to 26 April 1937 I'm willing to listen. But it's gonna have to be _damn_ good.
So far as can be determined, no actual fighting related to the general conflict in Europe/North Africa/the Med/the near east took place in Spain 1 Sept 1939 to 8 May 1945. Or even to 15 Aug 1945. Again, if you have something which would dispute or at least clarify this, by all means trot it out.
You didn't even point him at 4Chan, 2G1C, LemonParty, or Goats?
How are you supposed to get folks to stop pestering you for advice if you don't fek with their heads for doing it?
Like telling him he has to lick his finger in order to "turn the page" on that ipad, so one of the actual employees runs over screaming when they see some schmuck drooling on the screen?
Or giving the machine a hard reset & telling him that you'll be right back after getting (a chair, a glass of water, your reading glasses, whatever) and then leaving him there to explain to an employee why he's breaking the shiny toys?
Or if you knew you were going into that store, why not don the thin, clear plastic gloves with the greasy fingers, and goop up all the screens in the place? Toss the used gloves in the bin, grab the dongle, and head for the counter. You'll look like any other inquisitive customer, and when you approach the register with an item to purchase, they'll be too happy to remember your having touched everything along the way. This will make itself clear once you leave & the other customers start complaining that everything smells like arse ointment...
"Chaos, Confusion, & Death in my wake. My job is done here." isn't just a business slogan, it's the only way to survive!
...
*Cough*
I'd get my coat, but it seems to be fueling the fire over on aisle seven where that Yoof Chav and his buddies were standing. Now if you'll pardon me, I feel the urge to leave in a rather quickish stride.
*Grins*
In the good old days people who worked in shops wore shirts. Maybe even ties.
Now they dress like everyone else. And woe betide you if you walk into any outlet wearing the same coloured tee-shirt as the staff. You will be swamped.
And the people are bloody rude if you nicely explain you don't work there.
So it's better to tell them to, "**** off" to pre-empt their rudeness.
My company used to buy blue shirts with yellow embroidered logos on for all it's staff.
I lost count of the times I'd been shopping in Ikea after work and was accosted by EVERYONE asking everything from "Where are there more of these lamps?" "Where are the toilets?" "Where is the exit?"
Like everyone who enters Ikea....I can answer none of these questions.
Sometimes it helps to turn your point of view 180°.
The people trying Ubuntu here seem to highlight less inspired UI logic with razor sharp accuracy. If this had been done repeatedly for a year with UI designers actually paying attention, Linux could eventually have a shot as being a desktop, mainly because you'd have a band of by then IT savvy octogenarians you could embarrass the rest with :).
Caveat: in a shop it's slightly different - I'd state that I didn't work in the shop first. Having said that, I had a lovely experience in IKEA once where someone took me for staff and was rude to me. I made this guy so absolutely furious in response that he started asking for the manager to complain about me. Staff had already spotted what was going on and much grinning was had (also by bystanders) when the manager explained to the idiot that I wasn't staff (he never asked, and once he'd made the initial mistake he was mine, all mine.. ).
" If this had been done repeatedly for a year with UI designers actually paying attention..."
Whoah, there buddy! What are the chances of that happening? Be honest, if UI designers were paying attention, they wouldn't even need the testers. They could just sit back, take a look at their work and thing "Bloody hell. What was I thinking. Hmm. I'd better get rid of that before anyone else sees it.".
UI designers
I do get the feeling, after 40 or so years of computer using, that UI designers ( and latterly Microsoft executives) don't actually understand people. UIs are so often logical, but not intuitive. Stuff isn't where you'd want it to be, labeled in ways that you's expect them to be labeled, or accessed the way you'd expect to access it.
You've been to Watford Junction then.
No arrivals board, but there's a tiny monitor that is supposed to show arrivals. They use it for generic messages instead, most of the time. Even though there's another enormous screen showing even more useless messages, nearby. Staff behind the counter sometimes know how long the delayed train will be. If you actually know it's delayed and if you can face waiting in the queue. And the guy on the barrier is really nice, but knows nothing.
Apple Store on the web doesn't offer a one-hour delivery service, nor any discounts for purchasing online. The nearest physical Apple Store, on the other hand, is a 20-minute stroll away from my front door and I don't have to guess at which of the 14 billion adapters to buy based on ambiguous one-sentence descriptions and tiny generic photos of white bits of plastic on white backgrounds.
His working was a bit odd; not in the maths department but rather his type casting. The binary was 52 50, which is ASCII for '42'. A bit the long way, and kind of awkward, but accurate.
Kind of makes sense though, that in this universe The Answer would be a string representation of a number, probably a mis-cast at that.