back to article IRONY ALERT: Former MI6 chief warns of 'mass snooping' - by PAEDOS

The former head of MI6 has warned parents that paedophile predators are capable of using location-based services to find and abuse their kids. In a warning that might sound a bit rich coming from a former chief spook, Sir John Scarlett said he was worried about how easily a youngster's movements could be traced. Young girls …

  1. PCS

    Any person that uses the words "kids" and "paedophiles" in their comments is guilty of blatant scaremongering and attempted distraction from Their Own Evilness (tm)

    1. John Lilburne

      So what evilness of yours are you trying to distract us from?

      1. Trigonoceps occipitalis

        the nation's chased youth

        FTFY

      2. Fungus Bob
        Joke

        "So what evilness of yours are you trying to distract us from?"

        There was this "incident" with a bunny and two dobermans...

  2. Crisp

    I'd like Sir John Scarlett to name one case where that's happened.

    I'm not saying that he's making it up, but fantastic claims like his need some sort of corroborating evidence.

    1. JimmyPage Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Extraordinary claims

      require extraordinary proof ....

      1. Ole Juul

        Re: Extraordinary claims

        He's got other claims to back up as well:

        “But we are a law-based state operating very tightly within a legal framework”

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Extraordinary claims

          Quote: "But we are a law-based state operating very tightly within a legal framework”

          That one definitely requires some serious extraordinary proof. Especially from the only other state in Europe besides Belarus which finds human rights so inconvenient that it wants to abolish any oversight on them.

          1. Tom 64

            Re: Extraordinary claims

            “But we are a law-based state operating very tightly within a legal framework”

            Do they really thing we were all born yesterday? I seem to remember uk.gov rushing through a law before the recess of parliament because what the snoops were doing was deemed to be illegal by the EC court of Justice.

            I wonder if this has anything at all to do with the recent support the UKIP has been getting.

        2. Mark 85

          Re: Extraordinary claims

          Oh.. ok.. just pass another law and everything will be alright then.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Extraordinary claims

        "With great power, comes great responsibility" CO, Spiderman/Tony Blair

        1. VinceH

          Re: Extraordinary claims

          "CO, Spiderman/Tony Blair"

          Wow! And all this time I'd been thinking Spiderman's true identity was Peter Parker. It must have been a cunning bluff, obviously.

          1. Colin Brett
            Flame

            Re: Extraordinary claims

            "Wow! And all this time I'd been thinking Spiderman's true identity was Peter Parker. It must have been a cunning bluff, obviously."

            So, does that mean Cherie Blair was Mary-Jane Watson and/or Gwen Stacy.

            Fire icon because there go my boyhood dreams up in smoke.

            Colin

            1. Sir Runcible Spoon
              Joke

              Re: Extraordinary claims

              "So, does that mean Cherie Blair was Mary-Jane Watson"

              More like Mary-Jane Rotten-Crotch.

      3. tom dial Silver badge

        Re: Extraordinary claims ... require extraordinary proof.

        The same statement applies to claims that GCHQ/NSA etc. data collection, or the widely used street camera surveillance, has led to political suppression.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'd like Sir John Scarlett to name one case where that's happened.

      There are many examples of MI6 staff using their snooping powers to spy on young children, unfortunately they are classified so details can't be released to the public.

      This is a request for more snooping powers so that they can spy on the children that a currently out of their reach.

  3. SolidSquid

    You know, spending a lot of money to put together a fairly innocuous app which is good enough to end up popular purely so that you can use it to track people's location isn't exactly the most straight forward (or cheap) way of following someone. I wonder where the former head of MI6 got the idea

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Unlikely scenario: John Q Nonce thinks "She's hot! I'm going to write me a Facebook to find out where she is!"

      More common scenario: Robert Policeman thinks "She's hot! I'm going to look up her vehicle registration and personal records!"

      (but it's Ok, because we're very good at weeding out bad apples and never mislead the public)

  4. TheProf
    Devil

    But

    What he says could right, if a little 'alarmist'. Just because he has a 'dubious' reputation doesn't mean his message is false.

    1. NumptyScrub

      Re: But

      Paedos can already use statutory powers from RIPA to covertly surveil potential targets without their knowledge. Or are you under the impression that public service never employs paedos?

      I could be right, even if my message is a little alarmist... ;)

      1. frank ly

        Re: But

        He's back on the WMD thing again, (Weapons of Minor Detection). The paedos can deploy them within 15 minutes.

  5. Buzzword

    Please specify the nature of your menace

    What exactly is the danger here? A paedophile somehow gets access to a kid's location data, identifies times & places where he/she is likely to be alone, and then pounces?

    Kids are most often found walking alone to or from school, around 8am and 4pm. There, no hacking needed.

    1. John Lilburne

      Re: Please specify the nature of your menace

      If you know the places someone frequents, the things they do, and the things they like, you can groom them better.

  6. Lionel Baden
    Unhappy

    story time kids

    WOLF WOLF THERE IS A WOLF

    1. P. Lee

      Re: story time kids

      ... and one day, there was a wolf, and he cried out, but nobody came to help. "It's just MI5/6 playing silly games." they said.

      And the wolf (who's name was "Pleasedontignoreme") gobbled him all up, and that was then end of him.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Unrelated question

    How's the inquiry into child sex offences in government coming along?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Unrelated question

      The simple answer is that the hoi polloi are being distracted by pursuing people like DLT while the purveyors of children in care, from Elm House for instance, are being carefully forgotten as much as possible.

      If I didn't know better I'd think that some sort of conspiracy was in action.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Unrelated question@Brian Morrison

        "If I didn't know better I'd think that some sort of conspiracy was in action."

        Pah! You're the sort of person who thinks there's a nefarious reason why the Chilcott Enquiry hasn't been published, when any right-thinking supporter of parliamentary democracy can see that the hold up is merely that the copier is out of paper.

        But, the strategy of denial and cover up evidently works, so next up we'll have a prime minister waving a dossier that says that IS are a clear and present danger to the UK, and we must send our ground forces to defeat them. This is inevitable as the RAF's two operational Tornados have thus far only managed to score a couple of pick up trucks (at a cost of £1.5m for each Brimstone missile used). If it's a war of attrition with IS, we'll be bankrupt before they are, but the post-Syria investigation will likewise be subject to a "dog ate my homework" excuse.

    2. John Lilburne

      Re: Unrelated question

      I think you'll find that Gubmint perverts wear Gannex raincoats not some lowbrow Macintosh affair. Also the sweets they have on offer are better than Quality Street and not bought from some Pick-n-Mix stall.

  8. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: jobs for pervs

      It was once said that the security services didn't care what a person's predilections were - as long as they knew about them. Their interest presumably was any potential blackmail by enemy agents.

      It is interesting that a blackmailer's only weapon is the disapproving attitudes of the victim's society.

  9. A Twig

    so, tracking "right down to more or less precisely where you are”.

    Eh?

    I've read that sentence and translated it in 3 different ways

    1) I don't really have any figures but TRACKING!

    2) The precision of the tracking is variable

    3) The long and lat figures the tracker can get are to lots of decimal places, but the person might not actually be there. So it's precise but wrong.

    Whichever of the above - Scarlett is still an arsehole...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      I agree.

      "more or less precisely"

      It's either precise or not, you can't have both.

      1. R Callan

        Also, it is possible to be precise but not accurate.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There is now a league of questionable gentlemen

    .. and this one has just joined it too.

    If I parse that statement, I think he's saying that privacy is really only for smart people. He's off to a good start there. I bet Google and FB can't wait for him to take the reigns.

  11. Raumkraut

    The govt is mother, the govt is father, trust the govt

    > But we are a law-based state operating very tightly within a legal framework and a cultural environment and that is where your protection must lie.

    So our protection must lie in the following (non-exhaustive) list of groups all being entirely trustworthy and reliable (eg. not leaving documents on trains):

    * This government, and every future government.

    * Every judge who will ever authorise warrants.

    * Every person who currently, or at any future time, works for the government.

    * Every employee of the police service, present and future.

    * Every security service agent, present and future.

    Yeah, nah. I'd rather trust the mathematics.

  12. Rikkeh

    Obligatory Brass Eye paedo moral panic quote thread

    "Security footage from Sheffield shows a paedophile disguised as a school. Have you seen him. Do you know him? Call us."

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Re: Obligatory Brass Eye paedo moral panic quote thread

      I was thinking more of the bit where paedos could reach out of the computer screen and fiddle with the kids.

      On a related note, Dr Fox.

    2. AbelSoul

      Re: Obligatory Brass Eye paedo moral panic quote thread

      Nonce-sense.

  13. Anomalous Cowshed

    Young girls are vulnerable to tracking...

    As a former boy, I for one welcome this announcement since it means that my fellow boys and myself are immune from young-girl-tracking overlordspaedophiles.

  14. ForthIsNotDead

    WTF has it got to do with MI6?

    Isn't MI6 supposed to be concerned with protecting its citizens from threats that are external to the UK, like ISIS and stuff?

    And America?

    If some perv has logged onto your IP camera and is watching your kids sleep, it's hardly a job for MI6 is it? Disgusting as it is. It's a job for the police.

    WOLF. THERE'S A WOLF!

    1. Mark 85

      Re: WTF has it got to do with MI6?

      Isn't MI6 supposed to be concerned with protecting its citizens from threats that are external to the UK, like ISIS and stuff?

      And America?

      You obviously didn't get the memo.... with certain exceptions that only Sir Scarlett has on a list , everyone, everywhere, except those living in the UK are paedos.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: WTF has it got to do with MI6?

        "Sir Scarlett "????

        Thank god he's not a captain!

  15. Perpetual Cyclist

    Let this be a warning to you

    I used an email with an open distribution list to track down a girl I liked the look of.

    We have been married for 12 years now....

    1. AbelSoul
      Trollface

      Re: Let this be a warning to you

      You're not Papa Lazarou, are you?

      1. phil dude
        Coat

        Re: Let this be a warning to you

        Dave....? Daaaavvee?

        P.

    2. HelpfulJohn

      Re: Let this be a warning to you

      I once invited a girl I liked the look of out for a drink. Exactly a year later, we got married. 31 years after that she still couldn't get rid of me.

      Of course, she was a working girl, not a schoolgirl ... Uhn, sorry, a working *Lady*. No, that still sounds iffy ...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    law-based state operating very tightly within a legal framework

    it's wonderful to be the law-maker

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Goodwins law needs revision

    Subjects you are not meant to question.

    Peado has become one of them, if you ask any question beyond the use of the word you obviously are one right?

    You must not think! you must pick up a stick and get ready to beat the next person we point at and invoke the word.

    KJP (Knee Jerk Phrases).

    Keep thinking, keep wondering who has invoked a KJP "you must not think" phrase.

    I think the general sexualisation of society with special mention for advertising is a far greater threat to our children than the fiddlers.

    There are indeed many modern risks to a childs well being, we just don't get to hear much about those that might damage business income.

    “Peados” I assume are not (officially) big party funders so that is a safe one to use.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon

      Re: Goodwins law needs revision

      Considering the wide-ranging definitions of what constitutes KP I'm amazed that the Americans allow those 'Put your 4 year old child on stage in a skimpy outfit doing a crotch-thrusting pole-dance routine to win one of 100 crowns' type shows.

      And showing them on TV is KP publication isn't it?

  18. DrXym

    I think it's a fair point to some extent

    It's easy to see how kids (and adults) might be exposing themselves to risk without even realising it - tweeting what they're doing, or using apps which divulge their location like Foursquare or uploading photos with geotag data

    For example search for "4sq.com" on twitter.com right now and you can find a wonderful selection of ladies and gentlemen to stalk. Or if you prefer, just rob their houses while they're out.

    1. Nelbert Noggins

      maybe there needs to be an app for that

      Time to register homeornot to help people decide the best time to visit their marks... I mean friends

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: maybe there needs to be an app for that

        Just checked - http://pleaserobme.com is still around, too!

    2. Truffle

      Re: I think it's a fair point to some extent

      Very true.

      My girlfriend isnt stupid. She can speak 3 languages and has a Masters degree in International Communication. But i still had to stop her from posting up every detail of our recently booked holiday onto Facebook.

      She hadn't considered that she was telling people exactly when my house would be empty and for how long for!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I think it's a fair point to some extent

        I understand that it's a smart precaution to take...

        But if you're afraid that someone on your list of friends on facebook will rob your house while you're away, then maybe your friend list needs some revising.

        Unless she was making public posts about it, which is a whole other ball game that I can't even begin to relate to.

  19. Chrissy

    "

    Paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that's a scientific fact: there's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.

    "

    FFS!!

  20. JaitcH
    FAIL

    “But we are a law-based state operating very tightly within a legal framework and a ...

    cultural environment and that is where your protection must lie.”

    Another version of Trust Us.

    Along with these law-based restrictions is the total absence of morals by GCHQ such as copying Yahoo selfies, etc.

    The UK has, effectively, no independent oversight, either - just retired stiffs like Rifkind who approved most applications he was asked for.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cobblers

    What first-rate cattle excrement! Cannot believe the sheer gall and hypocrisy of the guy. Perhaps a FOA request to get some measure of just how often this actually occurs would be in order.

  22. Mark 85

    Seriously interesting comments both the Lord and the commentards

    It just strikes me that the esteemed Lord's comments might be a smoke screen. I've observed over the years that when a "leader" speaks one needs to look or listen deeper. Too many anti-gay legislators were themselves gay, a certain Germanic leader was of Jewish descent... a certain US FBI director and his gay friends and dress-up... certain leaders of the UK and US and their personal relationships that brought them down. OTOH, certain leaders have spoke about things like child abuse only because they were victims themselves at a young age.

    So... what's the esteemed Lord hiding since his positions haven't been involved in child abuse? I'm not slinging muck, I'm curious what his motivation is.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Joke

      Re: Seriously interesting comments both the Lord and the commentards

      The insinuation and subsequent trial by media is usually enough.

      Get the pitch-forks lads, tonight we're gonna have us a barb e queueueueueueu

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obviously pedophilia is only acceptable if utilized to blackmail diplomats and businessmen whom you wish to recruit as assets for her majesty. Obviously.

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