back to article BONEHEAD FANBOIS encamp outside Apple Stores

Fanbois around the world have begun queueing outside Apple stores ahead of this evening's product announcement - even though any new iStuff is unlikely to be released for weeks. The two men at the front of the queue outside the glass cube of Apple's Fifth Avenue store in New York City have an excuse for camping out: they are …

  1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    not a Delivery?

    Well Mr Hammil, would you care to try accesing the Apple On-Line Store?

    It is down for update. They normally only do that (not that I will be buying anything) when they are about to start selling the new tarted up bits of 'shiny-shiny' right away.

    1. Tom 7

      Re: not a Delivery?

      It must be a really shit IT firm that has to take down its online store to add products. I wouldn't buy a wheelbarrow from an IT company that had to do that.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: not a Delivery?

        IT companies don't sell wheelbarrows.

        Your iQueue iTicket, sir.

        1. Tom 7

          Re: not a Delivery?

          Dont sell wheelbarrows? How I I going to get wheeled into the shop then?

          1. Naughtyhorse

            Re: not a Delivery?

            I think you are looking for this years iBarrow.

            soon to be available in white.

            what a bunch of wankers

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: not a Delivery?

              The iBarrow is simply there to carry away the flood of tears the sane, non fanbois have cried out of their ducts with laughter at the sad, sad, iBastards...

      2. JDX Gold badge

        Re: not a Delivery?

        They don't have to, they choose to. Since they generally stop selling the previous model rather than adding the new ones along-side, it makes some sense anyway.

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: not a Delivery?

          Every night their refurbished models disappear from their online store for an hour or two before returning. And we're not talking 4am local time or something, we're talking 11pm-ish.

          If Amazon did that, they'd be shit. But as it's Apple it's all cool.

          Back to the article, maybe they're queuing up outside because Apple's online store is so crap they can't just buy whatever iShiny it is that they must have on release day.

          1. ThomH

            Re: not a Delivery?

            Why the dislike for JDX's comment? He's right: Apple doesn't have to take its store offline any more than it has to have a big press announcement, it's just another cynical way to eke out free publicity. Which we're all enabling with this conversation.

            1. Dan 55 Silver badge

              Re: not a Delivery?

              @ThomH:

              But they do have to take it offline to update the inventory, that's why the refurbished store disappears every 24h.

              1. ElReg!comments!Pierre

                Re: not a Delivery?

                "they do have to take it offline to update the inventory, that's why the refurbished store disappears every 24h."

                Excuse me? Even brick-and-mortar shops (where inventory is _extremely_ more complicated to follow) usually only close for a day once a year for that. Online stores are basically just inventory management tools; why would they need to be taken offline to update inventory? None does, bar the Apple one.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: not a Delivery?

              That's just Jasper downvoting anyone who says anything nice about Apple.

              1. DiViDeD

                Re: not a Delivery?

                Someone said something nice about Apple?

                In the Reg?

                Somebody call Guinness!

          2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: not a Delivery?

            Magic fairy dust needs renewing every night - I thought everyone knew that

          3. jonmorris

            Re: not a Delivery?

            Experience has shown that a large number of people in the queue are buying to immediately sell for a profit, and we now see that many are paid to be in the queue - and managed by people who are ready to get them out of the country and sold in markets where the iPhone/iPad is yet to go on sale.

            It will be the same in Regent Street and Covent Garden etc this year, and for the last few releases as least you can walk further along Oxford Street and into a Curry's to buy one without any queues or fuss (well, bar being asked about the extended warranty). I am talking more about the iPad, but assume there will be stock of the iPhone in other places without the need to queue.

            But if you do queue up, when the doors open you're treated like a God. Loads of people bowing down to you, clapping and making you feel so special as you hand over your credit card, get given a box and quickly booted out the exit.

            Stupid as the whole thing is, I'll never forget when Nokia had its store over the road and launched a phone on the same day and there was not only no queue, but the shop didn't even open on time. Can't even remember what phone it was, but I vaguely recall it being the N97.

        2. VinceH

          Re: not a Delivery?

          "They don't have to, they choose to. Since they generally stop selling the previous model rather than adding the new ones along-side, it makes some sense anyway."

          With apologies to Tom 7 for largely reusing his original comment:

          It must be a really shit IT firm that has to take down its online store to remove products. I wouldn't buy a wheelbarrow from an IT company that had to do that.

      3. Velv
        Gimp

        Re: not a Delivery?

        "It must be a really shit IT firm that has to take down its online store to add products. I wouldn't buy a wheelbarrow from an IT company that had to do that."

        Absolutely true.

        "It must be a really good marketing company that takes down its online store to add products. I would buy lots of shiny shiny from an marketing company that had to do that." said the Fanbois

        (or maybe you were right first time, and Apple really are that shit at IT)

      4. Tom 35

        Re: not a Delivery?

        I'm sure they don't have to take down the site, it's all part of the fake manufactured shortage, gota have it on the first day, line up now dog and pony show they do every year.

        Just had a look out the window here, no lineup on the street. Has not been a lineup here for the last few apple hype days I think people just order online.

      5. alwarming
        Joke

        Re: not a Delivery?

        That's what Saeed Ajmal said yesterday.

    2. Annihilator
      Stop

      Re: not a Delivery?

      "They normally only do that (not that I will be buying anything) when they are about to start selling the new tarted up bits of 'shiny-shiny' right away."

      Actually, they don't. They add the new products so you can drool over the shiny. The most they have available after is the pre-order page.

      It's been a while since Apple finished their announcements with "and it's available now". The 5S was announced on 10th Sept last year and went on sale on the 20th.

    3. JeffyPoooh
      Pint

      Re: not a Delivery?

      In the UK, you simply pause on the sidewalk for a few seconds, and a polite queue will naturally form behind you.

    4. d3vy

      Re: not a Delivery?

      Not entirely accurate, the black dustbin was on their site from announcement but couldn't be purchased for about 6 months if I recall.

      I doubt they'd ship to the stores and risk some pfy in a blue rehire stealing their thunder by posting the stock on facetwitagram ahead of the announcement...

  2. JDX Gold badge

    "This couple is sponsored by VideoMedicine, which allows doctors to Skype their patients."

    I thought Skype allowed doctors to Skype their patients.

    1. Tiny Iota
      Coat

      Re: "This couple is sponsored by VideoMedicine, which allows doctors to Skype their patients."

      Skype, egg, Skype, Skype, bacon and Skype

      1. Mtech25

        Re: "This couple is sponsored by VideoMedicine, which allows doctors to Skype their patients."

        Skype Skype Skype lovely Skype wonderful Skype.

        Bloody Vikings

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: "This couple is sponsored by VideoMedicine, which allows doctors to Skype their patients."

          Skype, egg, Skype, Skype, bacon and Skype

          I didn't know Skype was a major factor in getting your arteries clogged?

      2. Jes.e

        Re: "This couple is sponsored by VideoMedicine, which allows doctors to Skype their patients."

        "bacon and Skype"

        I think you misspelled "spam" but otherwise excellent post..

  3. Truth4u

    I don't get why it's important to be first

    It's not a youtube comment, it's a computer.

    That means its obsolete before you buy it, even if you are first. So I kinda don't get the point?

    1. VinceH

      Re: I don't get why it's important to be first

      I believe this is about the time I trot out this old post:

      Calm down, dear, it's just a computer.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I don't get why it's important to be first (@VinceH)

        Don't let the Commodore peeps hear you calling the iPad a computer; it ruins their claim that the Commodore 64 is the highest selling single computer model.

        1. Truth4u

          Re: I don't get why it's important to be first (@VinceH)

          it's like having the best selling album.

          Doesn't mean much.

          1. ThomH

            Re: I don't get why it's important to be first (@Truth4u)

            Dark Side of the Moon spending 14 years in the US top 200 — in the era before downloads — is pretty impressive though, right?

  4. gerryg

    The next Apple product I own

    Will be my first, however, I do have a sneaking regard for a company that has its client group begging to buy an as yet unidentified product.

    Reminds me of the flag seller sketch

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The next Apple product I own

      I'll never understand why some people dislike Apple as much as others like them, you're all as bad as each other.I generally buy whatever is most suitable at the time.

      1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: The next Apple product I own

        Send this person to the Loony bin. They are showing far too much common sense for this site.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The next Apple product I own

          Steve, if you mean me, don't worry, I'll redeem myself later.

          1. ItsNotMe
            Happy

            Re: The next Apple product I own

            Yes Chris...he is referring to you, and your redemption had better be quick.

            Intelligent, level-headed, commenting will not be tolerated around here mister.

  5. Someone Else Silver badge
    Coat

    "BONEHEAD FANBOIS"

    Brought to you by the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

  6. Gordan

    Marketing Hype vs. Desirability

    So what you are saying is that the only people who want iProducts enough to queue for them are actually paid by PR and marketing companies to do so?

    I've always suspected as much but now it seems official. Nobody could genuinely be such an iDiot.

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: Marketing Hype vs. Desirability

      "Nobody could genuinely be such an iDiot."

      You'll get far fewer shocks in life by never underestimating the depths of stupidity.

      (Hint: it's bottomless.)

    2. Andy Enderby 1

      Re: Marketing Hype vs. Desirability

      iDolt ?

  7. RyokuMas
    Devil

    Jog on, pal!

    People camping outside the Apple store on Regent Street, eh? And getting sponsored for being first in line for the new iThing?

    I'm considering the possibilities of bringing laws normally used against travellers to bear here - serve up a court order stating that the recipient must move on withing x days/hours. Add appropriate timing so that the deadline in within a day of the new iThing launch and watch the wailing and gnashing of teeth...

    1. Amorous Cowherder
      Facepalm

      Re: Jog on, pal!

      You'd really waste that much time and effort on these people? Let evolution take it's course when a load of pissed up revellers walk past this coming Friday night!

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. ElReg!comments!Pierre

        Re: Jog on, pal!

        "Let evolution take it's course when a load of pissed up revellers walk past this coming Friday night!"

        The pissed-ups and the pissed-ons...

        These tents better not be leaky!

  8. Pete 2 Silver badge

    "I'm standing outside ... "

    > queueing outside Apple stores ahead of this evening's product announcement

    It's no sillier than TV crews setting up shop OUTSIDE a building where some people INSIDE are talking - and then having the presenter read a statement prepared by a P.R. department that's in a completely different place.

    Actually - yeah! it's all pretty dumb.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "I'm standing outside ... "

      Or. more topical, have they started to claim their places for the next royal birth?

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: "I'm standing outside ... "

      in a completely different place

      Not to mention with a completely different content than what has actually been discussed, as will transpire later when the knives comes out.

  9. Daniel Hall
    Stop

    This is....

    SAD!

    SAD STRANGE PEOPLE.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good for them say I

    If they've nothing else to do then why not.Much better than sitting at home watching big brother or some other puerile show that passes for entertainment these days and they get paid for it. I could see myself doing it if only to piss of the haters.

    Any pics of Bonnie? She might need company, er, I mean protection.

    1. Valeyard

      Re: Good for them say I

      a female? GOOD LORD MY PENIS WOULD FIT IN THAT!

      you're not on youtube now, settle down

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Good for them say I @Valeyard

        So you've got a small dick as well as no sense of humour. I hope you're not British because according to John Cleese you've lost out on two points.

    2. Geoffrey W

      Re: Good for them say I

      You were right; You HAVE redeemed yourself later.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Good for them say I

        Maybe so Geoffrey, but you know the sad part is that people overlook the intended point and read more into an off hand comment than what is there.

        On the other hand it could just be possible that some consider any contact between a male and female must be of a sexual nature (usually those between the ages of 12 and 13, 14 if they are really slow developers) and who would rather put their lard arses on the sofa and endure Jeremy Kyle and his ilk than camp outside contemplating their navel, a labour I have always found beneficial and much more gratifying than the former activity.

        1. Valeyard

          Re: Good for them say I

          haha such a gobshite

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Good for them say I

            Confirmed, 14 years old.

        2. Geoffrey W

          Re: Good for them say I

          And the really sad part...that there were probably umpteen others, who said nothing, but, who wondered if there were pictures of this "jovial young woman." Men! Can't live with em, can't murder em...

  11. fridaynightsmoke
    FAIL

    The first in the queue is sponsored by

    "The first in the queue is sponsored by Blah, an app that allows you to blah blah"

    I WONDER WHY THIS QUEUE FAD PERSISTS

  12. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Hang on,

    People who have been paid to take a queue take pay from other people to leave it ?

    Isn't that the very definition of mercenary ?

    In any case, it is not the definition of honorable.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Hang on,

      >People who have been paid to take a queue take pay from other people to leave it ?

      >Isn't that the very definition of mercenary ?

      Strangely enough it is the very definition of GDP - doing this presumably helps the economy

      1. Cipher
        Facepalm

        Re: Hang on,

        It adds nothing to GDP, it is merely a transfer of money, not a production of anything...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What is sad about this?

    I used to queue up outside BT payphone kiosks being built, to be the first to use them.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: What is sad about this?

      Perhaps that is the new product. The iKiosk comes with a 42" screen, 7.1 speaker surround, indefinite battery life with permanent charging and gigabit networking.

      Admittedly it is a little less portable than previous products - but it does have rounded corners

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What is sad about this?

      >to be the first to use them.

      Couldn't you have gone behind a bush?

      Is this like marking your territory?

      There's more, but my day is done so I'm off home.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The funny thing

    Is while so many here are down on people lining up buy the next iPhone can you name one company that wouldn't kill to have 1) this loyal customer base 2) free marketing

    And yes, every other phone maker in the world is on that list, including Microsoft

    So Apple will be laughing last as they bank their next 100 Billion Dollars

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: The funny thing

      I think Bayer saw something like this response to their Heroin(tm) product

    2. Geoffrey W

      Re: The funny thing

      Well, after looking at the accompanying video I see there appears to be a total of two tents queuing, the occupants of both of which were all paid to be there. There isn't much loyalty on display there, other than loyalty to the payer, and that is a bit tainted since the one at the front paid the other to give up their initial first place.

  15. stu 4

    App store bring down

    Can't be the tech. I dunno if they still use WebObjects though, probably not.

    They used to in the early days - and web objects was awesome imho.

    I'm biased as I cut my teeth on nextstep, openstep, EOF, and then web objects.

    It shat all over J2EE well into the 2000s but just didn't have the market presence and wasn't core, so got more or less binned by apple (the WOF bit I mean... obviously openstep became OSX).

    stu

  16. JaitcH
    Unhappy

    BONEHEAD FANBOIS encamp outside Apple Stores

    There's another type of iPhan?

  17. Timo

    might be brilliant paid/viral advertising

    Pay a few people to sit in line and look interested. Reporters go talk to them, get the names of their companies, and whammo the free advertising kicks in.

    That these companies would be seen in the company as wholly, blindindly, astoundingly, awesome as Apple lends them some points in credibility and the overall "halo". Yes I'm being sarcastic, but maybe only halfway.

    After all, El Reg has just named the companies at work here, so there's one round of free adverts. Surprised the tents are not slathered with banners.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Two words

    Damn stoooopid!

  19. IGnatius T Foobar
    Trollface

    Apple?

    Apple?

    They're still around?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Being paid to...

    .... sit on your arse and do nothing for weeks on end.

    Sounds like a government job to me!!!!!!

    Because taking the pi$$ out of fanbois is always so much fun.

  21. SpiderPig

    Honestly, it's only a phone.....

    I find all the hype around not only Apples "new" phones as well as those from Samsung such a load of tripe it beggars belief.

    IT IS JUST A PHONE.....not some lifesaving event, but I guess those who have very little excitment in their lives are to be expected to hang around a store for days just so they can say they got the first one....big whoop

  22. Dr Scrum Master
    Terminator

    Beware the Giant Rabbi

    working for TaskRabbot, which allows people to outsource work to people who live nearby.

    I think you'll find that TaskRabbot is the one which allows people to outsource work to robots that live nearby,

  23. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    On the upside....

    If they're out queuing in public they're less likely to be breeding, which should ensure future jobs for immigrant baristas escaping the Euro zone. Mind you, if Mr Salmond gets his way, pretty soon all London's baristas will be Scottish.

  24. Tim Roberts 1

    .....

    Fucking Nora .....

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pony up..

    If you go camping at a camp-site you are expected to pay fee's. So I hope the councils in the area are charging them campers rent, or moving them on. If not charge the business fee's for using the public space as an extension to their shop.

  26. Lamont Cranston

    How do you pitch a tent on a pavement, anyway?

    Maybe a stiff breeze will sort this problem out?

  27. Oninoshiko

    I'd do it.

    If someone want's to sponsor me to stand infront of an apple store for a week, I will happily do so. You do have to provide you own shirt with your logo on it though.

  28. Dana W

    I will never understand these fools, and my house is full of Apple stuff. I like the iPhone, I really do, but I'll get my next iPhone by registered mail, next year when my contract for this one runs out. Just like the last one.

    Android or Apple, its a PHONE. Some people are just stupid. If you have time to wait in front of a store for days or weeks, you have worse issues than the need for a new phone.

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