Vulture South party: the winners and grinners from our limerick comp

A couple of weeks ago Vulture South offered tickets to our exclusive Sydney party to readers who could hack out a clever limerick. Here are the best, prize-winning entries. To the authors: your invitation is in the mail. To those who didn't enter, we're doing a second chance draw that's explained after the winning rhymes. On …

[Gray Ham]

How about the geographical location of the Government's core principles?

Oh, wait, no we need that ... as you were ...

[Mark Solaris]

Cell tracking of my phone would be the worst, it'd show my propensity to show up to work 90 minutes late, spend decaminutes in the disabled loo playing games on my tablet and also excessively frequenting the coffee shop with the phwooooaaaarr blonde behind the counter. Also considering my green credentials, the amount of time I spend driving my stinking diesel 4WD dinosaur around Sydney is kind of embarrassing :) Definitely blackmail material!

[dan1980]

Where's this coffee shop then, eh?

[Mark Solaris]

I'd show you the GPS tracking data, overlayed on a map, but co-incidentally it seems to have drawn a massive todger as I walked the streets, and we know that's not very nice now is it. Considering the cafe is called Liquid Heaven you can guess where on the route it's located.

[Mort]

Metaception

Metadata of people making FOI requests for what metadata has been collected about people making FOI requests for metadata requests

[Sanctimonious Prick]

In Vent We Trust

In the middle of the night

I hopped on your site

Looking to vent my spleen

Suddenly a comp. appeared on screen

Now I've entered

But never vented

[dan1980]

While I am terribly clever, side-splittingly funny and admirably modest, and could thus secure an invitation at a stroke, I simply cannot risk finding out that my fellow commentards are good, decent people whose company I might enjoy.

No, that wouldn't do at all; how then would I dismiss their arguments as vacuous and ill-informed and disagree with them out of spite or question their ideas, values and character as base and unworthy?

Better that I keep my un-founded prejudices intact. After all, it is that much harder to fight if you see your opponents as human beings with feelings and hopes and dreams and their own problems in life and I have no wish for my vitriol to be tempered with reminders that we are all just trying to make our way in this imperfect world as best we can.

Also, I suspect that what little seriousness my arguments are taken with now would evaporate entirely once my propensity for chemically-aided honesty kicks in. That and I need a haircut.

But a good night to all - hopefully Richard can make the trek out.

[vincer]

* a mash-up of trips to take-aways in Central superimposed on a graph of my increasing BMI

* web-browsing history and duration of site visits ... during office hours

* phone records showing the miserable infrequency of calls to my ageing parents back in the UK

* number of times I make Google "define: X"-type queries for work stuff I should really know

[TsVk!]

Something I notice about boffins,

in fact this happens quite often.

When asked for creative,

they resort to expletives,

Which I think is f#%*ing awesome.