Maybe it's because I'm *not* a Londoner...
"Here in London, it's considered a little parochial to tie yourself to just one godforsaken corner of the earth. But in Scotland, it's a badge of pride."
I can't figure out if this is cleverly subtle but intentional self-deprecation, ironically acknowledging London's up-its-own-arse self-obsessed insularity (in which case, well done). Or whether it's genuine and the author genuinely lacks any awareness of the irony in his/her/its statement.
Sadly, I suspect the latter is more probable.
If so, I hope you choke on your "Skanky Burger" at whatever shitty, overpriced faux-austerity establishment is in favour with navel-gazing tw**s this week (or are gourmet burger joints so last month?), thus missing your appointment at the old-school wet-shave barber (Estb. 1967) you didn't give a toss about until it was featured in Time Out.
Thinking about this, if some evil genius was to come up with a plan to rid the planet of self-obsessed Londoners while leaving everyone else intact, it would *have* to involve Oyster Cards. F****** Oyster cards. Seriously... no-one outside the M25 gives a f*** about them or your problems with the arse-activated readers for the marmalade-based magnetic stripe on the zone 47 prepay cards or that their plutonium content has caused you to grow a third nipple. It's not my problem, I couldn't give a toss.
Ditto Boris Johnson.
Seriously, a "Soylent Green" Oyster card made from Boris Johnson would be *the* ultimate symbol of Navel-Gazing London in existence.
Er, okay, I think I'm finished now.
(*) Seriously, I did a quick Google out of curiosity for "London burgers". As if to confirm my opinion, the first bloody result was a Time Out entry on a joint called "Advisory." which was "named after the Asian Women's Advisory Centre formerly on this site". How f****** hipster can you get?