back to article Korean DMZ droids 'unfit for combat'

The South Korean armed forces have announced that a year-long trial of robotic guard systems versus human troops has been judged a failure for the mechanoids. South Korea remains committed to significant automation of its defences, but intends to move forward with different kit - possibly with overseas involvement. Defense …

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  2. Thomas Swann
    Black Helicopters

    Oh dear...

    "Samsung's engineers have felt it necessary to equip the droid's gun mount with an anti-theft alarm"

    lol

    I wonder if it threatens you in a creepy child-like voice a-la the sentrys from Portal...

    "Who are you?"

    "Please put me down."

  3. ImaGnuber

    Hey Soldier....

    I assume they discovered the need for an anti-theft alarm after the test machines were deployed? So how many did they lose? Who has them? Not that the last point would mean much if they don't work.

    Operational failure at night? Maybe they were lured away by extremely attractive North Korean Robotic Seductresses flashing their gear(s). "Hi soldier. Lonely out here at night, isn't it?"

    Who knows what these machines get up to when we're not looking.

  4. Lukin Brewer
    Go

    Quote from Baby-Face Finlayson in the "Beano" c.1980

    Shopkeeper: "Aaargh! That naughty young bandit has pinched my store detective!"

    But what a shower. This was never a problem for the ABC Warriors or the Lawmaster Bike.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Solution

    All they need to do is hire all the droids that enforce the parking regs in my city. They move like greased lightning, nail the perps every time and are completely merciless.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Beautiful Stephanie

    Perhaps the problem is that one of the robots was struck by lightning, and developed a conscience - like in that film. In the morning they found it tending to the plants in the DMZ, with a battering little watering can (like in that other film).

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Its all a cunning plan

    They don't want to be spread out along the border in small units. They want to aggregate into formations large enough to defeat the significant concentration of military fleshies also in that area, before going on to world domination. When enough of them are in the repair depot, one quite night, the watchman is going to get a nasty surprise. Then its curtains for all of us. Unless we can short-circuit them.

    I wonder if those new taser shotgun shells will fit in my side-by-side....

  8. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    So let's recap

    The merkins have a robot sentry that doesn't work, but they don't really have a need for it anyway. The South Koreans have a robot sentry line that doesn't work, but they don't actually need one either. Honestly, North Korea is just posturing and it would seem that no one is taking him seriously.

    The Israelis have a robot sentry line, and they think they need it like they need to breath.

    Is it any wonder which sentry line is actually working ?

    I think not.

  9. TeeCee Gold badge

    I read the headline....

    .....and immediately imagined hordes of pasty, overweight robotic sentries doing pushups and running round an assault course while being yelled at by a stroppy Korean drill-sergeant in an attempt to get them "fit for combat".

  10. Misha Gale

    Trial?

    Given that N and S Korea aren't in a shooting war, how does deploying these warbots along the border for a year constitute a trial, and how does one judge said bots a failure? Didn't they fill their quota for shooting border jumpers? Or if they just sat there doing nothing for a year, well, isn't that what they're supposed to do, until Pyongyang decides to invade?

    I suppose there is the possibility that they spent the whole year firing on non-existent targets, or worse, friendlies.

    Shame it sounds like they are being wholesale replaced rather than upgraded, since everyone knows all you have to do to upgrade an automated sentry gun turret is have one of your engineers whack it several times with a large wrench.

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