Today in IT news: iPad Fleshlight a reality

From frightening-looking prototype to reality: Fleshlight has at last, er, released its iPad faux-rifice. According to its blurb, the coyly named LaunchPAD offers a "whole new perspective on masturbation..." "Annual tablet sales are now surpassing the number of PC sales with an estimated 70 million iPads being sold across the …

[Anonymous Coward]

N! S! F! W!

I know it's Friday, but some of us have bosses who go to Church and stuff (weird, I know).

[John Bailey]

Re: N! S! F! W!

Well they can use it when they get home then.

[Khaptain]

Re: N! S! F! W!

The priest uses his during confessional, it is after all a gift from Gode.

PS : You have to speak a little bit of French to understand the 2nd part...

[andreas koch]

Rewiring needed

If you would cleverly combine it with this you could at least charge your tablet while you're wanking working.

Other than that, I stand by my comment to the Teddy Love: Get me off this planet . . .

[Bloakey1]

Re: N! S! F! W!

<snip>

"PS : You have to speak a little bit of French to understand the 2nd part..."

Nope, it made me smile in French and in English, although why people from the Ogaden should be sending gifts is a bit beyond me.

[Mark 85]

So this is what???

I guess the new generations don't believe in actual contact with another human-being?

[Fungus Bob]

Re: So this is what???

Yup, straight out of "Demolition Man"...

[JDX]

I don't want to watch that video right now but is the idea you are literally f***ing your iPad?

[Steven Raith]

An Apple fanbois dream come true!

Steven R

(that was worth it, downvotes or not!)

[Steve Davies 3]

It might be but a fanbois wet dream

I am sure that the Samsung copiers will be working overtime this weekend.

After all Appme can't be seen to be innovating now can they

{tongue in cheek comment}

Mines a pint of T.E.A.

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't want to watch that video right now but is the idea you are literally f***ing your iPad?

Yup - now we just have to wait for someone to write the motion-sensor reading app for it. I just want to see how they'll get that past Apple's iTunes shop censors..

[frank ly]

I want to see ....

... a Teddy Love going down on that thing. (Yes, I know I'm weird.)

[Anonymous Coward]

“The Fleshlight LaunchPAD is a great addition to the current Fleshlight owner’s experience.”

Yes -- a night at the opera, a fine dinner, back to the mansion, change into an exquisite robe, get some expensive cognac and select one Fleshlight -- rather, ask Jarbas to lube up Number 73 for tonight. Cinnamon-scented vaseline, I think.

[Anonymous Coward]

What's next ?

iDildo ?

[Steven Raith]

Re: What's next ?

Pretty sure that's already been done over SMS and bluetooth...

I'm not even joking.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: What's next ?

Been there... Done that!

Hacked a couple of Ann Summers devices (one for her, one for him) - a DTMF decoder, PIC and a couple of MOSFETs connected to each, once upon a time when i was having a long distance affair - each toy controlled from the other's phone keypad.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: What's next ?

Kevin? Kevin Warwick?

[Franklin]

Re: What's next ?

Did the same thing myself, many years ago, then got the idea to add a phono plug to it and write chat software that produced DTMF tones. Worked over the phone or the Internet.

First prototype used a simple, small switching transistor instead of a MOSFET, which promptly exploded the first time the toy turned on. (Who knew a simple battery-powered vibrator consumed six watts of power?)

More recently, I've connected an Arduino to a MOSFET and a Neurosky EEG chip, to make a vibe that works on brainwaves. Works really well, and it's even more hands-free than this iPad nonsense.

[Anonymous Coward]

Confused

So you stick something tubular in it to hold the tablet steady while you spank the monkey????

[Johndoe888]

I can't believe that the editor missed the opportunity to do "The work of friction fiction below shows" <snip>

[Anonymous Coward]

That's just creepy

"Try it on"

"Now?"

Shudder

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Sir

"This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams and commercially deceptive content. "

Ah, here it is..

http://vimeo.com/99407834

[Trigun]

I wonder if it comes with an optional sticky label to cover the front facing camera... :D

[samlebon2306]

And all that semen goes to the recycle bin.

[Anonymous Coward]

This is sooooooooooooooooooooo creepy

[Simon Harris]

An earlier version attached to an etch-a-sketch...

... But all the users complained - when they got a bit vigorous with it, the picture disappeared.

[SusanY]

I wonder if they're planning to make use of the iPad's accelerometer? (Some app could use the accelerometer to measure the guy's thrusting, which is then transmitted over the Internet, where .. well, you get the idea).

Consider me skeptical on the whole idea.

[dan1980]

I'm not a prude and whatever people do in the privacy of their own homes is fine by me, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else and they actually keep it, well, private.

Still, are those real comments from real customers?

[lansalot]

well...

"The work of fiction below shows a woman who doesn't appear to be horrified about her partner owning a plastic orifice simulator."

.. I've met very few women who don't own up to having a "plastic orifice simulator". Why should it be so different for men?

[Simon Harris]

Re: well...

" I've met very few women who don't own up to having a "plastic orifice simulator". "

Although most of the women I know own up to having a plastic orifice...

... but then their most important accessory is a bicycle pump!

[lansalot]

Re: well...

I think I just may have meant stimulator, rather than simulator.. .although the fleshlight is the simulator of course...