What have tinkers ever done to El Reg?
Florida bloke cuffed for pit bull shag outrage
A Florida dog-lover earned himself a cuffing last week after allegedly making the beast with two backs with a pit bull, this shock local report recounts. According to cops, Tampa officers were flagged down by locals disturbed by 57-year-old Bernard Marsonek's public display of cano-jiggyness Police mugshot of Bernard Marsonek …
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Tuesday 11th March 2014 14:19 GMT Sherrie Ludwig
Re: Isn't this just
"Normal for Florida?"
Can you Floridians do something about the politicians you've been electing? They make this guy look like a pillar of the community. Just embarrassing. I moved out of Ohio because it was looking like Florida without the palm trees. Something in the water? Secret CIA trials of mind-altering substances?
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Wednesday 12th March 2014 07:18 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Isn't this just
"Florida Man" seems to be busy yet again, and this time he looks like he was taking comfort with a handle of some of Auburndale's Finest "Whiskey" (as last week was a very good year) and a Steel Reserve or six from ABC, as well as some fine Largo Meth.
In other words, Ceterum censeo Polk/Pasco/Pinellas County esse delendam. Oughta be a mantra from Sanford to Sarasota.
-Orlando, FL
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Monday 10th March 2014 13:51 GMT James O'Shea
Re: Isn't this just
"Even Floridians admit that when they see headlines like this, they assume that their State is involved somehow."
Of course. See further the infamous 'Florida Man' column.
http://www.mypalmbeachpost.com/news/news/state-regional/cerabino-misadventures-of-florida-man-provides-a-c/nbhNH/
There was a recent letter in the PB Post wherein someone complained about how the news media are always picking on Florida, don't stories like this happen elsewhere? (Answer... apparently not. At least not with _eight_ dogs and illegal guns.)
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Monday 10th March 2014 14:05 GMT Jemma
In (mostly) the words of the great Pterry..
"He'd have given his right arm to be called two-*dogs*-fscking..."
And I wouldn't blame the Floridians too much - I've seen similar in Ohio & Ipswich UK (the redhead will remain nameless).
Inconsequential fact - a dogs wang is actually cleaner than the average humans mouth..
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Monday 10th March 2014 14:44 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: In (mostly) the words of the great Pterry..
I would really like a link to the research that established that.
Is that before or after my dog has gone for a walk and decided to stand in a stagnant pond up to his chest?
I doubt Florida is in reality much worse than other places; perhaps they are just more upfront about reporting things.
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Monday 10th March 2014 17:09 GMT Jemma
Re: In (mostly) the words of the great Pterry..
The equipment...,so to speak, is retracted for the majority of the time so it stays nice and protected even when they find the most disgusting places to roll around.
The bit you see doing the dangle is the sheath - not the business end of things - that only shows up when needed.
As to the research - what do you think vetinarians do all day - its hardly rocket science - just compare the flora on the human body with that of a dog and you'll find that dogs are actually cleaner at both ends - less nasties if you kiss a dog than the average human.. and vice (squad) versa..
There are some zoonoses you need to watch - especially with cats - new research indicates infection with a particular cat parasite makes you more likely to have car accidents.. by slowing reflexes & altering risk perception.
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Monday 10th March 2014 20:10 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: In (mostly) the words of the great Pterry..
Well, I know the vet is expensive but I hadn't realised it was because she spends all day comparing dogs' flora with that of human beings. You live and sometimes you learn.
Cats - nasty brutes and I'm not surprised they spread diseases. I also learned today that they are responsible for the near-extermination of really cute flightless parrots in New Zealand, and now you tell me that they are responsible for Audi drivers.
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Tuesday 11th March 2014 12:59 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: In (mostly) the words of the great Pterry..
> you'll find that dogs are actually cleaner at both ends - less nasties if you kiss a dog than the average human..
I think doggy hygiene has improved greatly over recent years. "Dog breath" used to be a credible insult but now the chances are it's the owner who's the halitotic one. Dunno about the other end but it brings to mind the joke about the bloke who goes into a pub and sees a dog licking its knob.
Bloke to barman: "I wish I could do that!"
Barman: "If you buy him a packet of crisps, he'll let you."
Boom boom! The old ones are the best.
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