Digital ID
Let's not pretend this is mainly about children. Digital ID has been the answer in search of a question for years. The government has simply found the one pretext you can't argue with: object, and you're soft on child safety. That's why this hill, and not another.
Follow the money. The Tony Blair Institute, Britain's loudest advocate for mandatory Digital ID, has taken north of £250 million from Larry Ellison, whose firm Oracle holds over a billion in UK public sector contracts and sells exactly the backend a national ID scheme would run on. No conflict, they say. The think tank pushing the policy is bankrolled by the man who'd build the plumbing, and Whitehall treats its papers as neutral advice.
The "age assurance" framing buys cover. Ofcom permits facial age estimation, which supposedly guesses your age without learning your name. A camera measuring your face to sort you into a category, an idea with a long and unlovely pedigree running from the skull-calipers of the last century to the cloud, and defeated in this very article by a teenager with a drawn-on moustache. And the "we delete it instantly, trust us" line? Spain fined Yoti, the gold-standard vendor, the better part of a million euros in March for mishandling biometric data. The promise is worth whatever the enforcement behind it is, which is nothing much.
Estimation is the thin end, by design. Faced with ruinous fines, platforms default to hard checks, credit cards, open banking, documents. Then a minister points out how wasteful it is for everyone to build their own, and offers the fix that was always in the drawer: one government credential to verify you everywhere. And it won't be a card in your wallet. It'll be an app on the phone in your pocket, the one with the mic, camera and GPS, one mandatory update from logging where you go and one emergency from being the thing you produce before you're allowed to speak. You needn't think today's ministers are villains. Permissions don't roll back, and governments change.
Meanwhile the algorithms driving the actual harm sail on untouched. The friction lands on you. A determined fifteen-year-old will route around all of it in an afternoon. The rest of us are being talked into installing the tracker ourselves, for the children, and thanking them for it.
Imagine how useful this machinery will become for the inevitable far-right government that will eventually come.