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back to article Kids say they can beat age checks by drawing on a fake mustache

It’s been months since the UK government began requiring stronger age checks under the Online Safety Act, and recent research suggests those measures are falling short of keeping kids away from harmful content. In some cases, even drawing on a mustache has been reported as enough to fool age detection software. Like keeping …

  1. Blackjack Silver badge
    FAIL

    So, what can be done to make kids' online safety more effective? Parents should take responsibility, a government response will be always late, outdated and mostly ineffective because technology keeps advancing faster that legislation.

    Hey remember when Internet Cafes were a thing? Remember when several countries forced them to use kiid safe firewalls? People started to use early smartphones to use Internet and bringing their laptops to regulars Cafes that had free Wifi and all that firewall did was to help to kill what few Internet Cafes were left faster.

    Take responsibility for your kids because leaving this to the government or their teachers will never be really effective.

    1. hedgie Bronze badge

      At least there's a chance of the kids having a good teacher. "Age verification" laws are completely idiotic, at best, and sinister at worst. Either they can be trivially bypassed, and enacted by politicians who want to be seen as doing something, or are part of some Big Brother nonsense. With the rise of authoritarianism pretty much worldwide, the latter will almost certainly be the case even if that was not the original intent.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Ah, but there's the thing - "chance" of a good teacher.

        I work in IT. I used to teach many years ago but certainly wouldn't do it today with all the extra work teachers have to do. As a result, some lessons where a computer lab is used, many (not all) teachers use it as a time to get their own work done and don't monitor the students whatsoever - expecting the support staff and filtering equipment to do the work for them.

        1. hedgie Bronze badge

          All too true, but I was thinking more about teachers providing education for online uses that parents ought to do but haven't rather than watching the sprogs every single moment. They might not learn how to protect themselves at home, but teachers can at least provide instruction in that regard. Either way, these age verification laws and methods aren't the way to go.

      2. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
        Big Brother

        Worse than that. The government are encouraging people who are accessing porn sites to grant use of webcam for "identification" purposes.

        You can guarantee that scammers are setting up "porn" sites with their own verification that then captures detailed images of your face and may well keep the webcam recording while you're enjoying the entertainment.

        Suddenly those scam emails claiming to have video of your intimate moments bear a good chance of being genuine. If I were such a scammer I wouldn't be able to thank the government enough for this gift.

        1. Ian Johnston Silver badge

          Suddenly those scam emails claiming to have video of your intimate moments bear a good chance of being genuine.

          Meh. Just say "It's a deepfake" and get on with your life. The internet taketh away and the internet giveth.

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            "Suddenly those scam emails claiming to have video of your intimate moments bear a good chance of being genuine. "

            The only computer (iMac) that I have with a built in camera has strategically placed opaque tape over the camera. I don't even want it being used as a light sensor. Somebody that uses a camera could make a flap that can be flipped open when it's in use. I haven't seen a story in a while, but it was found that school issued laptops with monitoring software could turn cameras on with no indication. Maybe they've disabled that, but I doubt it.

            I don't install any of the fancy self-surveillance gear either.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Finnish style Critical Thinking Education for the Internet and socials age….. not Prohibition.

      1. Blazde Silver badge

        The kids would have to get in line behind all the adults even more in need of this

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Kids have scheduled Technology and PHSE learning already. A module as part of that.

    3. graemep Bronze badge

      Parents need to be empowered, not replaced. There is a lot that can be done: e.g. all ads mobile connections should offer child safe SIMs as an option, all broadband connections should have a filtering option per device at the router. All this is possible, some of it exists, parents need to know.

      One of the problems is that the government believes parents (it is a pervasive assumption of the Children's Wellbeing and Schools Bill) are not to be trusted so this is the opposite of what they want to do. They do not want parents to take responsibility, they want "professional" to do so. It does not work, but they are convinced it will.

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        "They do not want parents to take responsibility, they want "professional" to do so."

        I wonder where they'd find a "professional". An attorney with good hair that made enough back room deals to get elected to a government post? I'm not seeing a background there that's dripping with qualifications.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The problem is parents are working against megacorps using cunning designer and developers to beat them and turn their children into behavioural surplus to mine money from.

      Is an highly asymmetric battle few parents can hope to win alone. But politicians will be very careful to touch the perfect propaganda machine.

      There are ways to make age verification checks working - but they would need ID cards - so, impossible in UK.

      (no, the site won't ever access the ID card data.... would only get an Pass/Deny answer - and "deny" could also alert parents...).

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        "The problem is parents are working against megacorps using cunning designer and developers to beat them and turn their children into behavioural surplus to mine money from."

        If the parents aren't going to parent, the megacorps win. Handing Jimmy or Jane a smart phone with unlimited service and sending them out the door is not a grand idea. Letting them keep them in their possession 24/7 is also a recipe for bad things happening. I applaud some of my friends that didn't allow computers and TV's in their kid's rooms. We are grandparent age now so those kids wouldn't have been around when phones were being handed out.

      2. SundogUK Silver badge

        How to tell me you're a communist without admitting you're a communist.

    5. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
      Facepalm

      This is the internet. It's no place for logical thought.

    6. Cruachan Silver badge

      I've said all along that this should be done at the household level, the bill payer has to age verify anyway for the direct debit or however the bill is paid so give them the keys to the on/off switch and not some random "identity verification" provider, many of whom have already been found to be dodgy.

      Parents don't want to be seen as the bad guys though, and they can point to the government and say "it was them" whilst the government can say "look, we thought of the children" as if everything is now peachy.

      1. Excused Boots Silver badge

        Yes OK I sort of see what you mean, but there simply isn’t any sort of simple ON/OFF switch. Well maybe there is, but it’s a particularly blunt instrument. Many ISPs have some kind of ‘parental controls’ which are based on DNS blocks, but these are all or nothing. You want to stop junior from accessing, say, gambling sites, fine, click the checkbox - but don’t ever think you are going to put a bet on some nag running in the 3:15 at Epsom!

        The router/firewall provided by the ISP, simply sees traffic coming from a device on your home network to some internet address. It has only a vague idea of which device that is, and absolutely no idea of who is actually using it. In an enterprise environment it is possible to do this, but using firewalls costing many many, many hundreds of £/$ and an annual subscription, oh and some means of ‘logging in' to your home network on a personal basis, something like WPA2-Enterprise, so the network, ‘knows’ who you are (assuming that as the parent, you have set up all the various accounts and permissions), you have some kind of ‘authentication system' (RADIUS?) and are prepared to maintain it.

        And yes, you might now be thinking that I don’t care and am just putting up obstacles. No, I do care, I have two daughters, now both adults, but when they were young, I did set up some degree of parental control filters directly on their devices, but with the understanding that I know they were fallible. So their mother and I followed it up with telling them ‘this gives you access to the sum total of human knowledge, but you probably will find or stumble across something that you are worried about, not sure, are concerned, doesn't seem right Fine, you come to me or your Mum and tell us and we will explain it to you. The thing to remember is that you are absolutely not in any trouble, you won’t be punished in any way - in fact quite the reverse, all credit to you for seeking clarification”.

        Now I do appreciate that not all parents are like this, they may not have the technical understanding, but that’s fine - just don’t try to offload parental responsibility to a third party. It simply will not ever work!

        1. Cruachan Silver badge

          No doubt it's not an easy problem to solve, categorised block lists are hard to maintain and many sites will have multiple domains as well, plus proxy bypass websites will always be a thing.

          I was oversimplifying with "on/off switch", what I meant though is that similar to TV boxes having a PIN to unlock adult channels there would need to be a way for people to bypass the filters, as you noted with the horse racing for example. Huge numbers of people in the UK who aren't gamblers like a flutter on the Grand National for example.

          If it was going to be done via block lists then there would have to be a centralised block list maintained by someone, presumably ofcom, with the ISPs reading from it on their devices. We've had in the past the farcical decision to block torrent sites, which is only enforced on the "big" ISPs and not all ISPs as a prime example of poorly thought out legislation.

        2. MachDiamond Silver badge

          "Now I do appreciate that not all parents are like this, they may not have the technical understanding, but that’s fine"

          And a bunch with the most problematic children's parents will be off at the tattoo/piercing parlor and not at home anyway.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Non sequitur

    I don't see how this quote:

    "When speaking to parents and children about these situations, they described scenarios in which parents felt they understood the risks involved and, based on their knowledge of their child, were confident the activity was safe," Internet Matters said of parents who let their kids engage in risky behavior as long as they did it where they could be supervised.

    ... leads to this conclusion:

    Parents told Internet Matters that lawmakers need to do more, and CEO Rachel Huggins agreed that they need help.

    "Stronger action is needed from both government and industry[...]"

    Not unless you're not remotely bothered about the reality of the subject of parenting and want to abdicate responsibility. That's fine if you do: DON'T force it on the rest of the country, just because you want someone to blame when something goes wrong!

    1. breakfast Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: Non sequitur

      What an extraordinary coincidence that parents told the campaign group that what was needed was the exact thing that the campaign group campaigns for!

  3. IGotOut Silver badge

    Yup...

    ...i helped my kids get around them.

    Both my daughters are educated, level headed and are better at spotting bullshit on social media than most "adults". Besides I got up to way worse shit than they do now.

    I'm in my 50s and stick two fingers up to society's oppression, conformity and mediocrity and I'm the happiest I've been in my life, a lesson learned far to late in life.

    1. Sok Puppette

      Re: Yup...

      I salute you. Keep fighting the good fight against this stupid moral panic bullshit.

    2. graemep Bronze badge

      Re: Yup...

      My daughters are adults now, but I agreed with you when they were younger. They needed guidance and supervision, but not sweeping limits.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yup...

      And do you have teen children? I see the issue....

      1. IGotOut Silver badge

        Re: Yup...

        Both my girls are teenagers.

        1. Excused Boots Silver badge

          Re: Yup...

          My two daughters are now adults, but when they were younger and had devices, both their mother and I had ‘the conversation’ with them about being careful and always come to us if you aren’t sure.

          I think my eldest daughter was 15 or maybe 16, when she told me she had been sent some ‘dick-pics’ from some weirdo she had met on some gaming platform, and he wanted her to send some nudes. Oh ok so what did you do, I asked her. Her response was she sent him a message saying ‘I’m not too sure what that is, but if it is what I think it is you may want to see a doctor, as my cat has a bigger one!’ Oddly enough he blocked her!

          Having then high-fived her, I just thought, my work here is done!

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: Yup...

            " but if it is what I think it is you may want to see a doctor, as my cat has a bigger one!’ "

            Another modern comeback might be "I ran the photo through AI and it recommend that immediate treatment should be sought or the issue could become fatal. "

          2. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: Yup...

            "when she told me she had been sent some ‘dick-pics’ from some weirdo she had met on some gaming platform, "

            Some of the gaming systems can be worse than FB. That they allow sending every known file between players, that's a bit disturbing.

  4. Tron Silver badge

    Memo to Glorious Leaders: Censorship makes you unpopular.

    Prohibition was unpopular and so is OSA censorship. As Starmer will find out in the coming election. The more ID checks they demand, the more personal info people have to hand over to third parties who then get hacked, as a French agency recently was.

    We had ISP blocks before OSA censorship. They worked if parents turned them on, as it was a simple block rather than an ID system. The activists were so intent on overriding parental control that they forced a switch from a system that could work and didn't annoy anyone, to one that won't work and does annoy people.

    Politicians that follow activists should consider that activists typically hold a minority view. Pander to a minority in an election, at the expense or inconvenience of the majority, and you will lose. And you will deserve to lose.

    1. Dr Dan Holdsworth
      Pirate

      Re: Memo to Glorious Leaders: Censorship makes you unpopular.

      The current way that the Online Safety Act is being implemented is so bad that I can only conclude that some group in the Civil Service is deliberately suggesting the worst solutions possible to be implemented. Consider the current system: HM Government spends a long time trying to educate the population into not giving personal info out to random companies on the Internet, then tells people to give VERY personal info out to adult verification services which then have to be trusted not to blackmail said adults who enjoy a spot of BDSM porn now and again.

      The forcible verification is implemented by telling OFCOM to go round the world threatening companies into compliance with big fines that for anywhere outside the UK they cannot actually enforce; 4chan is currently mocking and making great fun of OFCOM as it tries to enforce its fines without any legal authority whatsoever. Nice one Government, you're making your whole administration look like delusional numpties!

      Finally, the Government is teaching a generation of kids that the Government is really very stupid indeed and frequently makes up stupid rules, but if you don't like the stupid rules you can simply get around them trivially. This has been going on a while in other areas as well, such as motor vehicle registration plates which can trivially be altered because there isn't a centralised monopoly on making them, and there are insufficient police around to make such crime difficult.

      Teaching people to step around inconvenient laws is a really stupid thing to do.

      1. ITMA Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Memo to Glorious Leaders: Censorship makes you unpopular.

        "Teaching people to step around inconvenient laws is a really stupid thing to do."

        That is what lawyers and accountants are for.... They certainly seem to make a lot of money, especially for corporate clients, doing exactly that - stepping around "inconvenient" laws (especially tax laws).

    2. Bebu sa Ware Silver badge
      Windows

      "activists typically hold a minority view"

      They would wouldn't they ? Otherwise they wouldn't be activists. More your prime time pundit.

      Joking aside it is a valid point. I suspect parties do pander to a variety of minority interests because of low voter turnout, first-past-the-post polls and typically small winning margins makes chasing even the most marginal interest groups - up to and including the rabid raving loonies - a worthwhile investment.

      Australia has compulsory proportional voting which does seem to push some of the nuttier interests off to minor or single platform parties.

      The attempt to restrict access to social media of under 16s is based on evidence of real harm from social media use much of which isn't particularly age related. The efficacy of the legislated measures is in doubt; not so much the intent.

      Ultimately I suspect social media will be restricted to operating within national boundaries (or within regions with uniform regulatory frameworks.)

      I can imagine if you want to access Fecesbook in Australia it will be a purely Australian Fecesbook subject to Australian regulation (and taxation) accessible only to residents.

      At this point I think the fragmentation of the internet along national or common regulatory regions is probably inevitable.

    3. andy gibson

      Re: Memo to Glorious Leaders: Censorship makes you unpopular.

      Funny how voter ID was a terrible thing according to Labour, and would be removed as soon they got into power.

      2 years on, guess what's still in place and will be staying....

  5. Long John Silver Silver badge
    Pirate

    Battles against nebulous 'harm' may be unproductive

    Setting aside documented instances when adults attempt (or succeed) in seducing minors into behaviours endangering the victims' physical, mental, or sexual wellbeing, leaves a bewildering miscellany of worries, some tangible, and others in the eye of particular beholders, which age-verification is claimed to reduce.

    Regarding matters broadly to be labelled 'abuse', there is broad belief that wrongdoers must be thwarted, and if caught punished. Presumably, 'social media' and some discussion fora are rated as potential dangers. When these outlets are identified, their owners, if known, must be made responsible for supervising visitors. That applies to the big names, e.g. Twatter, and to fly-by-night outfits. Site blocking is crude, but can succeed in containing problems if blocking is regularly updated in a game of whack-a-mole. The prospect of blocking by one or more nations definitely would concentrate the minds of mainstream social media.

    A lot of effort goes into blocking sites the offence of which is promoting removing crumbs from the tables of fat cat copyright rentiers. This effort would better be directed towards sites careless over potential harm to children and vulnerable adults. It's not just sexual predation to be considered. The Internet abounds with sites promulgating weird dietary, behavioural, and other life-style choices which are inappropriate for consideration by the immature. Why not identify them and keep them blocked for the benefit of everyone? Introduce legislation exempting government agencies from commercial (i.e. lost revenue) blowback when site owners assert they have been wrongly pilloried.

    Simply blocking offers no infallibility, but it together with whack-a-mole deters everyone other than the committed, especially children with their many distractions (unless they are of obsessive nature).

    The remainder of worries appears to centre upon access, without participation, to pornography. Throughout my nearly octogenarian lifetime in the UK, 'battles' and the shifting of boundaries have been continuous. For example, 'content' available now from terrestrial broadcasters would in the 50s and 60s have caused literal apoplexy among a 'Good and Great' concerned over the lax mores of lesser folk whilst themselves indulging in whatever they fancy.

    For instance, nudity is commonplace in media legitimately available to children. Why shouldn't everyone take it in their stride? Perhaps access to explicit sexual activities of mainstream nature, such as in the comic French film 'Sexual Chronicles of a French Family' (2012) or the amusing 'Arabian Nights' (1974) should be incorporated into 'sex education' for adolescents; no doubt, much more enjoyable than earnest pontification over 'gender' and other modern nonsense preoccupations.

    Non-mainstream, yet legal, materials likely offputting or puzzling for most adolescents, is better relegated to the whack-a-mole category (e.g. Pornhub and its like).

    There is a place for age-checking, but by far more imaginative means than the numpties in Parliament would conceive. Why not commandeer 'AI' for the task? People, children and adults, could register themselves on each of their devices through 'conversation' with a high-end AI. Assuming the AI had been trained on the usual dross, plus extensive other materials, the conversation could lead to categorising an individual as mentally mature/immature, low/medium/high intelligence, broadly/narrowly educated, etc, without needing to assign a specific age.

    Questions would range over factual knowledge, beliefs about appropriate behaviours in particular situations, and tests of mental acuity. Regarding factual knowledge, total ignorance of 'conversations' on Twatter/Facebook, of 'celebrities/influencers' lifestyles and opinions, and of the names of footballers, would be a strong step towards assignment in the upper categories of sentience.

    Similarly, an hypothetical question such as "You were driving a car and knocked an old man off his bicycle. Which of the following immediate actions by you would be most sensible to do first? - (a) Check whether the man is injured. (b) … (c) … (d) Get the man onto his feet and then punch him in the face for damaging your car's bodywork - should if answered (d) result in banning from any site which gives the slightest hint of portraying or condoning violence. Thus, 'Superman' fan club websites would be off-limits.

    A fifteen-year-old offering some inkling of what 'Special Relativity' is about would earn a free pass to anything so long as he hadn't made praise for the Beatles' musicality.

    Committee types could have hours of immense fun fine-tuning the age-checking mechanism.

    1. tychos nose

      Re: Battles against nebulous 'harm' may be unproductive

      Downvoted purely for the Beatles comment.

    2. Fluffy Cactus

      Re: Battles against nebulous 'harm' may be unproductive

      Sorry, I am so old, that no one checks my age anymore. It is liberating. On the internet, when I am asked about my age to view fairly harmless news and movies, I will immediately

      give these internet idiots a good feedback about "Stop bothering me!!! and I won't use any of your websites if you do not stop!".

      Parents can supervise their kids all they want, and they should. I don't need any big brotherism automatic AI judgment insanity!

  6. TheMaskedMan

    Goodness, what a surprise. Kids, especially teens, are not going to be deterred from doing what they want by age restrictions. I wasn't, I'm sure most of the others here weren't, and the current generation won't be either. All the government is doing is making themselves unpopular (possibly the only thing they're really good at) and teaching younglings how to bypass restrictions.

    So, having found that they're being ignored and their pet project doesn't work, will the politicians back down? Not a chance. They will push for more effective checks, which will also not work and be more annoying for the rest of us. The result will be an arms race that they cannot win, with kids slipping through the restrictions with ease (screen shots of game characters indeed - nice one!) and the rest of use being inconvenienced. Can they really not see this inevitable outcome, or are they just so hellbent on control that they don't care?

    1. vtcodger Silver badge

      Quelle Surprise

      The only surprise here is that 17% of the kids say the checks are difficult to get around. Based on my own experience (I was a kid a very long time ago) and that of my kids, and what I observed while working part time in a nearby K-6 school, my bet would have been that within 48 hours of deployment nine out of any ten randomly selected schoolchildren would know at least three ways to bypass the age checks. It's not like kids don't talk to each other.

      Of course, it's possible that many/most of the children surveyed are just humoring the survey takers. They know all too well that adults can be dangerous and unpredictable when not told what they want to hear.

      1. Persona Silver badge

        Re: Quelle Surprise

        Kids tell lies on surveys. What they will say if they believe it is a truly anonymous survey is very different from the answers they give if the believe teachers and parents will see them.

      2. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
        Holmes

        Re: Quelle Surprise

        So <17% of kids are smart enough to know that if you say it's easy to bypass, the powers that be will enforce tighter checks.

        Saying that it's really effective and can't be bypassed will maintain the status quo of it actually being easy to bypass.

        They're kids, I guess they still have life lessons to learn.

      3. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Quelle Surprise

        "It's not like kids don't talk to each other."

        When I was in high school I knew all of the best places to pass a fake ID to get beer and wine coolers. All the girls liked wine coolers. All of the best places to "park" were also shared. Hiking trails with nicely concealing foliage and few creepy crawlies. My friends and I also put out a book called "The Cheap Date" where we listed some of the information (not the best out of the way places. Only the most well known) and eateries with good prices and inexpensive things to do on a date. it was handy that some of us worked as aids in the media center where we could print the book for free.

  7. The Central Scrutinizer Silver badge

    These stupid age verification laws normalise surveillance. They're getting a whole generation used to the idea that they need to turn a camera on when they access content online. It is not OK to have to constantly prove you're an adult every time you want to do something online. I wonder if the politicians can even spell "panopticon".

    1. Dr Dan Holdsworth
      FAIL

      What particularly annoys me about these rules is the incredible ineptness of them. If you want to implement an adult check on the internet, then a DNS filter is the obvious method. Simply require ISPs to mirror an official DNS from their site and use this as the safe for all DNS.

      If someone wants to go outside this, then they authenticate as an adult with their local ISP and then the device whose MAC address verified gets a few hours of open DNS access. That would be trivial to bypass but sufficiently effective to be a 95% solution. It would also not involve people having to use dubious adult verification services and wouldn't be keeping logs of where they went on that system (logs probably taken elsewhere though).

      Government method: stupid and impractical. DNS method: more elegant, safer for users, likely just as effective. Both vulnerable to VPN circumvention but then so are most censorship systems.

      1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
        Boffin

        DNS filters also fail when DoH (DNS over HTTPS) is used. As is the default by all the big browsers now.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          But only terrorists would use DoH

          Signed: your friendly local People's committee for Public Safety

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Actually, allowing using faces this way is a huge boom for AI training.... but politicians can't be easily fooled when they meet things they can't understand. They still believe computers work because some kind of magic....

    3. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "They're getting a whole generation used to the idea that they need to turn a camera on when they access content online."

      If that gets normalized, devices without cameras will prevent adults from doing things online. My production computer doesn't have any cameras or microphones on it and I'd have to add another card with more ports to plug something in. Can one even buy a "web cam" these days?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Don't worry there will be one built into the new official Apple iVidscreen

        1. MachDiamond Silver badge

          "Don't worry there will be one built into the new official Apple iVidscreen"

          That's ok then, I have Eizo monitors.

  8. Cheshire Cat
    Stop

    The only people this helps are the nonces

    If some nonce decides to try and target my kids, I don't want them to be scared they'll get in trouble for circumventing some petty age restriction rule. I'd far rather they come and tell me that pedobear6969 is asking for nudes so that I can report him to the plod (for what good it will do).

    If kids feel that they will get in trouble for telling, because its illegal for them to be on that website, then that's another lever the pervs can use to try and pressure vulnerable kids into compromising positions.

    As far as the other content goes, it gets far too heavy-handed and ends up blocking much more than just the genuinely disturbing stuff. And kids will always get around this sort of thing. As Dilbert(?) said, "You're going to pit your coding skills against the combined hormones of every teenager? Good luck"

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: The only people this helps are the nonces

      " so that I can report him to the plod"

      The question is which plod. When it comes to internet stuff, nobody seems to have jurisdiction until a news report comes out that one is boasting about a big bust. Of course that particular group with a black budget is utterly unreachable.

  9. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "Stronger action is needed from both government and industry"

    No.

    What is needed is stronger parental education and guidance, and it just so happens that actual parenting is apparently happening.

    Because that is NOT what the government wants. It wants nice obedient sheeple to which it can point and say "Look ! Squirrel !" and, while the sheeple are distracted, the "masterminds" are filling their pockets and living the high life.

  10. EdSaxby

    This was always going to be the case.

    All governments are too week to actually take on the tech companies to stop them from using addictive engagement algorithms. That's the real problem, not one of young adults using the internet.

  11. Paul Herber Silver badge

    " ... drawing on a fake mustache"

    Well that's okay for the girls, but what about the boys?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fashion-Non-Adhesive-Realistic-Simulation-Crossdressing/dp/B07CNRR2WJ

      ?

      1. Paul Herber Silver badge

        I get more than enough weird adverts on webpages that may or may not be targetted. The lady's underwear ads are probably because I share an IP address with the wife. Honestly. Ditto with the shoes. I really don't wish to be adding some new thing so I won't be following that link, thank you very much though.

        1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

          Does your wife get targeted adverts derived from your internet activity?

          Maybe your wife has been posing questions such as this on the internet: "Why doesn't my husband buy me fancy lingerie?"

          1. Bebu sa Ware Silver badge
            Facepalm

            "Why doesn't my husband buy me fancy lingerie?"

            Abby: "Dear Disappointed, he would be far too embarrassed to explain the tailoring of said lingerie."

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "Well that's okay for the girls, but what about the boys?"

      There's a difference? From all the news, I thought They abolished that.

  12. IamAProton Bronze badge

    Internet is not cool

    It's a tool. Perhaps what school/government can do it to help promote "real life" activities. Wasting your life to get a "like" from some muppets that spend most on their day on a smartphone is not good; this should be the message for kids/teenagers.

    Maybe just bring back some of the "manual activities" classes form the old times. STEM is good, computer skills are a necessity nowadays, but i doubt a kid will become a good engine designer if it never changed a sparkplug in its life.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Internet is not cool

      > but i doubt a kid will become a good engine designer if it never changed a sparkplug in its life.

      Sparkplugs ? What century are you living in ?

      Under the new Properly-British curriculum (I say that word sounds a bit foreign, can we look into it? ed.) children will learn to properly drive steam engines before being sent up chimneys, to Make Britain Great Again

      1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Internet is not cool

        That last bit comes out pronounced as as:

        MmmmB GAah

        Appropriate really!

      2. IamAProton Bronze badge

        Re: Internet is not cool

        It was intentional to pick something 'old school', but actually not so much since pretty much all the professional gardening relies on gasoline engines. F1 cars and MotoGP bikes need sparkplugs too.

        If you live in the city and travel mostly in 'modern' places (and not too far from cities) you can get by with EVs and battery mowers, otherwise you still need gasoline (or diesel) engines.

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Internet is not cool

      "but i doubt a kid will become a good engine designer if it never changed a sparkplug in its life."

      A really big influence in my life's direction was the Rocket Club in sixth grade. At the time it was a fun way to make things and fly them. Later on I started learning a lot more about the design aspects, math and all sorts of other stuff. I see it as a fun activity that has a bottomless rabbit hole to explore. Pretty much anything that was hands-on was interesting to me. Electronics, theatre (sets, lights, etc), music and shop classes. Why learn Trig? It's useful to know if you want to make things which makes the math classes more interesting as I could see an immediate application. CAD and CNC make some of that a bit archaic, but I've often not had access to more than very manual machinery/hand tools. Learning manual drafting first was a very good basis for learning how to do things in CAD. The wonders of the Speed Square are still amazing.

      1. IamAProton Bronze badge

        Re: Internet is not cool

        I'm glad you got the gist of my post :)

  13. fnusnu

    The 'stronger action from government' is likely to mean rolling out Digital ID to all citizens from birth

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Which actually is the only thing that works, and no, it's not a "surveillance state" - it's "surveillance capitalims" you should be worried about....

  14. Fonant Silver badge

    Victim-blaming, again

    Seems a lot like "putting restrictions on the victims" instead of "persuading the unpleasant people not to attack".

    Too much power is held by multi-national over-valued merchants of advertising (which is simply making people want what they don't need).

    Luckily in my children's generation there is a distinct wish to ditch fancy digital stuff and get back to basics for a "real life". Film cameras, record players, outdoor activities, etc. I am sure that society will turn against AI and Advertising, people really don't like bullshit.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Victim-blaming, again

      There's been an explosion in shooting film. Kodak and Fuji have been ramping up film production and there's even been some resurrection of old formulations. I'm also finding more gear on eBay as people find it worth listing. There's even 3D printed large format film cameras and adapters to use digital cameras as sensors. It's not perfect and people are finding joy again in those imperfections and things happening that weren't expected. See Nick Carver on YouTube for some adventures with the 6x17 format film camera. He's a riot.

  15. glennsills@gmail.com Bronze badge

    Simple solution

    Pay underage kids a bounty - collected by the government from the web property. Let's say $5000 every time the kid gets in. I'm pretty sure that these businesses will find a way to keep kids out.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We tried to tell them, any half sharp tech could have (and did) tell them it couldn't work. Funny that. Educating the parents is the only answer

  17. Maurice Mynah
    Joke

    Age verification - for all...

    We haven't got elections round here this year, but I'm planning for next year to demand age verification from any candidate whose party is pushing it. Copy of birth certificate and/or driving license will do. They needn't worry, I promise not to do anything underhand with the data, and it will be stored in a secure biscuit tin in the shed. No verification, no vote!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Age verification - for all...

      Actually, since most state has rules about the age to be a candidate for given roles, they have to submit documents to demonstrate they have the required age.

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Age verification - for all...

        In the US, the role with a minimum age is that of President (35). Perhaps there are some local governments that require candidates to be at least 18 for legal reasons, but that's it.

  18. prh99

    Who'd have thought, big tech can't replace parents.

  19. herman Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Groucho

    I expected a boom in Groucho Marx disguises.

    1. breakfast Silver badge

      Re: Groucho

      I believe the term is "Grouchomarxxing."

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have OpenDNS Family Shield set up on my router at home. When my child works out how to get round that they'll also be mature enough to watch people fucking without their brain exploding.

  21. nobody who matters Silver badge

    "Kids say they can beat age checks by drawing on a fake mustache"

    As the OSA and the children concerned are in the UK, it should be a moustache ;)

    Although, due to the ever decreasing standard of English in schools here, a lot of the children will in all probability be unaware of that.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      ""Kids say they can beat age checks by drawing on a fake mustache""

      I doubt they are drawing them, but using AI. I made some portraits for one of my clients who's head is lacking a natural cover. Another friend of his had all sorts of fun "photoshopping" different hairstyles on. Hilarious! and very convincing.

  22. teebie

    "Parents told Internet Matters that lawmakers need to do more,"

    Good parents didn't.

  23. Colin Wilson 2
    Headmaster

    Mustache??

    "Kids say they can beat age checks by drawing on a fake mustache"

    American kids, presumably

  24. illuminatus

    MOUSTACHE

    MOUSTACHE

    MOUSTACHE

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

      Relevant...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWJFfnHNOWI

  25. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Pointless

    It only takes one bright kid to work out how to defeat this. They will then tell all their mates... who will tell all their mates etc.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Pointless

      But if we ban kids from the internet and phones the knowledge can only spread one playground at a time

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Pointless

      "They will then tell all their mates... who will tell all their mates etc."

      ..... and then a whole sub-reddit takes off and every kid knows around the world in many different languages (and character sets).

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just choose the name of a porn star and do a Google search. Within the first two pages of results will be at least one site without any checks. If/when that gets nobbled, search again.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Am I missing something

    My iPhone now thinks that I’m a teenager, not uploading Id to the fruity fetishists, but I still have access to WhatsApp… clearly age restrictions are working as intended.

  28. Mazzilla_2025
    Angel

    That has made my day. I can see the headlines now "sales of felt tipped pens being bought by kids goes up 1000%". Mum says to kid "is that a caterpillar on your face or you trying to bypass the internet thingy again?". Oh dear. But they have to make sure they dont use permanent ones.

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