Re: Scrapyard moon
That is indeed a problem for objects actually orbiting the moon, but we don't really have very many of those. The much more common case is a flyby, or a mission that goes into orbit but leaves the upper stage flying past the moon. (Obviously, we do have the problem that both the orbiters and the flyby upper stages are increasing in number.)
An upper stage passing by the moon doesn't spend all that much time within the moon's sphere of influence. And, those "lumps" are modelled via a series of spherical harmonics that drop off quickly with distance. Models have been constructed for the gravitational fields of the terrestrial planets and the moon, and even for the much "lumpier" fields around Ceres and Vesta. (For the gas giants, their oblateness matters, and a subset of the spherical harmonics matters. The oblateness of the Sun matters, but it rotates so slowly and is so close to being a sphere that it's barely noticeable.)
Bottom line : if you wanted to plan an impact, you could do so (as was done for, for example, the LCROSS mission in 2009). It will usually be simpler to use the initial lunar flyby to eject the upper stage into heliocentric orbit, though. I think this is what was done with the New Glenn upper stage for the ESCApade mission late last year. (It definitely ended up in an orbit that will put it into heliocentric orbit for a long time, but I don't know if that was a lucky accident or a planned thing.)
I will not be surprised if the eventual "solution" involves throwing the upper stages into heliocentric orbit (because that's easy to do) and being slightly more careful about where satellites that are actually in lunar orbit crash.