Smart mirror shows dumb Windows in elevator

Smart mirrors are all the rage. However, rather than a list of headlines and tasks to do today, an unhappy Windows installation can make a smart mirror seem very dumb indeed. This example, snapped by an eagle-eyed Register reader in a UK hotel elevator would normally be filled with enticing offers - perhaps promoting an …

[Doctor Syntax]

In the world of BOFH just be grateful there's a steel box there when the doors open.

[b0llchit]

Just wait until they force Copilot onto your Elevator install.

<presses button 3>...Copilot: Would you like to visit floor 2 too? There are several interesting things located at floor 2. Also, I'd like to make a stop at floor 6 before you leave because I've been developing a new view for you to enjoy.

<presses button 3>...Copilot: Our new elevator control allows us to go sideways.

...

[Missing Semicolon]

... and then sulks in the basement.

[TangoDelta72]

"Copilot: Our new elevator control allows us to go sideways."

Please don't conflate Copilot with my beloved Wonkavator. I think I left my coat in there...

[KayJ]

Steady on now, that lift has a substantial sterling value attached to it.

[TeeCee]

It's difficult to know exactly what has caused the issue here.

You know those expiring Secure Boot keys that MS are frantically swapping out...?

[elsergiovolador]

Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall

Tell me how many R's there are in strawberry.

[Ol'Peculier]

“I go up," said the elevator, "or down."

"Good," said Zaphod, "We're going up."

"Or down," the elevator reminded him.

"Yeah, OK, up please."

There was a moment of silence.

"Down's very nice," suggested the elevator hopefully.

"Oh yeah?"

"Super."

"Good," said Zaphod, "Now will you take us up?”

- RIP DNA who's birthday would have been yesterday if it wasn't for his untimely spontaneous existstance failure.

[Red Ted]

Lifts with precognition

The lift had precognition so as it would know to be at the correct floor when needed, but that meant that it could also see that the building was about to be demolished so wanted to go down.

As with SCC robots they just ended up getting depressed and sulking in the basement.

[Paul Herber]

Elevator? There's posh!

What's wrong with the good old-fashioned vertical people transporter?

[Phil O'Sophical]

Vertical people are boring, horizontal is much more fun

[M.V. Lipvig]

People are uncomfortable with transporters. Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was so big? <scratch scratch>

[myootnt]

Thank you for your participation in training Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products.

I could take you up, but you won't like it.

[Chris 15]

oddness in the language used

'an overpriced, a disappointing breakfast'

An overpriced what, enquiring minds want to know..

Or there an an extra 'an' where it doesn't want to be?

[Paul Herber]

Re: oddness in the language used

and?

[An_Old_Dog]

Useful Info vs Disturbing the Ignorant

As a techie, I liked the amount of detail available in the old-style NT4/W2K/XP BSODs.

I understand MS doesn't want to disturb technology-ignorant users with "scary", incomprehensible-to-them technical details, so hence the sad-faced LBSODs ("Light-Blue Screen of Death").

How about a "consumer-facing" LBSOD, with a "Press Control-T for detailed technical information." BSOD option?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Useful Info vs Disturbing the Ignorant

They've learned from Apple - don't show an error and people will just assume that everything is working OK; Anything not working must be the fault of something else.

[cyberdemon]

Re: Useful Info vs Disturbing the Ignorant

Oh god, makes me remember the MS teams errors with the dweeb in a beanie hat dreaming of a question mark...

"Oops, something's not right. Please try again"

Aargh die you infernal pile of shit

[Mike Lewis]

Re: Useful Info vs Disturbing the Ignorant

I found that Windows has a black screen of death too which is even less useful. I fixed my neighbours' computer - again - and told them not to move it. Of course, they moved it and got a black screen of death. It turned out that version of Windows running on that hardware was particular about where you plugged in the mouse.

[AndrueC]

there'll always be somebody who'd rather take the stairs when presented with Windows doing what Windows does best.

I always prefer to take the stairs. It can be quicker if I'm only going up a couple of floors and it's healthier. It also leaves the lifts free for those with a genuine need ie;infirm, injured or disabled. I'm 59 years old and I can jog up three for flour flights of stairs and walk many more than that.

[Aleph0]

Props to the photographer

It's not easy to take a photo of a mirror at that angle without also capturing your reflection. Good thing there was some cardboard around, it appears... ;)

[Rory B Bellows]

Re: Props to the photographer

it appears as though they have blacked out the reflection of the person who took the pic

[notyetanotherid]

Re: Props to the photographer

... must be that shadowy Minecraft figure standing behind the cardboard that took the photo...

[PM.]

Let me out at floor 2003

[David 132]

And "Floor 8.1" has overtones of the half-floor in Being John Malkovich!

[Elongated Muskrat]

Floor ten is the very last floor that is ever going to be built, so that's the top floor it will go to.

I'm sorry, floor ten is no longer supported, I'm going to force you onto floor eleven instead.

[Kubla Cant]

But if you want to go to floor eleven the lift has to have Trusted Elevator Model and you have to show us the contents of your briefcase on the way up.

[Paul Hovnanian]

Dumb, on several levels

How many people stand in an elevator looking at the back wall?

[Kubla Cant]

Re: Dumb, on several levels

Mirrors outside lifts were famously the antidote to complaints about how long it took the lift to arrive - people are happier waiting if they can preen. Presumably similar inside the lift.

[Luiz Abdala]

In my apartment building, the elevator ads run on Linux.

I could see them updating and rebooting it in real time, taking the time I went from the 17th floor to the lobby without stops.

It loads not just ads, but also building policy, like hours to take the trash, expected pets' owners' actions, and common areas schedule, such as volleyball court area and BBQ area usage.

It is actually useful and informative, all things considered, and the ads pay for it. The ad company was very smart on what it does and offers: while offering a genuine service, it gets paid by the ads it runs.

I never saw it crash.

[Bebu sa Ware]

Re: In my apartment building, the elevator ads run on Linux.

"also building policy, like hours to take the trash, expected pets' owners' actions, and common areas schedule, such as volleyball court area and BBQ area usage."

All the stuff that was posted on a pin-board in the foyer (or lobby) within my memory.

Pretty dismal that we expect every morsel of trite and essentially static information to be delivered with all the razzamatazz befitting a hollywood blockbuster.

I might even accept an e-paper notice board as a replacement for paper but I suspect the environmental footprint of the e-paper screens would be equivalent to pallet loads of reams of A4 paper.

[Luiz Abdala]

Re: In my apartment building, the elevator ads run on Linux.

Considering the condo I live in consists of 6 towers, 18 lifts, 10 access points, takes an entire city block and 10 minutes to walk through it, I call it a win in efficiency.

Yes, the A4 comparison remains true, but a single employee updates the whole thing in seconds. YMMV.

[BPontius]

It is a read error people, reboot and have mommy change your diaper, GADS!

[Anonymous Coward]

Still borked today... and one of the other 2 lifts at this hotel has joined the fun, its "smart mirror" stuck at some sort of startup screen showing "Welcome" with a choice of Deutsch/English/Español...