Re: a modernized UI with a ribbon
> What drives me insane is WE COULD JUST HAVE THE OPTION. Like we did, in fact, used to have!
As my and others' comments bracketing yours say: you _do_ have the option in LO.
In Windows Office you don't. But the Mac versions of the same suite have native macOS menus _as well as_ the ribbon. You can turn off the ribbon. (Although after the first version or two, this does not persist. When you close and reopen the app, bang, back pops the wretched ribbon.)
Since I normally turn off all toolbars anyway, as I'm a keyboard pilot, I am happy driving it with the ribbon off.
The point? Microsoft did have that option. The codebase supports both UI methods.
Same as if you run unmodified Google Chrome for Linux on Ubuntu Unity, it uses the global menu bar. The same binary, menu-less when native, actually is exposing all the API calls to have a menu, but it's invisible, hidden. Run it on a desktop with a global menu bar, bingo, suddenly it has menus.
MS merely wants to force you to use ribbons. It's doubtless patented and protected. Every OS has menus and toolbars now, so the kings of proprietary apps want to compel everyone to use their copyrighted patented trademarked UI. Which is also why most Windows built-in apps gradually sprouted ribbons, making Explorer as unusable as Office.