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back to article Notepad will now tell you all the ways Microsoft has enshittified it

Microsoft is meddling with Notepad again, this time adding a "What's New" screen so users know the latest indignities heaped on the once-humble text editor. The "What's New" first-run experience will appear during startup to guide users through the app's latest features. According to Microsoft, "this dialog provides a quick …

  1. Paul Herber Silver badge

    I wonder whether any one particular user asked for a great green-crayon option to be added? Best addition to an MS app ever!

    P.S. can we please have bold/italic/underline etc added to the text editor, and font-size, bullet points, and indents, margins, page feeds ...

    In a word ...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Notepad has been consistent and simple for a VERY long time. It had its flaws, but they were few and far between. It was small and just worked.

      Now, if I do not run it as Admin, I cannot save to anything outside of Documents folder which is ridiculous. "Security" restrictions forces me to run it in Admin mode regardless of what I need to edit, which reduces overall security.

      1. Rich 2 Silver badge

        That’s even more ridiculous than windows 8 (? I think - not sure) removing the “format” function. You literally could not format a floppy disk!!

    2. BobChip
      Headmaster

      Green crayon?

      I think you meant RED crayon, surely?

  2. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Andy The Hat

    Great

    I for one think it's a great idea ... I really love pointless bloat and AI in all my systems. I may even buy a new Co-Pilot PC to enjoy it's irrelevant features.

    Did that sound overly sarcastic?

    1. Pickle Rick
      Thumb Up

      Re: Great

      > Did that sound overly sarcastic?

      Yes. Well done!

    2. K555 Silver badge

      Re: Great

      Nooooooo.... not at allllll...

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Great

        In this scenario, I don't think being overly sarcastic is actually possible.

        Although I'm sure Microsoft would happily include an AI feature to help you do so.

  4. Big_Boomer

    Answers on a postcard to,...

    Please post your suggestions for a new name for Notepad. (BloatPad? AITookAShitPad?) Really get creative with it! <LOL>

    1. Bebu sa Ware Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      "new name for Notepad" — Bumswipe ?

      1. BobChip

        Bumswipe?

        Fine! Provided you get to choose the paper first....... Just beware of MS's well known tendency to excessive slop....

    2. lnLog

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      Slop-roll?

    3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      Noteslop V 99.99999

      a snip at $19.99 per month

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

        Not-pAId

        Or bloatpAId, as a variant on the original suggestion.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      WeForgotThePurposeOfThisTool.exe

    5. JWLong Silver badge

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      >Please post your suggestions for a new name for Notepad.

      PoopPad?

    6. Paul Slater

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      Notepad --

      1. theDeathOfRats
        Pint

        Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

        Notepad--

        I think we have a winner ---------------->

    7. vonBureck

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      Training pad!

    8. mitch 2

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      Notepadded

    9. Locomotion69 Bronze badge

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      NoPath

    10. Bluto Nash

      Re: Answers on a postcard to,...

      Scrotepad, obviously.

  5. Dan 55 Silver badge
    FAIL

    Meanwhile

    Notepad, Snipping Tool, other apps broken by new bug in Windows 11

    What could possibly go wrong with a vibe-coded operating system?

  6. m4r35n357 Silver badge

    They are basically . . .

    waving their genitals in your faces at this point.

    1. Bebu sa Ware Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: They are basically . . .

      "waving their genitals in your faces at this point." — a tad risky in my case… I still have my teeth… and am not afraid to use them. :)

      Like an old war horse with the bit between the teeth and tearing into it.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: They are basically . . .

      No change there, then.

  7. f4ff5e1881
    Megaphone

    Edit.com

    Come back Edit.com. All is forgiven.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: Edit.com

      Edlin, please

      1. neilg

        Re: Edit.com

        I always found edlin overly complicated..

        1. ludicrous_buffoon

          Re: Edit.com

          Where's your 'ed' at??

    2. gypsythief

      Re: Edit.com

      It's already back. No idea when, but the other day I, for reasons I forget, idley typed "edit file" into the Terminal app in Windows 11 24H2 and poof! Edit opened, editing "file".

      And no AI in sight. Woohoo!

      1. PB90210 Silver badge

        Re: Edit.com

        No no... that's just Copilot creating an editor on the fly to make you think you have some kind of control over your machine

        It will even create mistakes in your code for you using the latest AI

    3. BJC

      Re: Edit.com

      On this Win11 PC, I just fired up a Command Prompt Terminal session and typed edit. Very surprised to find the text mode editor started and worked well. With that success, I thought I'd try <edlin</i> - well, why wouldn't you?. That wasn't recognised. TBH, I never really used edlin.

      1. f4ff5e1881
        Gimp

        Re: Edit.com

        Jeepers, I had no idea Edit.com was back! Well, as Morgan from The Walking Dead would say, "Everything gets a return..." Not that I'm loopy enough to get a Windows 11 machine just to be reacquainted with it.

  8. Blackjack Silver badge

    There is over a dozen good Notepad replacements, most are free or FOSS. Paint? You can make Windows 7 paint work on Windows 11.

    Heck both old Notepad and old versions of Paint work fine on Wine.

    1. J. Cook
      Boffin

      Blatent plug for a FREE decent text editor...

      Notepad++

      It's free, it has parsing/display markups for just about every programming language in use (and scripting, too!) and speling (via an add-in) and a boat load of other nifty features.

      notepad-plus-plus.org

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Blatent plug for a FREE decent text editor...

        "speling" - now that's ironical

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
          Headmaster

          Re: Blatent plug for a FREE decent text editor...

          via a plug-in

          In this case, the plug-in is brought to you by the letter 'L'.

        2. herman Silver badge

          Re: Blatent plug for a FREE decent text editor...

          The Apache web server had (still has?) a speling module.

    2. Calum Morrison

      We can't have it both ways - wanging on about Notepad++ et al with all their extras, then complaining when MS add anything to Notepad. I know some of the changes to the latter are intrusive, but from what I can tell, they can be turned off. Personally, I find it storing open files between reboots really handy, but I'm not at all bothered about formatting text or Copilot. I reckon I'll switch them off and get on with my life.

  9. NewModelArmy Silver badge

    Microsoft Recruiting Now - Professional Fuckit Uppers

    I am sure others have encountered this :

    A task is given to someone, and they fuck it up so badly, that never in a month of Sundays, you could never find someone paid to fuck it up as badly as someone has done it, so naturally.

    Microsoft are employing all those people.

    1. mcswell Bronze badge

      Re: Microsoft Recruiting Now - Professional Fuckit Uppers

      It's your fault, you fired those people. Where else were they going to go?

  10. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Coat

    Every Cloud

    Has a silver lining. Especially when you have to use Office 365, and today is another day it's keeled over.

    So, maybe Microsoft are just making sure you have something more than just a text editor to write documents.

    A friend called me this morning about the outage, as it was stuck in an install loop. Sent him link to download LibreOffice

    1. Joe W Silver badge

      Re: Every Cloud

      ... has a silver lining, which might be the freezer back they are suffocating you with.

      (BOFH, sorry, cannot say which story)

    2. mcswell Bronze badge

      Re: Every Cloud

      Yeah, but every silver lining has a dark cloud around it.

  11. xyz123 Silver badge

    By 2030, Notepad.exe will be 1.5GB in size, require 8GB just to load and have a menu with so many options you'll need an ultra-ultra-ultrawide monitor to see them all

    1. Zarno

      Well, it now needs Windows 11, so if we count that dependency...

    2. CountCadaver Silver badge

      by then RAM won't just be unaffordable it will just be unavailable and the *only* way to use a "computer" will be via a subscription plan to a "cloud" computing plan via a "terminal"/"telescreen"

      Google office apps should have been a wake up call, ditto Chromebooks of where big tech aimed to send us.

      1. Zarno

        Everything old is new again.

        But this brave new world will require gigabit internet, instead of POTS and 300 baud.

      2. ChoHag Silver badge
        Holmes

        We've been crowing about the dangers of subscription computing since Microslop began to require online activation.

    3. find users who cut cat tail

      It does not matter. In 2028, the screen will be already fully covered by AI ‘assistant’ widgets and other pointless popups. So you will not be able to interact with any normal software in a normal way anyway.

    4. elDog Silver badge

      By 2028 it will be preloaded in memory before the login screen. It will be multi-user capable, distributed across every available cloud, have total recall and redo, and with a special Easter Egg, let you see what everyone else is doing!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder if that explains why it suddenly stopped working on two of my machines yesterday? Wouldn't open and gave a file system error. Tried to tell me I wasn't signed in. I had to delete and reinstall it to get it working again. Thanks MS. That really is an improvement.

  13. Luiz Abdala Silver badge
    Coat

    Everything I ever wanted out of Notepad can be found on Notepad++

    code tagging and paragraphing, hexadecimal tinkering...

    Either that or it runs out of a raw prompt.

    I was hoping for those "innovations".

  14. TVU Silver badge

    "Notepad will now tell you all the ways Microsoft has enshittified it"

    There is absolutely no need whatsoever to add unnecessary bells and whistles to basic text editors such as Notepad and Wordpad. The clue is in the word 'basic'.

    1. Mike 125

      > There is absolutely no need whatsoever to add unnecessary bells and whistles to

      ... *anything*.

      One of the most useful things about Notepad was its ability to distinguish between Windows and Unix line endings, now long gone.

  15. IGnatius T Foobar ! Silver badge

    bloat

    I guess Microslop got jealous that Notepad++ had all the bloat, and that would just not do!

    (That's just fine, though ... Notepad++ is really just the author's political soapbox masquerading as a text editor.)

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sorry, can't find Notepad on the Linux I just upgraded to from Windows 10.

    1. timrosu

      I use neovim in terminal.

  17. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
    Pint

    Thank Fuck For That

    The Coloring book option applies only to Copilot+ PCs and requires a user to sign in with a Microsoft account.

    Fortunately that's excluding me then.

    1. David Hicklin Silver badge

      Re: Thank Fuck For That

      Even better now that windows 10 has stopped patching screwing around with the system, the notepad there is just...notepad although I have noticed that it can handle large text files better than the windows 7 version can, when doing my microcontroller C programming on win7 I have to used notepad++ for the larger files.

  18. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Colouring Book

    Guess that will keep the C-Suites occupied for hours

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A more helpful and educational write up would also show users how to restore the old Notepad behavior.

    Open Notepad

    Select the gear icon (Settings)

    Locate the Formatting toggle

    Set Formatting Off

  20. timrosu

    One thing I like about updated notepad is the native markdown parsing. They just need to add plugin system to extend that to yaml, ini... and other formats and maybe add syntax highlighting and vim motions.

  21. Slow Joe Crow
    Mushroom

    Get the flamer, the heavy flamer

    I had noticed the never to be sufficiently damned Copilot icon in Windows 11 but hadn't looked into the full horror. My company loads Notepad ++ on everything which gives all the useful stuff like syntax highlighting in various languages, line numbering, and tracking your parentheses and none of the useless "AI" junk.

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