Apple knits up $230 sock for your iPhone in time for Christmas

Apple, the reassuringly expensive US technology brand, is selling a sock in which iPhone owners can house their gadget. "Inspired by the concept of 'a piece of cloth,' its singular 3D-knitted construction is designed to fit any iPhone as well as all pocketable items," according to Apple. It is designed by the Japanese fashion …

[Paul Herber]

Obviously not for those a bit down at heel.

[Androgynous Cupboard]

So it's sock jokes? I suppose we'll have to, darn it.

[Jou (Mxyzptlk)]

Need some yarn to stitch it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Only a real heel would continue this.

[Dan 55]

Just for those people who've had the wool pulled over their eyes.

[Charlie Clark]

I think I may have to put my foot down to stop this nonsense!

[SupportHell]

Oh put a sock in it! The jokes hanging on by a thread.

[MatthewSt]

Made from sheep, for sheep!

[Apocalypso - a cheery end to the world]

> Made from sheep, for sheep!

Wool? These should be made from recycled Rayon kipper ties so that the static electricity produced can be harnessed to power the phone as well.

[JimboSmith]

I was thinking it looked like a Borat Mankini when I first saw it. I asked a few others and once they had stopped laughing they said oh my goodness yes that’s exactly what it looks like.Then I mentioned the price and the laughing started all over again.

[Roland6]

Well according to Apple: " its singular 3D-knitted construction is designed to fit any iPhone as well as all pocketable items. "

The question is thus whether it can be worn like a mankini and still have space for the iphone...

[Roland6]

Seems they've been nowhere near a sheep:

"Material: Nylon (14%), Polyester (85%), Polyurethane (1%)"

[https://www.apple.com/shop/product/hs8r2zm/a/iphone-pocket-by-issey-miyake-short-lemon]

A question is whether they are made from recycled clothes or plastic bags/containers...

[that one in the corner]

You'd feel a bit of a knit carrying one of these.

[Steve Foster]

Apple Support s[t]ock response

"You're wearing it wrong."

[cd]

Re: Apple Support s[t]ock response

Did the auto-correct change it from jock?

[mevets]

iSniipper?

I think I will market some custom snippers, designed to quickly relieve the iDiiots of their purses.

A bit sad nobody thought of a corresponding item for Glassholes a few years back, it might have saved the world from Meta-bator spy gear.

[mevets]

Anybody remember Zune?

`brown, sorry… "cinnamon."` -- might be an indicator.

[VoiceOfTruth]

The bullshit these people come out with

>> The design of iPhone Pocket speaks to the bond between iPhone and its user

My toes curled up, reading this.

[Paul Herber]

Re: The bullshit these people come out with

If your toes are anything like British Rail sandwiches then they will need ironing.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: The bullshit these people come out with

I can see Satan wearing one of these non the next episode of South Park.

[Kurgan]

Too cheap

It's too cheap. It should sell for 999 dollars.

[Neil Barnes]

Re: Too cheap

I would willingly mortgage my house to pay for it...

Oh, wait, no. That's the BBC Test Card F.

[Mitoo Bobsworth]

Cook taking lessons from the Orange Oaf?

This is up there with Trump sneakers & watches.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Cook taking lessons from the Orange Oaf?

Taking lessons from the Orange Oaf, you say?

No.

He is just attempting to recover part of the moolah he pumped into the Orange Oaf's pockets.

.

[lglethal]

Re: Cook taking lessons from the Orange Oaf?

Nahh, Apple will actually release this as a product. Not just something idiots can put money down on, and hope to receive something, somewhen, maybe...

[Pirate Peter]

early april fool?

i had to check the date, this sort of thing is normally an April fool joke

a fool and their money ..........

[werdsmith]

Re: early april fool?

It’s a publicity stunt from Apple.

That “fool and his money” cliche is so tired.

[hoola]

Re: early april fool?

I think what is sad is that people will buy these.

It really is just crazy what some people do when they are wedded to a brand. It is similar with clothing and so on.

[Anonymous Coward]

Peacock

I'm guessing you don't really need an additional pouch under those unfortunate circumstances.

[Charlie Clark]

Checking the date

I mean, this looks very much like some of those wonderfully credible April fools for fanbois but apparently isn't!

[Mitoo Bobsworth]

Very Nice!

https://www.facebook.com/nelsonmail/photos/have-you-seen-sacha-baron-cohen-and-isla-fisher-out-and-about-in-the-nelson-regi/10157908827665285/

[BackInFiveMinutes]

Doubles as a wank sock for the Apple wankers

[Antony Shepherd]

Had to check the date

No really, it is November, not April. It seems the birth rate is approximately 60 per hour, and fools and their money are soon parted.

[AlwaysInquisitive]

Re: Had to check the date

worth noting that this is not designed for western cultures hence most messaging here will come across as cynical/dismissive. This is a very common form of use in Asia for carrying of phones...

[Jamie Jones]

Re: Had to check the date

It's common in Asia to use something like this costing £130 pounds?

I don't think so!

It's the price that's causing the comments, not the woollen sock itself.

I mean, if they sold a small carrier bag for a few quid, people wouldn't say anything. But if that carrier bag was over £100, you bet your life we'd be laughing at the build of the thing!

[Jan 0]

Thinking ahead ...

I see a prototype iCod (iCodpiece).

[The Travelling Dangleberries]

Re: Thinking ahead ...

Or maybe iJockstrap which fits well if you are a macbook user.

[Fred Daggy]

Re: Thinking ahead ...

I was absolutely thinking "Designed by Baldrick" when I saw it.

I can just image him walking up to the CMO and saying "I have a cunning design, my lord".

(Baldrick icon absolutely needed).

[Jou (Mxyzptlk)]

My 70+ year old aunt...

...you can guess what comes. Knit her own pouch for her smart-phone, with cord to hang it around her heck or arm-neck. She's been doing that long before the phones for "smart". For every new mobile phone she got she made a new one, and will do so again for her next.

[Throatwarbler Mangrove]

Re: My 70+ year old aunt...

Let her know that's she missing out on a huge profit opportunity! Custom-knit iPhone socks, now on Etsy for a mere $220 (plus shipping and handling). Super cheap!

Something something peak capitalism.

[jdiebdhidbsusbvwbsidnsoskebid]

Re: My 70+ year old aunt...

She has prior art then. Could be worth a chat with Apple's lawyers.

[Eric 9001]

Re: My 70+ year old aunt...

Prior art of what?

I'm guessing you're thinking that apple has gone and patented such knitted holder in the USA (which would be completely invalid as those have been around for at least 2000 years - but the USA patent office would be glad to grant one anyway), but apple would have been first to patent and therefore the aunt couldn't demand anything - rather apple could demand that the aunt stop knitting.

[that one in the corner]

Re: My 70+ year old aunt...

Prior art is nothing to do with whether the thing has already been patented in the US! It is just whether the thing has been described (or is simply physically present) in a publicly visible fashion (so an existing patent publication counts, but do does The Beano).

Although, the USPTO may be so utterly crap that they'll only check their own records and not, say, looking at their Christmas cards.

And I could certainly believe Apple would try to sue an aunt in the US, but they'd be relying on just being a bully, not because they'd have any right to do so (although, might makes right, so...)

[Eric 9001]

Re: My 70+ year old aunt...

The USPTO doesn't even check their own records before deciding to grant a patent.

For example, the USPTO granted two patents on the LZW mathematical algorithm (spoiler: all algorithms are mathematical), with the second filed 19 days after; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lempel%E2%80%93Ziv%E2%80%93Welch?useskin=monobook#Patents

The USPTO has only gotten worse since then - for example they're granted thousands of patents on the math used in H.264 and AAC - even though you'll find all the math used if you crack open a few published math papers from the 1980s.

As I pointed out, most likely apple would be a bully and demand that the aunt stop knitting.

Even if you have a legal power to do something wrong, that doesn't mean that such action is right - might makes wrong, no matter how loudly rightfulness is proclaimed.

[DrewPH]

Fooled you all

That's actually a mankini-slash-codpiece.

[JPCavendish]

That is horrific. Rabid consumerism at its very worst.

I have nothing against luxury products per se, but there should be at least a tenuous link between the price charged and the product itself; or at the VERY least, the company should be able to make an effort at explaining the link even if the rest of the world laughs at them.

[Aldnus]

Nan get ya knitting needles out

I can here the clicking now as all the nans of the world start knitting for christmas, guess it wont be jumpers this year. ps wouldnt be seen dead with that but the school racksuite and white trainer brigades will love it along with the ugg wearers and pyjama attired girlyies in walmart/asda in the evenings.

[doublelayer]

iPhone as singular proper noun

I often see people who have grammatical errors that really bother them and don't really bother me, except some cases where their complaints are what bothers me because what they think is incorrect grammar is actually normal, but I think I know what they must be feeling because, for some reason, I find it noticeable and unpleasant any time Apple talks about iPhones like this:

"Born from the idea of creating an additional pocket, its understated design fully encloses iPhone, expanding to fit more of a user's everyday items."

I don't think this is necessarily grammatically incorrect, but my brain just demands that there be a word between "encloses" and "iPhone". "Encloses an iPhone", "encloses your iPhone", "encloses the iPhone", all of those would be totally acceptable, but when they say "encloses iPhone", it somehow stands out very starkly as wrong. And in other languages I speak where articles are either absent or less often used, it is back to sounding normal again. Does anyone else have that?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: iPhone as singular proper noun

"Born from the idea of creating an additional pocket, its understated design fully encloses iPhone, expanding to fit more of a user's everyday items."

So much bullshit, so little time ...

.

[JPCavendish]

Re: iPhone as singular proper noun

Apple considers iPhone to be a proper name; like John. It's an attempt to anthropomorphize our relationship with their product.

Apple more or less pioneered this, but other companies are now doing similar e.g. Google and Pixel "New features and upgrades for Pixel".

[SVD_NL]

Oh cool, my mum crotcheted one of those the other day. She should start selling them!

[Dave Pickles]

Inevitable

Because phones are now too big to fit into a pocket we get stuff like this. How about a James Bond - style shoulder holster instead?

[JPCavendish]

Re: Inevitable

iPhone/Android shoulder holster

[Sam not the Viking]

Difficult Trading Conditions

Looking at the wearer, has Jeff has had to take up modelling?

Or perhaps it was the only way to get a freebie.

[Anonymous Coward]

Colours don't even match the phones

To top it all off, the colours don't even fully match the phones they sell - there's no black pro model, there's no white sock, there's no sage green, etc etc. It's all very 3rd rate before even looking at the wild price tag.

[Jamie Jones]

Re: Colours don't even match the phones

But they are complimentary colours! Don't you know anything about Apple bullshit fashion?!

[trevorde]

Bible for the faithful

"Designed by Apple in California"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Designed_by_Apple_in_California

Just hope the paper is soft and absorbent

[Jamie Jones]

Bollox Bingo

"The design of iPhone Pocket speaks to the bond between iPhone and its user, while keeping in mind that an Apple product is designed to be universal in aesthetic and versatile in use," said Yoshiyuki Miyamae, design director of MIYAKE DESIGN STUDIO.

LINE!

Molly Anderson, Apple's vice president of Industrial Design, said: "This clever extra pocket exemplifies those ideas and is a natural accompaniment to our products. The color palette of iPhone Pocket was intentionally designed to mix and match with all our iPhone models and colors."

HOUSE!

That was a quick game!

[Martin an gof]

Re: Bollox Bingo

You missed

Inspired by the concept of 'a piece of cloth'

M.

[Anonymous Coward]

What is it with Apple and not using the definite/indefinite article whem describing their iToys?

'Carry iPhone'

'Buy iPad'

Etc.

It's obviously their approved corporate style, but why? Frankly it just looks ridiculous!

[that one in the corner]

There is only one perfect, Platonic, iPhone, kept in a vacuum jar, under a velvet cloth, at Apple HQ.

You are allowed to buy a faux-iPhone, which is just like the real thing but simply - isn't. Even you are not special enough even to look upon the jar, let alone the contents.

All related Apple products are made to be used with iPhone (singular) but will also work with the lesser (but otherwise identical) units.

[anthonyhegedus]

It's like them saying "AirPods Pro" instead of "AirPod Pros". Which they do.

[David 132]

And if you say “Airpods Pros”, you sound like Sal in Futurama.

“I gots your airpods pros rights heres!”

[Fr. Ted Crilly]

Wanky...

[PermissionToSpeakPlease]

3D-knitted construction

Also known as "knitted"

[JamesTGrant]

Re: 3D-knitted construction

Indeed - I was wondering if there’s 2D knitted, or 4D knitted

[that one in the corner]

Re: 3D-knitted construction

2D knitting: just keep making the square wider and wider until the thickness is trivial in comparison; good enough for engineering purposes.

4D: Youtube How To - Crochet a Hypercube (crochet, knitting, or even nalbinding - all close enough!)

[Zarno]

Looks like the swimwear from Borat, but somehow worse...

[Bottle_Cap]

One purely for the hipsters methinks!

[BebopWeBop]

One way

of identifying a w*nker at a distance though....

[spold]

The iCock sock - you know you want one...