back to article China's president Xi Jinping jokes about backdoors in Xiaomi smartphones

Chinese president Xi Jinping has joked that smartphones from Xiaomi might include backdoors. Xi made the quip on Saturday during the public section of a meeting with South Korean president Lee Jae-myung. As befits a gracious host, Lee offered gifts for Xi, including a Go board, as both men are reportedly fond of the strategy …

  1. BartyFartsLast Silver badge
    Joke

    Was the smart watch really buggy or was it a sinister plot to wreck the fitness of westerners?

    1. DS999 Silver badge

      Before I got my Apple Watch

      I tried two cheap alternatives I got off Amazon. One was really cheap ($40?) the next was "premium" at least as far as Android smart watches, I think around $100. My goal at the time was just tracking workouts.

      The first watch showed my heart rate accurately (as far as I know) until it got to around 135 or so, then it would drop to 68 (i.e. half) and go up from there. In several workouts I never saw it read as high as 140, even though I know my heart rate was much higher (I think it read in the upper 80s once)

      So I returned it and after spending more time reading reviews to find a good one tried the second watch, and it tracked my pulse accurately throughout the range but once I started sweating heavily enough for it to drip off me it would stop reading and the only way to get it to start reading again would be to take it off and wipe off the back of it and the back of my wrist. But within a few minutes it would be a problem again. I'm glad I bought it during the summer, if I'd bought it during the winter I wouldn't have sweated enough to have seen this failure mode until months after the return period expired.

      After those experiences I decided $200 for an Apple Watch SE was worth it to avoid the stupid hassles. Those cheap watches may not have crashed but they certainly would wreck MY plot of gaining more information about my fitness and workouts with their failures.

      1. MiguelC Silver badge

        Re: Before I got my Apple Watch

        I've been using Xiaomi's mi Bands for several years and I'm pretty happy with those - currently on the 9th version that cost me a pittance (50% discount as version 10 had just come out)

        Small niggle: the lock mechanism in the strap is a bit flimsy and prone to loosening itself upon impact (like diving from a diving board), and I've lost one in a river like that. But I've started buying 3rd party straps with a proper buckle

        1. Nifty

          Re: Before I got my Apple Watch

          I received an Apple Watch as a gift about 8 years ago, still going strong. It has a metal strap and that is the weak design feature, the buckle that pops off when your sleeve catches it.

      2. cd

        Re: Before I got my Apple Watch

        Bangle.js 2.0 specs:

        IP67 water resistant (everyday use, not for swimming or baths)

        Nordic 64MHz nRF52840 ARM Cortex-M4 processor with Bluetooth LE

        256kB RAM, 1MB on-chip flash, 8MB external flash

        1.3 inch 176x176 always-on 3 bit colour LCD display (LPM013M126) with backlight

        Full touchscreen (6H hardness glass)

        GPS/Glonass receiver

        Heart rate monitor

        3 Axis Accelerometer

        3 Axis Magnetometer

        Air Pressure/Temperature sensor

        Vibration motor

        175mAh battery, 4 week standby time

        36mm x 43mm x 12mm watch body, with standard 20mm watch straps

        Full SWD debug port on rear of watch

      3. ravenviz

        Re: Before I got my Apple Watch

        I'm still using a Polar A370, ever since my Microsoft Band carked it.

        Simple and does the job.

  2. Danny 14

    Id be more worried if they didn't have backdoors, that would mean they don't need them to get the data they require.

    1. simonlb Silver badge
      FAIL

      I did buy one myself a few months ago but then found out that, like all shitty 'smart' devices, you MUST have a Xiaomi account first so that you can then register the device via the 'app' before actually setting it up. I sent it back. There is absolutely NO reason a glorified wristwatch needs an internet connection to the vendors servers, irrespective of where they are based.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        I'm really happy with my Kronaby – yes, it doesn't do half the things some people seem to think are necessary – but it does have around two years battery life – big chunky battery and does things which I find useful: start/stop media, remotely operate the camera, work as a countdown, alert my to notifications, etc. It could count my steps if I wanted.

        The only person I know who actively uses a "smart watch" properly, is our electrictian who uses it to answer calls when he can't really use a phone. The rest of it looks like an attempt to justifiy the expense of buying the thing in the first place.

        If I wanted something to track my fitness, I'd probably buy a dedicated fitness tracker: I'm happy with my scales from Soehnle, which transfer the data to my phone via Bluetooth. But I'm sure there are other good options.

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        The gears on my new bicycle requires me to create an account to use the app to set it up !

  3. wolfetone Silver badge

    Show me a device that doesn't have a back door.

    I'll wait. I've plenty of time. Don't you worry yourself, I'll still be here.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Trollface

      Show me a device that doesn't have a back door.

      My office building. Front door only. Unless you count windows?

      1. Snowy Silver badge
        Joke

        I believe on Windows it is called an undocumented feature.

    2. ravenviz

      My fitness tracker has a back door.

      It's where I put the micro-USB plug to charge it!

  4. Craig 2

    Hidden in plain sight

    All the talk about stealth spyware installed on phones makes me chuckle when in reality users sign up voluntarily for every tracking service available....

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    XIAOMI

    XIAOMI is an acronym for Xi Already Owns Me, Idiot.

    (anon bc posting a freshly stolen joke)

  6. Bebu sa Ware Silver badge
    Joke

    Xi has a sense of humour

    so did Stalin, apparently—according to Hugh Trevor-Roper albeit a grim one.

    Xi also plays Go presumably competently which is in stark contrast with the "leader of the free world" who would taxed not to lose a tic-tac-toe game.

    Sorry I missed the Alpaca/Llama story. I imagine a cartoon of Pooh riding an Alpaca will result in the cartoonist's instant "re·education." :)

    1. Blazde Silver badge

      Re: Xi has a sense of humour

      I honestly thought jokes were banned in China. Xi must be softening in his old age.

      Expected plot twist: The Go board is definitely bugged.

  7. PeterM42
    Joke

    Not good

    I remember telling a non-techie about Huawei phones being bugged.

    He laughed because he had a Huawei phone.

    His phone laughed too.

    1. martinusher Silver badge

      Re: Not good

      Your phone is a tracking device that can also monitor everything you do and say. If you've been reading the news then you'll also know that the Israelis are not averse to using a phone's IMSI as way of targeting individual users (they killed a Hamas leader in Iran this way).

      Where equipment is made is irrelevant. Who wrote the software that goes into it, that's another story. Its true that software vendors are so busy tying both their users and themselves up in knots that nobody seems to know what's going on from one release to the next these days but that's a problem with software methodology that could be easily remedied (if people would put their minds to it)(alas, it might do the advertising ecosystem a disservice so maybe that's too much to hope for). Even with the built in uncertainty of modern software its pretty easy to figure out what's going on from the network traffic and its easy for carriers to filter out traffic that's undesirable.

      Reg readers should know all about this stuff. (Xi evidently does.)

  8. Oh No, Not Again

    Its a Chinese phone, of course they have a backdoor.

  9. Ken Shabby Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Do you want it in the front or the back?, said the coalman

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