With impeccable timing, AWS debuts automated cloud incident report generator

In the same week that a massive outage of its own cloud inconvenienced millions of customers, AWS has delivered an improved interactive incident reporting service to help its customers explain what happened when their cloud-hosted resources strike trouble. The service is an enhancement to the CloudWatch tool that AWS promotes …

[Pascal Monett]

Impeccable timing

"We could really have used this a couple of days ago, guys "

Once again, The Vulture bites the heels of IT. Keep it up !

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Impeccable timing

I hope it works on Azure or Google Cloud.

[NoneSuch]

Re: Impeccable timing

The Cloud is sooooooo 2024....

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Impeccable timing

I'm beyond The Cloud.

I'm SOMEWHEEEEEEEERE OVER THE RAINBOW!

Sorry, did a lot of stuff on Azure this week and it drove me slightly mad.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Impeccable timing

Unfortunately the outlook isn't good...the future is still Cloudy with a chance of Downtime.

[bartsmit]

How is the report to be generated?

Will this be an AI summary or will it contain data?

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

Re: How is the report to be generated?

It will run on AWS, so if the tool isn't spewing AI generated data then AWS is down = foolproof

[PM.]

Of course when outage strikes this service will also be down ...

( due to circumstances _absolutely nobody_ could foresee )

[capnkirk]

What if...

it uses DynamoDB to store the data?

[Chris Evans]

But did it work on Monday?

If they've announced it now they must have been testing it for some time. So the big unanswered question is did it work on Monday?

[that one in the corner]

Re: But did it work on Monday?

It was probably working perfectly, gathering all the stats locally and preparing beautifully formatted results. Then found it couldn't send that report anywhere. So it just sat there, forlornly blinking an attention LED, adding to the disco fever in the data centre.

[Doctor Syntax]

Re: But did it work on Monday?

Working on it for some time?

They probably vibe-coded it in reaction to Monday. It'll work impeccably.

[steviesteveo]

Re: But did it work on Monday?

It's been on someone's wishlist for years and no exec was saying no this week

[An_Old_Dog]

Throwing a Bone to the Wolves

(A pioneer family in a horse-drawn wagon careens madly down the road, chased by a pack of hungry, slavering wolves)

Pa: Millie and you girls git in the back! Git ready to throw out the code!

Millie: Aw'right, Pa, we're ready!

Pa: Do it!

Millie: Ready girls? One, two, three, release!

[Anonymous Coward]

You know what they say...

About a stable door after the horse has bolted? I work in one of their warehouses so anon, but they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery!

[An_Old_Dog]

Another Effin' "Dashboard"

The service is an enhancement to the CloudWatch tool that AWS promotes as just the thing to monitor your own AWS apps and resources in real time as it “offers many tools to give you system-wide observability of your application performance, operational health, and resource utilization.”

Awesome for board meetings.

Bloody useless for actually fixing things and restoring services.

[computing]

Just one thing

Host the cloud incident report generator on Azure, please.

Thank you ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Just one thing

Fuck no. Feature stealing is already like the duelling banjos scene out of Deliverance.

DIDDLE ING DING DING

AWS: We're rolling out this feature!

DEE DEE DING DING DING

Azure: Us too...but better...and 2% less expensive with an 18 month contract, no price increase for 12 months, 5% increase for the final 6 months, unless you renew after 12 months for 48 months and buy the Plan 2 package to expand your storage by 100TB.

DING DEE DING DING DING DING DING DING

AWS: Ah but we have 12 predefined roles on ours for better security...we only bill hourly by the minute every month for 1 year then per hour by the minute quarterly every 6 months thereafter. It's therefore better value overall. We also don't lock you into long term contracts unless you want to end the contract.

DING DING DIDDLE DIDDLE DEE DIDDLE DINGY DING DING DIDDLE DEE DEE

Azure: We have 806 roles and we've renamed everything! Wooooooooo!

[Locky]

A cynic might say

Was this what they were making the changes for that brought the house of cards tumbling?

[Anonymous Coward]

I agree with all comments below