back to article AI boffins teach office supplies to predict your next move

It was only a matter of time. Having invaded the software world, AI has now fixed its sights on once-benign household objects and desk fodder. Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) in the US city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, have built a computer vision system that gives everyday objects the ability to predict what …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Teach the objects to sing...

    ..and we can reproduce "Beauty and the Beast"'s "Be our Guest". Or the final battle scene, either is fine with me.

    (at least until Disney learns about this)

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Teach the objects to sing...

      And make toast

      1. HuBo Silver badge
        Holmes

        Re: Teach the objects to sing...

        Yeah ... reminds me a bit more of skutters though, as you can see with the moving trivets, shaking keycup, and usb-plug zamboni in the lab's 30-second youtube "Towards Unobtrusive Physical AI" and their 4:46 video to the right of that which has the stapler-moving unit near 4:20 (mostly harmless except for the knife shuffling at 3:00 and 3:20 -- suspense!).

        It's cool as experimentation imho (research), especially the 30-sec youtube of "Constraint-Driven Robotic Surfaces" (on the same lab page) that has a shape-shifting wall that automatically re-multi-purposes itself in response to perceived intent by whomever is there ... (I'd say it could at least be part of a fun futuristic movie!). Interesting angles imho ...

        1. The Organ Grinder's Monkey

          Re: Teach the objects to sing...

          I remember listening to a scifi short story on the radio years ago about just such a wall, & the woman living in the room forms an "attachment" to the wall which becomes increasingly intense. Ends badly.

  2. Christoph

    Day 1: Introduce objects that move under your hand when you reach for them.

    Day 2: System is hacked so that the objects scuttle out of the way every time you try to grab them.

    1. that one in the corner Silver badge

      You remember the fun we had when Windows 3 programs could all see each others HWNDs? And you could hook any messages?

      And we only used this for serious things, like debugging our own dialog boxes.

      We *never* wrote anything that tracked the mouse and swapped the positions of the "Ok" and "Cancel" buttons whenever the pointer got too close to them.

      1. MonkeyJuice Silver badge

        Windows 3? This was doable in windows 2000 and XP. You could also place shellcode in a field, send messages to cause that shellcode to be executed on double click (as a word separator callback), and send double click to said field to escalate to SYSTEM.

        It was extremely silly.

    2. Ashentaine

      Day 3: BOFH and PFY leave early for the pub, having driven yet another Boss into the cozy embrace of a straitjacket.

    3. frankvw Silver badge

      "Day 1: Introduce objects that move under your hand when you reach for them.

      Day 2: System is hacked so that the objects scuttle out of the way every time you try to grab them."

      Day 3: employers take control of the system, use it to monitor employee productivity, and those who don't work hard enough find themselves bitten by rabid staplers.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If it's driven by similar reasoning to what's behind targeted advertising, it'll do PRECISELY what you don't want it to.

  4. Mark #255

    staplers...

    Back when my wife was a teacher, stapling was needed in batches of 30+. And the required automation wasn't the stapler scurrying to the middle of the desk, under the harsh glare of the fluorescent tubes, but doing the actual stapling.

    She had a battery-powered motorised stapler, which didn't need an internet connection, or cameras/microphones to stalk, erm, monetise, erm allow the Benevolent AI Overlords to seamlessly assist you for a not-at-all-eyewatering monthly fee (24 month contract terms apply)

    1. MonkeyJuice Silver badge

      Re: staplers...

      Finally, a stapler that doesn't require an account to operate.

    2. khjohansen

      Batteries ... for the weak!

      You can still get those - where the "smart" functions are a trigger, actuated by paper (or any object!!), and a "almost out of staples" light!

      https://www.lomax.dk/kontorartikler/skrivebordstilbehoer/haeftemaskiner/rapid-r5080e-el-haeftemaskine--80-ark--graa-8401124/

  5. that one in the corner Silver badge

    Could be useful if

    It sees the man of the house[1] approaching a half-built bookcase with a screw in one hand: and the hammer runs away, hiding itself under the telly, the flat-head screwdriver follows closely[2], whilst the philips-head screwdriver keeps bumping itself up against his shoe.

    [1] not our house, of course, *I* know what I'm doing, ahem[3]

    [2] there being no paint tins in view

    [3] so, where did I put the gaffer tape? That'll fix it - Oi! Come back here, you little blighter. Ha, got you cornered.

    1. JacobZ

      Re: Could be useful if

      I feel like mine do that already. I own three hammers, and I'll be buggered if I can find one when I need one.

      1. David Hicklin Silver badge

        Re: Could be useful if

        > I own three hammers, and I'll be buggered if I can find one when I need one.

        Pencils for me. Wife got me a pack of 20 for Christmas and now the pack is empty and not a pencil to be found.

        Until I buy some more, then they will mysteriously re-appear or make their way to where the used biro's go

  6. Sp1z

    So while I'm working away at my desk and I go and reach for something whose location I know without looking, instead it won't be there and I'll ahve to interrupt my workflow to look for it "helpfully" somewhere else nearer to me.

    Sounds like my mother coming over and "tidying" the kitchen, and me having to spend hours after she leaves put everything back in its place.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "mildly unsettling office poltergeist"

    I dispute the mildly unsettling; I would go with bloody horrifying.

    Imagine Clippy after decades of abuse teaming up with the office kitchen knife — think Rhys Frake-Waterfield's Blood and Hunny.

  8. Dr. G. Freeman

    My office supplies wander off all the time, usually about three seconds before I use them.

    Nothing to do with AI, just co-workers "borrowing" them

  9. Petalium

    It’s getting to the point where every time I hear AI, I reach for my gun.

    Also, will the stapler be red?

    1. Wally Dug
      Go

      The Whole Point!

      But that's the whole point of this - you don't need to reach for your gun as it will conveniently be nearby, ready and waiting.

  10. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Sounds a bit too much like a 3D version of Clippy, or perhaps, Marvin, the Paranoid Android. Hopefully, these "helpful" items won't have the power of speech.

  11. ChoHag Silver badge

    > The team argues that people already trust simple, physical tools far more than voice assistants or smart speakers.

    We trust simple physical tools _because_ our kitchen knives don't take it on themselves to wave the sharp blade around and the mess on our desk stays exactly where we stuffed it under something.

    > We chose to enhance everyday objects because users already trust them. By advancing the objects' capabilities, we hope to increase that trust.

    Come here and put your hands out and I'll show you just how advanced I need the capabilities of my cleaver to be. Sheesh! Some people should not be allowed near a keyboard. Voice control you say? I think I have the capability to deal with that too. Now where did it go...

  12. DS999 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    This is exactly what we need

    Common office supplies that cost 10x as much due to being "smart staplers" and the like and that need to be recharged!

  13. Francis Boyle

    This will cause a run

    on whatever supplies of hope remain in this forlorn world.*

    * As per Douglas Adam's prescient observation. You know the one.**

    **OK, if you insist.

    1. Philo T Farnsworth Silver badge

      Re: This will cause a run

      I was actually put in mind of another Adams reference, the "unlikely principle of defocused temporal perception - a curious system which enables the elevator to be on the right floor to pick you up even before you knew you wanted it, thus eliminating all the tedious chatting, relaxing, and making friends that people were previously forced to do whilst waiting for elevators. Not unnaturally, many lifts imbued with intelligence and precognition became terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up or down, experimented briefly with the notion of going sideways - as a sort of existential protest - demanded participation in the decision making process, and, finally, took to sulking in basements."1

      I can only imagine what damage a psychotic cheese grater could inflict upon its user.

      __________________

      1 Adams, D.,'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy' (Fit the Seventh), Scene 6

  14. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Office equipment scuttling around my desk...

    Or: it could all just fuck off.

  15. JacobZ

    Ceiling cats

    "The system combines ceiling-mounted cameras "

    Make that ceiling-mounted cats and objects that throw themselves off the counter, and I'm in.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: Ceiling cats

      Ceiling cat is already watching you.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The height of absolute desperation ... or is it despair !!!

    Trying to find a use for 'AI' in an area that does not need it !!! [Evoking the frustrated exclamation know as 'FFS !!!']

    The only use I could find for this is to put things 'back' to the position that they 'should be' when they are moved or borrowed by others !!!

    I could also achieve the exact same end-result with lots of high-voltage and/or mini claymore-like devices !!!

    [Much more fun and I would bet 'still' cheaper that the 'AI' system.]

    Dear God in Heaven ... when is this 'AI' non-sense going to stop ... It is like talking to my Dog when he brings me a 'Leaf' to play with !!!

    No matter how often I say that I do not want the 'leaf', my Dog insists that I MUST want it because HE thinks it is a good idea !!!

    [Yes I do mean 'Leaf' ... it is his way of playing with something that moves erratically when thrown that is light & fits in his mouth !!!]

    My Dog is the 'text Book' definition of persistent ... there is nothing that is MORE persistent that also include limitless 'Dog Spit' :)

    P.S.

    I love my Dog because he is so 'Dog-like' in manners, temperament and logic, I like Dogs to be Dogs and NOT extensions of peoples egos !!!

    :)

  17. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

    How Do these People Get their Researches Funded?!

    At least the "Toot-Sweet" of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang fame had a nominally-useful secondary function.

  18. steelpillow Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "Hi!"

    "It looks like you are trying to stab your hand with a paperclip. Can I help?"

    1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      Re: "Hi!"

      Someone is going to have to make a stop-motion video about this.

  19. bishopkirk

    In my office…

    beep…. beep….

    ‘Nurse. Clip please…. Tie…. Scissors…’

    To AI assistant: ‘No, not that one. The one I usually use. No, the longer pair. No, those there. Not that tray, it’s over there. Maybe it’s in theatre 8? I need it fairly quickly please… Today if possible?…’

  20. The Organ Grinder's Monkey

    Sad how few of the commentards that posted in the attached (& disturbingly prescient) smart fridge article are still posting now, 11 years later.

  21. GNU Enjoyer
    Facepalm

    They'll really come up with anything

    To ensure that spying cameras will capture every possible angle, so the serfs can never have any privacy.

    Let me guess, unauthorized movements (movements that makes the transcription error) will be forbidden and punished?

    I never dreamed that it would be conceived to put a knife on wheels that is remotely operated - that would allow for remote stabbing CVEs...

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