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back to article Taliban impose tele-ban and take Afghanistan offline

Afghanistan has dropped off the global internet. Outage-watchers NetBlocks and Cloudflare both attribute the outage to government action, a reasonable assumption given that the Taliban who rule Afghanistan recently cut off internet access in some provinces, citing the need to curb immoral behaviour. NetBlocks and Cloudflare …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just Being Thorough

    NetBlocks reports that telephone services are also down.

    The Taliban cut phone service because they don't want people falling back to old-school methods: downloading ASCII-art porn via modems!

    1. Rycat

      Re: Just Being Thorough

      Not quite thorough enough, I can get maybe 1 out of 10 calls to go through...

  2. Claude Yeller Silver badge

    Puritanism ...

    Is the haunting fear that somewhere, some woman might be happy.

    Actually, the haunting fear of fundamentalists is that schooled women are better in everything than the "crown of creation". They know, they saw it around them.

    These men are closet InCels, living in fear of a world where women have no use for them anymore.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Unhappy

    So, Afghanistan is cut off from the Internet

    "The Register is not aware of a government deciding telecommunications and the internet have no role in its society "

    The Taliban are not a government.

    They are a bunch of crazed zealots of a non-existant "religion" that has been cobbled together with nonsense and hatred to put down women.

    Women no longer have the right to education, nor to work. They only exist to bear children. I've heard that they are not even allowed to invite their women friends for tea - not that they have tea anyway.

    So no more midwives, no nurses and, since men are not allowed to touch them, no medical care from male doctors. This brain-dead thinking is self-defeating. Once most of the women have died in childbirth of from some sort of untreated disease, there won't be enough male children to continue the proud Taliban legacy. That means that, in the worst-case scanario, in fifty years or so the Taliban will all have died out because there won't be enough male children to indoctrinate.

    Well done Taliban, you've set your own clock on your demise.

    Meanwhile, the women are going to go through unimaginable suffering.

    1. imanidiot
      Unhappy

      Re: So, Afghanistan is cut off from the Internet

      Unfortunately, random statistics being random, the history of mankind has shown that your prediction for the collapse of the Taliban is unlikely to actually happen. Make enough women pregnant enough times and statistically a relevant amount of the babies will make it to adulthood.

      1. Wellyboot

        Re: So, Afghanistan is cut off from the Internet

        All with the certain knowledge that it's only gods will that keeps them breathing.

        What else will they ever know?

    2. BOFH in Training

      Re: So, Afghanistan is cut off from the Internet

      Not just the taliban dieing off.

      It will be the whole population dieing off, since taliban or not, the same rules apply to you.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So, Afghanistan is cut off from the Internet

      "The Taliban are not a government."

      Unfortunately, in Afghanistan, it is. It's a country where the Church run the country and all of the rest is just decoration for the fools.

      There's no such thing as separation of church and state in Muslim system in general, so the Church *is* the government. Theocracies are funny like that.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rebranding exercise

    Taliban to Teleban.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Rebranding exercise

      Well someone Jahad to make that joke

      1. ComputerSays_noAbsolutelyNo Silver badge

        Re: Rebranding exercise

        Now the Talibans own Elon Mosque can sell his star&halfmoon-link

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Rebranding exercise

          He could really Prophet from this

  5. 45RPM Silver badge

    Many will be looking to this edict by the Taliban and thinking “thank <insert deity here> it couldn’t happen here”. But the truth is that this isn’t a particularly Islamist problem. It’s a fundamentalist problem. There will be those in the American Christian fundamentalist movement who are thinking what an excellent idea this is. They don’t even need to be particular religious. I’m sure Trump and many of his cronies think this is a wonderful idea now that they’re actually in government. After all, it would weaken opposition against them - and that’s the whole point. As long as Trump and his loyal tech bros can continue to enjoy tech.

    But in ten years time? Right wing fundamentalism is right wing fundamentalist - and maybe the pendulum will have swung everyone into their own version of Afghanistan.

    1. SundogUK Silver badge

      Do you have the tiniest scintilla of evidence that this might be the case?

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Isn't Trump and MAGA enough evidence?

        1. LogicGate Silver badge

          https://theonion.com/conservative-floridian-enjoys-living-under-sharia-law-m-1830188924/

        2. Casca Silver badge

          Not for Sundog or a couple of others here sadly.

      2. ChoHag Silver badge

        Evidence that extremists use any means they can get away with to oppress the people they don't like and keep them from having opinions above their station?

        No. No evidence that that has ever happened at all.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Are you blind !

        Just look at the US nutters and what they have forced on all Americans: abortion, women’s rights (both female and trans women), teaching creationism in schools, banned children’s books, …

        The real distance between the Taliban and Trump supporters isn’t that great…

        1. MisterHappy

          You mean "Y'all-Qaeda"?

        2. Zolko Silver badge

          Are you sure ?

          @AC : MAGA has forced abortion and women's rights on all Americans ?

          1. Roland6 Silver badge

            Re: Are you sure ?

            Well if men ever get to be able to get pregnant, there’s no opt out..

            Also if your son gets a girl pregnant, you can’t just handover a load of money and make “the problem” go away.

            So in some respects AC is right.

            1. Gary Stewart Silver badge

              Re: Are you sure ?

              "Also if your son gets a girl pregnant, you can’t just handover a load of money and make “the problem” go away."

              Ever heard of shotgun weddings? Not much of a thing right now but I do see how it might make a comeback given the current direction the US is heading.

        3. Barry-NJ

          There's little difference between fundamentalists, regardless of their religion. They all want to dictate how everyone else lives.

          1. Cliffwilliams44 Silver badge

            As do Leftists!

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Far left, heading into extremist territory, yes. Just like the far right. Your average left leaning person? No, not even close. On fact pretty much the exact opposite. Same for your average rightist. The extremists are the ones getting all the headlines at the moment, especially in the US, and has reached the levels where most of the far right "squeaky wheels" are so far right, they see even the moderate right as being "far left" because, well, it's loooong way back from where they are now.

              Seriously, think about just how far right you are if you think ALL leftists are "far left". Step back, take stock and think for a moment. Imagine a rainbow[*], ie a spectrum. If that doesn't affect your outlook on people in general instead of putting everyone into an "extremist" position in your mind, then you may be beyond saving.

              * No! A real rainbow. Not some flag that may or may not trigger some people.

      4. goodjudge

        "Do you have the tiniest scintilla of evidence that this might be the case?"

        Trump has forced ByteDance to sell TikTok to his tech / media cronies, including Murdoch and Ellison. The chances of it immediately being used to flood the market with pro-MAGA / Xtian Fundamentalist and anti-Democrat / Liberal videos are somewhere around 99.9999-recurring %. Yeah, ByteDance retains a minority stake. So what?

        1. Cliffwilliams44 Silver badge

          Re: "Do you have the tiniest scintilla of evidence that this might be the case?"

          Trump did not do this, Congress did, and Biden signed it!

          Trump tried to make this work and keep TokTok working in the US. The alternative was a complete ban!

          Claw yourself out of your echo chamber for Christ's sake!

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: "Do you have the tiniest scintilla of evidence that this might be the case?"

            Trump also called for it to be banned. He was one of the leading proponents of it being banned. Biden agreed that TikTok was a problem and so created the EO giving quite some time to sort out a deal. They kept delaying, hoping things would change and they could outlast Bidens presidency because they knew by then that Trump had switched sides because he found he could use it to his advantage. Then, when the time ran out on TokTok, he extended the grace period multiple times so HE could "make a deal" that would benefit him.

      5. Gary Stewart Silver badge

        For your consideration, Trump's full frontal assault on freedom of speech in the broadcast/streaming medias because he got his feelings hurt by comedians making fun of him. How could they resist such an easy target of ridicule? Why stop there? And while your at it have military personnel roam the streets looking for people that look different or they don't like what they are saying and "lock them up". Sounds a lot like Taliban "moral police" tactics to me. Of course they could just be doing military training on the American public like ayatollah Trump wants them to. And yes he really did say he wanted them to in front of every military commanding officer yesterday. And if they didn't like what he was saying they could leave and he threatened their continuing service if they did. All the while kissing up to the radical evangelical (white) Christian nationalist and pretending to be, poorly, one of them.

        1. Cliffwilliams44 Silver badge

          Seriously? Apparently, you have no idea what went on during the Biden regime!

          The FCC has every right to regulate the public airwaves, that is written in the law! The FCC has no authority over cable/streaming and has never said it did!

          The Kimmel situation had nothing to do with Trump, it was the affiliates who pressed the issue, and THEY still won't broadcast his show!

          We are only arresting people who have violated out law by entering the country illegally! The LAWS passed by congress!

          You are the one living in a closed echo chamber full of ridiculous absurdities!

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            "The Kimmel situation had nothing to do with Trump, it was the affiliates who pressed the issue, and THEY still won't broadcast his show!"

            Only AFTER Trump threatened them, in public, over their licenses and the Disney deal awaiting FCC approval.

            "We are only arresting people who have violated out law by entering the country illegally!"

            There are many documented cases of US citizens being arrested in the "sweeps" too.

            But then, I'm not in the US, so maybe seeing a more unfiltered view of the news and goings on in the USA. Maybe the news you see is more "friendly" to the current administration. After all, Trump has said he will "go after" any and all who are not in favour of "the goals of the administration". He has said many times, in many ways, in relation to each of federal, state and city governments as well as various players in the commercial world. And it gets very, very personal if someone says "bad" things about Trump.

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Do you have the tiniest scintilla of evidence that this might be the case?"

        I see you haven't ever seen Fox News. It's literally the Church(TM) channel preaching for gloriusness of His Suntanness and his gloriuos disciples, the Repulicans.

        24/7, all year.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The Trump conservatives have a detailed plan

      They won’t stop at anti-abortion laws.

      Once empowered there’s no limit to the fundamentalism they will attempt to introduce.

      Almost all at the expense of American women.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. PB90210 Silver badge

      The Great Firewall of Mex^H^H^HAmerica

      Wall-to-wall Fox News and AI Trump memes, no Jimmy Kimmel or John Oliver, no accessed to anything remotely DEI...

      And the Dems will pay for this!

    4. Grogan

      America controls the root domain servers, AND most of the major communications companies intertwined are American.

      Before the Trump regime falls, he'll shut down the Internet to try to protect himself. I hope everyone is ready to deploy alternate domain servers and route around their sabotage.

      1. Cliffwilliams44 Silver badge

        Grow up!

        The UK is arresting people for memes that hurt people feeling! Get out of your glass house!

        1. Grogan

          You grow up (evolve)... this is a real concern. The Bush admin set up an Internet kill switch and the authority to use it. They can shut down the root servers and order American communications companies to shut off their pipes.

          Employ your favourite search engine and verify it yourself (it's not my job to educate troglodytes)

          ... and by the way, I'm not in the U.K. whom I would also criticize, I'm in Canada. You know, those people up north that used to be your friends.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Internet is an abomination unto Nuggan.

    1. Stephen Wilkinson

      There's always and applicable STP quote!

    2. 45RPM Silver badge

      Along with live fish, saucers, hatboxes and mechanical devices for the measuring of time.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ... how long until UK follows the trend?

    Current government is banning everything, piece by piece, with furious rage, so they could save a lot of effort by banning *everything* at once.

    Because it *is* a Taliban now.

  8. Andus McCoatover

    Students, bloody students

    Same when Enver Hoxha 'ran' Albania. The world couldn't care less. Got back to normal after he left.

  9. ajadedcynicaloldfart

    According to the Beeb,

    the Taliban Prime Minister has ordered the internet to be "on" again and it does seem to be happening.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: According to the Beeb,

      He missed his porn?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: According to the Beeb,

      Anything the Beeb says has to be taken with great suspicion and verified. Surprised they haven't changed their name to Pravda.

  10. Danny 5

    merrit

    With the current climate in the world of social media, I'd almost say there's some merrit in simply turning off the internet.

    I don't know, maybe I'm being a little bitter.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: merrit

      I think there is merit in that idea. If UK/EU actually starts WW3 we will find out because if it's a) conventional and b) real then the first target will be communications infrastructure. It'll be dig for Britain again because all that supermarket food will be in short supply. We'll have to pull mad Ed Milliband's solar farms down, cancel IHT on farms and support farming again. Or will we ... nah if Starmer's still in power we'll starve. If nuclear, well there won't be many left alive after a few months.

      1. Casca Silver badge

        Re: merrit

        Ah yes. Its the UK/EU who will start it. Sure. AC comment from kreml.

    2. elaar

      Re: merrit

      You don't need to turn of the whole internet for that, just the WWW, at least then critical interconnected infrastructure can still function.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lammy

    I'm surprised Lammy hasn't invited their leaders to Downing Street for a photo-op and praised their leadership saying Afghanistan will be a more open society now.

    1. James Turner

      Re: Lammy

      Probably because he isn't Foreign Secretary now.

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