Bored developers accidentally turned their watercooler into a bootleg brewery The world of work can sometimes drive IT pros to drink, leaving them more likely to make the sort of mistakes that The Register celebrates each week in Who, Me? It’s our reader-contributed column in which you share stories of making a mess at work, and cleaning up afterwards to the best of your ability. This week, meet a …
> and learned the machine only cooled liquid in a small chamber between the neck of the bottle and the taps.
Yes, hindsight is 20/20 and all that, yet - this limitation would have been obvious to anyone touching the water canister when it was, say, half full. Or half empty.
LOL!
"Hardware" vs. "Software" always has, and always will, be an issue. I was an integration/test body for a while and was sometime stuck in the middle (e.g. "If the hardware team had just done this" or "Those software engineers can't wrangle electrons" etc. etc. etc.), and usually enjoyed the show...right up until time got pressing, at which point it became frustrating.
One of the more brilliant colleagues officially switched between 'software' and 'hardware' during a redundancy exercise (Easy, they knew they'd be fools to let the person go)....we had a laugh when I asked him 'Who are you going to blame now?':-)
Pint is for Kiran P. (The HMG Guru) if he reads this.
Did you mean just "hooch" in the general American sense, or was that a somewhat appropriate reference to Hooper's Hooch, the alcoholic lemonade of late 90s alcopop moral panic infamy?
I noticed in the Wikipedia article that it says they're making it again, but that's most likely just a cash-in attempt and I suspect a bit of nostalgia-baiting for those who were kids back then and aren't now.
The old-style 90s alcopops died because they were seen as unsophisticated by the people old enough to have money to spend on alcohol regularly (i.e. 18+). Or rather, they didn't want to be *seen* as unsophisticated, i.e. drinking something that made them look like a 14-year-old. (*)
But the market was still there so alcopops simply got better at marketing themselves. Hence all those flavoured "ciders" and "vodkas" sold under the name of "grown-up" brands.
(*) As was noted, actual 14-year-olds getting drunk in the park don't really constitute a big part of the market in absolute terms, and from what I've heard most of the alcopops were too expensive for them anyway so- despite the moral panic- they were more likely to go for White Lightning or Frosty Jack's purely because of the price.
Over three decades ago my younger brother was given for his birthday one of those water-rocket kits - you know, a valve assembly with Dan Dare rocket-style fins, that you screw onto a plastic 1 litre Coke bottle, half-fill with water, stand upright, and inflate with a bicyle pump - once the pressure exceeds the valve's limit, the water is rapidly forced out and the bottle ascends skywards.
Well, enamoured of this toy, I took it into school a day or two later and was demonstrating it to my friends when Mr Fisher, our Physics teacher, promptly confiscated it.
And for all the rest of the day, as I sat through History/Latin/Biology lessons, I could see Mr Fisher out on the playing fields, repeatedly launching the rocket, scampering after it to retrieve it and giggling like a small child. He got way more fun from it than we had chance to!
"And let that be a lesson to you, boy!"
My high school physics assessment was an experiment I designed to establish the relation between pressure and propellant volume on the one hand, and distance those things travelled on the other.
If I remember rightly, there's a sweet spot just this side of half full, and you're never going to burst the thing with a foot pump so pressurise it to within an inch of its life.
My high school physics teacher had us build potato cannons and test them on school grounds. (The legality of this is questionable.) There were several compressed air ones and a couple dry ice ones.
One of the compressed air ones had a tiny little pressure chamber with a badly-fitted filling valve on it, which when at full pressure could be heard to leak. It also had a 6' barrel. Much to our surprise, it had MUCH longer range than the 4" diameter, 3' long pressure chamber units with the 4' barrels. Makes sense in hindsight; the additional acceleration time is much more effective than increased impulse.
We learned to demonstrate the explosive nature of flour from an early age. Take a six foot length of 4" PVC pipe. Drill four 3/4" holes around the circumference of one end, about 2" from that end. Place a votive candle on the ground, and put the pipe over it. Light the candle through one of the holes. Dump a scant 1.5 tablespoons (10g) of sifted[0] flour into the open end. On a calm day, the minor explosion[1] can be fairly loud, and the resulting smoke-ring can rise & expand far more than you might think. All sizes are approximate. I've never actually measured anything when doing this, yet it always works despite my lack of care and attention.
NOTE! While I've never had an issue playing with this toy, nor have I ever heard of anybody getting hurt or doing damage to anything, this may be illegal in your jurisdiction. Most such toys tend to get lawmakers upset, probably because they are always vaguely afraid that somebody, somewhere, is having fun. Needless to say, children LOVE it :-)
Need I say don't do this indoors?
[0] If you don't sift the flour, it might fall as a clump & extinguish the candle.
[1] Depending on pipe size, hole size & number, the grind of flour, the quantity of flour, how well it is dispersed, height of candle, and other variations, the noise can range from a mild "pop" to a dull "thud" to a deep "bang". Experiment. That's what science is for, right?
As you may or may not know, that's a generic name for that particular small candle type.
If you prefer, you can use birthday cake candles ... but they tend to burn down sooner than you'll want to stop playing with the toy. The votives last a lot longer.
I've still got one of those. Mine launches itself if the pressure gets high enough. That doesn't happen with the supplied pump, but it does if you hook it up to the workshop airline. Can't remember the number but I think that it was in the area of 80psi. Went up a lot further that way.
Bringing back memories of how sharing "ginger beer starter" was all the rage, from the 1960s to the 70s (as yours grew, it would be split in two, each half onto a piece of toast with some more ginger root and sugar, then dropped into water). Lashings of ginger beer were, of course, already popular before then, but this fad was more diy than delicious, to be honest.
In particular, the tales of people going on holiday and coming back to find a ginger liberally spread across the walls - including at least one garage that had been so damaged, the story went, that the bomb squad was called in to handle the remaining demijohns.
A friend's dad was making Calvados at home in the kitchen. Somebody apparently screwed on the cap on the PET bottle full of cider and the happily growing and CO2 producing yeast too tightly, and one evening at their place it blew up in my friend's face without any warning. I was facing the other way, thankfully. The whole kitchen got remodelled afterwards…
A full watercooler bottle going off would be… interesting. Probably enough of the sticky sugary stuff to kill all the devices in all the cubicles.
There was an event a number of years ago, I worked for a large UK Bank in one of their large offices. The team i worked on much preferred "proper" brews over the machine stuff so we brought our own tea and coffee in and as is the want, some of us liked milk in our brews. So I happened to have one of those metal flasks with a pop top dispenser which each morning I would buy a fresh pint of milk from the on site shop, wash and clean out what bit was left from the day before and refill it which kept it fresh for the day and the world and team were happy little bunnies..
Then one day I was struck down by the old appendicitis, the problem was the rest of the team were not as diligent as I was in fact they were basically lazy gits and so no one took over the milk duty and the flask sat there for prosperity.. until one fateful Friday afternoon.. A huge bang, roof tiles descending from the false ceiling and the most horrendous stench filled the office. No one had thought to wash out the milk that had been left that last day I was there and slowly but surely enough pressure built up that eventually the plastic pop top succumbed to the force from below and fired straight up like a rocket taking out two tiles and the rotten milk stench filled the room.
I returned 6 or so weeks later and my desk was still covered in bits of tile.. Flasks were hence banned...
Apparently some people genuinely thought a bomb had gone off :o)
... my roommate decided that brewing beer in the watercooler would be a good idea. So he purchased a five-gallon beer kit, dumped it into a new bottle of water, and up-ended it on top of the cooler.
He figured that the fresh bottle of water would have no growies in it, so it would work fine without boiling per the instructions.[0] Then he headed for his girlfriend's house across town for a long weekend, being sure to turn off the apartment's HVAC to save money (we were starving students). This was on Wednesday afternoon. A very hot and sunny Wednesday afternoon. In a South facing kitchen, with a big plate-glass sliding door out to the balcony.
I arrived home Friday night from a conference at BBN to find the yeast farts (CO2) had managed to push the liquid out of the bottle, and all over the kitchen floor. There was about a quarter inch of proto-beer goo everywhere, soaking into the carpet of the room adjacent, and getting sucked up by the bottom of the cheap wood of the cabinetry.
I already had my bags packed, so I headed for my GF's place, and had the rest of my junk out before he made it home on Monday afternoon.
[0] This is NOT true. Don't do it. Follow the instructions that came with the kit. They exist for a reason.
Again, a "brilliant" idea that's really a stupid person's idea of a smart person's idea. A nanosecond of forethought by any Science or Engineering student* would have predicted the outcome even w/o brewing experience.
*Any field with the word "Science" explicitly in its name does that because it isn't.
> Software engineering has always been an aspirational term
For some reason, a few colleagues (usually of the manager variety, but not always) were annoyed when they found out that my passport always stated "computer programmer" and not anything more fancy sounding, especially as the hair went, the beard greyed and the colleagues appeared who had never handled a punched card. Perhaps it didn't help my telling them that, after a CompSci degree and postgrad studies, I knew full well what I was *actually* doing for a living.
"For some reason, a few colleagues (usually of the manager variety, but not always) were annoyed when they found out that my passport always stated "computer programmer" and not anything more fancy sounding"
Just curious, what passport says your occupation? I've never seen that, mind you I am only familiar with the passports for 4-5 countries so maybe it is more common that I realise.
the nice lady who sold you stamps in the Post Office
Clearly you didn't have a Miss Maccalariat
Sometime in the 90s a colleague unintentionally invented the Beverage-based Office Micro Brewery: The company used to close for two weeks in summer. And before that, my colleague left a partially empty bottle of a soft drink, based on whey (go figure!), at his desk - top-floor, under flat roof without aircon.
The result wasn't pretty but pretty interesting. The bottle exploded and a considerable part of the workplace, involving several desks, was covered in yellow, flaky goo.
During lockdown, while the school site was mostly empty, the IT team were still required to be on site to fix any equipment we couldn't fix remotely.
As you can imagine, we'd soon fixed everything that was easy to fix, so boredom led us to start work on some of the backburner jobs, like cleaning the heads on an HP Pagewide printer.
After hours of work, and the removal of much skin from our hands we managed to get to the pagewide print head and gave it a good clean, then we decided to see if we could completely dismantle it and rebuild it.
Let's just say we succeeded with part of that task, rendering the printer to an aluminium frame and plastic bin full of parts. The rebuilding part was less successful, so my colleague took away several motors which he used to build a robot water sprayer to rid his garden of pesky cats...
"Don't worry Mr B... I have a cunning plan! We rebuild the printer, right, then take the photos, then dismantle it back to where it is now, and we'll have the photos to guide us to rebuild it."
"Yessss. I think I am on the verge of spotting the flaw in your plan, Baldrick. Still, my hopes weren't high."
We had a water-boiler, a stainless steel/chromed cylinder with a thermostat-controlled electric heater (think 'Church Fair'), which provided us with sufficient very hot water for the day. The quality of the tea deteriorated slightly over the day (everyone knows that you make proper tea with fresh, boiling water) but you get used to it. It was the duty of the first person in to fill the tank from a 'special', dedicated, clean bucket. Noticing that the bucket had been purloined for 'other purposes' and the vessel seemed to run out earlier in the day than usual, I looked inside the cylinder to find a major accumulation of limescale: we have very hard water in these parts. Whilst it could be chipped out or dissolved in vinegar (eventually), we agreed that the vessel should be replaced and a better filling-system installed (a tap!).
I phoned up the manufacturer to order a replacement and was asked about its purpose. Unimaginatively, I thought there was only one possible use: boiling water for tea or coffee. Apparently there are many adopted uses, the second-most common was boiling hams. Another was making porridge. A lot of porridge. Mulled wine.....
Our office bought a standard kettle and I brought a tea-pot to make a proper brew, with tea-leaves, of course. During the course of the working day, that pot was never cold.
I brought a tea-pot to make a proper brew, with tea-leaves, of course
Always found tea pots at work didn't work, as it were. Nobody wants to be responsible for emptying, swilling, refilling, and unless everyone has a brew at the same time you end up with increasingly stewed tea getting increasingly cooler. I've just got used to having bag-in-cup tea at work, and the proper stuff at home.
Reminds me of a story I might have told before though. I did a "sandwich" degree which meant we spent the third year "in industry". I spent a year with an electronics manufacturing company which specialised in the then-newish area of surface mount assembly.
(aside - the boss there was very much of the "keep the workers happy" ilk and the drinks vending machine dispensed hot and cold beverages for free, with an occasional vote on what the soup dispenser should be topped up with this month)
Needing cheap accommodation, I lodged with someone my mum had once met and remembered, on the small farm they ran. I'd grown up used to very weak tea. My dad basically made tea... no, actually, he very rarely actually "made" tea, but he expected his tea to be made with one bag to a pot, pour the boiling water on and then pour it straight in to the cups.
At the other end of the spectrum, the farmers made a fresh pot of tea in the morning and put it on the back of the Rayburn, so when I was having breakfast at 7ish it was still ok. During the day this pot was topped up with water and an occasional spoon of tea leaves so that by evening it was near treacle-like. I learned to drink tea any old how!
M.
"one bag to a pot, pour the boiling water on and then pour it straight in to the cups."
My grandfather had no such pretense. It was his habit to drink a cup of hot water each morning, to "flush out the poisons" as he put it. I believe it was something he picked up while serving (though he was Canadian) with the British Army under Allenby in the Middle East during WW 1.
I never learned what poisons he had in mind, or how he thought his morning ritual would flush them. I seem to recall asking as a small child but not getting a straight answer. Whether he didn't actually know, or considered me too young to be told, I'll never know.
My grandmother didn't share his habit, but every morning she dutifully boiled him his cup of water.
Since there are a lot of Brits here, I suppose it's worth asking: does that ring a bell for anyone? Was it indeed a common British soldiers' habit from that time period?
You're a bit late to the thread, but the only person I know who did anything like that was a lady at church many years ago* who would either have just boiling water instead of tea or coffee, or would occasionally consent to boiling water on a small amount of milk. Apart from my dad, everyone else I know is very much in favour of "strong but not stewed" tea.
M.
*many years ago, yes, but she was only a few years older than me and while I haven't seen her for some time, I'm sure someone would have told me if she'd died.
Or changed her drinking habits!
We have hard water where we live, too. Lots of scale and lime builds up if you let it. We have an espresso machine and a Zojirushi kettle for hot water needs, but I also have a large saltwater reef tank that needs its water changed every once in a while. In order to keep the water parameters within tolerances, it's recommended that you make your own saltwater from premix and good water. And by "good water," I mean Reverse Osmosis/De-Ionized water, a.k.a. - RO/DI. Rather than buying gallons of RODI from the local fish store, I bought my own RODI kit and can make my own virtually pure H2O with nothing in it but hydrogen and oxygen.
I use my RODI water in my kettle and espresso machine and haven't had to de-scale in over 15 years. I.e. - no calcium in the RODI water means no scale in the appliances. My neighbor discovered my secret and now comes of every two weeks or so to fill up dedicated jugs for his own espresso machine. It makes for a nice cup of tea and lets the espresso crema really come out smoothly.
Lots of hard water where I live too. Fortunately the city opened a new water treatment plant about 20 years ago that reduced it from "very hard" to "somewhat hard" so while limescale isn't eliminated it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be.
About 15 years ago I found I had a small leak in my water heater. I knew it was a very old one so it was obviously due for a replacement. Called a plumber made an appointment to have a new one brought over and installed. He brings the new one down the basement stairs on a hand truck and sets it aside, then disconnects the old one, and drains it. He is clearly struggling and swearing under his breath trying to get the old one onto the hand truck so I asked if he can use a hand and he gratefully accepts. That thing weighed a ton! He says it is so old and the water used to be so bad he wouldn't be surprised if it was 1/3 limestone inside.
He said it probably lasted as long as it did because the previous owners must have been changing the anode rod. And that's when I learned water heaters have an anode rod, and what its for lol
Brewing Tea? I understand that there is a British standard for doing just that. I doubt that anyone actually follows the standard as it is written as (I suspect) that everyone has their own standard for tea.
Me? I drink office coffee with enough pollutants to make it taste OK for me.
I can beat lemon syrup in the water cooler. Once my office was across the hall from the coffee room, thankfully it also had an electric water kettle (I never drink coffee). One day I've got my cup and fav tea bag ready for a cuppa, and I make it to the coffee station, and I pick up the kettle and it's got enough water for me, I put it back and it boils soon, I fill my cup and head back to my office. I started to take my first sip, and I thought the smell was different but familiar, and took the sip anyway. Bad IDEA! Someone* had decided to put fresh ginger and a fresh lemon in the water since they had a sore throat, because they wanted more than one cup! Funny how that cooker ended up in an auxiliary coffee room... Must be a Dutch tradition, I was working in NL at the time.
*I know this person well, and can't begin to understand their thinking on this one, this is a smart individual. I guess common sense is the first thing to go for some people when they are feeling sick?
"Common sense" would also dictate that tea and coffee flasks are not interchangeable. Yet, flight crews do it nearly without exception.
And before you comment "not to drink anything made with water from the airplane tank" - I have a robust digestion but I cannot stand tea smelling of coffee.
In the (very) early 1960s my dad was seriously into home-brewed wine, and we always seemed to have flagons dotted round the house blooping away through the airlocks.
Come winter 1962/3 (yes, that one) we moved from London to just outside Reading. Once we were settled in dad started paying attention to the wine again, and as it had all stopped fermenting, bottled it and put it out in the garage (an asbestos affair). Come the following spring we were woken up one night be the sound of loud bangs and crashes coming from the garage. Now warmed up again, the wine had restarted fermenting. Corks were flying all over the place some actually going through the garage panels, and there was wine sprayed everywhere.
The gooseberry wine I make, when fermented to completion, at around 14%, very much does need back sweetening, unless you like your wine very dry. Now, you can take the chance that you have racked and fined it for long enough, and that there's no trace of live yeast before you do so, or you can use a fermentation stopper after racking, to prevent it from taking off again when you sweeten it. A wine that can appear perfectly clear to the eye can still have live yeast cells in it. It doesn't take a lot of sugar to make a very sour wine palatable, and isn't exactly a controversial finishing step. Back-sweetening is also a very common step in commercial winemaking.
Addition of sorbate (and metabisulphite) is a common method to stop fermentation. There are other techniques (such as cold stabilisation or long racking times with fining agents) that will also do the trick. I'd not consider any of these techniques as "doing it wrong".
The alternative, of adding more sugar than the yeast can cope with, and letting it ferment to the point where the alcohol content kills the yeast, can also lead to a wine that doesn't make your gums recede into your jaw, but you run the risk of producing off flavours from the stressed yeast, and, depending on the strain of yeast you are using, a wine that is stronger than you may want. Lalvin EC-1118 can apparently go up to 18%, but that's not really an ABV I'd like in a table wine.
"We made sure to get rid of the lemonade before anyone noticed and cleaned the water cooler thoroughly," Sherman wrote. But no amount of scrubbing could remove the horrible taste that now permeated the machine.
"So that evening we stayed after closing time and we swapped our watercooler with the one used by the chief technology officer and chief security officer," he told Who, Me?
That is something the BOFH would absolutely do.
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2025
